Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Bits o' Legionnaire Business MATTER-EATER LAD: The Series!!!

PAGE 5

Panel 1

*Drura talks on vidphone*

Drura: Mrs. Kem! Sweety-darling!

Ma Kem: *choke!*

Panel 2

Drura: Are you crying, Ma? Suffering Sickness! What's wrong? If that HUSBAND of yours did something...!

Panel 3

Ma: *sob!* No, it's not that at all... he's been a perfect angel since we got back from Tartarus... as far as the two of us goes, I've never.. *choke!* ...been happier. *wail!!*

Panel 4

Drura: Then what in the name of Milady Malady is making you so sad?

Panel 5

Ma: My BOYS, Drura... Renkil never returned home from Tartarus and Tenzil was KIDNAPPED several days ago according to Littleburg Action News. He has since been found, and is fine... but has he thought ONCE to call home? *sob!!*

Panel 6

Drura: *incredulous*: Wha..? But, Ma... Tenzil moved here to Tartarus WEEKS ago... shortly after Kem Family & Friends was cancelled. We're... I mean... well, we're engaged to be married. He said you knew. He said you were thrilled.

Panel 7

Ma: That's... that's impossible! I've seen him on the NEWS... apparently he's seeing his friend Nancy's sister, Tiffany. That rich Spiffany daughter.

Panel 8

Ma: *sob!* Oh, What has happened to my boys, Drura?

Drura: I don't know, Ma... but I promise you I will find out!

Panel 9

off-panel voice from behind: Drura...?

*closeup of Drura, looks frightened*

PAGE 6

Panel 1

*In the ship's kitchen*

Tenzil: So, if you heat the steel shavings oh so slightly before you add the bits of concrete, they'll be much more flavorful in the end!

Tiffany: Wow, Tenzil, you sure know a lot about this!

Panel 2

*Noyd walks in*

Noyd: Wow! I'm famished! All that super-weight gain and loss takes a lot out of a guy!

Tenzil: What would you like? Big Toes just finished off the last of the pluberry pie.

Panel 3

*Noyd opens the space-fridge*

Noyd: Actually, I'll just have some nice nutrient pills and water, and then I think I'll go sun myself in the lounge!

Tenzil: Oh, it's easy to forget that you're almost more plant than human now!

Panel 4

*Noyd walks out*

Tenz: Do you miss your home, Tiff?

Tiff: Well, kind of, but I'm also kind of happy to out exploring and meeting new people. It's been the most excitment I've ever had.

Panel 5

Tenz: So, why did you come looking for Lester, anyway?

Tiff: Well, I guess I can tell you. I found out our dad has a child neither of us knew about.

Panel 6

Tenz: *gasp*! A secret spawn of the Spiffany clan?

Tiff: It was kind of shocking news. I was kind of worried about asking my father, so I decided to find out if Lester knew anything about the matter.

Panel 7

Tenz: And did he?

Tiff: I don't know. Sometimes it's hard to get him to really focus on anything other than himself.

Panel 8

Tenz: Sometimes?

Tiff: Well, pretty much all the time.

Panel 9

Tiff: Anyway, I sure didn't find out anything from him.

PAGE 7

Panel 1

Tenzil: Well, maybe we should both go talk to him about it?

Tiffany: Oh my, no. I think that would be a very bad idea.

Panel 2

Tenzil: Yeah... you're probably right... still, I feel like I should go speak to him. He was so happy to see me back on the Stalag... and that was totally bogus how that Dev-Em dude ditched him!

Panel 3

caption: But Lester isn't as alone as Tenzil might think...

Lester: Why are you here? It's not like you ever gave a verm's ass about me.

Taryn: Now Lester, that isn't true. I've just been very used to pretty much having Tenzil to myself all these years. I realize now, I have to learn to share him.

Panel 4

Lester: SHARE him? It's not like he wants ME...!

Taryn: Lester, Tenzil cares about you very much.

Panel 5

Lester: Yeah... but not as much as I care for HIM...

Taryn: As much but in a different way.

Panel 6

Lester: I don't want to talk about it, Taryn.

Taryn: Look, Lester... I just wanted to tell you, I sympathize AND empathize... I know what it's like to have your body altered against your will. And I wanted to say, well, keep your chin up.

Panel 7

Lester: *looking a bit taken aback* W... well... thanks, Taryn.

Panel 8

Taryn: *exiting* You're welcome.

Panel 9

Lester: *sigh!*

PAGE 8

Panel 1

caption: Back in the kitchen...

*A light starts flashing*

Tenz: Hmm... something in the cockpit needs attention! We'll have to go talk to Lester later!

Panel 2

*Walking through the hallway, Tenz and Tiff encounter Taryn*

Taryn: Any idea why the cockpit alarm is going off? I left the ship on autopilot, and set it to go ahead and begin the process of clearing us for landing back home.

Panel 3

*the three enter the cockpit*

Tenz: We'll see in a sec!

Panel 4

Tenz: Hmm... that's funny. Our clearance to land on Bismoll has been denied. You must have mis-entered our info, Tar!

Taryn: Hmph! Silly automated clearance systems!

Panel 5

Tenz: That's odd. I'm getting clearance denied as well. I wonder what's up?

Taryn: *Gasp!* What if something's wrong back home? An invasion by the Vakka-Yar, or Arbro, or... or... Taltar...

Panel 6

Tenz: Don't be silly, Taryn! We shouldn't have anything to worry about with Taltar since you met with Thora and cleared things up!

PAGE 9

Panel 1

Taryn: Oh, Tenz... I... I never met with Thora before I followed you guys to Thrann. I'm sorry.

Tenzil: What...!!?

Panel 2

*com breeps*

com: Attention! This is Bismollgov Senior Senate Speaker Bemil Vek for Senator Tenzil Kem!

Tenzil: Senator Kem here. What in the worlds is going on?

Panel 3

Bemil Vek: You and your party are denied access to Bismoll until hostilities with Taltar... caused by YOU, I might add... are resolved.

Tenzil: What...!!?

Panel 4

Bemil Vek: If Thora knows you -- and the Loy woman-- are on-planet, we might very well have a full-scale invasion from the Taltaran Amazons. My suggestion is that you contact Ambassador Thora ASAP. Perhaps your silver tongue can get you out of this as it has so much else! Vek out!!

Panel 5

Tenzil: *to Taryn* Well, here's another fine mess you've gotten us into! Just kidding, babe. So we'll do a little schedule reschedule, no big whoop. Tell you what-- go ahead and contact Thora and see if you can pull that bug out of her ass, and I'll go let Lester and Tiffany know we'll be heading on to see that specialist now.

Panel 6

Taryn: You're... not mad at me?

Tenzil: Mad? Taryn, I love you, babe. Jeebus, I owe you my senatorship, my joy, my LIFE. "Mad". Silly!

Panel 7

*Taryn smiling as Tenzil exis*

PAGE 10

Panel 1

caption: There are certain disadvantages to knowing someone all your life...

*Taryn's smile suddenly turns to a frown*

Taryn thoughts: Tenzil Kem, you are such a great guy...

Panel 2

caption: Like the fact that you know too well when they're lying to spare your feelings...

Taryn thoughts: But I know that move. You say everything's fine and you walk out...

Panel 3

caption: And the fact that their feeling they need to lie hurts so much...

Taryn's thoughts: I know how disappointed you must be in me.

Panel 4

caption: No one knows Tenzil Kem better than Taryn Loy...

Taryn's thoughts: For the first time I've really let you down, haven't I?

Panel 5

caption: And there's no one who's disapproval could hurt Taryn as much...

*Taryn turns on vidscreen*

Taryn's thoughts: But I'm going to make this better. I have to.

Panel 6

Taryn (into vidscreen): I want to speak to Thora.

PAGE 11

Panel 1

Thora *on vidscreen*: Aah. At long last Loy!

Taryn: I... apologize for missing our earlier meeting, Thora.

Panel 2

Thora: That was indeed a cause for irritation, but I felt better after having Evillo flogged unmercifully.

Taryn: So can we cut to the chase? What is it you want from me?

Panel 3

caption: Later, after jumping ahead so that the reader doesn't hear Thora's demands...

Thora: ...and that is what I ask for Bismoll to avoid full-scale war with Taltar!

Panel 4

Taryn: Okay. I'm en route to assist a friend of mine first, but right after that you will have what you want. But I warn you... Daddy isn't exactly stable.

Thora: I know! Thora out-- for NOW.

Panel 5

caption: Later stll...

Tenzil: Approaching Zentor, everybody!

Lester: FINALLY.

Panel 6

Tiffany: It will well be worth it if this specialist can help you, Lester.

Lester: I suppose.

Panel 7

Tenzil: We're being contacted by some dude named Glad-Hander! Must be Zentor's official greeter...

Lester: What's the deal with that long blonde hair extension hanging from his stupid-looking hat?

PAGE 12

Panel 1

Glad Hander: Greetings! Am Glad Hander!
Welcome famous Holo-star Tenzil Kem am certainly on Zentor!

Tenz: Huh? Oh... Yeah, it's always great to meet the fans!

Panel 2

Tenz: So we're here to see Dr. Loge Yeilek. My good buddy Dr. Gym'll should've hooked us up with an appointment with him.

Panel 3

Glad Hander: Hmm... so funny talk you not on holo-show! But ID yours check out! Land may you!

Panel 4

Tenzil: Okay. Something else else tells me this is going to be an experience. Everyone get in place for landing. Uh, Big Toes, you probably should climb down from there and take a seat. Oh, and Taryn, try not to start an interstellar war with Zentor, okay?

Panel 5

Taryn: You know... for my next act, I was planning on punching a certain Bismollian politican...

Panel 6

*Shows craft landing on Zentor*

Issue 100. The flatulent issue.

PAGE 13

Panel 1

*shows giant fist smashing ship to smithereens as it lands*

Panel 2

*shows a re-take of the opening splash page, with Questar, Tenz, Taryn, Tiff, Lester, Noyd & Big Toes floating in space, all looking panicked*

Panel 3

*everyone is back on the planet, a bit freaked out*

Questar: Gosh!! I'm so sorry, you guys-- I had to act fast so I didn't have time to fine-tune my teleport--- is everyone okay?

Panel 4

Tenzil: What in the...

Lester: ...NASS...

Plant Lad: ...just happened?

Panel 5

Questar: *pointing up* THAT!

Panel 6

*shot of the Every 10 Years Monster*

e10ym: RRRRRARRRRRRRGH!!!!

PAGE 14

Panel 1

Lester thoughts (looking at Questar): Who is that handsome fetchingly-dressed blonde fellow?

Panel 2

*Taryn pushes Lester out of the way just as the e10ym's foot stomps down where he was*

Taryn: Look out, Lester!

Panel 3

Tenz: Uh... thanks, but couldn't you teleport us a bit further away?

Questar: No can do, bro! I've got to stop this monster before it does any more damage!

Panel 4

*As Questar flies up to do battle with the e10ym, Tenz notices the holo-cameras following him around*

Tenzil's thoughts: Gosh, this is just like when I had my own holo-show!

Panel 5

*Questar blasts the e10ym monster in the face*

e10ym: AAAARRGGHHHH!

Panel 6

*e10ym smacks Questar, sending him flying*

PAGE 15

Panel 1

Tenzil: Suffering Sasquatch! I bet Blondie's gonna feel THAT in the morning...!

Panel 2

*e10ym grabs Tffany*

Tiffany: ShriEEEEEEEEEEK!

Panel 3

Plant Lad: That ain't no way to treat a lady!

*morphs into some super-tentacled plant of space*

Panel 4

*Plant Lad attempt to entrap in his vines the e10ym, which still holds Tiffany in one hand*

Panel 5

*Big Toes climbs up the monster's back*

Panel 6

*Taryn pummels he e10ym's foot*

Panel 7

Tenzil: I'm sorry, but you're in the way, Lester... come on...

Lester: I'm moving as fast as I sprocking CAN...!

PAGE 16

Panel 1

*e10ym kicks Taryn away while he tries to reach Big Toes with his free hand*

e10ym: RRRAARRGGHHH!

Panel 2

*Unable to reach Big Toes, e10ym switches Tiffany to the other hand while he pulls back out of Plant Lad's tentacles

Panel 3

*e10ym tries with other hand to reach Big Toes but fails*

Panel 4

*e10ym drops Tiffany*

Tiff: EEEKKK!

Panel 5

*As e10ym struggles with both hands to reach Big Toes, who's in the part of the back that he just can't get to, Plant Lad catches Tiff in his tentacles*

Panel 6

*e10ym starts swirling around trying to reach Big Toes/get him off his back*

Panel 7

*Tenz has finally made it around Lester and near the scene of the fight*

Tenz thoughts: Hmm... that big dude seems awfully eager to get Big Toes off his back! Could that be a hidden weak spot or something?

PAGE 17

Panel 1

Tenzil: Taryn!! Use those super-legs of yours and jump up there where Big Toes is! Give that thing your Bismollian Knuckle Sandwich!

Panel 2

*Taryn crouches, preparing to leap*

Panel 3

*Taryn, leaping, punches the e10ym in the back while Opposable Big Toes Boy delivers a kick/punch to the small of its back*

Panel 4

*the monster falls forward, barely missing Lester*

Lester: SPROCK!!!

Panel 5

*Questar flies back to the scene*

Questar: Golly! Good work, guys! Now I can get rid of the beast. I won't have to worry about it for another 10 years!

Panel 6

*Questar teleports the monster away*

Tenzil: 10 years...?

Questar: Yeah. That's the Every 10 Years Monster. He's pretty predictable.

Panel 7

Tiffany: I hope you teleported that horrid thing into space!!

Questar: Madam!! Heroes DO NOT kill.

Panel 8

Questar: And I-- QUESTAR, hero of Zentor-- have my fans to think of!

Panel 9

Questar: Hurry now, we've got to get a move on. We've only a couple of hours.

Taryn: Before...?

Questar: Before the Every 6 Hours Monster strikes!

PAGE 18

Panel 1

Tenzil: Every 6 Hours Monster?

Questar: Yes! It will emerge from its cave on the other side of town in exactly two hours, thirteen minutes, and twenty-three seconds!

Panel 2

Questar: I must be ready for it when it does! Where do you good citizens need to go?

Panel 3

Tenzil: Well, we've got an appointment to see Dr. Loge Yeilek. He's the U.P.'s leading expert in super-charged obesity, which my friend Lester here suffers from! But our appointment's not until tomorrow!

Panel 4

Quester: In that case, we'll get you checked the hotel here quickly, where the non-metas can remain while the rest of you help me with the Every 6 Hours Monster!

Panel 5

Noyd: Um... we didn't exactly sign up for this...

Questar: But you're heroes! I'm certain you can't pass at a chance to help out! Besides, I'm certain my network will pay handsomely for a guest appearance by Tenzil Kem!

Panel 6

Tenzil: Well, we don't really need the money, but we're glad to help out. Okay, Lester and Tiffany can get settled in the hotel, and the rest of us will go see what we can do about this "Every 6 Hours Monster".

Panel 7

caption: Soon...

Tiffany: Before you go Noyd, I just wanted to say thanks for saving me back there! You're a darling!

Noyd (blushing): Why... of course!

Noyd's thoughts: Wow! She's really cute!

Panel 8

Tiffany (kissing Tenzil on cheek, as Noyd looks on heartbroken): Oh, Tenzil! Be careful!

Panel 9

Questar (to Taryn): The way you handled the Every 10 Years Monster was quite impressive!

Taryn: Gee... thanks!

Taryn's thoughts: Is he flirting with me?

PAGE 19

Panel 1

Taryn thought caption: Maybe I should flirt back?

Taryn: So, ummm... what's the deal with these monsters?

Panel 2

Questar: Many fookrons ago, the monsters were the dominant species of Zentor. The humanoid populace was little more than their space-brunch. But in recent fookrons, some sort of monster-killing cataclysm befell them, and nowadays only a relative few are left. Fortunately, they're very set in their ways and as long as the populace keeps their schedules straight, there's very little death when they attack. Gee! You sure are pretty!

Panel 3

Taryn: Oh.... thanks.

Taryn thought caption: What a dork!

Panel 4

*Questar has teleported them all*

Questar: Here we are at the hotel! Now, be advised, this is in the territory of the Every 2 Days Monster, but it isnt due until tomorrow, so don't worry!

Panel 5

Lester: This planet is STUPID!

PAGE 20

Panel 1

caption: Soon...

Questar: Okay, so we'll await the Every 6 Hours Monster here! We'll have to defeat him quickly, as the Every 93 Days Monster is scheduled to appear in an hour. Fortunately, that'll give us a brief respite before the Every 6 Hours Monster emerges again!

Panel 2

Questar: Fortunately, he's not nearly as nasty as the Every 10 Years Monster, or the Every Month Monster, who'll be making an appearance tomorrow. I defeated him in about 20 minutes this morning.

Panel 2

Tenzil: Couldn't you find a way to stop the monsters from attacking at all? Like maybe seal up their caves or something?

Questar: We've tried! That only slows them down! And if we start getting them off-schedule, then who knows what chaos will ensue!

Panel 3

Tenzil: Okay. Say, what's up with all these cameras following us around?

Questar: Oh, well, when I first came to this planet a fookron ago to help them with their monster crisis, it of course was a big deal on the Planetary News. So that started filming my battles with the monsters. Recently, we've expanded to an entire holo-network devoted to my exploits, and broadcast on three planets!

Panel 4

Noyd: So are you saying that basically you've devoted yourself to protecting the planet from these monsters? Don't the Zentorians help you?

Panel 5

Questar: No. But what could they do? After all, they are small and frail, and not heroic like I am!

Taryn thoughts: Yeah... definitely a dork!

PAGE 21

Panel 1

Lester: Well, let's check in, Sis. I guess looking as I now do, I'm not only a hideous nusiance but worthless to the others as well.

Tiffany: Oh, please. I wasn't much aid against that creature either, you know.

Panel 2

*they appraoch the front desk*

Clerk: Oh my! Are you wanting a room here?

Lester: No, we're girdle-shopping. Stupid!

Panel 3

Clerk: But... sir, we don't sell girdles here.

Lester: Tiffany dear, will you please handle this before I burst a blood vessel?

Panel 4

Tiffany: We'd like a room for the night, please.

Clerk: I'm afraid we can't help you.

Panel 5

Tiffany: Oh, don't be silly. We're zillionaires!

Clerk: Money isn't the issue. He's too fat to fit in the rooms.

Panel 6

*Lester, looking enraged*

PAGE 22

*Three small panels along the top of the page and one big panel taking up the rest of the page*

Panel 1

*Shows Questar hiding behind some rocks or something*

Questar: Only moments to go!

Panel 2

*Shot pulls back to where other members of the gang can be seen in nearby hiding places*

Questar: Everyone get ready!

Panel 3

*A large rumbling noise can be heard as the monster emerges from the cave*

Questar: Here he comes!

Panel 4

*e6Hm emerges, but is still in the shadows, and a much smaller figure can be seen alongside him
*

Questar (a look of surprise on his face): There he is, but who's that with him?

*title/credits run along bottom of page*

The Super-Road Trip... of Space! part 2: Here There Be Everywhere a Monster!

NEXT ISSUE: The gang faces their greatest challenge yet, as they enter: "The Great Chilli Cookoff... of Space!", Part 3 of the Super-Road Trip!

MATTER-EATER LAD #13

PAGE ONE

Panel 1

caption: When last we left our heroes...

Questar: The Every 6 Hours Monster has emerged from its cave, but who's that with him?

Panel 2

*The Monster steps into the light*

e6hm: RRRRRAAAAAARRRRRGGHHHHH!

Tenzil: Let's go team!

Panel 3 and 4

*Big Toes turns a flip, hurtling a small boulder at the monster from his feet*

Panel 5

*Questar blasts e6hm in the face*

Questar: We've got to knock him to the ground for my teleporting powers to work on him!

e6hm: RRRROOOOWWWWRRR!

Panel 6

*e6hm smacks Questar, sending him flying*

Tenzil: Jeebus! Does he do that in every battle?

PAGE 2

Panel 1

Plant Lad: Sprock this!

*morphs into plant*

Panel 2

*Entwines himself around e6hm's feet*

Plant Lad: You're going DOWN, Charlie!

Panel 3

*and the monster DOES go down, face-first*

Panel 4

*Taryn punches the monster's face*

Taryn: This should keep you from getting any bright ideas!

Panel 5

Tenzil: Rad! Now all we have to do is keep ol' Monsty out until 'Star flies back and teleports him away!

PAGE 3

Panel 1

*Shot of the gang waiting by the unconcious monster*

Panel 2

*Another shot of the gang waiting, beginning to grow noticebly impatient*

Panel 3

*Another shot of the gang waiting, very impatient*

Panel 4

*Questar returns*

Questar: Good job, team! Now I'll teleport him back to his underground cavern, from whence he won't emerge for another five hours, 30 minutes, and 4 seconds!

Panel 5

*Questar teleports the monster away*

Tenzil: Say, you saw that small figure in the shadows when the monster emerged, didn't you?

Questar: Yes! It was curious! Very curious indeed! Oh well, we best go rest up for the next appearance by the monster!

Panel 6

Taryn: But shouldn't we maybe investigate further? I'm curious about what that was in the shadows as well.

Questar: Investigate? Well, pretty girl, if you think that's a good idea...

PAGE 4

Panel 1

*the gang scours the area*

Panel 2

Tenzil: This is a wash, you guys... maybe we had better go rest up, like Questar said.

Panel 3

Taryn: *noticing something* Not so fast there, Senator...

Panel 4

Taryn: Questar, does this look like anything important to you?

*handing him the small object*

Panel 5

*Questar holding up the object-- it is a space-syringe labelled "Every 6 Hours Monster Stimulant"

Questar: Golly! What could it be?

PAGE 6

Panel 1

Taryn: It's obviously a clue of some sort, but let's go back and check on Lester and Tiffany for now...

Panel 2

caption: Meanwhile, Lester and Tiffany have found some accomodations...

Lester: I am not sleeping in a stupid barn! No matter what that stupid hotel manager says!

Tiffany: Lester, it'll be okay. It might even be fun... I wonder what kind of animal this is...

Panel 3

Lester: Bah! We'll probably catch space-rabies from it!

Panel 4

*Tenz and the others walk in*

Tenzil: So, this is where you're hiding! We've looked all over for you!

Lester: stupid barn... stupid planet...

Panel 5

Questar: Well, friends, we best get back to prepare for our next battle with the Every 6 Hours Monster!

Panel 6

caption: Soon, the designated time for the Every 6 Hours Monster to re-appear arrives!

Questar: Hmm... I don't understand! It should have emerged 20 seconds ago!

Noyd: Maybe we just whopped it a little too hard last time!

PAGE 7

Panel 1

Tenzil: Look! Who's that little dude running from the cave? Stop him, Big Toes!

Panel 2

*Big Toes somersaults through the air*

Panel 3

*Big Toes lands atop the running figure*

Panel 4

*Big Toes holds him up for everyone to see*

Panel 5

Questar & Tenzil: Glad Hander!!

Glad Hander: Oh Uh. Trouble I am in?