Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board ROLL CALL: LMBers head count!

The Anti-Moderator is long dead, friend. That means you've been lost all these years...?

But--entropy spinach?

(Pro-D?)

No...no...the Anti-Moderator reincarnated! Don't you remember? It happened not long before Legion World...was...des-destroyed? <looks around, haunted> What? How can this be here? It was gone...without even a trace? When did it--?

Arrgh! My head!!!

<stumbles backwards>

Who...? Who are you...?

<eyes Lard Lad Prime quite differently now>

Are you even of this world...or this time?

I...I'm YOU!!! <points at Lard Lad> And you're ME!

<looks around> This has all happened before--and will happen again!!!

<looks at all the people encircling him> So many of you in this room will die! <his gaze lingers on certain of them> And all of THIS...<raises both arms up>...will be GONE--sooner then you think! The LMB will be no more...for nearly five years! And when it comes back, it's not enough! You will need...ME! Only I can bring order to a universe gone chaotic!

<smiles madly> You will ALL bow to me! And whoever doesn't will die by my hand! By the hand of Lard Lad! I will reign over the universe and you will call me by a different name, a name that will instill fear throughout the cosmos!!!

<laughs in a manner that unsettles all and chills them to the bone>

I don't think I like those choices. So lets add a few new ones...

<Abin is above Lard Lad Prime facing him from one point in a triangle, the other two points are Pagan Lass and Space Ranger. All three are ready for action...>

Your Call Cobie; You want him taken down?

Shit! <to LLP> Calm down, man! Easy! You're NOT me! Legion World is right here, right now! Okay...so maybe you're A Lard Lad, but you're in the wrong universe or something....

<holds out his hand> We can get you...

"...help, man!" <LLP completes>

Was I ever actually that stupid?!?! I suppose I was! I remember trying that stupid gesture when I was you! I also remember how much THIS stung! <blasts Lardy into the wall>

Fools! All of you are FOOLS! And I will suffer your company no longer! The cloud on my memory has been lifted, and I have an appointment...with Phines B. Fuddle!!!

<grins as he sees Abin, Pagan and ranger closing in> I learn a LOT of new tricks in the years to come! <creates a Lard Forceshield and expands it suddenly, violently outward and stuns them>

It's time to rewrite history so that my reign may take place years earlier than it would have! The Reign of the...

<span style="font-size: 99px;">DARK LARD!!!</span>

<shrieks with laughter, then bursts out of the ceiling to the meeting hall>

<Pagan Looks down at Cobalt and makes a small gesture. Suddenly he can hear her clearly, despite the distance between them>

There have been a series of time disturbances across Legion World Something else else major has been altered in the time stream. I have no idea what it was but It affects You and Brit personally more than any other LMBPers...

Shakes, The Security Office, and the Tobbaconist Shop have all had time disturbances, there may have been other locations but I haven't seen them yet...

We need to end this and talk...

<Dark Lard's force field knocks her out of his way...>

Pagan???

RING, TAG DARK LARD, MAINTAIN TRACKING ON HIM, PROJECT WHEN AND WHERE HE WILL LAND.

<Flies to Pagan Lass's side>

......good...lord......

<Lands next to Lard Lad and Cobalt Kid>

Okay... I have to admit I didn't see that coming... Maybe I was wrong about a few things...


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(But not everything...)

Shit! He..he's GOT to be some otherdimensional dupe, right? Like Lard Lord was? There-there's just NO SPROCKIN' WAY I'm gonna turn out like THAT!!!

<shakes his head> We've gotta stop that sunnuvabitch, guys! Phineas...and now some evil dupe of me? We can't waste any more time! <looks around> Hmmm...almost everybody's here...just a few stragglers missing...

Des, where the hell's Lolita?

<Cobalt and the others react with a total lack of comprehension>

Huh? Are there other Lolitas I don't know about?!?! You know: 'Jailbait Lass'?

Who is this... Jailbait Lass?

And more importantly who are her friends...

We're her friends! Especially him! <points to Cobalt> None of you remember her?

<realization dawns> Crap on a stick! Phineas has wiped her out! <thinks> So why do I remember her?!?!

Hmmm... She was close to Cobalt?

Was she close to anyone else?

<Cobalt takes it all in, all the while ducking from Dark Lard's attacks>

Lardy--wha--? Jailbait Lass? Never heard of her! We don't have time for this nonsense! Everybody move!

<flies down and scopes up Lash and Caliente to protect them from attack>

Pagan, I read you loud and clear. It would make sense with everything Phineas has done this far. He must have somehow caused this Dark Lard character to come backwards in time.

<looks at Lardy and sees his friend visibly shaken, much like he was prior to this entire saga beginning>

Lardy, you've got snap out of it! There's no way this guy could be you. It must be some alternate future!

<despite saying this, Cobalt Kid recalls some other events that once predicted a dark future; he also recalls his old assistant dealing with such things; what was her name? And why suddenly forgetting her?>

...jailbait lass...?

<a sudden yearning hits him; an emptiness>

No, gotta shake that off...Pagan, Brit and I are the most likely to be affected by this? Who knows what else he might bring forwards or backwards in time? Judging by this Dark Lard character, Phineas just brought forth someone of equal power to even him!

<at this point, Dark Lard has left>

<turns to Space Ranger>

Told you something was wrong with that guy! You've got to start trusting me again, Ranger. I know I probably screwed up when I ripped apart the Security Office. But it was always you who kept me in line. Now you're back--and I'm willing to admit when I'm wrong but I need you to trust me like the old days...

<thinking> Damn! They really don't remember her! If Lolita never existed, there's no telling what the repercussions to the timeline might be! If I remember her though, for whatever reason, there's still hope!

<interrupts Cobalt and Ranger> Des, you're right...we've got work to do, but...you've gotta continue to trust me, here. Trust me when I tell you that the timeline has changed! I don't know why, but I can apparently remember things about the true timeline that maybe no one else can. And something VERY important to you is amiss!

<to everyone> The traitor is flushed out--Des, tell us everything you've got, so we can get Phineas and this "Dark Lard" before he achieves his goal!

Okay, you’re right. The time for secrets has passed and its time to lay it all on the table. When I was healing the injured security officers at Medicus Two, I took the time to meditate and see if I could come up with some answers as to why my healing powers were not working on myself. And in doing so, I recovered some memories of when I was comatose. Apparently, Exnihil has been leaving me clues across Legion World—and throughout the last several weeks, if not months!

With Phineas now active on Legion World, he’s using his control over the forces of time and space—which are naturally strong on Legion World for whatever reason. Exnihil is still under his control, captured as his pawn. The good news is Ex is alive. The bad news is, he’s traveling through time, serving Phineas in various ways. So everything we can do to stop him has already happened and we were unsuccessful. But in doing so, he left me these various clues, which took me to the Security Office hours ago, where I uncovered his note for me.

<at this, Cobalt pauses, remembering that something very personal and emotional occurred at the Security Office, but the memory simply isn’t there; he must be overtired>

At 12 key places across Legion World there are buried old timepieces. Each one is a fragment of Phineas B. Fuddle's Universal Orrery... a type a clockwork engine in orbit above Legion World. Even now the Orrery exists, though it is impossible to see by normal eyes. When all 12 timepieces are activated, Phineas' plan will go into full effect. He intends to roll back time itself on Legion World, effectively regressing it back to its birth and, by doing so, recreate it in his own image. And from what we are seeing on Legion World, apparently he is begun to do this.

So far, Ex has captured a large amount of the 12 timepieces, but its impossible to say how many. As I said, all of this occurred in the past.

He’s likely been able to bring forth a future version of Lard Lad to do his bidding—and who knows what other damage to the time stream?

Exnihil’s other advice was that a traitor was in our midst. And apparently that was the Dark Lard. So now that leaves only us, the LMBP. And with Phineas’ plans laid out on the table.

We’ve been divided, turned against one another and harboring secrets and animosity for many months. We’ve been tricked, beaten and hurt. But here we are…all of us once more by each other’s sides. I think its time we came together once again. We need to find his Orrery, and we need to find what parts of the timestream he has changed. How we’ll do that, I haven’t the faintest clue, but we will. So long as we all stand together.

Look, guys...I've been elected leader, and I know some of you have issues with that. <eyes Ranger> But the time for division is over! When this is finished, when we've finished doing what it is we do best, Des and I will answer whatever charges need to be answered for. But it won't mean a hill of beans if there's no Legion World or LMB to defend! Let's find Phineas and this "Dark Lard" and kick their asses!

<looks around> Agreed?

<looks toward Abin> Right now, your ring's our best bet. I need you to follow whatever trace that Dark Lard left and do some recon. If you need to, take someone with you and report back ASAP. Sound cool?

<smiles>

Well, leader...I'm ready to follow. It was an honor the first time, all those years ago...and its an honor again.

Thanks, Des. Excuse me a moment...

...sorry, got caught up in the moment. Pagan, Jailbait Lass was very important to the Security Office as a whole...and she was very close, particularly to My and Britney. I...don't really know you very well, but it's possible she was important to you as well. We've got to bring her back somehow. Any ideas?

I don't know if it's an honor... but if you want to know where that "Dark Lard" character is...

RING, REPORT STATUS OF TRACKING DARK LARD.

SUBJECT ENTERED THE SHIELDED AREA OF THE ARTIFICIAL MOON.

RING, QUERY: ARTIFICIAL MOON?

THE SATELLITE DESIGNATED THE ORREY IS AN ARTIFICIAL MOON. "DARK LARD" HAS ENTERED THE TECHNOCRONIAL SHIELDING THAT BLOCKS VIEW OF THAT SATELLITE.

Okay Leader Man, what do you make of that?

Cobalt, Britney, and My... Interesting...

Cobie are you up for a seance?

Crapsticks.
HQ is useless here, anything that's been changed will be in the records just as if it's always been that way.

Only a very few of us can time travel and of those I think I'm the only one who can carry passengers so I guess it's up to me once we identify the Fuddle's entry point into LW's time line.

Pick the team to go and I'll be transport on this once we have our coordinates.

Bob! What happened?