Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Bits o' Legionnaire Business MATTER-EATER LAD: The Series!!!

PAGE 6

Panel 1

Elderly clerk: Locks o' hair are over in the corner aisle.

Panel 2

Lester thoughts: This is easier than I thought! Good thing I learned all about shopping at stores while on Bismoll!

Panel 3

Lester thoughts: Hmm... albino hair... coyote hair... horse hair... maiden hair... magician's hair...! And on sale!

Panel 4

Lester (walking up to counter): I'll take this.

Clerk: That'll be five silver credits.

Panel 5

Lester (reaching into pocket): Hmm... that's funny...

Panel 6

Lester (with utterly horrified look on his face): I... I don't have any money!

PAGE 7

Panel 1

Lester: That's impossible! I've never not had money before... even when Daddy cut me off and sent me to Bismoll, I always seemed to have money when I needed it... it's this STUPID fat body! It's completely messed me UP!

Panel 2

Clerk: Boo hoo, yer breakin' my heart, Chubby. But locks o' magician's hair tain't easy to come by, and they tain't free.

Panel 3

Lester: But-- I HAVE to have it, my friend's life and honor depends on it!

Panel 4

Clerk *with a naughty gleam in his eye*: Well then, Biggy... we'd best be comin' to an unnerstandin' then.

Panel 5

Lester: Oh. Jeebus.

PAGE 8

Panel 1

caption: Soon...

*Lester leaving store, with magician's hair in tow*

Lester: I can't believe that stupid clerk made me arm-wrestle him for the magician's hair! I wonder how the others are doing?

Panel 2

caption: NOYD ECHAD, PLANT LAD.

Noyd thoughts: Man, that Tiffany girl is a-ok! Too bad she digs Tenzil so much...

Panel 3

Noyd thoughts: Taryn's cute, too, but she's kind of got an attitude...

Panel 4

Noyd thoughts: Oh, well... better stop thinking about girls and get back to the mission at hand. Now just where would I find a bottle of Deltwan Whiskey around here?

Panel 5

*Noyd spies Space-Saloon*

Noyd's thoughts: Looks promising...

Panel 6

*Shot of Noyd entering through the saloon doors...*

PAGE 9

Panel 1

*saloon patron heckling*

patron: Awww, lookit the boy's SWEET li'l TAT-toos.

patron: An' his purdy shiny hair!

patron: We don't like YER type in here, Greenie!

Noyd caption: Oh, I already figured this would happen.

Panel 2

*Noyd whips out space-guitar*

Noyd caption: So I came prepared!

Panel 3

*Noyd strumming & singing*

Noyd: Tain't nothing worse than when yer woman
Gets all mad at you
pops you in the face with a skillet
And beats you black and blue

But it's all good 'cause
Once you bring her flowers she's happy

And then she shows you just how sweet and loving she can be...

Panel 4

Noyd singing: Making-up loving
It's the best kind
Making-up loving
She's treating you fine

So let her get mad
In fact, help her if you can
'Cause that making-up loving
It's the hottest loving in the land!

Panel 5

*cowboys clapping, cheering, some are crying*

patron: It's SO true!

patron: You ROCK, stranger!

patron: Encore!

Panel 6

Noyd: For my next number, I thought we'd have us a little hoe-down. I call this song "My Woman Drank up all my Silverale and Ran Off With The Space-Milkman!"

patrons: hoots & hollers of approval

Panel 10

Panel 1

Noyd (singing):
I got off work in the space-mine,
Came home 'bout a quarter past nine,
And I thought there was somethin' funny,
I got no answer when I called for my honey.

So I opened up the space-fridge,
And soon I was about to hemorrhage,
Cause in the fridge there was nothing to drink,
Just an empty bottle in the kitchen sink

Panel 2

Oh, my woman drank up all my Silverale
And she ran off with the space-milkman
I shoulda known better than to trust her
When she couldn't even use a space duster

Oh, my woman drank up all my Silverale
And she ran off with the space-milkman,
I think I could put up with their ilk,
But I don't even have no milk

Panel 3

*applause from the patrons*

Noyd: Thank you, thank you! It's a work in progress...

Patron: That was SO moving...

Patron: My third wife left ME for a space-milkman...

Panel 4

*Noyd approaches the bar*

Bartender: What'll it be? It's on the house...

Noyd: Do you have a bottle of Deltwan Whiskey?

Panel 5

Bartender: Sure thing. Shall I pour you a glass?

Noyd: Actually, what I really want is the bottle, not the whiskey...

PAGE 11

Panel 1

*Noyd exiting*

Noyd: Enjoy your whiskey, fellas, and thanks for the bottle!

Patrons: Ya'll come back now, y'hear!

Panel 2

Noyd thought caption: This chili of yours better be DAMNED good, Tenzil... you made me sing COUNTRY MUSIC to get this ingredient...!

Panel 3

caption: TIFFANY SPIFFANY

*Tiff walks down a busy street; all the cowboys are checking her out while their wives look angry about it*

Tiffany: Hmm. Where's the best place to find the print from an enchanted shoe...? I know! A shoe store!

Panel 4

Tiffany: And if there's one place I LOVE, it's a shoe store!

Panel 5

*looks up, excited*

Tiffany: Why, there's one now!

Panel 6

*Tiff enters the store, named SNAKESKIN*

Panel 7

*Tiffany approaches a worker*

Tiffany: Excuse me, sir.. I'm looking for magic shoes.

PAGE 12

Panel 1

Worker: Magic Shoes? What in tarnation?

Tiffany: Please sir, it's very important!

Panel 2

Worker: Look... I can make you a nice set of Cowgirl boots that'll be heck of a lot more practical than those fancy numbers you've got on now. But I don't know anything 'bout no magic. You'd have to talk to ol' Crazy Ernie about that.

Panel 3

Tiff: Crazy Ernie?

Worker: He's a hermit lives up by Kattletock Canyon. They say he dabbles in strange potions and enchantments, and he'll bewitch ya if you ain't careful. Say... you ain't from around here?

Panel 4

Tiff: No, sir. Can't you do something to help me? I really, really need the print from a magic shoe!

Worker: Well, I reckon I could lead you up to where Crazy Ernie lives. I'd sure hate to hear of a purdy young fillie like you get bitten by one them kattletocks.

Panel 5

Tiff: Thank you so much! Imagine such a handsome fellow protecting me from the dangerous kattletocks! I'm so honored!

Panel 6

*Worker hangs sign on door that reads "Back in 30 codracks*

Worker: I'll just close up shop here for a few codracks.

Tiffany: I'll certainly pay you for your time!

PAGE 13

Panel 1

*they are exiting store*

Worker: PAY me? I won't hear nothin' OF it, little missy! Whut kinda cowboy would I be if I didn't assist a damsel in distress?

Panel 2

Tiffany: YOU, sir, are a true gentleman! What is your name, if I may be so bold?

Panel 3

Worker: Shucks, ma'am, I reckon you can be as bold as you like with me! M'name's Trav-us, but folks around here call me "Snakeyes" on account of muh store and whatnot.

Panel 4

Tiffany: Oh, you are FAR too handsome to be called "Snakeyes", Trav-us.

Trav-us: *all goofy-like* Awwww, shucks, ma'am!

Panel 5

Trav-us: Well, this here's my horseaphant. You ever ridden before, ma'am?

Tiffany: I'm afraid not, Trav-us... and please, call me Tiffany.

Panel 6

Trav-us: Yes ma'am, Miss Tiffany. Now don't ya'll worry none, I've been ridin' horsephants since I was knee-high to a burr-whacker.

Tiffany: Oh, I feel VERY safe with you, Trav-us!

Panel 7

Trav-us: Let me help you hop up on ol' Jiggles here...

*helping Tiffany onto sddle*

Panel 8

*Tiffany's buttocks are in Trav-us' face*

Trav-us caption: Think gentlemanly thoughts, think gentlemanly thoughts...

Panel 9

*Tiffany is on horseaphant; Trav-us looking up at her*

Tiffany: Wow! My first time to ride! I'm glad my first time is with you, Trav-us!

Trav-us: *Gulp!!*

PAGE 14

Panel 1

*Trav-us and Tiff on the horsephant*

caption: Soon, Trav-us and Tiffany make there way up Kattletock Canyon...

Trav-us: Ol' Jiggles here, he's a mighty fine steed. He don't get spooked by the sound of the kattletocks like most would.

Panel 2

*"Tock"-ing noises coming from the bushes alongside the trail*

Tiffany: *Gasp*! That sound! Is that...?

Trav-us: Yup. But we don't got much to worry about as long as we stay up on ol' Jiggles. Usually them kattletocks won't attack a full grown horsephant.

Panel 3

caption: Shortly...

Trav-us: Well, that's ol' Crazy Ernie's shack up ahead.

Tiffany: Wow! It looks... so... run-down...

Panel 4

*A bright flash startles Jiggles, who raises his front legs high in the air, almost throwing Trav-us and Tiffany off*

Off-panel voice: Heeheeheeheeheeheehee!

Panel 5

*Trav-us falls off Jiggles, taking Tiffany with him, as some sort of laser fire streaks through the air*

Off-panel voice: Ya come lookin' for my gold, eh! I'll show you what for, strangers!

Panel 6

*Trav-us and Tiffany are behind some kind of cover, like a big rock or something*

Trav-us: Now Ernie! Calm down! It's Trav-us! You know me! And you know laser weapons ain't legal on Sexat!

Tiffany (pulling at Trav-us's arm and pointing at something): Uh... Trav-us... those kattletocks... what exactly do they look like?

Panel 7

*Close-up on kattletock, preparing to strike*

PAGE 15

Panel 1

Trav-us: A kattletock! Look OUT, Miss Tiffany ma'am!

*leaps over her protectively*

Panel 2

*the kattletock strikes Trav*

Trav-us: Arrrrgh!

Tiff: TRAV-US!!

Panel 3

Off-panel voice: HEhehehehehehehe!!

Tiffany: C... Crazy Ernie...?

Panel 4

*a laser blasts the kattletock to pieces*

Off-panel voice: I ain't the crazy one-- you sure didn't catch ME coming up to Kattletock Canyon unprotected!

panel 5

*Tiffany rises from behind rock*

Tiffany: My new friend is possible dying and I need the print from an enchanted shoe for a chili recipe to keep my other friend from possibly being killed!

Panel 6

*Tiff arches back, sticks out chest*

Tiffany: And I don't know what to do about either situation, because, well... I'm just a girl...

panel 7

*bending over*

Tiffany: ...a girl who would do ANYTHING... ANYTHING!! ...to help her friends out of a jam...

panel 8

Tiffany: So PLEASE, Mister Crazy Ernie... won't you help me...?

Panel 9

*a pair of shoes is thrown from off-panel to the ground in front of Tiffany*

Tiffany: *Gasp!!*

PAGE 16

Panel 1

caption: Soon...

*Trav-us and Tiffany are riding Jiggles down the trail*

Trav-us: Might obliged to ya for savin' me from that kattletock back there, Miss Tiffany, ma'am!

Tiffany: No biggie! That Ernie wasn't so bad once I gave him some Boil-Be-Gone for that nasty boil on his big toe! Though he really didn't need to give me both of his nasty old shoes!

Panel 2

Trav-us: If you don't mind my askin' ma'am, why exactly is it that you carry a tube of that Boil-Be-Gone wherever you go?

Tiffany: Uh... did I mention how brave you were so brave protecting me from that kattletock?

Panel 3

Trav-us: You sure is purdy!

Panel 4

Caption: OPPOSABLE BIG TOES BOY...

*Big Toes is looking at the piece of paper he's been given. On it is written "A tail-feather from a predatory bird*

Panel 5

*Big Toes looks up in the sky, and sees a large eagle like creature with small animal in its talons*

Panel 6

*Bird lands in a very, very, large and tall tree*

Panel 7

*Big Toes starts to climb tree*

PAGE 17

Pasnel 1

*B-Toes midway up tree*

Panel 2

*B-Toes nearing the treetop; the eaglon's nest is visible at the top*

Panel 3

*B-Toes reaches treetop, across from eaglon nest*

Panel 4

*the Mama eaglon spots B-Toes*

Panel 5

*eaglon swooping in to attack B-Toes, B-Toes reaching in pocket*

Panel 6

*B-Toes sprays something on the eaglon*

Panel 7

*the eaglon very drowsily flying back to nest, collapsing on it*

Panel 8

*B-Toes nearing nest where Mama eaglon is passed out*

Panel 9

*closeup of B-Toes' hands; one is plucking a tail-feather from the eaglon, the other is holding a small canister labelled "Predatory Bird Knockout Gas"

PAGE 18

Panel One

Caption: TARYN LOY AND QUESTAR...

*Taryn and Questar are walking through a prairie environment*

Taryn: So... Questar, do you have... like... another name or something?

Questar: Are you asking me to reveal my secret identity?

Panel Two

Taryn: Secret Identity? Grife!

Questar: I am afraid, even as beautiful as you are, you cannot know who I truly am! Nor can we get married, for my many enemies might try to hurt you to get at me!

Panel Three

Taryn: Many enemies? Like who?

Questar: Well, there was the Every 6 Hours Monster, and the Every Ten Years Monster...

Panel Four

Taryn: *Sigh* Do these cameras have to follow us around?

Questar: They are just filming my mighty exploits for my adoring fans!

Panel Five

Taryn: I... I think I'm alergic to some of these weeds... ah... ah... ah-CHOOO!

Questar: Let me offer you my hankerchief, my lady!

Panel Six

Taryn (using hankerchief): Thanks. What's this written on it? "Reges"? Is that your name?

Questar: Uh... I must have picked up some citizen's hankerchief by mistake! Quick, give it back, and perhaps I can... uh... find the rightful owner!

Panel Seven

*The two walking along some more*

Panel Eight

Taryn: Reges?

Questar: Yes? I mean... that's not my name! It's must be some other good citizen...

Panel Nine

*Spies some kind of Alamo type fort*

Taryn (smiling): Nevermind. I think we may have just found what we're looking for!

PAGE 19

Panel 1

Questar: You think we're likely to find the bones of a ne'er-do-well here?

Panel 2

Taryn: Maybe. Looks like some serious carnage took place here at one time. Let's check it out.

Panel 3

*the 2 looking around the fort*

Panel 4

Questar: EEEEEEEEEEK!

Taryn: What? What?

Panel 5

*shows a sweet little bunnylike creature*

Questar: W... what IS it...?

Taryn: I don't know, but it sure is cute.

panel 6

Questar: Well, if you LIKE that sort of thing, I guess...

panel 7

*the 2 continue to search*

Panel 8

*a trap-door opens beneath their feet*

Panel 9

*the 2 fall through the trap door, Questar looks panicked*

PAGE 20

Panel 1

*The room is very shadowy, Taryn can be seen dusting herself off*

Taryn: Questar? You okay?

Panel 2

Taryn: Questar?

Panel 3

*Questar's hand can be seen, with a kind of glow around it, illuminating the room, the room they are in is a kind of dungeon, with a few skeletons chained to the walls*

Panel 4

Questar (looking at the skeletons): *Gasp!*

Taryn: Hmm... this place seems to be the ruins of some sort of ancient fort, and this would be the stockade. But how would we know if any of these are ne'er-do-wells, or just captured enemy soldiers?

Panel 5

*Taryn notices one of the soldiers is wearing a much different uniform than the others*

Taryn: Hmm... that one stands out.

Panel 6

*Taryn takes some old paper out of the skeletons pocket*

Panel 7

Taryn: So it says this fellow was thrown in the stockade for continously shirking his duty. They'd considered discharging him, but decided he'd just be a burden on society, since he'd never been able to hold a steady job before. I guess he'll do.

Panel 8

Taryn: Can you fly him up, and then come back and get me?

Questar: Certainly!

Panel 9

*Questar flies out of dungeon, carrying skeleton*

PAGE 21

Panel 1

caption: Sonuvva...! We nearly forgot all about the alleged star of this comic magazine!

Jo-Don: MMM MMM MMM! Smell that, fellers? that's GEN-YOU-WINE Sexat Six-Alarm chili y'smell cookin'! I'd like to see the politician over there top THIS!

Panel 2

*Tenzil stirring*

Tenzil's thoughts: Just you wait, you skinny little podunk! If my friends come through...!

Panel 3

Lester: I got your stupid ingredient, Tenzil... but please don't ever ask something like this of me again, for I shall refuse you.

Tenzil: WOW! thanks, Les!

Panel 4

Plant Lad: You don't even WANT to know what I went through to get this, Kem. Suffice to say, it involved drawling.

Tenzil: Noyd, you're the coolest of the cool!

Panel 5

*Tiffany & Trav-Us ride up on Jiggles*

Tiffany: I got these enchanted shoes from an old crazy man, Tenzil! I would have made a print for you but I'm not touching the icky ol' things. Did you notice my new very special friend? His name is Trav-Us?

Trav-us: Howdy!

Tenzil: *accepting shoes* Dang tootin'!

Panel 6

*Big Toes presents the feather to Tenzil*

Tenzil: I always said you were handy to have around, Opposable Big Toes Boy!

Panel 7

Tiffany: Where's Taryn and her beau?

Tenzil: I know Taryn won't let me down...

Panel 8

Jo-Don: 30 minutes til the TASTE-OFF, hippies!!

Panel 9

*Tenzil looking worried*

caption: Come ON, Taryn...!

PAGE 22

*First three panels running along the top of the page*

Panel 1

Taryn (looking worried): Questar? Hmm... he should be back down here by now.

Panel 2

Taryn (looking really worried): Where IS he?

Panel 3

*Taryn looks up at the trap door above in fright as a scream can be heard up above*

Scream: AAAAIIIIIIIEEEE!

Panel 4

*Big splash panel as Questar falls, unconscious, back into the dungeon*

Taryn: Questar!

NEXT ISSUE CAPTION (in corner): What foul fate has befallen Questar? And will he and Taryn make it to the Chili-cookoff in time to save Tenzil? Stay tuned for the exciting next issue of Matter-Eater Lad!

MATTER-EATER LAD #15

PAGE ONE

*Big Splash Panel of Taryn holding the unconscious form of Questar*

CAPTION: Taryn Loy has faced many a challenge since MATTER-EATER LAD: THE SERIES began. She has been shot by a Ninja Super-Maid, and has fallen prey to the Nudie-Medi-Center of Doom. She escaped the Realm of Darkness, the Realm of Scantily-Clad, Over-Endowed Vixens, and the Realm of Bright Lights and Good Times. She has risked interstellar war to save her best friend from a would-be galactic dictator turned super-fatass fetishist. She has braved the gay discos of Thrann.

But will Taryn face her greatest challenge yet as not one but two mighty super-heroes fight to win her affection? And will this rivalry endanger the one she cares for the most, Tenzil (Matter-Eater Lad) Kem, currently in desperate need of the final ingredient to complete his entry in the Great Chili-Cookoff of Space?

Turn the page and find out, gentle reader, in a story we call "ENTER... THE WESTERNER!"

PAGE 2

Panel 1

Taryn: Questar! What
could have done this to you?

Panel 2

off-panel voice: I'm afraid I'm the guilty party, ma'am!

*Taryn looking up in shock*

Panel 3

*a figure leaps down in front of Taryn, we see only his backside*

Taryn: And you are...?

Panel 4

Westerner: M'name's Tim-Thee Santoza, ma'am. But folks 'round here like to call me... THE WESTERNER.

Taryn's thoughts: That BODY...! MrrrrroWWW!

Panel 5

*Taryn staring at him dreamily*

Westerner: Ma'am? Ma'am? You look a mite space-happy.

Taryn: *shaking off her stupor* Oh, I'm so sorry...! Got lost in thought there for a moment...

Panel 6

Westerner: S'quite alright.
Taryn: What happened to Questar?

Panel 7

Westerner: Yer boyfriend here will be jes' fine shortly. I didn't take kindly to ya'll traipsin' 'round my Fort of Solitude, so I used my power to absorb his strength and endurance and beat the tar outta him.

Panel 8

Taryn: Oh NO! I'm so sorry we trespassed...! And let me assure you-- Questar is NOT my boyfriend, Tim-Thee. I'm very much a single woman.

Westerner: I'sat right? A purdy thing like you?

Panel 9

Taryn *all goofy*: *titter*

PAGE 3

Panel 1

Westerner: Well, regardless, you shouln't a-been wanderin' round these old ruins. It's more than a mite dang'rous.

Taryn: We certainly wouldn't have, if it hadn't been the direst of emergencies! You see, my friend... OH NO! Tenzil!

Panel 2

Westerner: Wha's that?

Taryn: My friend Tenzil is being held prisoner by a bunch of ruffians! They're making him participate in a chili-cookoff! I'm supposed to bringing back a key ingredient he needs, the bones of a ne'er do-well!

Panel 3

Westerner: Tarnation! Jo-Dun's up to his ol' tricks again?! Ever' time some stranger shows up he forces 'em into a chili-cookoff! And 'taint no one's ever bested 'em!

Panel 4

Taryn: If anyone could, it's Tenzil. But not without the secret ingredient that I was supposed to bring! And the taste-off's in twenty minutes! Oh, Tim-Thee, can you help me?

Panel 5

Westerner: Twenty minutes! Hmm... Jo-Dun's ranch is to far for me to make that, even with my enhanced strength and endurance! Our best bet's to wake up your flyin' friend here and get him to take it!

Panel 6

*The Westerner picks up Questar*

Westerner: Come on... I'll lead you through the series of secret passages to my secret laboratory!

PAGE 4

Panel 1

caption: And speaking of secrets... Anyone remember a pretty big one that came out a while back on Tartarus...?

Drura: Renkil Kem... not Tenzil at all... and you never were!

Panel 2

Policy Pam: Evillo's flunkies are escaping!

Incredible Girl: I'm on it...!

Panel 3

*Drura, enraged, raises her arms into the air*

Panel 4

*Drura flings her arms downward*

Panel 5

*Stick w/ a Nail in it Kid, Apollo, Tess and Lotus Fruit Lass collapse, screaming*

Panel 6

*Pam, Incredible Girl and Chet, who were chasing after the ex-Dozen, step back in shock*

Incredible Girl: Wha... what's wrong with them...?

Pam: It's Drura...

Chet: She's gone insane insane insane insane insane insane insane!

Panel 7

*Drura facing Renkil*

Drura: You... Unspeakable... Bastard.

PAGE 5

Panel 1

Renkil: Drura... I... I can explain, honey...

Drura: DON'T call me, honey, creep!

Panel 2

*Drura waves her hand and Renkil starts clutching his stomach*

Panel 3

Incredible Girl: Can I just point out that my power to reverse the direction of motion of moving objects would have perfect to stop those guys?

Panel 4

*SWaNiiK, Apollo, Tess, and LFL begin to vanish*

Incredible Girl: Oh, and *now* they're vanishing!

Pam: Cheer up, IG! At least I managed to sell that Stick-With-A-Nail-In-It Kid some tetanus insurance! That means I've got the address of their hideout right here on this policy!

Panel 5

*Pam's insurance papers that she's holding begin to vanish*

Pam: Oh no!

Pieces of Brittle Boy: Uh, can somebody please gather me up?

PAGE 6

Panel 1

Drura: Shut UP, all of you!

*in background, the HOTties are looking a bit sickly*

Panel 2

Sugyn: Drura, m'lass... don't do this... let's talk about it over a hearty ale, eh?

Panel 3

*Drura screams in rage*

Panel 4

*the HOTties look even worse than before*

Panel 5

Drura: *regaining composure somewhat* No... must focus my anger where it really belongs...

Panel 6

Drura: *to Renkil* On YOU, you heartless monster! You DARED wear your brother's face... you DARED to tell me you loved me... Do you still love me NOW, Renkil...?

Panel 7

Renkil: *suddenly looking extremely ill* AAAcccck! But, Drura... I DO lov... ARRRRRGH!

PAGE 7

Panel 1

*All the HOTties are starting to recover, except Sugyn, who still looks very ill*

Pam: Come on, gang! We've got to stop her before she kills him!

Sugyin: Ooooohh... I'm really not feeling so hot, lassie!

Panel 2

*A great burst of puke spews forth from Sugyn, covering everyone but hitting Drura straight on, knocking her unconscious*

Panel 3

Incredible Girl: Eeeew, Sugyn!

Chet: Well, at least he seems to have stopped her stopped her stopped her stopped her stopped her

Panel 4

Pam: We need to get Tenz... I mean Renkil, to a hospital. He's in bad shape.

Incredible Girl: And what about the queen?

Panel 5

Pam: We'll take her back to the palace, and get her cleaned up. Once her rage subsides she'll be in a much better position to think clearly about this.

Panel 6

Pam (to Sugyn): We should probably keep this whole thing secret from the League of Overly-Endowed Former Assassins. It's hard to tell how they'll react to you taking down the queen like that.

Panel 7

*Pull back, to where the sillhouette of a very busty figure can be seen watching them from the shadows*

PAGE 8

Panel 1

caption: I swear, Eryk, we're going to have to change the title of this book to TENZIL'S PALS & GALS...

Tiffany: *arm around Trav-Us* Goodness! It's not like Taryn to be such a complete and utter failure, bringing nothing but disappointment and sorrow to those who care for her. Is it, Tenzil? Is it?

Panel 2

Tenzil: *stirring chili* Taryn's been doing a FEW surprising things lately... But, well... there's still a few minutes left... and if I have to, I can wing it...

Panel 3

Lester: *eyeing Trav-us* May I ask who you are and what your intentions toward my sister are?

Trav-us: Sister? Shoot-a-mile! I'd never have guessed that! You're so...

Panel 4

*Lester looking mad*

Panel 5

Trav-us: ...Ummmm.... so, uh... dif'rent from her and all.

Panel 6

Lester: Duh! Tiffany, I insist you send this extremely handsome but socially inferior ragamuffin on his way. He and his ilk are beneath you.

Panel 7

Tiffany: *to Trav* Well, maybe it's for the best if you go reopen your store... plus things are likely to get ugly here very soon...

Trav-us: but I could help ya'll...!

Panel 8

Lester: Toddle off now, Cowboy. See you half past never again.

Panel 9

*Trav-us walking off dejectedly in background*

Plant Lad: Uh oh! The natives are looking a little restless....!