Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Fare thee well...

Putting something in my mouth to get me to stop talking?

1) I have no idea how to respond to that. I tried to think of something clever, but they all seemed too dirty or too gay, so I'll just pretend I'm distracted by something else.

2) I didn't mean to seem insensitive to everyone else. If I ever meet any of you (who have all been so wonderfully supportive!) lunch is on me. Not literally.

3) I did call the hotel today. It turns out there was an ad so there are many people applying. (I applied a few months ago and they pulled my application and called me.) The position is nowhere near as certain as I thought. Still, I will keep looking for something else.

Thanks again to everyone for your concern.

You would have had to work pretty hard to be too gay for me.

I thought there might end up being more competition than you thought for the hotel job, if only because there's SO MANY people out of work. But it's just a numbers game, the more you apply, the more likely one of them will happen to pick you out of the qualified applicants.

But the fact that they called you first means your resume must be decent, so keep sending it out, or dropping it off, whatever you do with resumes these days.

Sometimes, the strangest things happen...

I interviewed for the hotel job awhile back. The lady who interviewed me was named Lorraine Sanz. The interview went extrememely well. I had never met her before the interview. Then, a few days later...

I was at the house, watching the kids while my wife did some volunteer work at the Catholic church. My oldest son (almost 11) gets a call from a boy in his class. They are supposed to be working on a project for school that day. He gives me the phone so I can talk to the boy's mother. I take the phone, and I hear a voice, "Hi! Lorraine Sanz here!"

It took me a few seconds. I immediately wondered how she got my home number (where I don't live) and why she was calling on a Saturday morning. Then I realized, her son was my son's partner for the school project. I spoke to her a bit, then I said, "Ms. Sanz, do you know who I am?"

She was silent a moment and I told her that I was the person who had interviewed with her a few days before. We both had a good laugh and I said, "Well, I don't mean to be pushy, but maybe this is fate!" She laughed as well, and we both thought it was quite bizarre.

I'm glad life still throws me the chuckles sometimes.

So it seems from the Chicago meetup thread that you got the Marriott job? Or at least *a* Marriott job.

I did indeed get the Marriot job. My understanding was there were about 150 candidates, and they picked me. So, I work at the front desk and as a night auditor now.

One funny part is - I was at a nearby Hampton interviewing for another hotel job (which was also offered) when I got the call that I was hired for the Marriot job.

It is nice not to dread going to work every day. The job also has some perks - cheaper hotel rates if I travel, and free meals. I also work with some very pretty young ladies, which doesn't hurt. I mean really pretty. It makes me wish I was much better-looking, or much richer, but then, I wish for those occasionally anyway.

This, however, has been a rough week for me personally. My wife's dad never seemed to care for me much. I don't know if it is because I am not Catholic or for other reasons. He took my family (my wife and 3 kids) to Disneyworld this week while the kids are on spring break. It is like he is rewarding my wife for our separation. Or, maybe I am being oversensitive.

The part that hurts is, my wife either turned off her cell phone or let the charge die down. This means, I can't call them. I have tried to call many times to make sure they are ok and see how they are doing. But - I am totally cut off from my kids, and I hate it. Even if her cell battery died, I don't see why she couldn't use one of her parents' cell phones to let the kids call me for a few minutes.

I just don't see how people can be so inconsiderate.

Congratulations on the job, lance.

Although you didn't ask for advice, mine would be to focus on and celebrate the positive. It may take your wife and her family some time to come to terms with what has happened. Even though the separation was her idea, she is probably still hurting. Give her time, and don't assume she's turned off her phone just to spite you.

Oh, and a couple of other things.

I actually did send a letter (return receipt requested) to the people from the mobile home. The guy called me and said he would send some money last week. Then he said yesterday. Then he said he got paid today, and I am supposed to hear from him. I have not yet heard from him today. I seem to be getting stalled, so we'll see what the next few days bring. I actually did talk to the police about taking them to small claims court, so I know what to do if they don't come through.

On to other things. I have asked this before, but - is there anyone out there who would let me call them and talk to them? I am still pretty lonely, would like to have more people to talk to. If this is ok, pm me your number, your name (or whatever you want me to call you) and the times most convenient for you. I still have some numbers from some people, but I know schedules change and just want to be sure my calls would be welcome.

Thanks to everyone for being so supportive, and I hope to see some of you soon in Chicago!

Well, thanks, HWW. You're likely right - they are probably so busy and having so much fun that it is just an oversight. Pretty big oversight, though, IMHO.

If my wife is hurting at all, she is hiding it well.

Ah, well, gotta stop wallowing in self-pity and get out more.

I am SOOOO happy you're out of a job you hate. Isn't it so much better?

Re: Mr. Mobile Home:

1) Write down the date and time he said those things, unless he actually wrote them to you, which of course is better. It is admitting the debt. If he leaves it as a message on your answering machine, bring a tape of it to court. If he hems and haws even for a second when the judge asks if that's him on the tape, they tend to lose their case.

2) is he the one who technically owes you or is it her? I seem to remember that it's her mobile home in which you were living, yet you were making your checks out to him. Well, it's good at least that he's the one saying he'll repay you, but there may still be the issue that he doesn't own the home, if they're being cagey.

If you still get copies of your checks back, and they have "rent" in the memo line, hopefully a rational judge will ignore actual ownership as irrelevant. Your proof shows you paid him, and he admits he owes you. Should be enough.

Good luck, and again, SO F-ING glad you're out of that last job.

Congrats on the Marriot job.

As for the mobile home guy, Shining Son said it all. The only thing I would add is that if you do end up in small claims court, put both of them as defendents.

See if you can get them to go on Judge Judy.

I would avoid Judge Judy because she could shred you too just for misspeaking for a moment, and with all the family stuff you have going, you don't need that to happen to you on TV.

I just called him. He said he didn't get paid today after all, but should get paid Monday. I am being patient, so we'll see.

Good to hear things are starting to look brighter for you Lance.

And being patient about the mobile home situation is good...honey and vinegar and all that jazz

Yes, he doesn't need to know you're recording every phone call, but do record them.

[snip]

First of all, congrats about landing the job you really wanted. (After almost four years of being in Job Purgatory myself, you have no idea how much reading this warms the cockles of my black, shriveled little heart.)

Second of all, don't sell us middle-aged women short. Maybe we're not always the most photogenic, but we can be fun to hang out with anyway. (And there's nothing wrong with asking anyone you're interested in to go Dutch to the movies or whatever. This is the 31st Century, after all! )

I know you're hurting, and I know this is tough.

My mother died shortly before Thanksgiving in 1993. For Christmas that year, my aunt (my mother's sister) wanted to travel as therapy. She invited me to go along, and we flew to Corpus Christi, TX, to get away. Meanwhile, my brother and my dad, who both had to work, stayed home.

Subsequently, my aunt and I were disturbed to find out that my brother and dad did not get together for Christmas. Each stayed home and dealt with grief in his own way. (I suspect each was waiting for the other to pick up the phone, but I never asked.)

There were a lot of emotions surrounding all of us at the time, and a lot of ways, both healthy and unhealthy, to deal with them. Was it wrong for my aunt and me to go on a trip? No, I don't believe so. Should we have felt guilty because my brother and father stayed home alone? No, that was their choice.

I guess my point is, we can't really know what's going through each other's minds. Outward appearances may be deceiving. I don't know you or your family, lance, and I'm not choosing sides. But I know from painful personal experience that it does no good to impute motives to the other person without solid evidence . . . and solid evidence is hard to come by when you're hurting.

I think it's great to make sure you always give the benefit of the doubt whenever you can. I've lived that way most of my life.

I've learned that it's also important to realize when someone frequently and consistently causes you to activate the benefit of the doubt and you need to look carefully to make sure you haven't become an enabler of some sort. At some point, if there's a preponderance of anecdotal evidence, your guard needs to go up.

There's nothing wrong with letting her know that in the future you'd like to be able to maintain contact with your kids during long vacations.

Frankly, if you don't say this, and if what you've told us about her before is accurate, I gather she'd use it as evidence that you didn't care that you didn't speak to them for a week (or however long).

Not necessarily true. Some states make it a crime to record a conversation without the other person knowing. From a quick look, it seems that Kentucky has a one person consent law. Which means that only one party of the telepone conversation neds to consent to the recording. Obviously if lance records the telepone conversation, he is giving consent.

I did talk to her about it today. I told her I was upset that for 6 days I didn't hear from them. She said that her cell battery died, and she didn't realize it. She did say she kept expecting me to call, but wasn't using her cell phone so she didn't know her battery was dead. I told her that I was really worried, since I had no way of knowing if anyting had gone wrong. She didn't have anything to say to that. This conversation was quite civil - no yelling and I tried not to make any accusations or try to place blame.

This wasn't an easy conversation for me. It has always been very hard for me to confront people I care about about things they do that I don't like. Still, I told her how I felt, and I feel better.

It's a start, I suppose.

I don't really have a way to record a conversation. Besides, I think these people are too..um..I don't wanna say stupid, but maybe too...well..I am drawing a blank. I think they are stalling a bit. If they don't come through soon I will tell them I am going to file a claim, and it won't be an empty threat. I suspect they will come through pretty fast once I put my foot down. I am still gonna play softball for now. I am supposed to get my money on Monday. If I don't get it, then we'll try some hardball.

Cleome, I don't have any problem with middle age women. They would be the same age I am, which is a plus. (Recently, Three Dog Night stayed at my hotel, and the young girls didn't know who TDN was.) The thing is, there don't seem to be any middle-aged women that work the front desk. All of the ladies that work the front desk are either over 55 or under 30. They are all great people to work with. Honestly, I have never worked at a place before where the morale is so high.

Now, I am still married, and I am not going to pursue any relationships until my wife and I decide a direction for our marriage. That means, all I can do now with the females is look, and I would rather look at a pretty 23-yr-old than a 60-yr-old. I think they make better "eye-candy." Does that make me an ageist?

Good for you.

Sounds like she's a decent enough person that she realizes she would have felt the same, which is exactly what you want. It's good she wasn't defensive about it, and it means you were probably successful at not sounding as if you were placing blame.

Wow, it’s been a year since anyone posted to this thread!

I stopped updating it because it felt like I was just being “poor little me” boo hoo hoo and seriously, who needs that? My life is still a cesspool sometimes, but whose isn’t? Lots of people have gone through worse circumstances than mine, and I am trying to focus on the positive.

Still, an update seems in order.

So, Lance, where are you now?

Currently I am operations manager for a couple of radio stations in Cincinnati. (Not WKRP, and if I hear that joke again, I am getting out my chainsaw…) It is a job I have done before, and I love it. I often look forward to going to work, especially after a few days off. I feel so useful and productive here.

How did I get this job? Back in December I got an email from the general manager of the stations. He was looking for someone to do operations and he spoke to an employee here who mentioned my name. I got the email on Tuesday. On Wednesday, I called and spoke to him. We set up an interview for Friday. It didn’t take long for me to realize the interview was going to go well, because we spent the first ten minutes talking about comic books. It was a job interview, so eventually the conversation turned to other matters, like science-fiction movies. Anyway, he offered me the job and I started the following Monday. (We did actually talk about the job at some point. I think.)

In the beginning, the job was, well, chaotic. There were 2 people in operations already. One was leaving on the following Friday, and the other was about to get fired, which he must have suspected, since he got a different job during the week I worked with him. He was a great guy, and he did better production (radio jargon for he had a fantastic voice and cut wonderful commercials) than anyone I have ever met, but he wasn’t detail-oriented enough to do operations.

Anyway, the point is, I had a week’s worth of (fairly poor!) training and then I was left to make sure everything ran ok on both stations. I was thrown into the deep end, but, that’s ok, it doesn’t matter how deep it is if you know how to swim. Also, my boss is whiz-bang with all of the software and hardware here, and even though he was on vacation, he was available by email, so I did have a sort of life-preserver.

To make matters more interesting, I knew that one of the stations was about to switch frequencies, and the other station was changing format. Lots and lots of work to do. And I still loved it.

As soon as I got the job here, my wife filed for divorce. Apparently she was just waiting for me to get a better job before she filed.

So what now? I am about to move to a bigger apartment in a better neighborhood so I can have my kids more often. I have the three most amazing and wonderful kids in the world. I have a job I really like. (I also went to a local bar last night and won a round of trivia where the topic was “marine life.” I am amazed how many people don’t know that the blue-ringed octopus has very potent venom. Neither here nor there – sorry.)

So, my life doesn’t suck. It isn’t always sunshine and smooth sailing, but so what? I am trying to make it better, just like all of you are.

Again, my sincere thanks for all of the support I have received here. I mean it. I guess I gave this thread the wrong title after all.

Here’s to better tomorrows for all of us…

Glad to hear things are going well!

Lance, glad to hear things are looking up for you. There's always bad days but you have your kids and us.