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 Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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**HISS**
No NOT That Alarm! That Alarm Can't be going OFF!
What Happened!
(enters tesseract a few feet from where Future, Ranger, and Miner were standing)
It's Gone!
(Leaps out of tesseract, every hair on his body standing on end!)
****HISSSSSSSS****
When you're in Danger or in Trouble I will be there on the Double.
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 34,634
Bold Flavors
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Bold Flavors
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<Hears terresact alarm, bursts into terrasact>
What the hell? What's going on here? Is Ranger here?
Where'd Stoopid Cat go? I've been down here before, but it's such a big system to explore. Who knows what Stoopid Cat has down here? Good thing he gave me a device to hear the alarm with...
<trips, spills high-ball drink>
DAMMIT! Now I'm really mad! What the hell is going on here?!
*Sigh* I guess I'll wander around and try to find someone...or some gin...
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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Joined: Aug 2003
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Wanderer
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Wanderer
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SHAKES tesseract beverage service for your pleasure. One gin coming right up, Cobie.
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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Joined: Sep 2003
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Bold Flavors
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I love Legion World.
Thanks Semi! Now the search can continue!
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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<A blast of frigid artic air swirls through the tesseracts and dumps a frozen ball of fur next to a man sized statue>
When you're in Danger or in Trouble I will be there on the Double.
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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Joined: Apr 2005
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Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Apr 2005
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Hey Stoopid cat, i brought you your catnip to make you stoopider. I've got to go before the search party gets here.
<opens the evil genius door, and exits tesseract>
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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Joined: Sep 2003
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<walks up to statue>
Great, magic. I hate magic.
Maybe these magic healing/spirtiual powers (which I barely understand) can be of some use.
Or do you think something horrible will happen, if we start fiddling with the magic of Bast...
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 5,074
Wanderer
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Wanderer
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<Tamper's catnip glows and merges into the frozen form of stoopid cat>
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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<notices residue of Tamper Lad's appearance>
Mm-hm.
<uses Security chip in head technology to pinpoint, with accuracy, the last known Legion World resident to be on the scene of the crime>
Tamper Lad. Evil geniuses can be quite useful, but I think we'll need another on him...
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,619
Deputy
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Deputy
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Cobalt, look at that statue, is that a statue of Hrun the Barbarian?
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(or is it... Nah, can't be... )
Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Just as soon as the Check Clears!)
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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Joined: Sep 2003
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Hm, I think you're right! I remember Stoopid Cat having something like that stolen...
I say we leave it. Last thing we need is for the Security Office to be involved in the Hrun/Stoopid Cat grudge.
Ranger, you think your 'heat vision' could melt this ice and free him?
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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When you're in Danger or in Trouble I will be there on the Double.
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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Joined: Sep 2003
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SC?
Hm, I think he's waking up...
<uses healing powers to bring Stoopid Cat back to full health. Lays out bowl of fresh cream>
Maybe this will help...
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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**Meow**
<looks around nervously>
Is she here? Tell her I didn't mean to do that.
<Sniffs cream, tastes it>
**Meow**
When you're in Danger or in Trouble I will be there on the Double.
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 5,452
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Jun 2005
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Oh poor SC...*strokes fur gently*
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 5,074
Wanderer
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Wanderer
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<Genius door opens, Tamper emerges. Provides stoopid cat with more catnip. Exits via genius door.>
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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**Purr**
<Cats love attention>
**Purr**
When you're in Danger or in Trouble I will be there on the Double.
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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Bold Flavors
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A mission accomplished! Glad to be of service, Stoopid Cat. <pets SC>
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 5,452
Wanderer
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Wanderer
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...Being careful not to shove LAM out the way while doing it...
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 5,074
Wanderer
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Wanderer
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<A gateway from the SUDL opens depositing a special cargo to the tesseract system.>
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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<Deep inside the tesseracts Pagan Lass settles into a lotus position in front of a small pond. The water in the scrying pool clouded at her touch and then cleared to show a scene from many centuries ago>
It was a hot, wet, cold, and dusty morning as the sun set behind the far off mountains as it usually did that time of year. In later centuries the sun would change it’s habits and set in the evening instead of the morning but unfortunately this story occurred during an era when the Almost Sun God, Pre-Ra and the Almost Moon God, Pre-Khons were experimenting with how days should work. They didn’t have it quite right yet. In fact only two of the Pre-Egyptian Deities had their acts down pat during this era; Rota-Pelvis the Music God of Memphis and Bast the Goddess of Cats.
The Pre-Egyptian Music Gods Rota-Pelvis and the Vulva-Seekers had retired to Pre-Memphis along the banks of the Soon to be Nile River, leaving in their wake a pair of blue suede sandals and thousands of broken hearted Pre-Egyptian teenage girls clutching empty Eskimo Pie wrappers (Eskimo Pies were invented by the Pre-Egyptian God Rota-Pelvis and were the original “Food of the Gods”, Ambrosia replaced them many centuries later only to be displaced again when Rota-Pelvis was reincarnated). Life in the small village of Not-Named-Yet was slowly returning to pre-normality after the dramatic ending of the festival of the Music God. The final number of the festival, that enormously popular Pre-Egyptian Love Song, “Blue Suede Camel Hotel Heartbreak” left the audience in awe, several Pre-Groupies and Almost-Camels pregnant, and Numb-Nuts the Semi-Incomprehensible with Pre-Excedrin Headache Number (-23)
Into all of this rode the Pre-Pharaoh’s entourage. Abu Nabu Bejabu, despite the way his name sounds, was a wise and just ruler. This actually means, when you consider the era in which he ruled, that he traveled with a large number of burly guard type individuals who took great pride in their skills with the “Long Knife” and practiced them often. Usually on members of the Pre-Egyptian general populace who happened to annoy the Pre-Pharaoh by existing. He was also wise enough to time his arrival in the area of Not-Named-Yet so that he and his entourage would miss the dramatic ending of the festival of the Music God, thereby sparing himself a major headache and the lives of many festival goers. Little things like that count for a lot when one wants to be known as a wise and just ruler.
NNtSI, lived in a large Tetrahedron on the edge of Not-Named-Yet due to the fact that pyramids hadn’t been invented yet. It was a lonely and thankless existence for the Master Sorcerer, considering that with the exception of half a google of young and nubile slaves he and his apprentice STUGerbil were entirely alone. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Pre-Egyptian numerical system a google is equal to two hands plus two feet time two hands plus two feet or considering the number of people who were missing various digits could be anywhere from one to one hundred. In this case it was 120. Master Sorcerers can do that.
/ / ( . )Y( . ) \ \
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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STUGerbil stood next to the Master Sorcerer, Numb-Nuts the Semi Incomprehensible, and watched as the Pre Pharaoh’s entourage arrived outside the massive tetrahedron. (Okay, admit it, you all knew that a pyramid is a tetrahedron, but a tetrahedron isn’t necessarily a pyramid, didn’t you?) Behind them the massive multi colored thing of Pre-Egypt, (which in an untold story that hadn’t happened yet, but will happen later but might never be told, because this is just so confusing, left the earth and mutated into the massive multi colored thing of Ekron) pulsed a blinding warning. Luckily they were both wearing their cool shades which oddly enough had been imported from Pre-Legion World by an ancestor of Pre-Cobalt Kid, who sold cool things out of the Secret Trophy Cave Hideout located in a secret location on the other side of Not-Named-Yet.
Unfortunately for our heroes, which happen to be STUGerbil and Numb-Nuts the Semi-Incomprehensible in case anyone is confused, while polarizing lenses hadn’t been invented yet polarizing actions had. And the actions being taken outside the pyramid shaped tetrahedron by the wise and just Pre-Pharaoh’s full google (in this case 76, but I have no idea why) of burly guard type individuals who took great pride in their skills with the “Long Knife” and practiced them often, could definitely be considered Polarizing.
Polarizing because they immediately began lining up siege engines and preparing to assault the tetrahedron. Polarizing because all 76 of the large burly guard type individuals drew their “Long Knives” in a single well practiced motion. Polarizing because the Pre-Pharaoh strode to the front of his troops and unleashed the single most feared engine of destruction in the entire arsenal of the Pre-Egyptian army, Stoopid Cat!
/ / ( . )Y( . ) \ \
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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“I thought you said they were coming for peaceful negotiations?” STUGerbil commented as he observed the actions of the rapidly deploying forces.
= 556; = = 550; , answered NNtSI, Which once again both 556; amazed STUGerbil with his mastery of spoken hieroglyphics and at the same time irritated him with the name, Grasshopper.
Just perhaps, STUGerbil was spared any further embarrassment by the movements outside, because as he was about to mention to NNtSI that he was not a geeky white dude pretending to be a Shao-Lin Monk, a movement caught his eye.
“Look, Master, The cat is approaching the walls. Should we do something?”
= = 541; 537; = = 537; = 588; 472;
STUGerbil paused and looked down at his gerbil body – The greatest rodent catcher in the world? Still it was just a cat and he was a vaguely powerful wizard. He could handle any cat.
= 550; = = 551; = 556; 537;
But before STUGerbil could think about the knowledge his master had imparted to him, Stoopid Cat was there. A paw half the size of STUGerbil’s body lashed out and…
It’s not easy (or safe) to surprise a Master Sorcerer; unless, of course, you happen to be a Goddess.
Bast, the Pre-Egyptian Goddess of Cats, did not fear the wrath of Numb-Nuts the Semi-Incomprehensible. She materialized inside the tetrahedron astride a Numedian Lion just as he was launching a bolt of Mystic Energy designed to vaporize Stoopid Cat on the spot.
/ / ( . )Y( . ) \ \
What can I DO for you?
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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quote:
** Eddie Tor’s Note **
“look fer easy of readin’, da Master Sorcerer’s woids will now be translaterid from speakin Heiroglyps ta plain ol engrish. Dis is because dere’s nobody ta gives youse guys da idea o’ wot he’s sayin’. An’ also because da stupid MB transliterates da wingding tings dat should appears inta little squares an’ funky like nummers. Okay?
** Eddie Tor’s Note Over Wit **
/ / ( . )Y( . ) \ \
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Re: Inside the Legion World Tesseract System
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“Hold, Master Sorcerer!” She cried, as soon as her vocal cords appeared in this universe. She assumed that he would know what to hold when she cried that. Pre-Egyptian Goddesses were big on assumptions that mere mortals would know just what they were talking about. And she was intentionally vague because she would have found it highly amusing if he had grabbed his neither regions (Which of course assumes that master sorcerers have neither regions). Pre-Egyptian Goddesses were also very big on amusing themselves but since batteries hadn’t been invented yet their methods were quite crude.
Luckily he held the appropriate thing, which of course assumes that you all know what the appropriate thing is, or was, or will be; but anyway, he held it and it was the right choice.
Now for anyone other than a Master Sorcerer stopping a Mystic Energy bolt once it had been gathered and readied for launch would be a nearly impossible task. But since NNtSI was indeed a Master Sorcerer, he simply pulled it down and put it into his pocket. Which is far easier said than done. I mean just think about it. Would you walk around all day with a mystic energy bolt primed and ready to go off in your pocket, right next to your neither region? Which assumes of course that you have a neither region, you do don’t you?
“Why do you intervene, Goddess?” He asked, ignoring what he had just done. “What is that Stoopid Cat to you?”
For a split eon, Bast stared at the Master Sorcerer, dumbfounded by what she had just witnessed. It should be noted at this point that while Bast’s primary mission was to save Stoopid cat from total destruction, she had a secondary purpose in visiting the Master Sorcerer. At the time she was the only fully formed god or goddess in the Pre-Egyptian Pantheon. That means that she was the only one with 100% fully functional parts, get the picture? Well, anyway when the Master Sorcerer tucked that bolt into his pocket she almost fainted.
“One of my favored creatures…” She replied as she reached down between her legs and began slowly stroking the mane of her lion. The man’s sheer confidence in his abilities amazed her and she began to wonder if he was that confident about everything he did. With difficulty, she forced her attention back to his face and slowly let her hand drift upwards from her lion’s mane.
“Stoopid Cat is destined to…” A slight smile crossed her face as she stopped speaking for a moment. Her hand drifted up to her left shoulder where a single brooch held her robe-like garment in place. “Perhaps it would be better if I simply showed you.” A single motion disconnected the cat shaped brooch and her robe fell away revealing…
/ / ( . )Y( . ) \ \
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