Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Bits o' Legionnaire Business Justice League Apocrypha: fanfics, fanfics discussion, and more

Welcome to the Justice League Apocrypha thread.

To start things off, here’s my general thoughts on the JLA:

For me, as with many of my generation, it began not with the JLA comic but with the Super Friends TV cartoon . In particular, one awesome episode of the next-to-last incarnation of Super Friends, where they foil Darkseid’s plan to de-power Superman, was the first indication of the sheer awesomeness of the concept.

I began reading superhero comics in the early 90s, and it was not the best of times for the Justice League. The Funny Era was on its last legs, and a five-year run of mediocrity was right around the corner...to be followed by a splashier kind of mediocrity in the form of Grant Morrison’s relaunch (this is in my humble opinion of course.) Shortly after this, I almost completely stopped reading comics for many years.

It’s only been since my all-out return to comics in 2005 that I learned to truly appreciate the JLA. Its mythos may not be as rich as the Avengers’ mythos, but there is something special there whose potential does get achieved from time to time.

The Crisis on Multiple Earths trades, reprinting the JLA/JSA team-ups in chronological order, have been especially delightful. If you haven’t read them yet, by all means do, especially Volume Three, which is heavy on the Len Wein era.

My JLA fanfics were borne out of frustration with James Robinson and with The Powers That Be at DC, for failing to realize the potential of what I thought was a great lineup. “...Than To Curse the Darkness” was originally supposed to be a one-off, but I enjoyed writing it so much that I’ve outlined many more JLA fanfics, and I hope you enjoy them.

Now for my JLA statistics list:

Favorite Era: Len Wein/Dick Dillin

Honorable Mentions: Steve Engelhart/Dick Dillin & Gerry Conway/George Perez

Least Favorite Era: Gerry Conway/J.M. DeMatteis/Luke McDonnell

Dishonorable Mention: Everybody-Has-A-JLA-Story-To-Tell/various creators

Most Underrated Era: Joe Kelly/Doug Mahnke

Most Overrated Era: Grant Morrison/Howard Porter

Most Disappointing Era: (tie) Mark Waid/Bryan Hitch/other artists & James Robinson/Mark Bagley

Favorite Story (single issue): JLA #200 (JLA Newbies vs. Appelaxians-controlled JLA Founders)

Favorite Story (two or more parts): JLA #100-102 (JLA/JSA/7 Soldiers of Victory)

Favorite Justice Leaguer Who Has or Has Had An Ongoing Book: (tie) Green Lantern & Green Arrow

Favorite Justice League Who Has Never Had An Ongoing Book: Donna Troy

And finally, a list of JLA fanfics with links and summaries, which will constantly be updated:

...THAN TO CURSE THE DARKNESS

Summary:

<span class="spoiler_containter"><span class="spoiler_wording">Click Here For A Spoiler</span><span class="spoiler_text">Starman is summoned to Talok VIII, the shadow planet, which is being invaded by an army from his home planet Talok III, which turns out to be led by Despero. Starman's summons was actually a trap set by Lydea Mallor, the now-insane champion of Talok VIII. In the end, Despero is defeated and Lydea is cured of her madness. Starman agrees to help rebuild the sister planets whenever he has the time.</span></span>

TRULY SUPER (see next post)

Summary:

<span class="spoiler_containter"><span class="spoiler_wording">Click Here For A Spoiler</span><span class="spoiler_text">Green Arrow tells Starman and Congorilla a lost tale of the Satellite Era in which Superman is captured by Darkseid and the JLA goes to rescue him.</span></span>

TRULY SUPER

“Ollie,” said Congorilla, “this is the best chili I’ve ever had. I could eat a whole pot of it.”

“Thanks, man.” replied Green Arrow.

Starman, for his part, found Green Arrow’s chili a bit too spicy for his taste, but he was too polite to say so. He and Congorilla had accepted Green Arrow’s invitation to join him for the night on monitor duty and swap war stories. With all the beer the trio was downing to cool off their burning mouths, the stories were coming fast and thick.

“So, Mik,” said Green Arrow, “you were saying that when you did that time-travel jazz, you actually met Kal-El’s dad??”

“Yeah,” said Starman, “really great guy, way ahead of his time. He’d have made a great superhero. I’m sure wherever he is, he’s very proud of Kal.”

“Kal...yup.” agreed Green Arrow. “All around good guy, that Kal. Total square, but a real sweetheart.”

“The whole universe is lucky that he is that way.” said Congorilla. “Can you imagine if he went bad?” He shuddered, as it brought back recent memories of the threat of a Despero-controlled Mon-El.

“I remember one of the few times he came close to going bad.” mused Green Arrow. “You won’t find it in the regular JLA files. I think I better start at the beginning.

“Kal had invited the whole JLA to Metropolis for Superman Day. The team was feeling especially chummy towards each other because we had just had the battle of the newbies against the founders who were being controlled by the Apellaxians; it had brought us all closer together.

“So there we all were, in full costume – me, Dinah, Hal, Diana, Ray, Arthur, Barry, J’onn, Ronnie, Zee, Reddy...the Hawks...and Mr. Sunshine himself, Bruce.

“The Superman Day parade was happening in all its pomp and circumstance. A little corny for my taste, but I was in a good mood and I kept that to myself.

“When suddenly, this cosmic portal opened in the middle of the parade. Some of the members recognized what the portal was and who entered through it – a squad of Parademons, Kalibak as first lieutenant, and in command...Darkseid himself!

“This was my introduction to the Big Bad of Apokolips. I don’t scare easily, but, man, I tell you, I had gooseflesh all over!

“Kal looked more pissed than I’d ever seen him. You don’t mess with Supes in his city, you just don’t. He took on Darkseid straight away, while Bruce, naturally, started signaling the rest of us like crazy. I could say a lot of bad things about Bruce, but the guy had a quick mind, I’ll give him that. Some of us started getting the civilians out of harms way, others started fighting Parademons. Katar, being Mister Macho, thought he could take on Kalibak alone...he had another thing coming. Ha.

“But seriously, after Kalibak had made short work of Katar, I got a glimpse of him attaching a green stone to his weapon. I yelled out, ‘Supes, watch out!’ But it was too late. Kalibak zapped him from behind with a Kryptonite ray, and Kal was down for the count.

“Then Darkseid slung Kal over his shoulder and said, in a voice like an erupting volcano, ‘We have what we came for! Let us depart now! And should anyone attempt to follow us, you will do so...to your doom!’

“We had no choice but to let him go or risk him finishing off Kal right there. Once he was gone, though, Bruce whipped out something from his all-purpose utility belt – a device just like the one that had brought the baddies here. Turns out he had swiped it when he and a few other Justice Leaguers had fought Darkseid before on his own turf.

“So we all teleported over to New Genesis, the planet of Darkseid’s sworn enemies. After greetings and introductions, we made a battle plan to invade Darkseid’s planet, Apokolips, and rescue Kal. Then we were split into teams of three – one New God, one Justice Leaguer who had fought Darkseid before, and one newcomer.

“I got teamed up with Big Barda and Ronnie. That Barda, woo boy, she was some lady! Tough as nails yet pretty as a picture! Couldn’t hold a candle to Dinah, of course, but she came damn close! And Ronnie clearly had a crush on her, like he’d had on Diana and on Power Girl. He was all, ‘Yes, ma’am, no, ma’am,’ until she said to him point blank, ‘I’m married.’ Ouch! Poor Ronnie! Heh heh heh.

“So we landed on Apokolips, all guns blazing, and each team took a different sector. Guess what? My team was the lucky one, if you can call it that!

“We stumbled into this lab, and Darkseid and Kal were there, as well as this guy in a red robe who was carrying on like a bad Shakespearean actor, ‘My marvelous mindwipe machine has turned Superman over to our side, master!’ And on and on.

“We made ourselves noticed, and ordered Darkseid and his flunky to let Kal go. Darkseid laughed in our faces and said, ‘I shall indeed let him loose – on all of you! Superman, show no mercy!’

“It was scary, I tell you. Supes facing us with a nasty expression on his face, his eyes glowing red, his fists clenched. I thought we were all goners.

“Suddenly, Supes turned and attacked Darkseid! Ha ha ha ha ha! He’d been playing along until just the right moment! The look on Darkseid’s ugly mug was priceless!

“Barda and Ronnie joined Kal in the assault on Darkseid. I knew I was outclassed against Darkseid, but I did have fun taking down his flunky.

“Darkseid did shake them off and get away, though. But it didn’t matter. Thanks to Kal’s incorruptible, purer-than-pure heart of gold, we had won the battle that day.”

“Wow.” said Starman.

“A toast,” said Congorilla, “to Kal-El. May he inspire us all to be more like him.”

“Amen to that, buddy.” said Green Arrow.

The trio clinked their beer bottles and went back to their chili and their stories.

NEVER THE END


NEXT: Doctor Light and Cyborg go to Japan, and we introduce a new villain: THE MONSTER-MASTER!

I've been reading comics all my life, but I only started actually collecting five years ago. The earliest exposure to the JLA I had was the first two secret files for Morrison's JLA, some old issues of the Detroit League, and ten issues of JLE. That and the cartoon.

Favorite Leaguers: Animal Man, Zatanna, and Martian Manhunter.

Thanks for chiming in, SK.

Given your list of favorite Leaguers, I think you'll be happy to know that J'onn J'onnz and Buddy Baker will be making appearances in future fanfics.

Well I put Buddy in as a favorite Leaguer because I tend to limit myself to listing two-to-three characters in "Favorite" categories, and Vertigo was filled up.

And I think I will be happy to know that.

Very nicely done FL. You have Ollie's voice down pretty well. Loved the Carter stuff too...love the relationship those two have.

Thank you, Dev.

As Cobie noted in an old Gymll's thread which I may just bump up, Ollie is a lot more difficult to write than he seems. It's a fun challenge, though.

Now that Carter's back from the dead, he may be stopping by for a visit. Will the old sparks fly again? Stay tuned.

Any story involving chili already has a point in my favor. I like that it was too spicy for Mik!

Engaging and concise. I wanted to read more, which I think says a lot.

Thanks, Lash.

Yeah, as much as I love Ollie, I've always believed he would tend to overseason his chili.

You may actually get your wish for more. I'm considering the possibility of having other Justice Leaguers tell the same story from their points of view.

In the meantime, though, the Monster-Master is waiting in the wings.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will not be able to bring you 'Big in Japan' this weekend.

What I can do is recommend a classic JLA story that you can read instead. This time, I am going to recommend issue 144 of the original JLA, by Steve Englehart and Dick Dillin. It's the TRUE origin of the JLA, set in a climate of Cold War paranoia, with lots of cool DCU guest stars.

In a last minute change of plans, I have decided to put BIG IN JAPAN on the back burner so I may first bring you...



Donna Troy could have been forgiven for thinking she had been thrown out of time. After all, she was battling an army of griffins, minotaurs, and many-headed hydras. But appearances were deceptive. These mythical beasts were in reality the twisted handiwork of the sorceress Circe, who had manipulated the bodies and minds of the animals at the Gotham Wildlife Preserve like so much molding clay – lions and birds of prey into griffins, buffalo and apes into minotaurs, and alligators and snakes into hydras.

As Donna struggled to subdue the beasts without injuring them, Circe herself cackled shrilly while Batman attempted to apprehend her without falling victim to her spells of seduction.

EARLIER THAT DAY, AT THE JLA SATELLITE...

“What we’re looking at,” said Batman to the other Justice Leaguers, “is a classic case of divide and conquer.” He pointed to the monitor, which was split into four screens, each showing a different crisis on Earth: Circe creating out-of-control beasts at the Gotham Wildlife Preserve, Poison Ivy wreaking havoc at the Opal City Botanical Gardens, Mirror Master making mischief at the Hall of Mirrors at a carnival in California, and Chronos running amok in Ivy Town.

“It’s no coincidence,” Batman continued, “that these crimes are occurring at the same time and that there’s no one but us to stop them. This has all been coldly calculated to leave our Satellite vulnerable to invasion. What we’re going to do...is give the mysterious mastermind behind this chaos exactly what he wants!”

CALIFORNIA, THE PRESENT TIME...

“A morge with spirit!” laughed Mirror Master, “That’s how I like ‘em!”

“I have far more than spirit,” snarled Doctor Light, “as you shall find out to your eternal regret.”

“Ye’ve got it all wrong there, lass!” replied Mirror Master, “For I am the kind of man who regrets nothing!”

Doctor Light struck at the Mirror Master in the form of a single focused beam. With great agility, Mirror Master dodged her attack, and she bounced off the mirror which he had been standing behind. Whipping out a prism from his pocket, he caught Doctor Light and split her into several separate Doctor Lights, each corresponding to a different color in the spectrum.

This was a shock to the system for Doctor Light, who screamed in pain and confusion as Cyborg attempted to literally pull himself together after Mirror Master had separated his human parts from his cybernetic parts, trapping each half in a separate mirror. Several civilians were also trapped in the mirrors, distorted into a grotesque Greek chorus to the battle unfolding.

“I am truly an artist!” laughed Mirror Master with great self-satisfaction.

EARLIER THAT DAY, AT THE JLA SATELLITE...

“The best security money can buy.” Batman said proudly as he scanned the monitor’s readout of the Satellite’s security systems.

“It better be,” said Cyborg, “I helped design it. If it fails, I won’t forgive myself.”

“Relax, Victor,” smiled Batman, “it’s not the only trick up our sleeve.”

OPAL CITY BOTANICAL GARDENS, THE PRESENT TIME...

Starman struggled to keep the giant Venus Flytrap from closing down on him. As he felt the plant’s teeth dig into his flesh, he saw his friend Congorilla bound firmly by the strongest vines in existence. Poison Ivy got off the throne she had constructed for herself and walked over to Congorilla, striking a series of sultry poses.

“Congorilla,” whispered Poison Ivy seductively, “don’t fight it. You are as wild a force of nature as I. You are animus, I am anima. Together we can rule the world.”

EARLIER THAT DAY, AT THE JLA SATELLITE...

“Mon-El,” said Batman, “if our uninvited guest should breach the security systems and if you fail to stop him one-on-one, there’s always...this!”

Batman gestured towards a deceptively empty space in a corridor of the satellite that hid a sophisticated cosmic energy trap.

“New Genesis technology. The New Gods’ final gift to us before their death. It’s been tested and re-tested until there was no failure margin.”

IVY TOWN, THE PRESENT TIME...

A herd of Triceratops dinosaurs marched through a residential neighborhood, leaving destruction in its wake as Green Lantern attempted to corral them like giant bulls.

Meanwhile, Green Arrow fought a squadron of medieval knights, having taken one of their horses and led them on a chase into the outskirts of Ivy Town.

And on Ivy Town’s main street, an insane Chronos laughed and laughed as his chronal gun produced ever-more-outlandish time anomalies.

THE JLA SATELLITE, THE PRESENT TIME...

Mon-El had been sitting at the monitor, twiddling his thumbs as he awaited the arrival of the expected intruder.

Suddenly, the alarms went off and the monitor read out in big ominous letters, “SECURITY SYSTEMS OVERRIDE!”

“How can this be?” wondered Mon-El out loud as he raced at super-speed to the location of the breach.

“How, you ask?” enquired a strange voice that was not immediately identifiable as male of female. “Because I am balance, and anything is possible to me.”

Mon-El now saw the intruder, body swathed in a long silken cloak and face hidden by a full mask.

“Now,” said the intruder, unveiling a bizarrely shaped weapon, “you shall feel the power of the Star-Staff.”

Mon-El leaped out of the path of the blast, but the blast itself pursued him like a heat-seeking missile until it made contact.

In an instant, reality itself seemed to unravel for Mon-El. Stars and explosions of bright colors and streams of cosmic energy made themselves visible as they converged within his consciousness. Hidden dimensions opened up to him, conventional perceptions were shattered, and any sense of physical or mental balance came undone for Mon-El, who collapsed convulsively to the floor.

“A mighty mortal you may be,” laughed the intruder, “but you shall be remembered by future generations as the first to fall before...THE NEW LIBRA!”

TO BE CONTINUED

Very nice set-up. Good action for all involved, and nice flashbacks to let us know what's going on.

Thanks, Dev.

I believe if a writer is going to pay homage, they should pay homage to the very best...like Len Wein's JLA.

Oooh, a new Libra.

Yes, and his/her identity will be a shocker.

Cool.

I'm happy to report that now that my life is coming back together, I've made it a priority to finish "A Precarious Balance" and catch up on other LWers fan fiction. So keep an eye on this thread.

Has anyone made any guesses yet as to who the new Libra might be?

Glad to hear you;re back at 'em. So am I. I have three new episodes in three different threads. w00t!

It is with great reluctance that I must announce that I'm not likely to ever complete "A Precarious Balance," because I could never quite work out the resolution to my satisfaction. In hindsight, I think "...Than to Curse the Darkness" and "Truly Super" were the only two JLA stories that I absolutely HAD to tell. Never say never, though.

But for the time being, here's who the new Libra would have turned out to be:

<span class="spoiler_containter"><span class="spoiler_wording">Click Here For A Spoiler</span><span class="spoiler_text">Wonder Woman, enchanted and manipulated by Circe, the true mastermind behind this scheme.</span></span>

A little background on this entry:

A while ago I was writing and posting a short-lived series on my I Am Milk blog. It was called Outworlders, and it was meant to be my take on the Exiles concept of a team of heroes and/or anti-heroes travelling through space and time on missions to correct anomalies. The teammates are Olivia, Alice, Philip, Magdalene, and Hercules. They report to Utaan, who sends them on their missions. In the third story, which I never posted because I thought it would be too controversial, I had them meet a team of JLI analogues. As requested in another forum by Rocky and IB, here it is.

OUTWORLDERS in: "INTERNATIONAL FEEL"

“I presume,” said Utaan to the assembled Outworlders, “that most of you possess at least some passing familiarity with the malevolent artificial intelligence known as Ultron. For those who do not, Ultron is, quite simply, an evil robot who wants to destroy all organic life. There have been many, many versions of him, both in individual universes and across the multiverse.

“One of these Ultrons was able to breach the timestream and make his way to an alternate timeline where the heroes are a version of the Squadron Supreme...”

“Lemme guess,” snarked Olivia, “those Squadron Supreme losers need our help.”

“Yes,” replied Utaan patiently, “but these are a...very different sort of Squadron Supreme. If you will pay attention to the monitors, I shall introduce them to you, in order from least powerful to most powerful.

“These are Bug Bite and Golden Boy, both average male humans possessing arsenals of sophisticated technology. I should add that Golden Boy’s technology is plundered.

“Next are Demolitia and her partner in romance and adventure, Escape. Both are extraordinary athletes and superb hand-to-hand combatants; in addition, Demolitia has low-level super-strength.

“Burnout, essentially a female Human Torch...

“...and Chilblain, essentially a female Iceman.

“Followed by this universe’s version of Doctor Spectrum, who refers to himself colloquially as ‘Doc.’

“Shifter, a shape-shifting alien possessing super-strength, super-speed, super-endurance and super-telepathy...

“...and, finally, Major Molecule, whose power is nearly on the same level as the Silver Surfer.”

“I don’t understand!” said Alice “That seems to me like a pretty formidable collection of heavy-hitters! Why do they need our help?”

“Because,” explained Utaan, “they are either too arrogant, too self-involved, or simply too idiotic to work together as a proper team.”

“Typical Squadron Supreme, then.” laughed Olivia.

“This is a serious matter.” reprimanded Utaan. “If Ultron gains control of one universe, he shall eventually gain control of the very fabric of space and time and corrupt it with his soulless evil. Already he has used his Encephalo-Ray to dominate the man named Ian Influence, the Squadron Supreme’s liaison with the world leaders, and the team is none the wiser...and probably will not be any wiser unless you Outworlders intervene.”

“As our challenges grow, so doth my appetite for adventure.” declared Hercules. “Let us go forth so that the Lion of Olympus may be satiated.”

“Before you depart,” said Utaan, “observe this Squadron Supreme at the present moment...and tremble.”

The main monitor in Utaan’s domain panned across the conference room of the Squadron Supreme’s headquarters. The Outworlders first saw Burnout admiring her reflection and talking to herself in Portugese, saying what translated roughly to “Who is the fairest of them all?” Next to her was Chilblain, timidly responding to Doc Spectrum’s advances by declaring, “Oh, no, I cannot go on a dinner date with you. The city is scary after nine o’clock at night.” To which Doc Spectrum laughed sophomorically and boasted, “Like you got anythin’ to fear with a real man like me by yer side!” Next appeared Shifter, sitting at the conference table wolfing down chocolate sandwich cookies with a glazed look in his eyes, followed by a sickly-looking Escape assuring Demolitia that her cooking had nothing to do with his current state. Then Bug Bite and Golden Boy burst into the room. “We’ve just accidentally bankrupted the team!” lamented Golden Boy. “Yeah,” added Bug Bite, “that’ll teach us never to GO FOR BROKE! HA! HA! HA!” And, finally, Major Molecule, who kept barking orders and trying to impose discipline until he shrugged and said, “Oh, what’s the use?”

The Outworlders were rendered temporarily speechless by this inane spectacle, until Magdalene broke the silence. “By the Seventh Ring!” she exclaimed, “What a nauseating collection of utter fools.”

“It’s up to us to save the day.” declared Philip.

“I love it when you talk in cliche.” quipped Olivia, who then found herself on the receiving end of one of Magdalene’s blood-chilling stares. “Uh...sorry.” she apologized hesitantly.

As the Outworlders stepped through Utaan’s portal, he said to them, “Best of luck on this mission...if ever you have needed it, that time is now!”

The Outworlders now found themselves standing outside the Squadron Supreme’s headquarters, a brownstone located on the corner of a large city’s busy street.

“Here goes nothing.” said Olivia, knocking on their door.

Shifter answered, bag of cookies in hand.

“Hi!” said Olivia. “We’re an inter-dimensional police force, and we’ve come to your universe because your boss is being dominated by an evil robot who wants to take over the world.”

Eyes still glazed, Shifter stopped munching on cookies and stared at the Outworlders in silence until he opened his mouth and laughed, spraying bits of cookie everywhere. “HA! HA! HA! That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!”

“So much for that approach.” sneered Olivia. “Outta my way, you damned stupid alien.” she shoved Shifter aside, causing him to drop his cookies.

“Insults and rudeness I can take,” barked Shifter, “but wasting cookies, I cannot tolerate! You shall pay dearly for...”

Suddenly, he appeared to be surrounded by a ring of fire, which was actually a construct of Alice’s power prism. “Fire!” he bellowed. “My one weakness! Somebody help me!” Alice intensified the phony flames, and Shifter fainted.

“Oh, brother.” said Olivia, rolling her eyes while Alice smirked.

Suddenly, the rest of the Squadron Supreme came bolting towards the door. “Now you’ve done it!” said Major Molecule. “We’re the Squadron Supreme, and we take care of our own!”

“We do?” asked Chilblain innocently.

“Okay, in theory, we do.” snapped Major Molecule. “That is...what I meant to say...SQUADRON SUPREME, ATTACK!”

Major Molecule let loose with powerful nuclear blasts, causing considerable damage to the neighborhood and panic in the streets. Magdalene responded with a focused blast of the cosmic power she channeled through her staff, hitting Major Molecule square in the chest.

“I will deal with this hussy.” said Burnout in heavily accented English. “She is only bitter because I am prettier than her.” She unleashed her flames, but Alice was quicker than her, constructing a bubble of fireproof material around Burnout.

“Now...freeze!” said Chilblain, trying unsuccessfully to sound tough as she encased Magdalene in solid ice, which Magdalene’s powers easily melted away. Next, Magdalene bopped Chilblain on the head with her staff.

“Hey!” roared Doc Spectrum, “Nobody gets rough with Chilblain except me!”

Unexpectedly, Olivia jumped in between him and Magdalene. “I don’t think I like you.” she sneered, and decked him with one punch. As she rubbed her knuckles, she saw out of the corner of her eye that Hercules and Philip were both losing to the respective double-team attacks of Demolitia & Escape and Bug Bite and Golden Boy.

“You’re French, aren’t you?” Golden Boy asked Philip.

“I’m French and English.” replied Philip. “So what?”

“So you don’t bathe OR brush your teeth, then. HA! HA! HA!”

“You ignorant clod!” growled Philip, smacking Golden Boy so hard with the flat of his blade that Golden Boy’s visor shattered.

“Nobody does that to my buddy.” said Bug Bite, pointing his Bug-Blaster at Philip.

“I just did.” said Philip calmly. Then, with one quick stroke, his sword shattered the Bug-Blaster to pieces. Olivia took advantage of this to clobber Bug Bite with one of her truncheons.

“Truly,” said Hercules to Demolitia and Escape, “the two of thee hath proven themselves the only capable fighters of thy motley crew. For that, I commend thee, and I prithee to bring an end to this pointless, unnecessary fight...which is not to say I hath not enjoyed the sport, but...”

“What he’s trying to say,” piped up Alice, “is that time’s a-wasting while the real bad guy gets closer to accomplishing his evil scheme.”

“What do you think, Husband?” asked Demolitia, “Do you believe they speak the truth?”

“Yeah,” replied Escape, “starting this fight was stupid...even for our team.”

LATER, IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM...

“These are the plans of the building where Ian Influence has his main office.” said Major Molecule, pointing to the screen. “The suite is conceivably large enough to house an artificial intelligence like the one you described.”

“What we have to do,” said Alice, “is hit them hard and fast from all sides. This is how we’re going to do it: Olivia will pose as a temp secretary reporting for work at Ian’s office. Then, Escape will disable the alarms, allowing Olivia to bust from the waiting room into Ian’s office. When she takes down Ian and gives the rest of us the signal, we smash our way into the office from outside and do a search-and-destroy on Ultron. Any questions?”

Chilblain raised her hand. “The suite is on the top floor. How do those of us who can’t fly get up there?”

“I have a lot of spare anti-gravity discs.” offered Escape.

“There you go.” replied Alice, satisfied.

SOON, AT IAN INFLUENCE’S OFFICE...

“I hope you’re better than the last secretary.” grumbled Ian.

“And the next-to-last, and the next-to-last?” snarked Olivia.

“Please, save the sass for outside the office.” replied Ian wearily as he walked out of the waiting room and into his office.

“I’ll give you more than sass.” sneered Olivia, looking at her digital watch, waiting for the glow which would indicate that Escape had successfully disabled the alarms. When the glow came, she was overjoyed. She experienced great relief as she removed her high-heeled shoes and took her retractable truncheons out of her pocket book.

Olivia smashed her way into Ian office, to find a shocked Ian staring at her. “Jeez,” he said, “that’s the last time I use THAT temp agency.” As he talked, he fumbled for the pistol in the side drawer of his desk, found it, and fired at Olivia, who dodged the bullets with great ease and did a back-flip onto his desk. She swatted the gun out of his hand with her truncheon, grabbed Ian by his white collar and snarled, “Where’s Ultron?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about!” Ian screamed. “Please, don’t kill me.”

Olivia did not kill Ian, but she did bop him on the head with the end of one of her truncheons, knocking him unconscious. She then pressed a button on her watch, signaling the others to attack as Ultron came charging out of the office’s back room.

“Fool!” shrieked Ultron to Olivia as he blasted lasers from his fingertips at her. “This is the end for you!”

“Oh, I don’t think so.” replied Olivia, dodging the blasts. “You’ve got some party crashers.”

Indeed, the Outworlders and the Squadron Supreme came bursting into the office from all sides, leaving massive shards of glass on the floor. Taking point were Magdalene and Major Molecule, the heaviest hitters. Their concentrated cosmic-rays-and-nuclear-blasts attack on Ultron allowed Bug Bite to sneak past the evil robot into the back room where the computers were.

Before Ultron could pursue Bug Bite, Hercules and Demolitia pounced on Ultron, buying Bug Bite enough time to shut the door. Ultron shook off his mighty oppenents, screeching, “Imbeciles! I am invulnerable!”

“Maybe so,” said Alice, “but we can still snare you!” And Alice and Doc proceeded to do just that, binding the robot in their power-prism constructs.

They were able to hold him long enough for Shifter to shape-shift into a flying insect and fly inside of Ultron, where he planted a tiny but very powerful time bomb.

Just as Shifter exited Ultron, the bomb went off, burning up and tearing apart Ultron’s inner workings. Ultron flailed spastically as he made his way past all the heroes and broke down the door to the back room.

“You’re too late!” gloated Bug Bite. “I’ve erased all your computer files. You can’t jump to another timeline. You’re stuck here!”

“NOOOOOO!” screamed Ultron. “You have won this battle, but not the war. I shall return to torment you!” That said, Ultron jumped through one of the broken windows, plummeted to the far away ground, picked himself up and began running away.

“I just realized,” said Bug Bite, “he’s stuck here...but now WE’RE stuck with HIM. Uh-oh.”

“We shall face him united and defeat him as many times as it takes.” said Demolitia.

“Well said, thy most courageous of warrior women.” replied Hercules.

“Despite getting off on the wrong foot,” said Major Molecule to the Outworlders, “I really have to thank you. Without you, we’d never have learned how to work as a team.”

“Indeed,” said Demolitia as she and the rest of the Squadron Supreme watched the Outworlders depart via Utaan’s portal, “we owe you a great deal. Do please visit us again, and we assure you a friendlier welcome. Farewell.”

“Perhaps we did misjudge them.” mused Magdalene as they settled into Utaan’s domain and the portal closed behind them.”

“Most of them, yes,” said Philip, “but not that ignorant swine Golden Boy.”

“Eh,” said Alice, “there’s one in every crowd.”

“Yeah?” asked Olivia. “And I’ll just bet I’M the one in this crowd, right?”

There followed an awkward silence.

“I believe I speaketh for all of us,” said Hercules, “when I doth say that we are all extremely fond of thee as thou art, fair Olivia.”

“You always know how to say the right thing, Herc,” replied Olivia, “and you say it more eloquently than anyone.” They stared into each others eyes.

“Get a room, kids.” said Philip.

“We already did.” blurted Olivia, and everyone laughed as they realized that no team ever operates completely smoothly...but some come a lot closer than others.

NEVER THE END

Thank you so much for sharing, FL! That was entertaining, and I didn't even find it mildly insulting to the JLI. They do have those silly traits, after all - but you still had them be the heroes they really were.

PS, I love it when you have Olivia bop someone on the head. I just find it hilarious!

Wow. You're very welcome, IB. And thank you for the kind words.

I've been thinking, I'm going to do a Secret Origin of that team and post it in this thread. And if I still feel inspired, maybe some more stories with them.

I'm very grateful to you, IB, and to Rocky as well, for encouraging me to revisit that story. I was running low on inspiration and frustrated with the way the Legion Alternate Timeline was going (though I will get back to that eventually), and you guys showed me I had something with great potential which I was neglecting.

I did call the JLI era my least favorite Justice League era at the time that I made the first post in this thread a little over two years ago. But that was before I wrote that story, which I guess helped me work out my conflicted feelings about the JLI and realize that, while I have still have some problems with the JLI, it was more to do with the execution than the concept. I do like funny superhero books -- for a couple years, Peter David's X-Factor was my favorite comic out there -- but they have to be done a certain way which JLI was not done.

So I guess the door is now open to how I would interpret the JLI! Let's see where that goes!

I would love to see your continued work on the JLI-Squadron Supreme The JLI was a nice era which could have worked (though some things, such as Guy Gardner breaking Beetle's ribs, the shadow of Bialya, and the turning of Maxwell Lord into an out-and-out villain pushed things too far) and seeing it continue, in a way, under you would be excellent

Would anyone be interested in collaborating with me on a re-imagining of the JLI? It would be completely free of any continuity shackles, just us having fun with any of the Justice League characters we want.

I'm picturing a truly international league, with a merger of the Justice League and the Global Guardians.

I also plan to have Bea & Tora front and center, and to give Bea an origin more faithful to her pre-Crisis origin.

If you're interested, please post your thoughts and suggestions in this thread. Thank you in advance.

Kent Shakespeare has been kind enough to share his wonderful ideas for re-imagining several of the Global Guardians: