Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Victorian Flirting Thread

*Hands Mr. Ram Boy a fan* You will find this helps to hide a blush (or flirtingly show a bit of a blush)

* sets himself gently upon a davenport and begins to fan *

Thank you ever so much, Mr Quislet (you are indeed a gentleman). And yes, Mr. Rockhopper. I am a bit parched (excuse my language) and some of Aunt Ida's tonic sounds a delight! Simply a delight!

*sips*

I've never had the pleasure of meeting the good lady, but I have heard some wonderful things about her from my Aunt Flora.

*sips some more*

They used to do Charity work together on the Committee for the Beautification of the Avatars of the Glorious Former Posters of Legion World.

*puts down glass and grabs pitcher*

-hic- Truth be told, I never cared much for Aunt Flora. Bit of a holy terror that one. Why, Do you no, At her funerl i Was almost tempted to slap the hsit out of her in the casket -hic- Yup

*chugs*

Ididnt thoe...Shuld've...butididnt -hic-
Are yu hot? Its burnin up in here...and whats with this sofa...its REALLY REALLY RED. Ithink im gonna be sick...

Oh My!!!!!

Jeeves!!! Please help Mr. Ram Boy to the WC. and please do be quick about it. I've just has the sopha re-upholstered in a red crushed velvet.

Oh all this excitement is too much for me. I feel a little faint Mr. Rockhopper Lad.

Oh, my dear Mr Quislet, please have a seat on the sopha whilst I fetch you a small glass of Aunt Ida's Special Lemonade--just a small glass, mind you. I shouldn't want for you to overindulge in such a frail state.

No, get the medicinal sherry on the sideboard. *Places back of wrist on forehead*


Oh, I knew I should not have left that pitcher of Aunt Ida's Special Lemon-ade out. Now I'm not one to talk but this is not the first time I heard of Mr. Ram Boy over-indulging. Were you at the last box lunch social?

Yes, I was there, but I shan't have any further discussion of Mr Ram Boy's vices. It would not befit your station, Mr. Quislet.

Ah, here is a nip of that medicinal sherry you so enjoy. Careful does it, now. Sip it daintily.

Oh thank you my dear Rockhopper Lad *takes a sip*

Won't you have a seat? *pats a spot on the sopha* You know Mother was not one to stand for wagging tongues. Still every now and then a good airing does wonders.

Arrrrr, maties! Swab the decks! Batten down the hatches! Yaaarrrr!!!

Egads! What an uncouth ruffian! And what a ripe fragrance he brings too. *pulls out fan*

*Mr Ram Boy returns revived and refreshed*

Mr Quislet and Mr Rockhopper, I can only express my sincere apologies for my uncivilized conduct earlier. I simply do not know what came over me. And might I add that your water closet is simply lovely. Indeed, it has the finest quality porcelain that I've had my head inside in quite a while.

*eyes the medicinal sherry but thinks twice about it*

Miss Teronna! How enchanting you look behind your fan. And Mr Lard Lad! What a pleasant surprise to see you here. I say, would that be a bottle of 75 proof spiced Jamaican rum in your trousers or are you just happy to be amongst such refined company?

Ahem... does no-one notice the flush upon my cheeks and the dewiness of my brow. I've just now returned from the fox hunt (no foxes were harmed), resplendent in my boots and tight breeches. Perhaps the attendant could bring me a gin and tonic with ice -- and a damp cloth for my brow.

Mr Fellows! How good of you to honor us with your company. Please forgive me for not recognizing you sooner, sir. You see when you first entered I thought that certainly this must be Adonis descended from Mt Olympus! And behold! He is flush with the dew from the rosy tipped fingers of Aurora herself!

*blush*

Ah, Mssrs. Ram Boy and Fellow, please to join us. There is ample room upon the sopha for all.

Would someone kindly accompany me to the sea-side bathing machine and assist me in the donning of my bathing costume?

Mr. Rat,

Don't tell me you are going to be scandelous and wear one of those that shows your ankles?

Now, Mr. Quislet, one must keep current with the times. It is perfectly respectable now-a-days to expose the ankles in one's bathing-costume.

On the other hand, should Mr. Rat be so bold as to expose his calves, I fear I should faint dead away.

I shudder to imagine what is next for today's "enlightened youth"... a bathing-costume that exposes one's navel? Why, the very idea!

I must confess that I find this bathing costume rather distasteful in another respect... when wet, the wool garment does cling too closely to the contours of my body, wholly revealing that which ought to be private.

I beg the indulgence of your opinion: do you find this aspect of my bathing costume to be a horrible affront to human decency?

Now, that I see it, I have to say "yes!" Please remove it at once! At once, I say!

I am indeed grateful for your wise counsel, Mr. Quislet.

I am also grateful that I am able to comply here, in the privacy of this gentleman's-only bathing machine. It would not do to have a member of the fair sex observe my unclothed form!

Now, can you offer me a suggestion of an alternative bathing costume that would comport with the demands of modesty?

I have always found it best to bathe au naturale when it is only me and my chums around.

I have heard of the "return to nature" movement. I believe Mr. John Harvey Kellogg is a strong proponent of those methods, which include the liberal employment of exercise and enemas.

But suppose I step into the water au naturale, and a lady should happen to wander by and espy my unclothed figure? Even if I should be partially submerged, I would imagine the sight of my bare shoulders and chest would induce gasps of shock in a member of the fair sex. How do you propose we avoid creating a scandal of such unthinkable proportions?

<Knock, Knock>

Forgive the intrusion, good sirs, but I had heard that this might be the place where a restless gadabout might, by chance, direct himself toward the dulcet euphonics of "His Master's Voice"?

<In unison, all present cock their heads quizzically to the left.>

Forgive me, is this not the "Victrola Flirting Thread"?

<Looks again toward the thread title>

Ah! Dear, me!

I beg your leave. Good Day, gentlemen.

My dear, Quislet, dost thou care to go for a swim?

<splash>

Yaaaar! Avast, me hearties!

Mr. Rat,

I suggest you make use of my private bathing pond. It is in the middle of a 10 acre plot of land, surrounded by a 9 foot high fence and I employ armed groundskeepers to make sure no one of the fairer sex disturbs my bathing.