Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Bevis' Boutique of Fabulousness (Not a Secret Anti-STU Resistence HQ. Honest)

So, I take it we decided to cut costs on Giant Squid's funeral?

Or try to bring him back to life.

Well, I have a holographic generator handy

Yes, we'll need that, at least to make everyone think he really came back to life. This'll buy us some time to figure out how to really do it.

I just stumbled in here, and I can't RESIST (hint) Bevis' wonderful stain-RESISTant (more hints) fashions! And it looks like Michael Netzer shares my tastes too! So, Bevis, where are your most irRESISTible (yet another blatant hint) fashions kept?

Hmm, I don't know about the skirt, but the submachine gun sounds darling.

I went a bit overboard with the sprinkling of the growth formula, didn't I? No worries, it's probably better for you to be voluminous to be able to tackle the asexual division ahead. Will it be enjoyable? Well, that depends. It's a bit like being constipated for about a week and then... obtaining well-deserved relief.

The process is actually not that difficult. First you have to replicate your nuclei. Just be patient, DNA replication is easier than what it sounds, you just need to focus.

OK, now you need to redistribute your body mass. Just put a pseudopod on the ground and FLOW into it. Yes, fflloowww. Very good.

And now the difficult part. You need to squeeze yourself into two halfs. This is where the constipation analogy comes handy. Push! PUUUSSHH! So, is it working?

You know, if we weren't so busy rebelling against STU, I would be laughing at the idea of Cobie as a giant amoeba right now.

IB, there will *always* be time to laugh at the idea of Cobie as a giant amoeba.

Or just generally laughing at Cobie. I know that's how I spend much of my day.

I assume you're all laughing at how incredible handsome I am, even as a Giant Amoeba!

Yeah Cobie, that's right. Mmm-hmm. (Said in the spirit of the Resistence. )

Hey, just checking, but is there still need for the Resistence (not that there is one)? Because if so I've got a spare secret room all set up with all kinds of spy gadgets and stuff like that. I could rent it out if anyone needs it. ot that it exists, you understand, what with it being secret and stuff.

Also if the Resistence is no more what the hell am I going to do with this overstock of submachine guns in chic colours?

Keep them, and keep the room available. You never know when we might need it, for evil may always be skulking about in the shadows. Besides, Resistance Chic could become a popular style around here.

If not , you could always sell them on omniBay as Resistence memorabilia!

Not that there was a reisitence or that this boutique was ever part of the resistence that never was!

Looks like I missed all the fun...

No doubt the Boutique will be extremely busy tomorrow as everyone shops for that special outfit for the weekend's fine dining - or Friday night's Cosmic Bowling. Any recommendations, Bevis?

So... is the war over?

Did you defeat the savage Fenyir?

I'm thinking of showing up at the school fair dressed as a mercenary, just to protest against all the wonderful fatigue and nervous disorders they've been giving us lately. Bevis, gimme the works!

(Why do I have the feeling I'm gonna regret saying that last part? )

the works eh? That could take some time. Are you wanting the fashionable chic mercenary look or the full on 'don't mess with me you bastards because I'm packing a whole bloody arsenal of exotic and wonderful weapons but still look fabulous' look? I can cater for both.

I think I'll go for the second one. Now THAT sounds WAY cool!

Bevis, when you get the chance, can you set me up for the "You all wish you had me on Valentine's Day and the morning after" look? And add in your own touches of course !

And then I'll add MY touches to your outfit

Spacey! This jewel-encrusted sweater is just darling! I love the way the stones change color in response to the wearer's mood!

It looks sooooo fab on you, Tiffany!

Check out this silk garter-belt, hand-crafted by Imskian designers! It even comes in Touston Pink!