Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board The Mainframe of the Reboot

*whack*whack*

That's my sane side. My Mad side is currently chasing Faraway Lad

Besides, with great rights come great responsibilites

Figures you'd pull a "Duo Dude". Next thing you know both of you are going to be chasing after.

I was thinking more Hulk than Triad

Although I'd chase Lu any day

In the command deck of most Legion Worlds, Triad is busy coordinating systems and events.

In the command building of our Legion World, Triad is busy running from lusting fans (though she still reminds us of important events...like Carggaphile's recent birthday)!

To my most honored and noble aristocratic brothers of Legion World,

I would like to make the following points, and in the hopes of keeping it as brief as possible I have made it in the format of bullet points:

-We must make a distiction between the motives of Glorith, a possible usurper, and the motives of Faraway Lad, who possesses, and therefore cannot help but use, those charms that I also frequently use on young lusty females.

-I believe that the conduct of Faraway Lad, a most honored and revered LMBer and LWer, has exemplified the fine standard that we of Leigon World have come to expect. This should be noted in whatever happens, that my loyal brother has proven, through his conduct, that he is a man of honor.

-I do not, and never will, believe that the sexual relations of any man or woman can be equitable to treason or compromising security. As Chief of Security, a position that I hold for life, I can see sexual relations as nothing more than "wetting the whistle" as they say.

-In my role as Security Chief, I will ensure that the Legions of Faraway Lad are accomadated for, and that no resulting chaos will ensure.

-In my role as Triumvir, I have alerted my armies to this small, but possibly large, problem facing Legion World, and have asked for the opinions of my head generals on matters of the army entering our cities. I hope it does not come to that.

Long live liberty.

Cobalt Kid
Chief of Security
Triumvir

Most noble and honored Triumvir.

I Legate Dardanus of the Britania Legion wish once more to thank you for you offer of brotherhood and more importantly provisions. I was concerned that my hungry troops may have viewed the fires and warmth of Legion World as a temptation and would have paid unauthorized visits to some of the facilities. Your many gifts of fine weapons and armour reflect well upon your generous sprit.

Yet thanks to your intervention my well fed and trained Legion stands ready to march once again with yours to gain honor, booty and slaves. I have moved most of my troops to a suitable marching point. Should you require personal asistance I can release 3,000 naked female archers to cover your flanks.

A number of posters have already requested protection from the armies of the Triumvirate. As a precaution I have placed 12 of my finest Varengian Guard spearmen in Varelents private quarters.

Should any other poster require similar honors I shall be delighted to oblige.

I must say these Varengian Guard spearmen are quite disciplined, have enourmous stamina, and are fervent in their desire to guard my body! It's truly impressive to see them eagerly stand there with their spears, at rigid attention for as long as it takes to satisfy my whims!

Thank you for assigning them to my detail, Legate Dardanus. I am most appreciative.

Based upon Cobalt's recommendations, I'm certainly willing to drop charges, if:

1. Faraway Lad clarifies his intentions regarding his fraternization with an avowed would-be usurper, and puts forward a meaningful guarantee that Legion World will not be compromised;

2. Our fearless leader agrees, and

3. Faraway Lad agrees to a probationary period inclusive of any stipulations Cobalt or our leader may impose.

My dear Director. Thank you for your kind offer to try to end the current difficult impasse.

Although I am unable to fully comment on your proposed conciliatory gesture until my legal team have had a chance to examine the proposals in detail, I am, in a similar sprit of co operation and mediation, prepared to make the following comments. They are of course made “off the record” and “without prejudice” to any final settlement we may reach.



Your first point is perhaps the least contentious of all and I can give here and now a categorical assurance that I have never in the past, nor will I ever in the future, willingly do anything to compromise the safety and security of the inhabitants of Legion World. My intentions towards Glorith were and are honourable. As a trained Ambassador of many years standing with particular expertise in dealing with female Monarchs, I felt that I was uniquely placed to meet with and discuss diplomatic matters with this autocratic Monarch. I was of course encouraged in this view by the secret protocols agreed with head of security Cobalt Kid during the administration of previous leader Stu Rat. Unfortunately state security prohibits me from going into too many details of my probing of Glorith and I will have to refer the most noble Director to the Head of Security for authority to disclose information of a sensitive nature.



Your second point is of course most moot and I look forward to receiving some indication of the Leaders inclination in this matter at your earliest convenience.



I do not think a period of probation is appropriate. I have many years of exemplary service to the inhabitants of Legion World and my abilities are recognized by all.

As Ambassador and Legate of the Britannia Legion I am of course happy to place myself and my Legion under the command of security chief and Triumvir Cobalt. His lawful instructions will be followed to the letter by me and those warbands loyal to me.

Ummm...Point of Clarification or Personal Priviledge! Am I correct that this does not include the Varengian Spearman? They stay under me...I mean, my command, right?

My Dear Varalent I am delighted that you have been spending so much time keeping on top of my Varangians. The drilling you have been giving them is really starting to show and I have never seen such highly polished helmets.

However, these men are part of a unit which is integral to the fighting efficiency of my left wing. I am concerned that they do not become merely a ceremonial unit but maintain the thrusting aggression for which they are justly famed. To this end I would like to propose that we instigate a rotation system which will see 12 new Varangians arrive to replace the existing team every month? Would that be acceptable to you?

These Varangians were offered both as a symbol of my esteem, to honour you and as personal protection in a time of much uncertainty as various armies mass on the borders of Legion World during my current and unfortunate dispute with the leadership. As such they will of course remain with you, and available to do your bidding, for as long as need be.

Esteemed Legate Dardenus:

You suggestion for a rotation schedule seems very appropriate. I, too, wish to insure that the Varangian Spearman keep their thrusting skills finely tuned.

I look forward to inspecting and drilling a new squad of twelve at the start of every month for as long as you see fit to leave them assigned to my care.

I don't know V. It's your business but it's my understanding that these Varengian Guard spearmen shrink terribly after use and if not wearing special latex raincoats can transmit all kinds of petulance.

Might I suggest you bargain for nubile, uh, I mean new trainies only? As I said, it's your biz. Just trying to help out with what the walls have heard.

*Posts on wall near the front door*


Help Wanted: Receptionist

Must fit in with office decor, answer phones, greet clients, and other tasks.

Position requires flexability.

Apply at Quislette's Super Law Firm of Space

Quislette, I'm certain that our esteemed friend Legate Dardenus Faraway would be happy to offer you a contingent of Varengian Spearman as well. Perhaps one of them is properly trained and can satisfy your staff needs.

OOOOO a spearman!!!!!

Would you be willing to train him? Give him a few pointers as it were.

Why, it would be my pleasure, as it were!

My dear Quislette

As my lawyer I was a little nervous of offering you a similar honour in case it was seen as somehow inappropriate. However if you are sure it is all above board then I can arrange for a second detachment of Varangians to be sent over to your office. As with V they will be under you, your command that is, and will take full responsibility for your safety should Legion World suffer any attack.

With honour and respect.

Legate Dardanus.

Ps surely you were a man last time we met?

Faraway Lad,

It is that nasty gender reversal germ. I seem to have picked it up somewhere. I consulted with Dr. Gym'll and he prescribed a method for working the bug out of my system.

It would be sweet of you to send one spearman to work in my office. I like to keep the office diverse, so I think I'll pick the other receptionists from other walks of life. Plus the office is too small to handle a whole detachment.

Quislette, Esq. and others-

The Security Office is working overtime to rid Legion World of the gender-reversal germs that have been illegally smuggled into the city. While most of it has been conviscated, there is still some at large.

-Cobalt Kid
Chief of Security

mmmmmmmm, that name rings a bell? Must return to hut to check something

Methinks I smell a rat....

See my 'Why' post.

Rats' Mmmmmmmm. good eating on a rat.

Oh dear, whatever shall happen when Stu shows up again.

STU might need an entourage from now on around the Mission Monitor Board.

Hrun, as a rat connoisseur, I think you and Stoopid Cat or Jinx may get along just fine.