Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Cobalt's Office of Security - the 80's Power Years

I thought it was a colorful euphemism.

How about you just show us some ID there big fella before I start getting a little testy.

"Officially announcing my return"... maybe I'll officially announce my boot up his... well anyway, it's nice about Gladys. She's glowing and sparkling. Nice.

Glad to hear ol' Gladys is such a ho! Makes it less likely that I knocked 'er up, eh?

Actually, I'm still not even sure I even did the deed with Gladys. That was my thong draped over her, but I'm thinking someone planted it on her to make me wonder. I mean, I've had my sexual depravities, but I'm pretty sure I've stuck to humanoids (if you don't count those nights Cobalt and I visited random farms...) at least!

Hmmm...could this Ultra Man have planted the thong on her?

So, the universe does contain at least one constant.

The Lard Knight still haunts Legion World.

And, he will still attempt to engage in sexual congress with anyone or anything that doesn't expiditiously flee.

When he's sober enough to crawl, anyway.

Agggg!! My brain!! That mental image? Yeah, so did not need it.

Excuse me while I go find some brain bleach. And/or some vodka...

Which mental image, Cali? Me in a thong? Doin' the wild thing with a sentient disco ball? Me and Cobalt at the farm? Me having congress with anything that won't flee? Me crawling?

I can't avoid mentioning it if I don't know what offends!

Well?

Er...just to let you all know, I haven't had a relationship with a sentient disco ball in years, ever since incident with the sentient disco ball High Priestess in Epsilon IV way back when.

And you can already start to see a little blue light flickering in Gladys' womb!

Polar Boy, My Whee Fem is the secretary for the whole of the Security Office. While Jailbait Lass is my personnal assistant, My Whee Fem is the assistant out in the main lobby that greets people coming in. Currently, I believe she's single, and I can put a good word in. She'll be shocked to hear my trying to set her up with anyone other than me.

And Matlock, that's what I like, talkin' some smack to this newcomer! Let's see what he's all about, even if it means having to break out the old Gibson/Glover manual...

Anthony? There you are! I'm back from my spiritual retreat.

<looks around>

What's with the pregnant disco ball?

Aside: Ohhhhh, BOY.

Two words: DNA Test.

And I don't mean quizzing former Legion writers either.

um, hi ... my name is SharkLad ... how's everyone doing?

Huh, all the claims forms for the health plan's DNA testing service have Cobie's name pre-printed on them already. Can't imagine why.

<realization dawns on her face>

Ha! I get it! My fiance thinks he may have had a sexual dalliance with the sentient disco ball!

Well, babe, I've neglected to tell you that I put a Fidelity Charm on you a few months ago just to prevent such drunken slips!

So you're in the clear, babe! I suspect that Phil at the Legion Academy Gym has some 'splainin' to do!

HA-HA!!!

F-fidelity charm?

*gulp!*

Oh her!!!

I normally come in the back door (Of security hq) so I don't see a great deal of her but I do remember her and a large quantity of silver ale at the xmas party.

Oh her!!!

I normally come in the back door (Of security hq) so I don't see a great deal of her but I do remember her and a large quantity of silver ale at the xmas party.

Hm...she seems unusually fond of you. Just be wary...she can get highly emotional sometimes when she thinks you're playing 'games' with her, although I never quite understood what she was talking about.

How DO you tell if a disco ball is pregnant? It's already big and round. How can it get any rounder?

Man! IB, you made her cry, you insensitive lout! Apologize immediately!

(psst...she's just hamming it up for attention IB, don't give in! Play it cool and aloof and she'll be all OVER you!)

Gladys doesn't seem to have a translator. So how do you determine what her pulsed light bursts actually mean? She could be screaming "No Leave Me Alone, You Beasts!" and none of you would know it.

But our esteemed Security Chief just sits by and watches, while doing absolutely NOTHING, as usual.

Come Gladys, I've made you an appointment with Quislet, Esq. and arranged for a translation robot to be present...

I speak Pulsed Light Bursts...Actually "Speak" is the operative word....
She Wants Pickles...And Kahlua.
Cravings eh?

Now Leave her alone Ultradork.

*under her breath*
God...Why am I helping these people? I dont even like...people...you know that Kahlua sounds like a good idea....

Actually, I'm quite fluent in Pulsed Light Bursts myself and understand Gladys perfectly. Why else do you think she plans on naming her child after me?

I'm quite adept at understanding women

Ah, the underage super-villian community makes it's contribution to this discussion.

The question young lady, and I use that term in it's loosest possible definition, is whether or not she was a willing participant in the actions which brought about her cravings. Not whether or not she has cravings as a result of her participation.

And any further translations you care to contribute should be done under oath so that perjury charges can be brought if necessary.

Grape Boy, you would do well to recall that you have no authority here.