FINAL TALLY - 28 VOTES - 7/18/03 Five choices selected by voters.
1st Place - 50% (14 votes) - A TIE AT THE TOP!!! More arms & more eyes = more votes!
- Dr. Mayavale - Sometimes even having a doctorate gets you no respect. Some say it was the 83 extra arms, but I think it was the Gabe Kaplan hair.
- Eyeful Ethel - On Rimbor, she’s known as Just Plain Awful Ethel. But not to her face, or closest facsimile.
3rd - 46% (13) - Matter-Eater Lad - Hey, didn’t he save the universe once? Geez, what’s a guy gotta do to get some respect in this bar?
4th - 36% (10) - Super Moby-Dick of Space - Hey, didn’t he save the univ... No, I guess not...
5th - 32% (9) - Polecat - The ‘cat stinks all the way up to 5th place!
6th - 29% (8) - The Orandon Raccoons - Rumor is they all committed suicide over the new Jeka. Yeah, right, “suicide.”
7th - 25% (7) - Tusker - Dr. Doom couldn’t find a plastic surgeon, and this guy can’t find an oral surgeon. What the hell is wrong with medicine in comic books?!
8th - 21% (6) -The midpack of morons -
- The Bizarro Legion (as a group)
- Legion of Substitute Heroes (as a group)
----- There is no safety, or respect, in numbers. But together! Together they could beat... uh, well... they couldn’t even beat rugs.
- The Mess - Retconned as “Le Mess,” but we all knew he was French from the get-go.
- Nardo - He’s already takin’ prisoners and kickin ass. Don’t tell him about the Poll.
- Sugyn - He’ll toast ta that! Once he stops humpin the coatrack.
And the rest...
18% (5)
- H’Hrnath (the horse guy) - Alex Karras shoulda smacked this guy. Hell, I’ll do it! I’ll pay to do it! Cash American, right here! Time for a throwdown, Trigger!
- Infectious Lass - Not that many people, apparently, were sick of her.
14% (4)
- Atmos - If he had his atomic armpits he coulda beat Polecat!! Poor armpitless bastard.
- Beppo, the Super-Monkey - Touch my monkey! Touch him! Now bow before Beppo!
- Bouncing Boy - You know, he don’t sweat much for a fat man with two wives.
- Calamity King - This is an unmitigated catastrophe! Darn the luck.
- Camera Eye Kid - Must be a disposable Camera Eye.
- Dr. Gym’ll - We’ll get his bill.
- Evillo - If he could only count up to twelve. If only he wasn’t an incredible tool.
- Gas Girl - Technically, farting is more of a performance art than a superpower.
- Quislet - Quislet not happy! He got no joke here!
11% (3) - If they only had Kaplin hair and wore a skirt!
- Blockade Boy
- Proty
- Ron-Karr
- Stone Boy
- Warden Tsaquin (the eyestalk guy) - He only has eye for Ethel.
- Wild Huntsman
7% (2) - I think they must be in luuuuuv
- Antennae Boy
- Sensor the Snake
4% (1) - All ex-prom dates of Supergirl!
- Comet the Super-Horse
- Elastic Lad
- Evolvo Lad
- Kid Psycho
I should have included Arms Fall-Off lad and Fortress Lad in this list, but I had a quadruple bypass. Or maybe that was just a psychotic epsiode? Either way. If there’s any follow-up Poll on to this one, these two geekoramas will be included.
Dr. Mayavale thanks you for voting. Eyeful Ethel thanks you for voting. The others won’t speak to you ever again.
The blessings of democracy.
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