Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Cobalt's Office of Security - the 80's Power Years

<walks in front door, sees anxiety on My Whee Fem's face>

What is it My? Hm?

...

I see. I'll open it in private. Have Jailbait Lass join me.

Actually--hold that. Listen, My. If Concord comes in again, tell him I want to meet with him privately. I think its time we talked finally, face to face.

Do not tell anyone else--especially LMBers or Security Officers. *Especially* the ones you think I would normally tell on my own.

I believe what needs to be done will not make some members completely happy.

(Now to see what's in this package...)

ATTENTION ALL SECURITY OFFICE INTERNS:

Please inform Everyday Girl that I would like to speak with her as soon as she is available.

- Cobie

<closes chest and puts it back under his bed>

No...I'm not using that...not yet.

<exits, finds Cobalt examining something>

What up, Des? Whatcha got there?

Hm, I'm not sure. Gary Concord dropped it off, so it should be interesting none the less. We probably should have the bomb squad in here.

<looks around. Puts up forcefield magnetically>

Well, hopefully you and I will survive it...

<starts to unwrap package>

<Appears in the Security Office via Holographic Projection>

I understand you wanted to talk to me, Cobalt. I'd do this in person but I don't feel the need to kick Lard Butt's stupid carcass all over the Security Office, Again.

The package, as you already know, is everything I know and/or suspect about Slim and his motivations. His grudge against you is real, whether you even know about it or not, your armies did lay waste to his home world while battling the Barbarian Hordes.

Anyway, he's got Pagan Lass, Stoopid Cat, a robot version of Lard Butt, some blue skinned cutie that I've never met, and that goofy robot sidekick of yours, all encased in crystalline time and hanging up behind his bar. The good part of that is nothing can harm them while they're in that condition.

The bad part of that is that he won't release any of them until you go in person to arrange it. He wants you dead Cobalt, and he doesn't care how many other people he has to kill to get to you.

Just remember, inside his bar there's no defense against his time freezing power.

Thank you Ultra Man, for your help.

I recall my old friend Scipio Taltarus' report on what happened to Slim's homeworld. A rogue commander took a portion of my armies and caused havoc that was unauthorized. I dealt with him as best I could and dismissed him completely, but I see that Slim will always blame me for it, rather than the commander himself. There's little that can be done about it now...other than bring this problem with Slim to a head.

But once again Concord, you show that you're not so villianous as some of my fellow LMBers believe. Why then, do you act so antagonistic to the LMB on Legion World? Why don't we work together? Eventually, a choice will have to be made.

But this information should be helpful. Soon it'll be time for the confrontation with Slim.

As for the blue-skinned cutie, I know her very well. She's my ex-wife...

<hands grips into a fist>

<My Whee Fem sends Jailbait Lass an omni-text, letting her know. Jailbait Lass quietly waits for her shift to end, not bothering Cobalt and Lardy while talking to Concord>

<she replies "ok">

<left alone, Lardy muses...>

A robot version of me? How is that possible if I just found it destroyed? Unless Slim destroyed it and left it at the Lair...or there's more than one?

<Lardy yells>

Concord! If you can hear me, reappear! I need to ask you a question...

<taps foot impatiently>

Look, Concord, I'm pretty sure you can hear me, so: all I wanna know is whether that Robot's still in Slim's, okay? For all I know, there's only supposed to be one Lard Lad Robot. If there's two...that changes things.

If you really wanna help, leave a message at my thread for info on my robot. It's still open! And if you can help and give any additional info...

<grits teeth>

...I'll owe ya one.

<'ports out>

Okay, so a girl goes on her honeymoon and when she gets back, all chaos has broken loose. I'm pretty sure I still work here, so... what's up? How can I help?

And what's this I've heard about the Royal Inquisitor putting Vee in a coma??

Hello?? Lolita-- are you here? My still won't talk to me after that comment I made about her-- well, never mind.

That's what it appears to be Cali, though we can't jump to conclusions. So far, the Security Officers have been unable to locate Roy. If you could pitch, that'd be great.

I'm dealing with this Slim problem right now, and as of right now, we don't think the two are connected. But you never know.

By the way, congrats!

<hugs her, kisses her cheek>

A shame your off the market officially

<runs off>

Thanks, Cobie! Good luck with Slim-- we know he's got a hard on for you, so you might need it.

Search for Roy it is. (Too bad I don't have my girl Frio to back me up anymore. )

Lard Butt, every time you draw a breath you owe me, you're just too damn stupid to realize it.

Yeah, the time frozen robot is still in Slim's place, and there's what appears to be the remains of a destroyed robot here in the security office, plus theres a robot skulking around the city apparently checking up on you...

How many of those things did you build?

<views message on his Omnicom from the Senate>

Three robots? WTF?

If Grape Boy's tellin' the truth...big IF...I've gotta find the one he says is "skulking around".

<rereads>

"every time you draw a breath..."?!?!



Grape Boy's fulla ****! I'll owe him all right...

<clinches fist>

Soon as the Senate does what's necessary I'll track down this other robot...and then, Grapes!

<puts Omnicom down, listens to debate>

OOC: Wonder if Gary's just blowing smoke up Lardy's ass, or was this a clue?

<both My Whee Fem and Jailbait Lass exit the Security Office, leaving Matlock's intern, Bonita Bundin, running things administration-wise>

<Jailbait Lass sends Cobie an omni-text, but keeps its contents secret>

Excuse me. Is Cobalt Kid around? A message was delivered to him care of my office.

Cobie,

I didn't mean to read the message but it came on a DisneyWorld Postcard (the one of Cinderella's Castle). It reads:

Dear Cobalt King [sic]

You will turn over the treasury of the Security Office to us or we will release the information that you have fathered an illegitimate child. What will your beloved Princess think of you once she knows? Sent the money to our secret hideout.

The Terrible Threateners

Er...I'm sorry...I...I can't help but laugh...

The Security Office treasury remains secure and in a secret location. And by all means, let the Princess and everyone else know...I'm sure the child has already attacked Legion World a dozen times...

Dear Cobalt Kid (sorry about getting your name wrong last time),

Stop Laughing or..or..we'll hold our breath!

The Terrible Threateners

*outside the doors of the security office a small crowd begins to gather.
It is a small crowd, only 10 or 15 people.
There is something wrong with this crowd however, as is members all appear to be various states of decay.
A whispering is heard...it is one word, repeated over and over.......

"Shenu"*

-------------INCOMING MESSAGE---------------

This is Cobalt Kid. All Security Officers are to proceed to the de-contamination units. Not the 'De-damnation' units.

----------------END MESSAGE------------------

<arrives>

So, what in the world is this...

<magnetically seals undead magnetically>

Sheenu? Why do I recognize that name? And knowing how delicious sentients find me, should I be worried that my brain is a possible appetizer du jour around here...?

[enters]

Don't worry, Des--that ain't even big enough for an appetizer!

[laughs]

So what's with all the dead dudes?

Whoa, look out Lardy!

<magnetically nails one>

One bite and you'll be infected! An undead Lard Knight servant of Sheenu! We don't want that--whatever the heck it means.

I'm calling off all Security Officers. This is a job for the LMB proper...

***Deddy, Miner, anyone on Monitor Duty--help needed at the Security Office STAT***

Hmmm....

<incinerates five of them>

<blows finger as if it were a barrel of a gun>

Ha! They're not so--

Whoa! there's a lot more alluvasudden!

<continues blasting>