Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Lardy's Lair

Lonestar, you stinking pile of excrement! You don't know me very well if you think I'll respond to your blackmail!

I owe you NOTHING! The debt has been paid in full with my sponsoring you for residence on Legion World, and don't you forget it! Don't PUSH me!!!

I'll do everything I can to protect Cali from your slimy, rotten fingers! She's too special to be victimized by a loathsome bottom-feeder such a yourself!

Watch yourself!

Enjoyed the porn biscuits? Excellent!

Now, for your entertainment...check out: "The Best of Lard Lad and His Amazing Chubby!"--a collection of all my best scenes from the vast library of adult videos I starred in!

Enjoy!

--and don't forget to vote for Cali!

Haha, so glad you tossed in that last bit. I'd be worried if you didn't...

[munching popcorn] What? Oh! There's a clip from the film I did with all those actresses posing as LMB ladies--there's Space Tart, Crujectra, Shady and...uh, Cali?

[his eyes are glued to screen]

Wow! She sure inspired me, huh?

[blushes]

Uh, if Cali, inspires you...make sure you give her your vote!

[rewinds clip]

Let's not forget my campaign!

<sees the video on repeat>

Uhh, Lardy..? What's that?

Uh, just some.....artistic films.

[turns off]

So, Cali...I've gotten a lot of people to pledge their vote for you...

[shows signatures]

..wanna grab a coffee at Cramer's or something?

Artistic? Riiiight. Signatures look good, at least.

Sorry, Lardy, I got me a standing date with my hubby. (For as long as I can keep him anyway. Damn you, Space Ranger! *inner-sob*) We'll do lunch or something tomorrow. *pats*

<watching>

Disgusting. You bumbling fool. At least you may succeed in getting Caliente elected Legion Leader to make it all the easier to destroy the Legion once I make her my wife.

Ha! You may have repaid your debt without even knowing!

<walks off grinning>

Hm?

<wristwatch beeps>

Ah-ha!

Excuse me, Cali. Enjoy...your date.

<goes to the Lair's computer hub>

After that Lonestar bastard came here last week, I programmed my security system to alert me if he returns and to record everything he says and does...

<searches...>

Looks like he was only here for a moment...let's turn on the sound...

His wife? What the hell's going on?

<thinks>

Crap, Cali'd never fall for that piece of excrement--he's blackmailing her or something! Probably using his connection with Concord and Frio to manipulate her!

She's been so sad since shortly after her marriage...I thought that might have been an opening for me. But it's his doing--I know it!

I'm not exploiting this for my own ends...I'm gonna free her from Lonestar's slimy paws...even if it assures her happiness with Actor Lad.

I love her so much...I do...and I won't let her suffer another moment!

pop

Hmmmm... I wonder if the Lard Force has some kind of "high speed grief counseling" aspect. It seems like only yesterday that Lard Lard was mourning his wife.

[OOC: well, if you read "Smoke and Mirrors", Jeckie, it was shown that Lardy buried his grief and moved in some questionable directions. Lardy couldn't deal with Dru's death, so he's not. I think subliminally, Lardy probably is trying to replace Dru with Cali, so the hurt he's trying to bury will completely go away--in his mind, anyway...]

[OOC: Oh, I know that (I did read SaM)... that was just a Crujectra "in character" comment. She's still very suspicious of Lardy's behavior, and is far from trusting him at this point.]

[OOC: Thought so! But it was fun to explain Lardy's motivations, anyway! ]

Caliente, we need to talk...

Hmm... She's not here? Maybe the Security Office?

Oooh, man talk, and even the superior women are participating in it. How absurd. I don't belong here.

<arrives, looks around>

Hmmm...interesting place I had. Doesn't bring back any memories, though.

<finds transponder>

When Gary visited me, he left a special encryption I could use if I ever needed to contact him...

<sends encrypted message>

Alright, Gary, I hope you'll get this and meet me here soon....

Okay, I'm here Lard Lad.

What's on your mind?

Gary, thanks for responding to my message.

Look, I still don't remember anything, but I've been researching Cobalt Creep to try to understand why I have such an inate negative reaction to my supposed "best friend". Well, I found a lot, especially surrounding that 'Slim' guy who was out to get Cobalt. While I don't condone Slim's methods, I found it odd that no one ever even looked into Cobalt's culpability in that planet's destruction. It seems to me, that at the very least, he's indirectly responsible for what happened there, if not moreso. It seems that no one even has had the guts to even try!

It seems to me this needs looking into...and I had a feeling you might be willing to help somehow.

What do you think?

Hmmm... I have no idea what happened to Slim after the "Five Faces of Death" fiasco but it's a good bet that he hasn't given up on getting his revenge on Cobalt.

You do realize that if we do re-open this and start poking around, everybody, and I do mean Everybody will be against us, including people who would normally be on our side. Nobody is going to want us uncovering what happened on some inconsequential border world.

Yes, I realize this, Gary. But if I'm involved--Cobalt's best friend (albeit an amnesiac one) and a founding LMBer--it gives us some credibility that you would not have by yourself. And I wouldn't be surprised, based on my research, if more people than you'd think would help us out. Even if they're not anti-Cobalt, per se, there would be a few, I think, who would be interested in seeing justice served. Maybe even the LMB's current leadership?

The bottom line, Gary, is I know what we're up against--and I'm in!

Are you?

There are two conditions you'll have to meet if you want me in.

The fist is; No matter what we discover, I don't care if we find out that Cobalt personally ordered the rape and distruction of Slim's home planet, Cobalt does not get turned over to Slim. Any handing out of "Justice" will be done according to the laws of Legion World and the LMBP.

And the second is... Something else else Personal... Forget it, I'm in.

But I think we're going to meet far more resistance than you think.

Agreed, Gary. I'm not interested in that kind of justice. Though, if it comes to it, we may have to involve the U.P.--or some neutral body, perhaps, if there's no one willing to try him in an unbiased manner.

And whatever the condition you dropped was...I hope it doesn't interfere with what we're doing.

Like I said, I'm in it all the way. No matter what.

As for where to start, I was thinking...well, don't you think we have to find Slim to start this and get his testimony?

Finding Slim isn't all that difficult, I hear that "Club Cobalt in Chains" has been rebuilt and is still a popular nightclub in certain social circles. You won't exactly be welcome there and people who aren't welcome there have a habit of becoming dead if they show up there.

And even if we get in and get him to talk freely, I doubt his testimony will be accepted at face value. We'll need additional evidence.

Well, should he at least be the starting point? Or should we try to get a few others in with us before we start??

Both. Slim is the starting point but going into that lion's den without adequate backup would be suicidal.

You get us some back-up. I'll see what I can do about getting us in to see him.