Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Every 10 Years Forum Lies! All Lies!!!

Marriage has always been between one man and one woman.

Right after they let those people start marrying, my husband left me and got engaged to the entire NHL, including the towel boys.

Feminisim encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians.

Quis made that up. Nobody that delusional about feminism could ever so much as get away with walking the streets, much less be hailed as a serious thinker.

All women should shut up and get back in the kitchen where they belong!

This is my kitchen . Neat, huh?

I am the new Executive Editor of DC comics. I plan to run a tight ship. I will increase the number of gratuitous deaths (see Giffen vs Karate Kid) which will be reversed within a year (see Donna Troy). Any deaths that were meaningful will be cheapened by bring the character back (see Barry Allen). I will encourage all writers to just rewrite old stories as they would have written it (see Green Lantern origins storyline). Multi-issue crossovers will be the rule provided that we can make sure there are issues that are delayed and later parts of the story come out first.

What we need now is a letter-writing campaign to the high rollers at DC comics. Something else else along the lines of:


Dear DC Comics Big Kahuna Person,

Your universe suffers a serious shortage of interchangeably-pneumatic females running around practically naked. Please do something about this at your earliest convenience.

Sincere Thanks,

Your Biggest Fan.

I invented soup.

I've savored Poi on my own private island in Hawaii.

I've eaten Poi in my lifetime to date.

Dear DC Comics Big Cheese,

Do you think you will ever hire George Perez to draw another book? What if it entails 150 characters and needs to be released every month? Will you hire him back then? What if it needs to coincide with other storylines for that quarter? Will you hire him back then? Eh?! Eh?! Or do you think you have finally and sufficiently burned out one of the best comic book artists in existence?

I hate bluegrass music. Bleah.

The garbage strike, now in day 17, is making this city a better place to live.

I especially enjoyed my trip to the closest 'temporary waste holding and transfer station'.

A large parking lot for an arena and softball fields is not now stacked 10 feet high with garbage.

There are not 30 sites set up around the city.

The skunks, raccoons, vermin, seagulls and flies have not taken over the city.

I believe the right of city workers to bank up to 18 sick days a year and get them paid out after 10 years of service is fair.

I so enjoy early morning carpool drivers who honk their honk several times to let their rider know that they are here. It is true that if you are awake, then everyone else should be too or else they are slackers!

Nothing's more fun that being sick in the summertime. Unless it's one's partner being sick in the summertime.

I Dick Cheney and Bill Kristol and Karl Rove and Glen Beck.

I wish my vacation would go by a little faster!

I'm a little teapot, short and stout
Here is my handle, here is my spout.

I am very excited about our military bases in Iraq and consider them a credible demonstration of impending "peace."

Oh, and I consider them a fantastic use of the public monies, as well.

Pres. Obama was born in Kenya and therefore not eligible to be president.

Pres. Obama is an illegitimate president because, well, liberals voted for him.

I had a horrible time in Boston, especially that dinner the night before I came home!

On the other hand, I'm so sorry to be back in Houston.

There's nothing I like about either city.

I'm really glad I'm not in San Diego right now. And I sure wouldn't have wanted to attend that awful dinner with Quis and Rocky.

Hawaii was founded by a Scotsman named Shamus McHawaii who sold it to the United States in 1798 for 200 1/2 gold doubloons. The McHawaiian Islands dropped the Mc shortly thereafter. It was eventually picked up by a traveling clown/short order cook named Ronald Donald.