Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board UMBER's Fashion Tips for Jocks and Gay Boyz and like, unfashionable girlz

First of all... DON'T wear ugly stuff! This is like, SUCH an important rule of fashion that many, many MANY people just don't seem to get, like, y'know? *pitying coo* Makes me wonder if they have like BRAIN damage or something?

Okay, and this is TOTALLY important: don't be afraid of fashion. Fashion is your friend. Fashion isn't going to be like all the other JEALOUS girls that aren't popular and try to stab you in the back by spreading rumours that you like, did the WHOLE football team when in reality you've only done 2 of them and attempted a third but it turned out he was like GAY and all. *chirp of emphasis*

Another important tip: KNOW when baggy clothes are appropriate and when something TIGHT is needed instead. When you like learn to know these situations in advance you will learn to skip eating the day you have to wear something tight and then you won't be looking like a bloated beached space-creature and all the fat girlz at the party will be jealous of you and spread mean rumours.

UMBER's Tint Tip of the day--

RARELY is Mustard Yellow appropriate for funerals.

You know, Umber - you have a lot of Athramite in you. Sense-wise, not looks.

Do you think a dark Dijon mustard color would be okay for summer funerals?

No fashion tips for me?

Are you talking about those bug-things that used to dress the Legion? Well I've been told that I was "cute as a bug" before, usually by some old dude in his, like, 40s. I never knew if that should insult me or not, y'know? *coo of confusion*


Dark Dijon Mustard yellow for a summer funeral? I don't like advise it and all. I've always thought that avoiding the Primary Colors (and like variants therof including Periwinkle Blue, Scarlet Red etc.) is the safest best when attending a summer funeral. You, like, don't want to clash with all the flowers and stuff.

If you have a funeral to like attend this summer, I would avise something like a skintight tie-Dyed dress to liven the occasion up. This will also give the other guests something to look at instead of the icky dead dude. *chirp of emphasis*

Well, like, the reason I haven't like said anything yet is because I'm not sure if you're wanting to achieve the jock boy or gay boy look. That outfit in your current avatar is, like, all OVER the place, y'know? *matter-of-fact chirp*

But I CAN advise some skin treatments. Your complexion has been looking a little... off.

How about you present suggestions for both the gay boy and jock boy makeovers, and I can decide which I want to go with!

And besides, many times, the jock boy and the gay boy look coincide!!!

and if we're lucky the jock boy and gay boy coincide themselves... *dreamy sigh*

Hey Umber! What do you think of my new outfit? Had it made for my "Coming Out" Party here at Legion World!



V

Thanks for the fashion advice, Umber - but skin tight doesn't work on me. I'm more in the "relaxed fit" set. Still, the color tips are really useful.

Maybe you could take over the late night radio slot left by Nardo? Probably a lot of people here would have fashion questions.

VERY true, so it's like, skipping 2 birds with 1 stone!

So. The thing to remember for a successful jock boy or gay boy look is names, names, names. And NOT Sears Brand or Arizona either. *derisive snort*

The successful jock or gay look will contain equal parts of the following: Tommy Hilfiger, Adidas, Nike, Reebok, Abercrombie & Fitch.

T-shirts are good, preferably with one of the previously-mentioned logos on prominent display. Khaki shorts with lots of pockets are good. If you have hair, a sun visor is ultra-trendy. No (or bad) hair? A ball cap is a must (Eryk, you're like already scoring in this department... sorta). And sandals. If you have nice square-shaped toes, open-toed. For roundish or ugly toes, a closed-toe sandal is recommended! *chirp of emphasis*

And remember these important words: NO SHOULDER PADS!

What about a football jersey across my-- I mean, someone's strong, strapping chest?

*squeal of delight!* Stu! It's so NICE to see a like, guy take an interest in fashion and whatnot!

Now, on the subject of football jerseys. These are an adequate substitute for like Sports-label T-Shirts as long as you keep the pocket-short khakis and sandals in the ensemble!

FASHION WARNING

ONLY jock boyz or gay boyz should attempt the football jersey substitution dealey. Anyone else would look ridiculous. And jock boyz and gay boyz can SMELL an imposter trying to infiltrate. The brouhaha that follows ISN'T pretty! *chirp of emphasis*

*delighted chirp!* Miss Cramer, I'm so glad you are finding the color tips useful. I'm going to show this thread to my Mom because she like always calls me selfish and self-centered. I want her to see that I am really a caring giving person! *chirp of emphasis*

Nardo? isn't he like that grody red dude with the three eyes? I told him the other day to like QUIT staring at me and he turned his eyes the other way but THEN I noticed that that icky third eye was STILL staring at me so I got Ashe, Brock and Cliff to beat him up!

I like also told him that people with reddish complexions should NEVER wear ANY form of red, purple or pink but I don't like think he was listening because Brock's super-cute Sketchers (an ample substitute for sandals!) were all like in his oblong face and stuff.

STOP and smell the Hottie


A scent is VERY important! Both girlz AND fashionable gay guyz like a buff dude who's smelling GOOD! There's, like, time to get all sweaty and stinky LATER... you definitely want to start your night off smelling like a million credits! *chirp of emphasis*

It is important to know the difference between SUMMER and WINTER scents as well as DAYTIME and NIGHTTIME scents. This discussion could like actually take up another whole thread but I like just had a French Space-Manicure and don't want to risk damaging it!

2 IMPORTANT SCENT TIPS

Designer Imposter scents are NEVER EVER EVER acceptable.

Axe Body Spray is NOT a substitute for a shower.

JOOP!

What's that, Doop-jizz?

what brands do you recommend ??

i have to wear a suit for work, but on my days off when relaxing etc ...

i only wear Nike trainers and i wear Levi "Twisted" jeans and usually t-shirts from H&M and i wish we had Abercrombie & Fitch in the UK !!!

i really like their clothing, whenever i go to the States, i'll buy a load of stuff from, there !!!

Matthew.

Wow, no way! I thought Abercrombie was worldwide...

(I think H&M has a couple of stores in the U.S. ... though I'm wondering if British staple Marks & Spencer is here as well?)

Hey... speaking of Doop-jizz, I wonder if "Slimer" from Ghostbusters and Doop are related? And just what the heck is that "slime" that Slimer produces, anyway?!

*annoyed groan*

What like happened to the rest of the posts??!! They've been like retconned and stuff.

Anyway, take the non-fashion related dirty talk ELSEwhere!! *chirp of emphasis* Teen girls read this thread, y'know!!!!

Hi Umber!
What do you forecast for the coming fall/winter season?

your pal,
lil'rhino

Mullets.

Rhino! *squeal of delight* Gee, your avatar-thingie sure is... interesting....

I'm Sooooooooo glad you asked this VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION.

For fall--- it is like best this season to mimic the changing colors of all the pretty leaves... buy lots of magentas, rusts, tans, browns, MUTED greens, and even mustard yellows.

For winter--- throw them for a loop. After a couple months of muted fall colors, kick 'em right in the nads and stuff with like, pastels!!! *chirp of excitememnt* You heard me! Powder blue is my personal favorite. Oh yeah, and lots of stripey scarves and other accessories will make you look totally do-able!

And don't forget the big shoes. Everyone goes nuts for big shoes. Don't dare walk into a party this fall without knowing you will be wearing the most humongous pair of shoes there! *chirp of emphasis*

I'm like, not even going to dignify this with a response! *irritated air exhalation*