Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Café Cramer - Always Open

<enters and orders an espresso>

<Tim and Clive don't notice him>

I don't know, Tim. I mean...

I don't know much about...well, anything, I guess--but especially not relationships!

So how would I know if I'm...gay?

That's something you have to discover for yourself. Are you more attracted to women or to men? Which do you think about more?

As I like to say, time will tell...

I suppose it will, Tim. I've certainly got a lot to think about...

<takes Tim's hand in his own>

...a lot to think about.

<from his booth>

I don't even remember him or really know him, but I think my 'son' is on the right path for him. This is the most comfortable I've seen him in his own skin since I awoke and first saw him in my hospital room.

<smiles and finishes his espresso>

Time to stop snooping and give them their space...

<leaves>

Ew. Gay.

...you've been on Legion World how long now and you've only now reached this realization?



This is Legion World. We tolerate all civil sentients. Even Abin.

Even axe-throwing barbarians, when they drop by.

Which may be soon.

I'll have a coffee and a sticky bun while they're still available.

got any chum behind the bar? if not, I'll take a frappucino ...

un cafe au lait, s'il vous plait.

Caffeine!

Coffee, hot, black... I'll need about a gallon...


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(I know I'm alive because it hurt's too much for me to be dead)

<Enters the Cafe, draws twin katannas, strides over to Space Ranger's Table.>

Okay Dirtbag, you and I need to have a little talk.

We'll start with you telling me who the sprock you really are...

Sentient, I'd advise you to put the toy swords away.

And my name is Bart Quank, but most people call me Space Ranger.


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(And Wannabe Security Officers call me Sir or Chief.)

Bart Quank, the Space Ranger has been very, very dead for years, Pal.

And there are only three people in the Security Office that rate the title Chief... Cobalt Kid, matlock, and Everyday Girl. You just ain't on that list.

Now I'm gonna ask again, Who the sprock are you?

Sentient I'm going to ask you again to put the swords away. You tend to talk with your hands and I'd hate to see someone get hurt.


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(And just in case you're confused. It won't be me that gets hurt.)

Are you going to answer my questions or are we going to take a trip to the Security Office?

Rookie, let me give you a few tips.

<Sips Coffee>

1. You can't do the "Good Cop/Bad Cop" routine with just a "Bad Cop."

2. Threatening to take a perp back to the Security Office only works when the perp in question wasn't already planning to go there after he finishes his coffee.

3. I'm going to ask you politely, one last time to please put the swords away.


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(She's spunky but not real bright...)

Well, you've certainly got the Macho Arrogance of the REAL Space Ranger.

But now it's time for you and me to go down to the Security Office.

One of the Chief's wants to talk to you.

Since I was headed there anyway...


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(and I want to see either Cobalt Kid or matlock.)

<in a wink, Exnihil appears again from another time >


Oh, man... where now?


<looks around>


I'm in the back storage room of... Cafe Cramer? But when?


<peers out into the cafe through a slat in the door and sees... himself walking in the door>


Wow... that's the first time I ever came into a Legion World establishment... that must put this at... August of last year? God... what is Phineas's game?


<again a sudden pain rips through his skull>


GOD! ENOUGH! I know what to do.


<begins lifting sacks of coffee from a neatly stacked pallette. As if guided by an unseen hand, he finds the correct one and, reaching in, pulls from it another pocketwatch. Again he winds it.>


Ok... "two o'clock". Do it.


<in a wink, Exnihil disappears >


*****************************************************************

Meanwhile in the front of the cafe, the Ex of 7 months prior enters and meets Cobalt Kid for the first time:


Nicotine!

(Looks around)

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought this was the Tobacconist.

Don't mind me... I'll... uh... just be leaving, then...

You should open up the Legion World Tobacconist, Exnihil!

[STU prepares himself a bacon sandwich on buttered toast]

Think I'll just help myself to a cup of, um, some caffeinated beverage.

[YAWN]

Café Cramer - now with nicotine! Nothing hurts you within these virtual walls, not even squabbling Security Officers.