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"Let's go see Mr. Whoopee!"

"Relax. Take off your pants."

"Those two concepts are antithetical..."

"I don't know why I'm baking my panties, but... that's what Mom suggested!"

"And she did a wonderful job with her voice. There was a terrible moment when I thought she was Milton Berle."

"Blackmail is such an ugly word."

"What? I didn't say anything about blackmail!"

"No, but I'm about to blackmail you, so I thought I'd bring it up."

What goes around, comes around."

"The idea that a monster from a ghost ship is dissolving men in Tokyo is nonsense."

"Aye, Aye, Captain!"

"Football is a fertility festival. Eleven sperm trying to get into the egg. I feel sorry for the goalkeeper."

"Brewed and bottled by Full Sail Brewing Co, Hood River, Oregon USA."

"A man growing old becomes a child again."

"This is not historically accurate. Medieval bakers did not dress like Chef Boy-Ar-Dee."

“I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.”

"On the bus ride to school today, we passed by Gramma's house. It got rolled with toilet paper last night, which I guess is no big surprise. I do feel a little bad because it looked like it was gonna take a long time to clean up. But on the bright side, Gramma is retired, so she probably didn't have anything planned for today anyway."

"Truth isn't always beauty, but the hunger for it is."

"That was a good drum break!"

"There's a party in my tummy, so yummy, so yummy"

"Pillbug please, Mr. Harrison. Let's get it right."

“Nothing burns like the cold.”

"I wouldn't swim in there if I were you. It's not nice to throw rubbish into the water."

"I wouldn't swim in there if I were you. It's not nice to throw rubbish into the water."

"The words came out before I could stop them, and I recognized the look on her face from those dreams where I die at the end..."

"Silence is also speech."

"You say it best when you say nothing at all"

"Do you know, I've had such a quantity of poetry repeated to me to-day...and it's a very curious thing, I think — every poem was about fishes in some way. Do you know why they're so fond of fishes, all about here?"