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Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331637 04/05/09 06:47 PM
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Originally posted by Abin Quank:
If you want Pagan, then I'm assuming we're starting this from a B.E.A. standpoint... So...

Nick Shakespeare is the B.E.A. Diplomat sent to the [Dark Oval, Planet Mongo, Jungles of Amazonia] to negotiate the release of Alicia Quank (AKA Pagan Lass) who was captured while "Trespassing" on the [Royal Hunting Preserve, Castle Mongo Dungeons, Prison Planetoids] and is facing the death penalty for her "crimes."

Bob [Steel, Hardin, Thrash?] (aka Triple G) is Shakespeare's Aide, chosen for both his administrative efficiency and raw power in a pinch.

Shakespeare and Pagan Lass's powers are well known to the [Dark Oval, Mongols, Amazonians] but Triple G is the wild card...

Unfortunately the sneaky, underhanded, [Dark Oval, Mongols, Amazonians] double cross our intrepid heroes right off the bat and all three find themselves confined in a high tech dungeon...
I was picturing a "first meeting" with each other, with PL coming from [Legion World], Bob from the PCG, and Nick from BEA/ASTRA. We may have heard of each other, but not much, as I envisioned. I was picturing separate nabbings, with perhaps a mystery as well - who did it? PL might have a better clue than Nick or Bob, but not a complete one.

But your idea has merit. Nick on an overt, stated mission doesn't really fit my perception of BEA as a super-secret org, but the way you put it is an idea worth considering.

But... if Bob is my aide, and we're there to rescue PL, that kinda discards the three-competing-goals suggestion, as all three of us would more instantly be on the same 'side.'

That can work, but I hoped to have us fumbling around getting used to each other, and having internal conflict (what would Bob and I do if we found the exit but PL inssited on going back for Ranger? for instance).

Obviously, the villains will need to know/contain PL's powers, or else it'd be a short battle.

I like Bob being an unknown quantity.

Thinking more, I like that Nick could have been sent there (whether on an overt mission or even as a planned captive, feigning even to PL and Bob that he was taken unaware).

Your idea suggests a very action-oriented story all the way through, which is good if that's what we all want. I was thinking of a slow build up with character and mystery before we reach an action-y point. I'm flexible, though, as long as it isn't all action.


The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331638 04/05/09 06:49 PM
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Originally posted by Yk:
ha ha
well, YK's name is a derivative of William Randolph Hearst (Billy Randolphs) and Bob's was meant to be similar. I think it was Oral Roberts that I was making fun of. I refuse to call my character Oral Bob though..but as I recall that was the inference back in the day.
Gad, now I have to dig through the "Introduce yourself" thread and see what I originally wrote. You're making me work and think and that's not fair.
ZeTongue
Actually whatever name you gave him in the past doesn't matter. Just choose one that fits the portrayal you want now.

Certain things are going to need modification in all three of the characters. Pagan Lass's costume is supposed to be three strategically placed small sprigs of mistletoe... Nice idea when you're just describing it on a message board but doesn't work as a constant visual. Too distracting and places the focus in the wrong areas. I'm not against cheesecake or beefcake when the story calls for it but... again like the sexuality thing it should be a natural part of the story rather than a forced focus.


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Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331639 04/05/09 06:56 PM
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Originally posted by Abin Quank:
At some point we'll want to shift to either pm's or e-mails as we get into the nitty-gritty of character design, panel design, and dialogue but for right now we should stay here and give others the chance to chime in...

We're going to need artists (Sketch Lad?, Dean?, Joe Boy?) to assist Kent, and a colorist... (Loser, you lurking or do I have to PM you?)

And an Editor...
I definitely want to keep as much as possible out in the open as long as possible to encourage participation, possibly even into the character design phase (but not dialogue or panels. We want to surprise and entertain, after all).

Even non-artists can help on visuals, as we'll need to 'decorate' locations, starting with the prison/citadel/satellite/whatever-it-is.

Anyone with any interest in world-building or the dynamics of alien worlds (Fat Cramer, I'm talking to you!) can be more than helpful as well. Remember 80s Legion, how Giffen really made each alien world stand apart? This is a golden opportunity for all types of creativity: worlds, cuisine, tech/communications.


The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331640 04/05/09 06:58 PM
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I do like the idea of all these characters already knowing each other and being used to working together even though the readers don't know that yet.

Of course Bob has his own agenda, he's a businessman and there's an opportunity to open up to new customers if things go right. However he loves being a super-hero man of action and if things don't go the way he wanted that's ok, there may be a great fight to tell stories about later.

Still though, they could know of each other and be in the same large group but never have worked closely with one another. I'm sure we've all been in that position in the work place, it's not all that unusual. It works either way.

Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331641 04/05/09 07:02 PM
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Originally posted by Abin Quank:
Pagan Lass's costume is supposed to be three strategically placed small sprigs of mistletoe... Nice idea when you're just describing it on a message board but doesn't work as a constant visual. Too distracting and places the focus in the wrong areas. I'm not against cheesecake or beefcake when the story calls for it but... again like the sexuality thing it should be a natural part of the story rather than a forced focus.
Agreed. I've nothing against sexy women wearing very litle, but let's face it - that is very overdone, especially in comics. Clothing is sexy, and sexy clothing is fun to draw. And to make PL stand out as a sorceress, I'll need to make her look witchy, and appropriate garb is a big help there.

My take on Bob, in a nutshell: villain, as part of the PCG. Reformed. I'd like to place him at this point as still technically a villain, but more for the sake of adventure than malice, and ready to latch onto a worthy alternative.


The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331642 04/05/09 07:06 PM
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Originally posted by Yk:
I do like the idea of all these characters already knowing each other and being used to working together even though the readers don't know that yet.
Okay. I can go with that.

Quote
Originally posted by Yk:
Of course Bob has his own agenda, he's a businessman and there's an opportunity to open up to new customers if things go right. However he loves being a super-hero man of action and if things don't go the way he wanted that's ok, there may be a great fight to tell stories about later.
Ah. That presents a different option entirely. Perhaps Bob was trying to deal with the villains (whether or not he knew they were villains) and the deal went south... that's why he was captured?

Quote
Originally posted by Yk:
Still though, they could know of each other and be in the same large group but never have worked closely with one another. I'm sure we've all been in that position in the work place, it's not all that unusual. It works either way.
I like that. To me, if we're already a tight team, it robs the sense of team-building, which seems to me a good storytelling avenue to intro characters and grab new readers.

I'm reminded of Tinya and Vi in Levitz #50. Vi comments that she and Tinya were never really close; each had their own cliches despite serving together for so long.


The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331643 04/05/09 07:08 PM
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I'm thinking that ASTRA could be the covert arm of the BEA and Nick as head of the BEA is also one of the lead ASTRA Operatives.

There is plenty for internal conflict between the three. Nick wants to save Pagan's life/keep her from leveling the place and avoid a messy interstellar incident. Pagan just want's to rescue her brother-in-law and doesn't much give a flying fart about the political end of things, and Bob at the end of the day is a business man, and he agreed to this whole charade because he loves the super-hero daring-do and he loves it even more when he sees the chance to parlay a business opportunity out of it when all is said and done.


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Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331644 04/05/09 07:11 PM
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Originally posted by Abin Quank:
I'm thinking that ASTRA could be the covert arm of the BEA and Nick as head of the BEA is also one of the lead ASTRA Operatives.
Brilliant! I love it.

Originally posted by Abin Quank:
Quote
There is plenty for internal conflict between the three. Nick wants to save Pagan's life/keep her from leveling the place and avoid a messy interstellar incident. Pagan just want's to rescue her brother-in-law and doesn't much give a flying fart about the political end of things, and Bob at the end of the day is a business man, and he agreed to this whole charade because he loves the super-hero daring-do and he loves it even more when he sees the chance to parlay a business opportunity out of it when all is said and done.
I like that.


The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331645 04/05/09 07:14 PM
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I come out of this sounding so..mercenary..heh..

Being the transition story from villain to hero sounds extremely cool. It would be very easy to have the others not trust him much in the beginning since they'd fought each other in the recent past. The built in conflicts are beginning to take some kind of meaningful shape here.

edit: I want to add, that if you're joining in this a little late, there are a couple of previous pages where we chew up some groundwork and beat ideas around. We're deliberately NOT using your characters (yet) because they are your characters! We want everybody that wants to participate to throw in your own ideas and use your own characters to their best effect and of course you're the only one who knows what that may be.
Join in!
..please?..

Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331646 04/05/09 07:17 PM
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Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
Quote
Originally posted by Abin Quank:
[b]Pagan Lass's costume is supposed to be three strategically placed small sprigs of mistletoe... Nice idea when you're just describing it on a message board but doesn't work as a constant visual. Too distracting and places the focus in the wrong areas. I'm not against cheesecake or beefcake when the story calls for it but... again like the sexuality thing it should be a natural part of the story rather than a forced focus.
Agreed. I've nothing against sexy women wearing very litle, but let's face it - that is very overdone, especially in comics. Clothing is sexy, and sexy clothing is fun to draw. And to make PL stand out as a sorceress, I'll need to make her look witchy, and appropriate garb is a big help there.

My take on Bob, in a nutshell: villain, as part of the PCG. Reformed. I'd like to place him at this point as still technically a villain, but more for the sake of adventure than malice, and ready to latch onto a worthy alternative. [/b]
I think I need to know just what you mean by "witchy"... My take on Pagan's appearance is closer to Ms Tree than Cyclone...


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Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331647 04/05/09 07:18 PM
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The villains: PL wants to kick butt. Bob wants their monery. Nick wants to keep them neutral within the context of a larger conflict.

Ranger: PL wants to free him. Nick respects him, but is torn that Ranger was nabbed while spying on the villains' world (or chasing a foe there outside of his jurisdiction, without permission)? Bob may not dislike Ranger, but might not be inclined to stick his neck out - maybe Ranger once busted him in the olden days.

I'd rather Ranger was the original prisoner, the one announced to be executed, than PL.


The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331648 04/05/09 07:21 PM
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Originally posted by Abin Quank:
[QUOTE]I think I need to know just what you mean by "witchy"... My take on Pagan's appearance is closer to Ms Tree than Cyclone...
That's good to know. I'd have never guessed that (I was thinking more early-80s Stevie Nicks, actually).


The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331649 04/05/09 07:21 PM
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Originally posted by Yk:
I come out of this sounding so..mercenary..heh..

Being the transition story from villain to hero sounds extremely cool. It would be very easy to have the others not trust him much in the beginning since they'd fought each other in the recent past. The built in conflicts are beginning to take some kind of meaningful shape here.
Then this mission could be not entirely voluntary for him...

Perhaps he made a deal with the current LMBP Leadership in exchange for [early release? trade rights? Franchise Licenses?]


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Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331650 04/05/09 07:23 PM
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I was thinking exactly that a little while ago. This could be something like "community service" for 3G.

Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331651 04/05/09 07:27 PM
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Originally posted by Abin Quank:
Quote
Originally posted by Yk:
[b] I come out of this sounding so..mercenary..heh..

Being the transition story from villain to hero sounds extremely cool. It would be very easy to have the others not trust him much in the beginning since they'd fought each other in the recent past. The built in conflicts are beginning to take some kind of meaningful shape here.
Then this mission could be not entirely voluntary for him...

Perhaps he made a deal with the current LMBP Leadership in exchange for [early release? trade rights? Franchise Licenses?][/b]
Good thoughts. We know Nick is there for the BEA. We know PL is there for family business... is she there with the consent of LW leaders, or in spite of them? Bob could be there superfically to do business, but could be secretly employed by a LW elder acting on his/her own to try to give PL some covert aid... and he could be intending to do the bare minimum required of him.


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Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331652 04/05/09 07:33 PM
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Sweet. The opening is taking shape. Not panel by panel but the cause and effect aspects are shaping up nicely.

Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331653 04/05/09 07:33 PM
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Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
The villains: PL wants to kick butt. Bob wants their monery. Nick wants to keep them neutral within the context of a larger conflict.

Ranger: PL wants to free him. Nick respects him, but is torn that Ranger was nabbed while spying on the villains' world (or chasing a foe there outside of his jurisdiction, without permission)? Bob may not dislike Ranger, but might not be inclined to stick his neck out - maybe Ranger once busted him in the olden days.

I'd rather Ranger was the original prisoner, the one announced to be executed, than PL.
Scenario 1, Ranger went in where he shouldn't have and was captured, the bad guys aren't admitting they have him, Pagan tracked him via arcane means and decided that she wasn't playing political games and went in covertly, but the bad guys were ready for any member of the Quank Family and captured her (but not before she leveled a good portion of {????}). There was no hiding what happened so they decided to give her a show trial and hang her.

The LMBP needs to tread lightly because the {????} are currently Neutral in the conflict with [?????] and we need them to stay that way.

Nick was sent in to (1)diplomatically get Pagan released and (2)find out if Ranger is really being held by [????]. Bob is along both as added muscle if Nick needs him and to explore trade possibilities in a few sensitive areas.

Scenario 2, the same except that it's Ranger who is being given the show trial and Nick/Bob are there to gain his release. Pagan shows up on her own and complicates things...


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Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331654 04/05/09 07:39 PM
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I have some ideas on the villains, but it seemed unwise to put that 'out front,' if we want to maintain any suspense at all.


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Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331655 04/05/09 07:45 PM
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I like either scenario, especially the first.

But Bob could be a separate agent, sent from [LW]. Nick may be an occassional [LW] resident, but the BEA/ASTRA operates on a [UP] basis of which [LW] is but a single member. I like Bob and Nick to be from competing jurisdictions, as it helps to support differing motives, as they were given different orders (in addition to having different interpretations of those orders).


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Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331656 04/05/09 07:51 PM
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As EDG would say "It's like Legion World, Strange stuff happens..."

The BEA/ASTRA orders could have come from the duly elected LMBP Leader Lardy/cleome while Bob's orders came from the Security Office...

No surprise if those instructions were wildly different...


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Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331657 04/05/09 07:51 PM
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Nick was sent in to (1)diplomatically get Pagan released and (2)find out if Ranger is really being held by [????]. Bob is along both as added muscle if Nick needs him and to explore trade possibilities in a few sensitive areas.
I like it. Bob can be there for business (on the surface) and the two don't even have to acknowledge that they know each other for the first part of the tale.

Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331658 04/05/09 07:55 PM
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Okay... I can buy both of those. Bureaucratic snafu... we might not even accept each others' roles right away: Bob might assume Nick is just a geeky envoy trying to play spy (instead of a spy posing as a geeky envoy), and Nick could assume Bob is a semi-treasonous slimy snake-oil salesman.


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Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331659 04/05/09 07:57 PM
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Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
Quote
Originally posted by Abin Quank:
[b][QUOTE]I think I need to know just what you mean by "witchy"... My take on Pagan's appearance is closer to Ms Tree than Cyclone...
That's good to know. I'd have never guessed that (I was thinking more early-80s Stevie Nicks, actually). [/b]
It's a good thing I went back and reread the thread. I missed this the first time.

80's Stevie Nicks means nothing to me. If anything it brings the current DC Black Alice to mind and I doubt that you had anything like that in mind...


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Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331660 04/05/09 08:01 PM
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Re: semi-official LMB Comic writing thread! - now with added crunch -
#331661 04/05/09 08:02 PM
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Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare:
Okay... I can buy both of those. Bureaucratic snafu... we might not even accept each others' roles right away: Bob might assume Nick is just a geeky envoy trying to play spy (instead of a spy posing as a geeky envoy), and Nick could assume Bob is a semi-treasonous slimy snake-oil salesman.
And Pagan is convinced that at any moment Abin is going to fly in leading a horde of pissed off LMBPers intent on rescuing her and the Ranger.


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