Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Cobalt's Office of Security - Post-Crisis

<putting on fresh shirt, handed to him by unnamed beautiful security office support staff member>

Greetings! Thank you for your understanding; you do have my apologies. I'm afraid most of the time these days I'm either coming back from a battle or heading towards one.

Come into the conference room and take a seat and I'll have refreshments sent for, and you can tell me what it is you need to see me for. I'm not caught up to speed yet on current events on Legion World but I'll catch on fast.

<motions towards a wall that begins to open up revealing a conference room; most of the Security Office look confused as apparently Cobalt never mentioned to them this room existed>

Sharky, feel free to join us.

[aside to Legolas] Don't let his ferocity mislead you. Shark Lad is one of the most decorated Security Officers and LMBers of us all, and of incredible intelligence. His bloodlust just allows me to get things accomplished more quickly, so I encourage it.[/aside]

Cobalt, Thank the Founders that you're finally here!

Jeebus, I hardly know where to start...

Britney is at Quank Tower, tending to Pagan Lass and Stoopid Cat. Zardi and someone or someTHING called Chilthu roughed the pair of them up pretty good before Candle pulled Pagan out of there.

Abin is on his way back from Polesnarffle where he was setting up a new Quank Enterprises field office.

Nobody has seen Space Ranger since that after the fact bachelor party you guys threw a while ago.

We think that Zardi snatched Gladys, but we don't know how or why.

There is an extensive report on Zardi on your desk, but I'll hit the high points for you:

1. He's an Elder of the Universe.
2. He thinks he's saving the magical aspects of the universe by luring magical beings into his cloud castle and coercing them into becoming part of his 'family.'
3. There are an uncounted number of magical beings still in the castle, some completely willingly others being held by a spell or some other glamour.
4. He has permission from mearl Dox to operate on LW provided he honors his agreement with her. We don't know what that agreement is or how to contact Mearl.
5. Lardy, Kent, and somebody called Ghost Girl all want appointments with you.
6. There's an annoying elf, called Legolas, insisting on seeing you. I'll be happy to slap him around and send him on his way if you want.


Oh and one last thing...

We have an unconfirmed report that Whoredru is in the castle with Zardi...

My, thanks. Bloody liberty, there is a lot more to all this than I suspected...

<glances through the files she handed him>

I've got Legolas in the conference room now, and am going to be joining him shortly. I recommend you stay by my side until we sort this out.

This Zardi character still seems very mysterious. I have a way to contact Mearl but it isn't easy and its time consuming. She is Supreme Ruler of the Universe, but she's also an old friend.

Ranger is missing? That isn't good. We need to find him immediately. And probably call in some of the LMB reserves. I'll be ready to meet with anyone who shows up in the order they do it.

Zardi must have snatched Gladys to tap into the various natural cosmic forces that make up her unique physiology.

Bah, magic. I never could stomach too much of it. A very wise old mentor once told me its effect on you is only in correlation to how much you believe in it. So I suggest we both start writing it off as rubbish.

<glances down>

And what's this about Faraway Lad being captured...?

Faraway was captured by the Cacks. Right now he is sleeping off one of the most heroic drunks I've ever seen at Cackle Castle.

So anyway I'll be happy to play girl friday for you.

As long as you don't use it as an excuse to keep me out of the field...

My dear Cobalt Kid,

I represent Zardi, a benevolent defender and custodian of reality as we know it. I must confess some people are uncomfortable with his title of Overlord, but it is merely a statement of fact. We do understand how disconcerting it might be to people who measure their lifetimes in mere centuries - or less.

As your feisty aide has somewhat accurately summarized, my master and his castle are here legally in Legion World airspace as per an agreement with Mearl Dox. Your ally Kent Shakespeare has confirmed the legitimacy of our documentation in this regard.

We have done everything in our power to abide by Legion World laws, customs and practices while here. Yet we have been repeatedly attacked, trespassed upon and even raided without provocation. Your own ambassador, one Faraway Lad, has tampered with ancient artifacts and interfered with Cack relations for both my master and for Legion World.

My master has invited visitors, yet only your Mr. Shakespeare has entered without subterfuge.

I am requesting, under the provisions of Mearl Dox's agreement with my master, that I be authorized to act as a Special Enforcement Officer to bring Legion World citizens in for questioning, so that they may be held responsible for their transgressions.

I will refer you to Article 4, Section VI, subsection 18, which describes the Special Enforcement Officer post - which is to operate in concert with your office, so long as you do not try to harbor fugitives.

I will also cite subsection 26, which deals with how proceedings are to take place; subsection 27, appeals; subsection 28, arbitration mechanisms should your office take issue with enforcement operations and the selection on non-aligned adjudicators; and subsection 33, which prohibits deliberately lethal practices so long as operational harmony between our jurisdictions exists. surely no one wants any of this to reach crisis proportions.

Of course you will need time to review these sections, and perhaps the entire agreement if you so wish.

I am prepared to extend a more than reasonable amount of time for your review, provided that you have your people cease covert incursions into my master's castle.

We remain more than willing to allow guests free access. We merely ask for them to use the front door, knock, and allow our staff to do their proper oversight duties.

Thank you for your time, good sir.

I shall leave you my card.

(hands Cobalt Kid a card)

All you must do is hold the card within your line of sight, at readable range, and
speak to it with deliberate intent to communicate with me; I shall hear the message.

Au revoir.

(exits)

I won't. My "girl fridays" have two requirements: to be incredibly sexy and to kick-ass in the field, as we're bound to get attacked at least twice per thread.

<turns to Legolas, and watches him leave>

Arrogant, but no more than usual for an Elf. Obviously this one is up to no good, but at least he’s not hiding it.

<On the table is the card that Legolas left; Cobalt Kid specifically did not pick it up or accept it, but let it fall onto the table>

My, have Security Officer Kenny Ketchum come in here and pick up that card, and then speak into it the following:

“Ambassador Legolas, thank you for your cordiality. Much as you can understand our own sense of disconcertion by the culture of your Overlord, I also understand your own confusion of Legion World’s practices and culture. You see, it is custom on Legion World for several of the inhabitants to invade and try to enter new structures via espionage. Its our most striking form of flattery.

While your Agreement with Mearl Dox has been reviewed by Kent Shakespeare, whom I hold in the highest esteem, I will be taking you up on your offer and ask to have Security Office review the entire agreement and all sections, sub-sections and exclusions, so we can understand the full extent of the terms. We’d also need to have our lawyer, Quislet, Esq., review them himself. You see, while Mearl Dox is Supreme Ruler of the Universe, there is a clause within the LMB charter that states because she was a member of the LMB, all of her rulings must therefore be certified by the LMB when they directly affect the well-being of Legion World. I trust you understand this is technically a rubber-stamp, and purely a bureaucratic process we will try to complete at the soonest opportunity to move these proceedings along.

I can confirm that no members of the Security Office are currently engaged with trespassing upon the property of your master, Zardi. However, there are other independent citizens of Legion World, as well as members of the Legion, who may have taken this up on their own. In some cases, this may have been the result of a misinterpretation of the offer given by your Overlord to enter. In the scenario of the latter, it will be up to Lard Lad, the current leader of the LMB, to engage those LMBers acting in an official capacity. As for normal citizens of Legion World, I will halt them from further trespass.

I personally intend to visit the Castle in the Sky shortly with an entourage of Security Officers and administrative staff, and will do so in the formal and natural way.

I also must make a statement regarding the most honorable and benevolent Ambassador, Faraway Lad. While his actions may have resulted in some tension between the Cacks, your own Overlord and Legion World itself, I can assure you, he has only ever had the most noble of intentions. Faraway Lad is honored throughout the multiverse as one of its finest denizens and his intentions were never to offend. Therefore, I must request he be released and excused for any transgressions by all parties involved. I also must officially pardon the noble Faraway Lad of any crime, as I deem that he did not commit any. Furthermore, I would ask that Faraway Lad, as a way to prove his good nature, be allowed to involve himself in these negotiations.

Most importantly, I must understand the nature of Zardi’s presence here on Legion World. While I could list several reasons why my understanding is paramount, I would think the natural methods of polite discourse would be for your Overlord to tell us himself so we can understand and make adjustments so life on Legion World is not interrupted too greatly. In the meantime, I must therefore deny your request to be made Special Enforcement Officer on Legion World. Until my understanding is complete as to why you and your Master are here, and specifically why any citizen of Legion World would be needed for questioning or prosecution, I cannot—and will not—be able to grant this request. I also must ask that you present to this office a summary of your biography, and who you are, dear Elvin Lord, so we can be assured our vetting process is complete in analyzing these requests”.

<now turning back to My Whee Fem>

There, have Kenny Ketchum pick up the card, transmit that entire correspondence and then have him go home to his apartment and wait there with the card until we have further need of him. Tell him he gets to work at home for the next few weeks. Under no circumstances is he or that card allowed back in the Security Office until I give further notice. In fact anyone who touches that card will be under the same orders. Officer Ketchum is removed from the field, and have another Security Officer stay with him to watch over his actions.

Dealing with an Elder of the Universe, working with the Supreme Ruler of the Universe is heavy stuff, and we must be careful. But lets always remember our motto in the LMB, that at the end of the day, we’re not above breaking all the rules we need to. Now lets try to find out exactly what Zardi wants and who he has imprisoned in his Castle…

So, what's the next move, boss?

We need to find out what Zardi is all about, whether his power dwarves ours or not.

We'll leave message for Ranger to join us. I understand what he's going through. My, you're with me. Remember, sexy and deadly.

<wide grin>

So let's go introduce ourselves formally...

(appears in the Security Offics, seemingly out of the very fabric of space it's self)

Cobalt!!!

The Refuge has been tainted! Zardi found access to it. I confronted him. He invited me to the castle. As a Security Officer, he has given me permission to enter.

Luna! Its good to see you again. Its been awhile.

<comfortable smile>

We've recieved an invitation ourselves. Though its obvious we're walking into the lion's den, I think we should go and see what answers we can get. Better to keep things there than on the streets of Legion World--their protection must always come before our safety.

Let's all go over together and see how this plays out.

<exits towards the castle, but briefly turns to the regular staff>

Have Space Ranger, Matlock or any others contact me via omnicom or join me at their own disgression. And dammit, I need a new assistant!

<steps hard -for a Cack- on Cobie's toes>

What am I? Chopped Liver?

<whispers to My>

Look above, you must not have heard me

I'm definitely going to need you with me. And if you're serious about keeping this girl friday gig permanent, you'd definitely make my life a lot easier. Of course, people would be trying to kill you--at least more than usual--and I'd be hitting on you--at least, more than usual.

You've hit on me before? Why didn't I notice that?

You become immune after a while...

(umm..said while astral projecting from castle)

[i]Following Cobalt and Luna\'s exit from the Castle in the Sky...[/i]

<enters from the Castle in the Sky with Luna>

All Security Officers, I want everyone put on high alert immediately. Please have all agents in the field that can get here in a reasonable time to do so.

Assemble all the available officers to be ready for further orders. In the meantime, prepare for communications to be set up with My Whee Fem.

Shark Lad, I have a specific mission for you of the utmost importance that cannot be given in earshot of any others. I cannot stress how important this is, and it involves protecting someone whose very identity is sought after by the Elders of the Universe.

Luna, lets talk further about your impressions of Zardi. Its obvious he's not to be trusted, but thus far, his claims of being here for our benefit don't really do much to prove it. We need some evidence that he's done something wrong, and that doesn't include his attacking us on his own property.

Someone get ahold of Kent Shakespeare, Shady and Lard Lad. Hopefully Lardy can shed some light on what the hell Zardi was talking about regarding Gladys.

And bloody liberty! Someone find Space Ranger!

<walks into conference room, tossing an omni-com on the table, and pouring himself a cup of coffee>

Maybe I'll get to take a shower today...? Doubtful.

<looks at chin stubble in the mirror>

Oh, and everyone get ready for a trip to the Cack's Realm. This will have to be an official delegation to Legion World.

We need Faraway Lad back. I'll handle the diplomacy. Which means I'll try, but make sure you still have sick days left.

I'm listening, boss ...

(blows on Cobalt Kid, his appearance is refreshed as if having taken the best shower in his life)

Well, if he is an Elder, where did he come from? How did he amass all that power? These are my two main concerns.

I don't think any that have met them feel all the comfortable around them, but there is something odd about that castle. When I first went in there, my powers were out of sorts, but now that he has given me an invite, I seem to be fine.

The nature of castle concerns me as well.

Hey guys. Got your message.

I come bearing good news.
Legion World Distance Tracing reports that the Space Ranger's ship has just re-entered this sector. He should be here soon.

I've also been consulting with the Mystic Affairs Division of the Bureau of External Affairs (tm). My top people believe that releasing the dragons from the cloud castle was an excellent move by Candle. It seems these are first-generation dragons - the real deal - not the corruptions and deviations that came later.

These are practically demigods in their own right. Out of Zardi's castle, he can no longer draw on their energies, and he may waste a good deal of energy himself in trying to recapture them. And if they opt to ally with us... well, that's unlikely, but still...

In other words, if Candle is willing to lead him on a wild dragon hunt, all the better. Kudos to her for realizing what we all were so quick to second-guess.

I tried to reach Lardy... his communicator is off. My gut feeling is that he's just taking an evening off.

Kent, is it to be concluded that anything with in the castle of magic origin is his to feast off of? I wonder if it is only achieved by the beings choice or can he gain power from any being as long as they are in his castle?

As for Lard Lad, we should probably find some way of getting a hold of him, I think it would prove prudent to have a man of his poilitical stature informed to the minute as to what is going on.

I think that's part of what I felt. At the same time one is induced - or should I say seduced - to stay, one's magic is syphoned off.

I suspect one must be a willing contributor in order for him to use your power. It would fit his MO of luring rather than conquering.

Zardoz may not intentionally be a magic-vampire; he may be just as much of a euphoria-junkie as he has made his collection.

hang on...

I just got a message from Rocky. Lardy is on his way over.

(as if on cue...)

<'ports in>

Hey, everybody.

<aside to Luna> I'll need to talk to you in private after we've all had a pow-wow.

<to Cobalt> Good to see ya, buddy! I trust you let Ol-Vir have it?

<to everyone> Alright, LMB leader in the house. Kent, can you give me a threat assessment on this Zardi situation?

Sure.

This Zardi fellow is an Elder, one of the original immortals of this universe. He collects magickal people, creatures and artifacts in his floating cloud castle.

Magickal people/beings who spend time there - say an hour or so - tend not to want to leave. My theory is that he is able to use their magickal energies himself.

He apparently has a fairly representative set of beings from all worlds' mythologies and traditions.

He has thus far avoided hostilities, although there's been some button-pushing.

I think he could blow us all away if he chose. I think he's just as interested in the challenge of luring his targets as he is in the actual acquisition.

The problem with all the intel that has been gathered, is that nothing that the Office has produced has had any clear actions as to how me stop him if the need arises.

We need to find a way to put him out of commission if he ever decides to go against Legion World.

Kent, do you think there is any way we can get a Security Officer in the castle to get some feedback on the castle? If it is feeding him power, than perhaps the castle has some sort of enchantment or is a totem of some sort.