Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board ROLL CALL: LMBers head count!

*An exhausted but eager Cobalt Kid returns from a secret mission*

More and more LMBers are arriving...good. We need to be united now. No Security Office, no RMB, just one united LMB.

<smacks Poverty Lad on the back>

Even the crazy's are coming out, eh?

<keeps walking and joins Lardy>

I've been getting updates on whats been going on here, Lardy. Don't worry too much about what the Ranger is saying. We'll have all the proof we need--once we find Exnihil. Whatever he's going through, everything he knows--it'll exonerate you for all the crimes you're accused of. So long as Ex is okay...so lets hope for Mort's sake that he is.

The one real crime committed was me freeing you from the Security Office. But as longtime Chief of Security, the tough judgement calls have always been mine to make.

<looks to see whose listening in; then, comfortable with those that are, speaks more quietly to Lardy>

I've found something of grave importance old friend. You're not going to believe this...but Exnihil has been leaving me clues all over Legion World for weeks--maybe even months! I know how weird that sounds, so hold on before you respond. I believe he's traveling backwards through time.

He left me information--which I've now destroyed. But now before I memorized what he said. I think he's given me the secrets to what Phineas B. Fuddle has planned!

Crap on a stick! Uh...<quiets his voice down>...so I take it you're reluctant to share it with everyone yet? Is it because roll call isn't complete...or is there someone here you don't trust?

Yep.
Brobdignagion Bob and his cohort of colorful hench-persons extraordonaire, standing by and ready to stomp boo-tay.

Now, if the Clubhouse is ok for this little(?) gathering I can have the Red Chef send over something to gnosh on. Super-heroing is hungry work.

<aside to Lardy>

That's exactly it Lardy. Ex left me two things. But most important is that it appears there is still one LMBer in Phineas' employ. But who? I thought we had cleared us all out by now--with Ex being controlled by Traveler, and Gary Concord having made the ultimate sacrifice for our side, and even Tomahawk's apparent demise, it would seem that was every suspect.

Unless...

<eyes Lard Lad Prime>

...yeah. <looks at Prime, as well>

I must say, though, I'm flattered that you haven't been thrown by his appearance as many of the others have! Only you and Rocky have remained unswerving. But...<hushes voice even more>...how can you be so sure he's the fake and I'm not? Even I've had my doubts! There's so much about my resurrection I don't understand, Des--and he does bear the scars I had when I died...and inexplicably came back without!

Can I...can we...trust me? What if I'm a sleeper or something?

You're not, Lardy. Don't ask me how I know, I just know. Its 10 years of instinct. From being an LMBer, from being Chief of Security and from being your friend.

Having you around like old times...well, its keeping me upbeat. Because times are tough right now. We've been suspicious of each other, divided and on the defensive for months. Some of us have been sent elsewhere and possibly died. And you and I are in major trouble with the law. Not to mention my personal life has taken a turn for the worse the likes of which haven't been seen in years. But I can feel the tide turning...it happened when Concord showed he was heroic after all. That changed things...its shifting back in our favor, even though I fear the worst is yet to come.

You're you--and that gives me trust that we'll make it through this. Otherwise who knows what I'd be doing right now (and what the consequences would be...)

I hope I find out what the deal was that brought me back from the dead, Des. It's the not-knowing that's feeding all this self-doubt I'm having. I think Dru had something to do with it...but there's more to it, I'm sure.

Well, pal, you're faith is good enough for me! (I can't begin to describe how awesome that feels!)

So...<looks around>...what do we do next? And do you have any idea who this other Lardy is?

I don't have the faintest clue. Everything tells me I should know, but I've just been so focused on solving this Phineas dilemna...

I've literally been fighting against him for over a year, whether I realized who he was or not. I'm so glad its almost all coming to an end. Retiring from the Security Office, leaving the LMB...it was all a public front while I figured it out. Good ol' Mayavale gave me that advice.

But that is why I'm reluctant to reveal Phineas plans just yet. Though perhaps the time for secrets is over. We need to be ready to move, and soon...

<stands with Lard Lad Prime>

You seem unusually quiet, Lard Lad. I can tell thou art anxious, but we must wait until the forces have gathered. Yellow Kid is doing a good job, and tis best we await Space Ranger's return.

Notice the return of Lash Lad and Caliente, two much beloved and strong members of the LMB. They shall be extremely useful in the upcoming struggles.

<rubs brige of nose>

That's odd...I just had the oddest feeling. As if someone just... stepped over my grave or something . Weird, eh?

Anyway, as I said, things are rough, but hey, are personal lives seem to be on the upswing these days, and I can't remember the last time that happened for us both at the same time!

So about Phineas plans, Lardy...

<to Roy> I've been keeping an eye on Cobalt and the imposter, Roy. It is clear that Cobalt believes that one is truly his friend and that I am the one not to be trusted. All of the wayward, suspicious glances the two cast my way--and the others, too. Clearly, they recognize the imposter as their newly-elected leader. Why can no one see that he will bring about our ruin? Why must they reject all the glaring evidence against him?

<motions toward Space Ranger> Even the Ranger is backing off on him! He was my best hope to protect us, and now, he's backed off because of a woman's admonishment!

<looks back at Roy> Roy, you and I must keep an eye on the imposter and his dupe Cobalt. I've foreseen that the feaux Lard Lad will turn against them all! We must be vigilant!

My agents back at HQ have been scouring the 'the google' for useful information and the first 6 pages show absolutely NO Phineas B. Fuddle message boards anywhere.

None.

Some old reviews.

A few entries mentioning "merchandise".

And one ancient Jules Verne message board where there's a brief 30 post discussion about PBF that ended waaaaayyy back when in the year double-0.

This guy is here to stay. He has nowhere else to go and that makes him very ..very ..dangerous.

Also he's a time traveler, it's his shtick.

<Walks over to LLP and Sir Roy>

My hearing is very acute Lardy, so I'd like to correct something you seem to believe.

During our time in the Banned'em Zone there was only one individual who couldn't put his personal issues aside and work together with the others for the good of Legion World.

<Jabs a finger into LLP's Chest> <span style="font-size: 20px;">YOU!</span>

Now we face the same type situation...

This time you better throw down with the enemy when the time comes, instead of attacking someone on our side...


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(When you have super-hearing, people can't talk behind your back)

(Hm, the Ranger seems to be calling out Lard Lad Prime. I think he's got the right idea...we need to get this all out in the open now so we can focus on Phineas. I need to reveal his plans, but if Lard Lad Prime is finally about to reveal himself...)

Man, Des...<motions toward LLP>...he seems to be geeting more fidgety by the moment, like he's seething. He's getting closer to...something...and I don't think we're gonna like it very much when he gets there!

<as Ranger walks away, LLP thinks> How DARE he?!?! Who does that insignificant maggot think he IS?!?! Does he know not who I am? I am--! Wh-what was I going to say? Not sure...but it wasn't going to be "Lard Lad".....

<motions his head very obviously towards Lard Lad Prime, almost as if he's inciting LLP's anger on purpose>

I think you're right. This volcano is about to blow...

<notices gesture, storms up to Cobalt> WHAT?!?! Have you got something to say to ME?!?!?

<shoves his shoulder> Say it to ME--like a man!!!

<feels burning feeling with Lard Lad Prime's touch>

Easy "pal"! Seems like you're the one with a lot to say!

Look, whoever you are, you're confused, and you're unsure, its obvious. We can help you. Obviously, you're not Lard Lad, but there must be a reason why you're stuck this way.

<puts hand on Lard Lad Prime's shoulder, knowing the reaction likely will be volatile>

Let me help you. You can trust me--I'm the legendary hero Cobalt Kid

I AM Lard Lad you sprocking IDIOT!!! YOU are supposed to be my best friend!!! Instead...<looks at Lardy with burning purple eyes>...you stand by HIM!!!

<grabs the fabric on either side of the neck of Cobalt's costume and lifts him up in the air> WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU!!! HOW COULD YOU HAVE LEFT ME TO BE TORTURED BY THE ANTI-MODERATOR ALL THOSE YEARS!!!! How...could...what?

<drops Cobalt>

Wha-what in the sprock...am I talking about?

<grabs his temples as they begin to throb>

<eyes Lardy, Space Ranger and everyone else and waves them off to let them know he's okay and in control>

That's it...let the information process...don't run from it...

You are not Lard Lad. But you're angry, and you've been missing for a long time. Anti-Moderator, you say?

<gets closer to Lard Lad Prime once more>

What have you forgotten? In the immortal words of the real Lard Lad: Who Are You?

<massaging his temples, as if to milk them of memory> I...I died. Not once, but twice. I died in the fusion powersphere...came back...and some time later--I died again...but I didn't. It...it's all so confusing.....

Keep going...its starting to come back to you...you've died twice you say. When was the second time...?

...something about 'spoiled lettuce'? No, no Entropy Spinach! I..I gave my life to take out the Entropy Spinach, yes. Did it in...in place of a friend...a pet?

<thinks> But...didn't die...was thrown into...into pocket universe? Yes...was comatose. That's when...that's when Anti-Moderator found me.....<shivers>

?
Could Lardy be a Carggite?

What if this is just a distraction engineered by Fuddle?

Bob! Take the Orange Agents and set up a perimeter and a teleport scrambler. Get some transport out there too. I get the feeling that once things start poppin' we're going to be pretty busy and I don't want anybody to have to drop whoever they're punching to take an injured Legionnaire to Medicus.
Make sure there are a few extra bikes please, not everybody can fly.