Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Fare thee well...

Now I want nachos.

*Sends lance some nachos with homemade taco beef, pickle relish, homemade salsa, molten mozzarella, and yogurt (healthy sub for sour cream*

Thank you! Wait...no olives? I don't like you anymore...

Drat! Almost had it perfect

Ha! Ok, I forgive you. Well, maybe. I do love olives...

If I pop over with a box of olives, will you buy me a beer?

One beer? If you pop over from the Philippines, I think I'll spot you at least a case.

Wait a minute - a box of olives? Olives come in a box? I don't think I have ever seen that. I thought they just grew 'em in the jars. IB, this got me wondering about how the pimentos get in the olives, and I learned a lot about olives here:

http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview/id/46892.html

Maybe I need to start a new thread - All About Olives? Nah, wouldn't want Legion World to crash because of all the posts that would get...

Regarding the child support, based on what I read in the statute, it is not a matter of who makes more, you are both responsible for child support, but in proportion to what you make. There is also a part about if you quit your job to try to get out of paying child support. Basically, you can't. But I don't think that would be something you would do. And child support won't be enforced unless either you or your wife go to court for either child custody or child support.

Regarding the house, Your name stays on the deed until you either sell your share or die (or the bank forecloses or the city takes your house because you didn't pay your property taxes). You living there or not living there has no bearing on the matter. Just think about all those property owners who don't live in the house they own, but rent it out. Their names don't get taken off the deed. However, with your name on the deed, it means that you are responsible along with your wife for paying the property tax. If the house is mortgaged and both your names are on the mortgage, you are still responsible for that too along with your wife.

Thank you Quislet!

Lance,

I know that even though you are getting on with your life, you aren't looking to divorce or haggle over child custody/support right now. But if your wife does initiate any legal proceedings, it may be possible for you to get pro bono legal service. Pro bono can either be free or a reduced rate. Here is a link to contact info for groups in Kentucky who do pro bono work http://kyjustice.org/probono

You may also want to check (if you need to) with any law schools in the area to see if they have any programs to have a supervised law school student assist you.

Decisions, decisions...

I might have a decision to make. I had a job interview last week, and it went really well. The only sticking point was the salary, and I am supposed to hear back to find out if they have sweetened the pot any. Here is my problem, and I really would appreciate any advice you could give.

Currently, I work at a company called Convergys. Convergys has a contract with ATT, and I do ATT tech support. So, what I do is answer phones all night and troubleshoot peoples' problems with their phones, internet, and cable. The job only pays 10 bucks an hour, though, but Convergys is a huge company with hundreds of offices around the world, so opportunities for advancement within the company are not that tough to come by. At least, so they tell me. The problem is, I hate the job. I hate it. Every day before work my stomach ties itself in knots and I feel overwhelmed with anxiety. What do I do? I pack up my lunch and go to work. I still have perfect attendance so far.

Lat week I had an interview for a job at one of the local Marriot hotels. It would involve working at the desk and doing some night auditing. I have done this work before, and I liked it just fine.

So, the question is, if Marriot offers me a job with a comperable salary, what do I do? I have tried to list the pros and cons of each job.

Let's start with the pros:

Convergys:

1) Likely opportunities for long-term advancement

Marriot:

1) Marriot is also a big company, so advancement certainly isn't out of the question.
2) I would like the job a lot better, I think.
3) While working as night auditor, I would be the manager on duty. Having "manager" on one's resume seems like it would be a plus. It can't be a bad thing.

cons:

Convergys:

1) I hate it. I really do. I have to put up with so many annoyed and occasionally abusive people that I hate going to work every day. (Poeple calling for tech support are already frustrated and sometimes quite angry.)

Marriot:

2) The advancement opportunities are likely going to be slimmer.


The thing is, I have a degree in computer science which I have never actually used. I know Convergys hires programmers for some of the work they do. If I stay there long enough, my financial future would likely be brighter than if I leave. At least, I think so.

So, I am torn. Do I stay with a job I hate that I think will have better opportunities if I stick it out for awhile? Or do I go to a job that I would like better, but might not have quite the opportunities? Anyone here know the hotel business? Anyone have any advice or insight?

Anyone?

That's a toughie. I am not going to say "do this", because it is your decision to make. And generally when people ask for advice, they have made a decision and just want some validation.

One thing I will ask. What do you think are the actual chances of advancing at Convergy? You might want to ask some of your co-workers whether there is any actual advancement rather than just the prospect of advancement.

Then it sounds like you have to weigh the prospect of advancement with the stress and anxiety.

Yes, that is a toughie.

As Quis said, you've probably already made up your mind or at least are strongly leaning toward one or the other. That said, here are a few scattered thoughts and questions:

Do you really want to advance in a company if you hate the work? By advancing, would you be doing the same thing or similar things? Would you still be dealing with grumpy customers?

And would you be happy doing night auditing for awhile even if you don't advance so rapidly in that company?

Of course, the prospect of advancement and advancement are two different things. The latter may depend on any number of unforeseeable variables, such as getting along with your supervisor, an economic upturn or downturn, potential rivals for advancement, and your satisfaction with the job and/or company. How would you feel about looking for a new job if either opportunity does not pan out? If you were "stuck" in one position or the other, which would you prefer?

At this point in your life, I think you need something to make you happy. You have been stuck in a misery loop, even if you didn't know it. So the choice is the immediate gratification of the hotel, or the possibility of future happiness with the other.

tough choice.

I would be making all of He Who Wanders' points right now, but he saved me some time . So here's the rest of what I have to say:

First of all, don't think TOO hard on this. I mean do think it through, of course, but realize that unless there's some hard and fast thing about the future you can be absolutely sure of, there's no point in picking a slightly more likely maybe over a regular maybe if you hate the former.

And clearly, you do.

As someone who's doing a job he loves, even though in this economy he's a luxury and therefore making 30% less in the last 4 years than before, I have to tell you the world is so much better if you're not hating your job.

If you're happier, you're healthier, and you're a better dad to your kids.

It you had any more reason to expect good things from your current job than you say, it would be different.

I say get the hell out of there. Yes, I'm a stranger on the internet who doesn't know much about you, or the entirety of your situation, but going by all you've presented so far, I have no problem saying there's a clear choice here. There's just not enough promise to make up for the down side of your current job. Also, unless you've actually SEEN someone promoted from within at Convergys, don't even give it much thought, my experience is it's much easier to move up by moving out. Especially in the situation you're in, where moving up would be to a job unrelated to the skills you're currently displaying. Unless you have a great boss who's observant and intelligent, it's not particularly likely.

Plus, if you're really qualified for that possible future position, you can still apply for it even if you're a former employee, as long as you left on good terms (gave enough notice, followed all applicable rules, didn't tell anyone off when leaving...)

In the end you might miss a good opportunity at the place you hate, but life is too short and you have kids to see. And they don't need to see a dad who's entire life except the moments he's with them is horrible, it puts too much stress on those moments to be perfect.

Seriously, haven't you been unhappy long enough?

Thank you all. I am going to bed now. I still need to think more about this.

Actually, one more thing. Yes, I have seen people promoted at Convergys. One of the key things they look for is attendance. They seem to look more for availability, rather than ability.

But...is it worth it? Even the promotions are basically the same job. It would take me years to get a job I might be happy with.

Currently, I am thinking I might take the hotel job, if it is offered. Which I thinnk it will be.

Ah, well, whatever I do, I am sure I'll regret it...

Yes, I am a little bit cynical these days.

Your history (as my own) is a strong force pushing you towards cynicism, but remember that you regretting it is no more definite than is getting a better job at the place you hate.

Dude, PLEASE don't wait years to be happy. A few years is an eternity to kids. You know you'll be happier at the hotel and you know you hate where you are. It sounds like everything else is either so close to equal or so indefinite that it's not worth any extra pain. Even if it was a choice between one you can't stand and can barely stand it would be clear.

But if you're considering all possibilities, here's another one: I don't see attendance being your strong point with all you're going through. You're going to want days off here and there for special occasions with your kids like school plays and emergencies, and god forbid, court dates. That's only going to put you at the back of the promotion line at hated-job. While there's no guarantee, my impression is that hotels are generally more understanding of schedules, and more appreciative of work quality.

If you really hate the job, and Marriott is anywhere comparable in pay, it sounds like a clear decision. But yet nother change in so short a time can be a bit daunting.

Imagine that I am Marriott for a moment. Imagine that I call you up and said, "sorry, but we've given the job to someone. Else." how does that make you react? Is it relief? Disappointment? Maybe that helps...

Anyway, good luck with your decision.

If you'd be happy at Marriott, and they're paying you enough to survive on, then taking that job seems like the right thing to do.

Kent makes a good point that change itself can be off-putting, especially after your recent upheavals. Try very hard though to recognize a change for the BETTER, and don't turn away from it just because it's change.

Instead focus on not having your stomach in knots every morning. You don't just say you hate your job, you repeat it immediately:

"I hate the job. I hate it."

You are overwhelmed with anxiety every morning at the mere thought of going to work!!!

You used to be a stay at home dad and repress how unhappy you were and look where that got you. How could it be any better to go to work and do the same thing?

You guys are making a lot of sense. I really wasn't leaning towards one job or the other, but I do appreciate your input.

I think I will take the hotel job, if it is offered, and I am 90% sure it will be.

In other news, I called my wife tonight, and we had a pleasant conversation. It was nice. It even gives me hope.

And if for some reason the hotel job falls through, keep applying at other hotels. Or anything else you might not hate.

Thanks for the advice, SS. If I ever get to New York, I'm buying you lunch.