Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Quislet's Super Law Firm...of Space!

About STU's alleged slip and fall in SHAKES:

1. Since SHAKES is subject to California law, he has only one year from the date of alleged injury to file suit.

2. STU is an employee of SHAKES (official mascot), therefore, his alleged injury is an employment related injury. His sole recourse is Worker's Compensation (Bwaaah haa haaa haa - evil laugh). The statute of limitations for WC claims is likely shorter than one year.

3. Third, STU is a well known booze hound. If he fell, there is no doubt that he contributed significantly to his injuries.

4. Fourth, we are well insured. Please submit your claim to our carrier. Their claims adjuster, D. Nyem Awl, will contact you shortly.

Hey Quis just checking the place out!!!!

if my brother is inhabiting the body of a person not related to me, is he still my brother?

STU's status as an employee is questionable. Does he, as offical mascot, receive compensation? If he does not, then he is merely a patron of your establishment and may sue on the tort of negligence.

And depending on the nature of STU's fall, whther he was intoxicated or not may be irrelevant.

Does Mr. Awl work for the firm Dewey, Cheetum, & Howe?

Icey,

Would you like a private tour of my orifices er... I mean offices?

Aren't we all brothers? Oh wait that's philosophy not law.

This seems to be an unique issue never before tried before a court. It appears to be an issue of fact best left to a trier of facts. However a telling fact is that you refer to this person as your brother. Therefore you must, on some level, accept as your brother.

Thanks for the advice, Quis!

I've got another question for ya.

A poster who's lurking here keeps pinching my butt! However, since she or he doesn't actually show up on the "Recent Visitors" line, I don't know who it is.

Can I simply sue Legion World for allowing this sort of appalling behavior to go on? (I think we can assume that the culprit(s) could be any number of the posters here. My butt, after all, is too temptingly pinchable to resist.)

Please help...!

STU,

You seem to be in a sue-happy mood. (I suppose I better be careful or you may sue me too. So I guess it it time for Disclaimer: I will not be giving any legal advice that you should take. The information I give is for entertainment and education purposes only. If you have a real legal issue, you should consult a lawyer in your own area of the world. )

That said, now let's see this allegedly pinchable butt.

Hmmmmmmm!!!!!!! Yes definitely pinchable. Still it wasn't Legion World who pinched it, was it?

You really can't sue anyone (whether a business or a person) for the actions of another. Unless, of course, that person or business actively encouraged, endorsed, or tolerated the said actions and had a duty to prevent said actions from occurring. For example, the owner of a hockey rink doesn't have a duty to keep you warm. even if you personally don't know that hockey rinks are cold. However, most businesses have a duty to prevent sexual harassment (defined as unwanted contact, either physical or verbal, that is of a sexual nature).

That being said, have you reported these butt pinchings to the proper Legion World authority (ies)? If so, what was their response? If they investigated and made efforts to stop this activity (if it is unwanted), then they are off the hook as it were.

Not to butt in on all this lawyer stuff, but maybe STU should just invest in some flea powder and a good vacuum. The "pinching" might go away.

Fat Cramer,

Seeing as you gave practical advice and not any legal advice, we can let it pass.

However, I will have to bill you for taking my valuable time in drafting and writing this response. Oh and for some legal research to make sure that your advice wasn't legal advice.

Hmmm is there any other way I can pad this bill? Oh did I say that out loud? Umm If it pleases the Court, I withdraw that last statement about padding a bill. There, now that it is off the record, it is like I never said it.

I reported it to Nighty. He responded by pinching my butt!

Well, it sounds like you have a case.

If you would like to pursue it, I would be willing to represent you.

My fee is $950.00 an hour. You will also be responsible for paying the expenses of any expert witnesses, legal research, filing fees, postage, and copying. I'll require a retainer of $100,000.00, to be replenished on a monthly basis as needed.

How much is Legion World and/or Nightcrawler worth, by the way?

Oh wait, STU. I just realized as I am on a retainer to have this thread on Legion World, there is a conflict of interest. I can't represent you.

Registering the Legion World domain name: $100

Maintaining the Legion World server: $250

Seeing Nighty flustered and flabbergasted : priceless

STU,

You might want to be careful that Nightcrawler doesn't file a harassment suit against you for filing a frivolous lawsuit.

A court on its own could fine you for filing a frivolous lawsuit. Defined in this case as one meant only to harass.

Oh, I meant seeing Nighty flustered and flabbergasted by other stuff -- not necessarily by a lawsuit.

And I probably won't sue him for pinching my butt anyway. I kind of, well, encouraged it... by wearing such tight jeans.

Quis, since my salary in infinite, I think I can make us both some money by asking you legal questions

First, can a judge tell anyone in the courtroom that their being held for Contempt of Court (if that's what it's really called)?

Here are the various definitions of Contempt of Court that I have found:

From uscourts.gov/glossary.html from courttv.com And from dictionary.law.com So Yes Virginia, there is Contempt of Court. But the judge can't just point to you and say you are in Contempt of Court. Although Judges do have almost absolute authority in her/his courtroom. You do need to be doing something, even a passive something like wearing a "The Judge stinks" T-shirt.

Continuing the contempt of court theme...

1) If I'm appearing in court pro se, may I refer to any lawyer present as 'My learned friend", or would that be considered flipping the bird, since I'm not a lawyer?

2) I've noticed every time I talk to you, it costs me money. But since I'm living in Canada, and all my assets (such as they are) are in Canada, can you collect if I refuse to pay?

Your learned friend, FC

P.S. STU = suing them ubiquitously?

Ubiquitously, Unrelentingly, and Unabashedly!

1) I think it would depend on your tone. Lawyers are a cliquey group (You have to pass a test and pay money to be a lawyer. We call ourselves Doctors having gotten a Juris Doctor degree.) So the lawyer on the other side would probably get annoyed with you no matter what your tone. Now whether the judge thinks it is a contempt of court for you to address the opposing lawyer in such a manner depends on how cliquey the judge is and-or how much the judges likes or hates the opposing lawyer.

2) I could go to a Canadian Court and ask them to enforce the contract between us. That contract being that you would pay for each question answered. Because you are a Canadian citizen , the Candian court would have jurisdiction over you. Even though I am not a Canadian citizen, I would still be able to appeal to a Canadian court, just as you could go to a US court to sue me.

Now if a Canadian court ordered you to pay me and you refused, then the court could hold you in contempt of court. Also the Canadian court would also be able to use it power to seize your assets in order to pay any judgement against you.

Hey, Quis,

Going back to a Legion story of yore, suppose someone sued Brainiac 5 for the damage his creation, Computo, caused. Would they have a good case?

I'm thinking primarly of ADVENTURE # 340-341, here. Though would the postboot Brainy also be liable for damages caused by Computo and Robotica?

let's not read too much into my economical phrasing, my learned friend.

Well, I'll take the easier part first. I think that the reboot Computo and Robotica were declared sentient and autonomous. Therefore, Brainy would not be responsible for any damage done by Computo/Robotica. Much like parents are not responsible for damages caused by their 18 year old (age of majority) children.

Now, the pre-boot Computo was sentient, but not considered autonomous, much like a 10 year old child. I believe that there is no hard and fast rule as to whether the parents of a 10 year old child is legally responsible for damages caused by him/her. Again I believe that in cases where a 10 year old causes damages, the victim will try to sue the parents for negligent supervision of the child rather than for the actual intentional tort of the child. Because unless you are Macaulay Culkin, most parents have deeper pockets than their children.

So, I do think that pre-boot Brainiac 5 would have had to face many lawsuits.