Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Bits o' Legionnaire Business MATTER-EATER LAD: The Series!!!

NEXT ISSUE BLURB:

Stupid Stalag of Space!!!

Yay! Another issue done! While I don't think this one quite lived up the hilarity of the Lester spotlight, it certainly had some nice moments! And of course it set up things to come!

I reckon it's okay that every issue isn't slapstick.

Upon rereading this one, It may be one of my faves (well, I *do* love them ALL) because it deals with repurcussions from our first arc, begins & carries on some subplots AND sets up the next arc, as you said... quite a lot going on!

Just holler when you are ready to get going on Issue # 8...

Yeah, the more I re-read this one, the more I like it!

And we do cover *a lot* of ground!

MATTER-EATER LAD # 8

*page layout is 3 large rectangular panels*

PAGE 1

Panel 1

caption: Deep space, heading for absolutely fabulous planet THRANN...

Tiffany: What a fun space-road-trip this is turning out to be! Should we stop at a Space-Truckstop somehwere? I bet it would be so... so rustic!

Tenzil: Don't forget, Tiffany... we're looking for Lester, not out to have fun.

Tiffany thought-caption: Oh, I'll be having fun, Senator Kem, no matter what you say.


Panel 2

caption: Hot on Tiffany & Tenzil's tail...

Taryn: I can't believe I've risked an interstellar incident with Taltar because of some crazy hunch about Tenzil heading for trouble. Maybe Tenzil was right... maybe I am jealous of Tiffany... a little.


Panel 3

caption: Even deeper space, hot on someone else's tail...

Lester: What's wrong, baby...? You look a little... flushed...?

Dev-Em: I do feel a bit odd... but I'm not stopping until I CATCH those nuts who almost smashed into us!

Can't wait for more!! I'm glad I found this thread!!!

Thanks DM! I'll get the creative juices flowing again in a couple of days, and I'm sure the "Stupid Stalag of Space!" arc will be a blast to write!

We're glad you found this thread too, DM!

Eryk-- make like Sugyn and spew those juices!

PAGE 2

Big splash panel

(shows a lot of super-hero types working in mines with Nardo androids watching over them, zapping them with ray guns and stuff.)

Android #1: You must work harder, slaves!

Android #2: The master will not tolerate your laziness!

Android #3: Production must be doubled!

Plant Lad (to another prisoner): I... I don't think I can take this much longer...

Title: STUPID-STALAG OF SPACE, Part 1!

PAGE 3

Panel 1

Lester: Dev! Baby, you're sweating... what's WRONG?

Panel 2

Dev: I dunno... I've never quite felt like this before...

Panel 3

*panel shows giant claws reaching out from the ship Dev & Lester are chasing, grabbing them*

Dev: Jeepers H. Christmas!

Panel 4

*panel shows Dev & Lester being reeled in to the ship*

Lester: Well... THIS certainly sucks!

Panel 5

*shows Dev & Lester inside the ship, straddled before a Nardo-bot holding a chunk of green kryptonite*

Nardo-bot: Idiot Kryptonian! We have our ways of dealing with YOUR ilk!

PAGE 4

Panel One

Lester: Look, I don't know who you are, but let's say I give you 1000 creds and I won't have to look at that icky third eye of yours anymore?

Nardroid: Fool! I have no need of money!

Panel Two

Lester: *gasp*! That's... that's just inhuman!

Nardroid: Yes! I am an unliving android, designed to serve my master's whims!

Panel Three

Lester: Devkins, get up and show this creep who's boss!

Dev-em: Ooooohh...

Panel Four

Lester: Devkins?

Dev-em: C-can't get up... feel so bad...

Panel Five

(rushes over to Nardroid and starts beating on him! The nardroid isn't phased.)

Lester: What have you done to my Devkins! Stop hurting him! Stop it!

Panel Six

(Nardroid blasts Lester with stun rays_

Nardroid: This will calm you down!

PANEL 5

Panel 1

Tiffany: Well, that was certainly an experience! I feel so.. so common!

Panel 2

Tenzil: I know what you mean. You see those Stickey's Space-Stops all your life but you never stop at one. And when you finally do, it's... well... a little disappointing actually.

Panel 3

Tiffany: Well, all I know is the pie sure was good! >Burrrrp!!<

Panel 4

Tenzil: *looks a bit taken aback* Ummm... yeah? I rather enjoyed the silverware myself.

Panel 5

*approaching their cruiser*

Tenzil: Shall we hit the space-road then?

Tiffany: I'm ready when you are! >burrrrp!!<

Panel 6

Tenzil: <looking a bit repulsed> *sigh!*

PAGE 6

Panel One

Taryn: *sigh*! Finally they're leaving! I've been parked here for over two hours!

Panel Two

(Taryn looks through her window at Tenz and Tiff bording their ship)

Taryn: Maybe I am just being paranoid after all. I mean... it looks like Tenz is having fun. But I just can't shake this feeling that something is going to happen...

Panel Three

(Taryn presses the buttons to power up her ship for take-off)

Panel Four

(The ship begins making strange noises)

Taryn: Hmm... that's funny.

Panel Five

(Taryn's ship completely shorts out)

Taryn: Grife! Now I'll have to get this fixed!

PAGE 7

Panel 1

*panel shows Dev-Em stirring awake*

Panel 2

Lester: Devkins!! Oh... oh, man, I have been SO worried about you...!!

Panel 3

Dev-Em: Wh... what's happened...? Where are we?

Lester: When I first awoke, I thought it was Metropolis Manmeet...

Panel 4

Lester: ...but it isn't.

*scene pulls back to reveal Les, Dev and various other male heroes who have been captured; all are stripped to their undergarments and manacled to the wall*

Panel 5

Weight Wizard: It's Nardo.

Lester: What's that, blondie? Nerdo?

Panel 6

Weight Wizard: You've never heard of the galactc tyrant Nardo?

Lester: Can't say that I have...

PAGE 8

Panel One

Weight Wizard: Nardo was a pirate, scourge of his own galaxy until law enforcement officials chased him out. Now he's arrived in our sector of space, determined to punish all who seek to maintain the cause of freedom and justice and goodness.

Panel Two

Lester: Doesn't sound like a very nice fellow at all!

Blockade Boy: He's not! And who knows what horrible fate awaits us once these Nardobots get us to wherever we're going!

Panel Three

Lester: *gasp*!

Key Kid: Not to worry. I, Key Kid, can easily get us out of these manacles at any point I so choose, by using my power to unlock any lock or security system. We just want to see what exactly Nardo is up to, so we can foil his overall plans.

Panel Four

Lester: You mean... you let yourself be captured by Nardo?

Key Kid: In a sense, yes.

Blockade Boy: The only way we can defeat Nardo once and for all is to infiltrate his prison camp!

Panel Five

Lester: Okay, you guys can do your little infiltration bit, but mind getting me and Devkins out now?

Key Kid: I'm afraid not! If any of us escaped, the Nardroids would become suspicious!

PANEL 9

Panel 1

Lester: Oh yeah? Well, my boyfriend Dev here will bust right out of these manacles right NOW-- won't you, Dev?

Panel 2

Dev: If I could I already would have, Les... somehow those fiends are sapping ALL of my super-powers!

Panel 3

Lester: Jeebus!! You mean I'm STUCK here with all these feebs in their cheap underwear?

Blockade Boy: Hey!

Panel 4

Lester: Who yanked YOUR chain, Kid Crew-cut?

Panel 5

Dev-Em: Now, now, Lester... let's try to remain calm and civil.

Panel 6

Lester: *sigh* You're right, baby.

Panel 7

Lester: So... who are all you losers anyway?

PAGE 10

Panel One

Weight Wizard: Well, Key Kid's already introduced himself. I'm Weight Wizard, gifted with full control over my own density. I can become super-heavy or super-lightweight at will.

Panel Two

Weight Wizard: Crew Cut Kid, as you've so eloquently referred to him, is in fact Blockade Boy, hero of Amadeus, and gifted with the power to change into a steel wall.

Panel Three

Weight Wizard: To your left, there's Opposable Big Toes Boy. His ability to use his feet as hands takes the notion of being ambidextrous to a new level!

Panel Four

Weight Wizard: That's Kid Heavyfeathers over there. He gained the power to make feathers as heavy as lead when he accidentally drank a serum he invented to increase the weight of feathers.

Panel Five

Lester: Why was he trying to increase the weight of feathers?

Weight Wizard: Umm... I've never quite figured that out myself. I think it's better not to talk about that subject too much.

Panel Six

Weight Wizard: Itch Witch, Negative Nell, Multi-Maid, and our Durlan friend Took were all with us when we were captured. I don't know what's happened to them.

PAGE 11

Panel 1

Lester: Big Toes Boy? And I thought the Super-Companions were lame!

Dev: LESter...!

Panel 2

Lester: I don't CARE anymore, Dev!! All I wanted was to travel the spaceways with you, safe in arms that could move mountains! Now we're stuck HERE with a bunch of freaks who need to go underwear shopping, not to mention those heinous 3-eyed robots-- and YOUR so-called "super strength" has totally crapped out! GRIFE!!!!

Panel 3

Dev-Em: <looks defeated> I... I'm sorry...

Key Kid: Quiet! Someone's coming!

Panel 4

<2 Nardroids have entered>

Nardroid: Silence, slaves!! Show the proper respect for he who is now your master!!

Panel 5

Lester thought caption: Oh, great. Can't wait to see what the freak who built these hideous robots looks like!

Panel 6

<Nardo has joined his 2 Nardroids; all 3 are exactly alike>

Nardroid: The great & mighty NARDO!!

Panel 7

Lester thought caption: Oh, Sirius on a stick! I preferred the bald fatheads on Thrann!

PAGE 12

Panel One

Blockade Boy: Nardo, you fiend! What have you done with our comrades? If you've hurt them, I'll make you pay...

Panel Two

Nardo: Ha! Your threats are idle! It's the third round and I've just scored a knockout! And what a knockout he is!

Panel Three

(Nardo inspects Dev-Em)

Nardo: Yes. He will do quite nicely.

Lester: Hey! Keep your creepy hands off my boyfriend!

Panel Four

Nardo: Guards! Silence this fool!

Nardroids: Yes, sir.

Panel Five

(Nardobots blast Lester)

Dev (weakly): Noooo...

Panel Six

(Nardo turns to Blockade Boy)

Nardo: As for your female friends, they are enjoying similar comforts in another part of the ship. You'll be happy to know we'll be arriving at our destination shortly.

Panel Seven

Nardo (exiting): Thank you for flying Air Nardo! Ha ha ha!

PAGE 13

Panel 1

caption: Nearing Thrann...

Tenzil: It won't be long now, Tiffany!

Tiffany: Oh, I'm SO glad. I can't wait to see Lester again and deliver the news...

Panel 2

Tenzil: News? What news?

Panel 3

Tiffany: Oh, dear... ummm... the news about, ummm... Daddy's will. Personal stuff, don't you know.

Tenzil: Hoooo-kay....

Panel 4

Tenzil: >sniffing air< Grife! What died?

Panel 5

Tiffany: *tee hee!* I'm afraid that's my fault! Guess I shouldn't have had that space-chili at Stickey's...

Panel 6

Tenzil thought-caption: Cripes!! I sure miss Taryn!

PAGE 14

Panel 1

caption: Speaking of Taryn...

Taryn: So, exactly how much is it going to cost to fix this...

Mechanic: Well, it depends. Exactly how long do you want it to keep flying after we fix it?

Panel 2

Taryn: What do you mean?

Mechanic: Well, we don't exactly have all the correct parts that we need. Now you could wait here two weeks until we can get them, or we can fix it with what we got. And some clever substitutes.

Panel 3

Taryn: "Substitutes"?

Mechanic: Yeah. We got what we like to call our Legion of Substitute-Spaceship Parts. They're kind of like universal parts that will do in a pinch when regular parts for a particular ship can't be found. The problem is, they aren't exactly always up to snuff, and not nearly as reliable.

Panel 4

Taryn: O--kay. Just do whatever it's going to take to get me as far as Thrann.

Mechanic: Uh, sure miss. But, if you don't mind my asking, what are you doing headed towards Thrann?

Panel 5

Taryn: What do you mean?

Mechanic: Well, it's just you don't seem as though you'd fit in very well there, you know?

Panel 6

Taryn: What do you mean?

PAGE 15

Panel 1

Mechanic: <looking at Taryn's chest> Well, it's your... uh... you're... a girl.

Taryn: Thanks for noticing. Now notice this...

Panel 2

<Taryn lifts the mechanic into the air by his shirt>

Mechanic: AWWWP!!

Panel 3

Taryn: Now, I want you to see that your substitute parts get me to Thrann. Understood?

Mechanic: Yes'm!!!

Panel 4

<Taryn drops the mechanic>

Taryn: Good boy. I'll be in the Waiting Room. Make it snappy.

Panel 5

Mechanic thought-caption: I think I'm in love!

PAGE 16

Panel One

(On Taltar, Thora and Evillo are having a little chat!)

caption: And speaking of lovers...

Evillo: But... honey! Remember all those good times we had together?

Thora (Space-whip in hand!): Silence, cretinous male! You are now a slave of Imperial Tartarus! You will be taught to obey your female superiors!

Panel Two

Evillo: But... hon-ey!

Thora: Fool!

Panel Three

(close up on Thora's whip holding hand as she cracks it!)

Panel Four

(Thora leaving the dungeon)

Thora: I am leaving him in your hands! See that you teach him his rightful place in the social hierarchy!

Slavemistress: Yes, my lady!

Panel Five

Thora: Now... I must figure out why that delightful Taryn Loy hasn't arrived on Taltar yet! I'm so looking forward to our tea togther!

[Q: Should that read "On TALTAR" above...?]


PAGE 17

Panel 1

caption: And, in Evillo's former palace on Tartarus, a training session takes place...

Infectious Lass: WOW, Tenzil! I was surprised but thrilled to hear you wanted to join the Heroes of Tartarus after the Kem Show was cancelled... look at you eat those deathbots!

Policy Pam: He's an inspiration!

Panel 2

Tenzil: *munch!* Thanks, guys! It's awesome to be somewhere I belong!

Panel 3

*Drura approaches Tenzil*

Infectious Lass: Here's where you belong, stud...

Panel 4

*Tenzil & Drura kiss*

Panel 5

Sugyn: Ain't they sweet?

Echo-Chamber Chet: I used to have girlfriends too when I was alive alive alive alive alive alive.

Incredible Girl: Those days are long-gone for you, Chet!

PAGE 18

Panel One

caption: Elsewhere...

Nardroid: Work faster slaves! The Master will be returning soon! We must triple production by the time he gets here!

Panel Two

Plant Lad: I can't take any more of this! I'm going to use my power of becoming any plant to turn into a Venusian Octopus Vine and show those guards whose boss!

False Pretenses Lad: I wouldn't do that if I were you...

Panel Three

Biron: He's right! They'll kill you if you try to rebel!

Plant Lad: They're slowly killing us in these mines anyway! At least I could go down fighting for my freedom!

Panel Four

(blasts Plant Lad with stun gun!)

Nardo: Shut your mouths and get back to work!

Panel Five

Plant Lad (transforms in VOV and grabs Nardobot!): That's it!