Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Bits o' Legionnaire Business MATTER-EATER LAD: The Series!!!

PAGE 19

Panel 1

*Plant Lad crushes Nardroid*

Panel 2

Biron: Let's do it!! Let's fight back!

False Pretenses Lad: You can fight back if you want. I rather like it here.

Biron: Liar.

Panel 3

*Nardroids converge on Plant Lad*

Nardroid: He comes! The Master comes!! Subdue the slave quickly!

Panel 4

*Plant Lad is blasted from all sides by Nardroids*

Panel 5

*Plant Lad, back in humanoid form, lies unconscious*

Nardroid: Now the master will determine his fate. Let this be an example to you all, slaves!

Panel 6

*Nardo's ship touching down*

PAGE 20

Panel One

caption: Meanwhile, on the planet Thrann...

Panel One

*Tenzil and Tiffany's ship touching down*

Panel Two

Tenzil: Well, this certainly looks like a fun planet!

Tiffany: I guess... if your idea of fun includes lots of bald guys with giant heads!

Panel Three

Tiffany (clutching her stomach): Oooh... I'm really not feeling too well...

Tenzil: Uh... maybe there's a drug store here in the spaceport that'll take care of that upset stomach of yours.

Panel Four

*Othar approaches*

Othar: Tenzil Kem! Welcome to Thrann! I am Othar, and I must admit, I am a huge fan of yours!

Panel Five

Tenzil: Jeebus! It's always great to meet one my fans!

Othar: Well, I must admit that you'll find that you're quite popular here on Thrann! Especially since the your being here can mean only one thing: you've come to beg Lester to take you back!

PAGE 21

Panel 1

Tenzil: Lester..!!?

Tiffany: He's HERE?

Panel 2

Othar: Why yes! I've seen him, a delightful lad he is, quite loved by all on Thrann!

Tenzil: THAT'S good.

Panel 3

Othar: But I'm afraid he left Thrann a few kaplons ago.

Tenzil: That sounds LESS good.

Panel 4

Othar: It's certainly bad news for YOU, Mr. Kem. You see, Lester left in the arms of his lover Dev-Em. You're quite handsome in your own space-hillbilly way, but Dev-Em? HE put the hot pop in Popping Hotties!

Tenzil: Space-hillbilly?!?!

Panel 5

Othar: >sniffs air< What died?

Tenzil: That would be Lester's sister here. I like to call her Gas Girl.

Panel 6

Othar: Ah! I see the resemblance!

Tiffany: *arches back so that breasts are prominent*
Is there ANY way to find my brother, Mister Othar?

PAGE 22

Panel One

Othar: Well... there *is* a way. Dev-Em is an honorary member of our planet's super-hero team, The Super-Companions! As such, he wears a special communicator belt which allows us to contact him at any point!

Panel Two

Tenzil: Hey... that's great! So you can just call him up and find out where Lester is so we can meet up with them?

Othar: Unfortunately, it may not be that easy. Dev-Em often goes through long phases of not answering our summons. We attempted to contact him earlier today, but to no avail...

Panel Three

Tiffany: But I simply must see my darling brother again...

Othar: Well, fortunately we have tracking devices built into each communicator belt! I can give you a device to use to trace Lester's signal!

Panel Four

Tenzil: Sounds good! I bet Lester'll be delighted to see his best pal and his sister again!

Next Issue Box

Jeepers! Next issue has it all, as Tenzil tries to rescue Lester from Nardo, only to get captured himself! And as Taryn finds herself stranded on Thrann, Thora declares war on Bismoll!

Yet again, WE KICK ASS.

Why we aren't high-profile writers at DC already is beyond me.

Heck, I'll gladly take scale wages! Fine, $1 LESS than scale.

ISSUE #9

Page One

Prologue-- The Secret Origin of Plant Lad!

Panel One

caption: On the outskirts of the United Planets lies the recently colonized world of Simballi!

*shows planet*

Panel Two

caption: This jungle world, with its variety of wildlife, is a favorite destination of big game hunters!

*shows Otto Orion*

Panel Three

caption: Even in this wild environment, colonists have tried to maintain some semblance of civilization!

*shows colonists acting all civilized and stuff!*

Panel Four

caption: A surprisingly thriving youth culture exists on Simballi!

*shows a lot of young people dancing*

Panel Five

caption: The most popular space-rock band on Simballi was Noyd & the Navigators!

*Shows very-Beatlesque-looking band playing*

Panel Six

caption: Until one day Noyd contracted a rare jungle disease!

*shows Noyd in hospital bed*

Panel Seven

caption: His fans prayed for his recovery, but no one anticipated what would happen!

*shows Noyd getting out of hospital bed, his skin turned green*

Panel Eight

caption: Noyd discovered he had amazing powers!

*shows Noyd turning into a plant of some kind*

Panel Nine

caption: Though his fans were disappointed, Noyd realized he had a new calling in life... as Plant Lad!

*shows Noyd, now in his super-hero outfit*

Page 2

Panel 1

caption: And for a while, Noyd was just as popular as Plant Lad as he had ever been as a musician...

*shows Plant Lad saving a cat or something*

Panel 2

caption: ...UNTIL Nardo. Until utter defeat.

*shows Nardobots dragging unconscious Plant Lad through the streets*

Panel 3

caption: Until utter subjugation. Until utter humiliation.

*shows Plant Lad being hosed down with other inmates*

Panel 4

caption: And now, today... a man famous twice over on Simballi prays for death.

*Plant Lad, wearing a nullifier, is bound to a post*

Plant Lad: What are you waiting for, scum?

Page 3

Panel 1

Nardo: Waiting...? Why, my friend, we're still in training camp and the season's not yet begun!

Plant Lad: Huh?

Panel 2

Nardo: You, you lucky son of gun, have the great honor of being the guinea pig in a bold new experiment! Some day your name will be remembered in the annals of science! They'll speak of you alongside Laika!

Plant Lad: Who?

Panel 3

Nardo: Laika! The first dog in space! Earth people sent her up into orbit before they sent any humans!

Plant Lad: Sorry, man, never heard of her.

Panel 4

Nardo: Gee whiz! I thought she was famous among you humans!

Plant Lad: We didn't really study much ancient Earth history growing up on Simballi.

Panel 5

Nardo: Bah! It doesn't matter! What matters is that I have captured the perfect instrument to achieve my goals!

Page 4

*full-page splash, Nardo looks all maniacal while Plant Lad looks a bit terrified*

Nardo: Nardroids! The cosmic sand is rushing through the hourglass and I haven't got all night! BRING IN THE KRYPTONIAN!

*title/credits run along bottom of page Stupid Stalag of Space Part 2: He Fattened Me With Science!

Page 5

Panel 1

Tenzil: Okay, so if I'm reading this correctly, Dev-Em's signal leads to that small, uncharted planetoid up ahead!

Tiffany: *yawn*! That's good, I'm so looking forward to seeing Lester again!

Panel 2

Tenzil: Well, hopefully it won't be long now.

Tiffany: By the way, about that whole space-chilli incident, I hope you realize that's not a normal thing for me. I don't know what came over me!

Panel 3

Tiffany: I mean... I usually only eat the finest foods. My body just isn't accustomed to eating so commonly!

Tenzil: That's okay. Let's just not talk about it anymore.

Panel 4

Tiffany: You still like me, don't you, Tenzy-poo?

Tenzil: Listen, can you just be quiet for the time being? I've got to find somewhere to land this spacecraft safely.

Panel 5

Tenzil: There seem to be two small settlements on this world, but I don't think it's a good idea to try to land to near either of them. I've got a bad feeling about this place. I think it would be a good idea to park in the jungle until we've had some time to explore.

PAGE 6

Panel 1

Tiffany: That looks like a nice clearing over there.

Tenzil: Yes. it'll do.

Panel 2

*shows ship touching down in clearing, dense jungle all around*

Panel 3

*Tiff & Tenz disenbark*

Tiffany: Wow... I've been with Daddy to Safari planets before, but this... THIS is JUNGLE.

Tenzil: Nothing like it on Bismoll, that's for certain.

Panel 4

Tiffany: It's actually kind of eerie...

Panel 5

*vibrations shake Tiff & Tenz*

Tenzil: Jumping fishooks!

Tiffany: That NOISE...! What could it be...?

Panel 6

Tenzil: Popping planets!

*scene shows giant Phanders emerging from jungle, heading directly toward Tenz & Tiffany*

PAGE 7

Panel 1

*Tenzil grabs Tiffany*

Tenzil: Look out!

Panel 2

*Tenz pulls Tiff out of the way of the Phanders*

Panel 3

*Tenz and Tiff land in the bushes as the Phanders go by*

Panel 4

*Phanders storm into the clearing, heading straight towards spaceship*

Panel 5

Tenzil: Jeepers! That was close!

Tiffany: You... you saved me!

Panel 6

*Tenz and Taryn emerge back into the clearing to find their spaceship has been destroyed*

Tenzil: Wow! It looks like we're going to have to find another way home...

PAGE 8

Panel 1

voice from behind: You shant ever worry about "home" again, slaves! You ARE home now!

Panel 2

*Tenz & Tiff whirl around to see a Nardroid holding a ray-gun*

Tenzil: Jeebus!

Tiffany: That has GOT to be the single most ugly thing I've ever seen.

Panel 3

*Nardroid blasts Tiffany*

Nardroid: Idiotic female! This will silence your nonsensical chattering!

Tiffany: Eeeeekkk!

Panel 4

*Tenz cradles Tiffany*

Tenzil: Tiffany... oh, no...!

Panel 5

Tenzil: You BASTARD!

*Tenz leaping at Nardroid, mouth open wide*

Panel 6

*Nardroid holding ray-gun; a bite has been taken out of it*

Panel 7

Tenzil: Don't MESS with me, Apple-face-- I'm a senator!

PAGE 9

Panel 1

*Nardroid punches Tenzil, who staggers back*

Tenzil: *Ooof!*

Panel 2

*Tenzil punches Nardroid, which has no effect*

Tenzil: Oh-kay... time for a new strategy.

Panel 3

*Tenz runs and starts eating a tree*

Panel 4

*Tree falls on Nardroid*

Panel 5

*Tenz gloats over fallen Nardroid as two other Nardroids come up behind him*

Tenz: And that's what you get for messing with a senator!

Panel 6

*The other two Nardroids blast Tenz from behind*

PAGE 10

Panel 1

Lester: OooooOooohhh...

*close up of Lester's face-- he's all sweaty and stuff-- the reader shouldn't be certain whether he is groaning in pain or in pleasure*

Panel 2

*scene pulls back to reveal shirtless, sweaty Lester slaving in a mine with a pickaxe*

Lester: This is the suckiest suck that ever sucked! I don't know how much longer I can sucking take it!

False-Pretenses Lad: You've only been out here 10 minutes.

Panel 3

Lester: And I was over it about 9 minutes ago.

False-Pretenses Lad: It isn't so bad once you get used to it.

Panel 4

Lester: I don't believe you.

F-P Lad: Wise boy. My super-lying powers usually fool everyone.

Lester: I seriously doubt that.

Panel 5

*Nardroid zaps Lester*

Nardroid: Stop lollygagging, slave!

Panel 6

Lester: *under breath* Stupid three-eyed...

F-P Lad: *tee hee!* They always pick on the fresh meat!

Panel 7

*Nardroid zaps False Pretenses Lad*

Nardroid: Quit goldbricking, slave!

Panel 8

*Lester grinning at F-P Lad's pained expression*

False-Pretenses Lad: I guess we better get to it before we end up like poor Plant Lad...

PAGE 11

Panel One

*shows Taryn's ship in orbit around Thrann, on its last legs, sputtering noises coming from it*

Panel Two

Taryn: Grife! "Legion of Substitute Space-parts"... this thing better hold together long enough to get me to the ground.

Panel Three

*Taryn's ship lands in Thrann's spaceport*

Panel Four

*shows Taryn walking away from ship*

Taryn: *whew*! That wasn't so bad!

Panel Five

*Parts of ship fall off as Taryn walks away from it*

Panel Six

Taryn: Now... to check out this planet and see if Tenzil's still here...

PAGE 12

Panel 1

*Thora coverses via vid-com with Azura and Eve*

Thora: ...and the Loy woman has YET to show up!

Panel 2

Azura: She must think you are a simpleton! This is a slap in the face! YOUR face!

Panel 3

Thora: NO one-- male OR female-- slaps Thora!

Panel 4

Eve: Now ladies, I'm certain there's an explanation for Ms. Loy's tardiness...

Panel 5

Thiora: Silence, Eve! I've tolerated your wishy-washiness long enough!

Panel 6

Eve: How DARE you...?!!

Panel 7

Thora: I dare MUCH, Eve... as you well know.

Panel 8

Azura: Settle down, people... remember that the three of us are allies. Thora, if Loy won't come to you...

Panel 9

Azura continues off-panel: ...perhaps you must go to HER.

*Thora grins evilly as the light from the vid-screen gives her an unearthly glow*

PAGE 13

Panel 1

*Tiffany laying unconcious on a bed*

Panel 2

*Water splashes on Tiffany, waking her up*

Tiffany: Wha--?

Panel 3

*A large-nosed woman stands over top of Tiffany, having just poured the water on her*

Hazel: Ah... good! That finally woke you up!

Tiffany: Where am I? Who are you?

Panel 4

Hazel: Where are you? My poor dear! You are in the place you least want to be. They call me Nasal Hazel, but just Hazel will do. I've been a prisoner here for awhile.

Tiffany: "Prisoner"? *Gasp*!

Panel 5

Hazel: You're in Nardo's super-stalag of space, dearie! The prison-camp where no one escapes, or so they say!

Tiffany: "Super-Stalag of Space"? *Gasp*!

Panel 6

Hazel: Don't worry too much, though. Fortunately, the girl's wing ain't nearly as bad as the boy's. Nardo doesn't seem as interested in us, for some reason. Now get up. I've got a whole bunch of laundry to do, and you're going to help me.

Tiffany: "Laundry"? *Gasp*!

PAGE 14

Panel 1

*shows inmates walking back toward barracks*

False Pretenses Lad: Aaaaah. Another day, another bucket of slop for dinner.

Weight Wizard: I'm famished! I can't wait!

Panel 2

Lester: Can't wait to eat slop? Moron.

Blockade Boy: Don't pick on him!

Panel 3

Lester: Shut your HOLE, Kid Crew-cut. I'm hanging on by a THREAD here... I don't know WHAT'S happened to the man I love, I'm worrying myself SICK over him, AND I'm being worked like a sub-puppy... and YOU freaks could have gotten me and Dev out of this. But you REFUSED! REFUSED

Panel 4

Key Kid: We explained why we...

Lester: Shut up! I have half a mind to expose your little scheme to... WHAT the...?

Panel 5

Lester: Jeebus! Over there-- is that Tenzil...? TENZIL!

Panel 6

*Tenzil calls from across a crowd of inmates*

Tenzil: Lester!!

Panel 7

*Lester shoves Weight Wizard aside*

Lester: Outta my way, blondie!

Panel 8

*Tenzil and Lester embrace, thrilled to see each other*
Panel 9

Lester: *a tear streams from his eye* I almost didn't recognize you without your sunglasses!

False Pretenses Lad: *sarcastic expression* So much for him worrying about "the man he loves".

PAGE 15

Panel One

Lester: I'm so excited! I can't believe you came to rescue me! So... when do we leave?

Tenzil: Uh... well, Lester, you see... that's just the problem. I didn't exactly come to rescue you. Tiffany and I were looking for you, and...

Panel Two

Lester: Tiffany? You're here with that self-centered, stuck-up, boyfriend-stealing sister of mine? Bah! I don't care if I never speak to her again!

Panel Three

Tenzil: Look, she was really worried about you, and we tracked you down to this planet, and then there were these giant elephants, and then there were these three-eyed guys, and they shot Tiffany, and...

Panel Four

Lester: Shot her!?! You let my darling sister get shot by the Nardroids?!? Hmphh! She better be okay... or I'm never speaking to you again!

Tenzil: I don't know. I haven't seen her since it happened...

Panel Five

Lester: Venturan Walking Money! Now I suppose we've got to rescue Tiffany from the girl's camp acros the way as well as escaping ourselves! Could this situation get any worse?

PAGE 16

Panel 1

False Pretenses Lad: Sure it could get worse. The Nardroids could zap you with their Punishment Rays again.

Lester: *to FP Lad* Y'know what? I disliked you instantly, and being around you more has only fostered that dislike. My dislike for you has blossomed like some sort of space-lilly. Why don't you, I dunno... kind of disappear until later in this story? Maybe you could turn up again when some cannon-fodder is needed...

Panel 2

Tenzil: *to Lester* I see you've made some new friends!

Panel 3

False Pretenses Lad: Fine. I'll leave you alone. Never mind that I know where they're holding the *making quote marks with his fingers* "man you love"!

Panel 4

Tenzil: But... I'm right here!

Panel 5

Lester: *Lester grabs FP Lad* Dev!! You know where he is? Is he alright?!?

Tenzil: Dev? Who's Dev? Oh yeah-- "the hot pop in Popping Hotties" Dev.

Panel 6

Blockade Boy: Uh oh! Someone's jealous!

PAGE 17

Panel 1

caption: Later that night...

Tenzil: Okay, so here's the plan... False-Pretenses Lad here says that Dev-Em is being held in this building here.

Panel 2

Tenzil: I'll eat us a tunnel there... which we can use to grab Dev-Em and bring him with us...

Panel 3

Tenzil: In the meantime, Key Kid and his squad will sneak over to the spacecraft hangar and hotwire one of Nardo's ships...

Panel 4

Tenzil: Then we tunnel to the hangar ourselves, and blast off...

Panel 5

Tenzil: Once we've got a ship, we quickly fly over to the girl's camp to rescue Tiffany and whoever else...

Panel 6

Tenzil: Then we fly off into space, and soon enough I'm back on Bismoll and chatting with Taryn about how her tea with Thora went!

PAGE 18

Panel 1

Key Kid: Of course, we'll notify the space-authorities of Nardo's whereabouts and close down his Super-Stalag for good!

Panel 2

Lester: Fabulous, let's get to it. Tenzil, get to chomping!

Panel 3

*shows Tenzil bite into the floor* >munch!<

Panel 4

Blockade Boy: Well, I guess we're out of here too...

Lester: Look, guys, I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot but I just wanted to say...

Panel 5

Weight Wizard: Yes...?

Lester: ...Hurry the hell up and don't blow it!

Panel 6

*Weight Wizard, Key Kid & Blockade Boy exit the barracks, looking disgruntled*

Panel 7

Lester: FASTER, Tenzil-- eat it faster!

PAGE 19

Panel 1

*inside the tunnel*

Lester: Okay, I understand why we had to bring False-Pretenses Lad along, since he knows the layout of the place, but how'd we get stuck with Opposable Big Toes Boy?

Tenzil: *Chomp* Don't worry about it, Lester! Besides... you never know when a guy with four hands'll come in... er... handy!

Panel 2

Lester: Sheesh! Okay... but he smells kind of funny. I don't think I can stand being down in this enclosed environment with him much longer!

Tenzil: *Chomp*!

Panel 3

False-Pretenses Lad: We should almost be there...

Tenzil: I'll tunnel up through the floor, which should take us straight to Dev-Em's cell!

Panel 4

*a darkened room, focusing on a hole in the floor*

Tenzil (voice in hole): Let Big Toes there hold your lights while you climb out!

Panel 5

*Tenzil climbing up through hole*

Panel 6

*Tenzil and FPL pulling Lester up*

PAGE 20

Panel 1 should be a smallish rectangular panel running across the top of page

*lights come on, Tenzil & Lester look startled but FPL is smiling*

off-panel voice: Boldy venturing where no incarcerated sentient has dared venture before, I see?

Panel 2 is a rest-of-page splash featuring Tenz, Les & FPL staring down Nardo; also in the shot should be Dev-Em, bound and sickly looking, and Plant Lad, who instead of his former svelte self now easily weight 500 pounds and is lying in the floor helplessly.

Nardo: I've made a list but I'm not bothering to check it twice-- you've been VERY naughty, boys!

Lester: Dev!

Tenzil: Is Dev the fat dude?

Plant Lad: K... kill me...