Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Bits o' Legionnaire Business MATTER-EATER LAD: The Series!!!

Hmm... but I think we should leave the flashback scene for a later issue. Let's establish the character and his relationship with Tenzil and Taryn in the first issue, and then maybe around #2 or #3 someone could be wondering exactly how a rich spoiled brat ended up working as a governmental courier on Bismoll.

Okay, how's this for Page Six? Let me know if we should go in a completely different direction, Lash. I defer to you as the expert on gay lustf and stuff...

PAGE 6

Panel One
Lester stands there, lust in his eyes.

Panel Two
TENZIL: Uh... can I help you?

Panel Three
Lester looks at his package, trying to regain his composure.
LESTER: Uh... I'm... uh... looking for a Mr. Tenzil Kem... I've got a package from the Ministry of Elections...

Panel Four
TENZIL: Wowsa! I'm Tenzil Kem. Thanks!

Panel Five
Tenzil takes the package and hands Lester a tip.

Panel Six
Tenzil closes the door, leaving Lester standing there on the doorstep, so smitten he's unable to move.

*tee hee!* Me likey!

Page 6 sounds good... let's keep it rolling... (feel free to clean/spruce this up):

PAGE 7

Panel 1

Tenzil enters the den, package in hand

Dad: What's that, boy?

Panel 2

Tenz: Dunno, but it tastes important! *eats corner of package to open*

Panel 3

Tenz: It's... it's...

Dad: It's WHAT??

Panel 4

Tenz: It's my draft noice.

Dad: It's WHAT!!

Panel 5

Tenz: Goodbye to this Jackass Festival! I'm a senator now!!

We'll keep it going and polish it up later!

PAGE EIGHT

Panel One

Tenzil walks out of the house. Lester is still standing on the doorstep.

Panel Two

Tenzil kisses Lester on the cheek out of excitement.

Tenz: Thanks, man!

Panel Three

As Lester faints, Tenz stops and looks over the fence at the Loy's house next door. Taryn is standing in the yard. Strange noises are coming out of the basement.

Tenz: Hey Beautiful! I'm a senator now!

Panel Four

Taryn looks unimpressed.

Taryn: What do you mean you're a Senator?

Tenz: I've got my draft notice and everything!

Panel Five

Taryn: Uh, Tenz, just because they drafted you doesn't mean you're a Senator. Don't you ever watch the news? Drafting Senators was the old system. These days they draft candidates for the Senate. You still have to run for the office.

Tenz: Willikers! Well, how do I run a campaign?

Taryn: Didn't you get a book with the draft notice or something?

Panel Six

Tenz: Hmmm... must have left it in the house...

Page 9

Panel 1

Tenz & Taryn approach the house and see Lester still sitting on his front step, all trance-like.

Lester: *dreamy sigh!*

Tenz: You! I bet you know about this political stuff, right?

Panel 2

Lester: Oh, I'm informed about LOTS of things. I'm rich, you know. Attended the finest space-schools Daddy could find and had top of the line Teacher-trons!

Panel 3

Tenz: Hmmmmm... with your money-- (looks to Lester) --and your brains (looks to Taryn) -- and MY good looks, we just might pull this off!

Panel 4

Lester: pull it off... HUH?

Taryn: What are you babbling about, Tenzil?

Panel 5

Tenzil: Getting me elected, of course!

I think we have a hit on our hands!

Thanks, IB! I'm inclined to agree!

Hey, EDE-- I'm grooving to this 'we write every-other-page' stuff-- are you?

If so-- you're UP!

PAGE 10

Panel One

As the three stand on the doorstep of Tenz's house, Renkil pops his head out of the door.

RENKIL: There you are! I just won 30 creds at the kangabronc races, and Pop and I are goin' down to the pub to celebrate. Can you stay here with Mom? She ain't feelin' well... her nerves and stuff...

Panel Two

TENZ: So, Renkil, you finally win some money, and now you and Dad are going to blow it all on Silverale?

RENKIL: Uh... yeah, that's the plan!

TENZ: Sheesh!

Panel Three

CAPTION: AFTER TENZIL'S FATHER AND BROTHER LEAVE...

Tenzil pops in to check on his mom...

TENZIL: You alright, mom?

TENZ'S MOM: Do you know anything about Grandin Gender Reversal Disease? I think I might have a touch of it...

Panel Four
TENZIL: Uh... I dunno. Look, I'm going over to Taryn's for a little while. You be okay while I'm gone?

TENZ'S MOM: I guess. I'll just vid-phone you if I need to go to the medi-center...

Panel Five
At Taryn's house, the three sit around the kitchen table...

TENZIL: So, guys, we all ready to plan my big campaign?

NOTE TO LASH: I've decided to make Tenz's mother a crazy hypochondriac. We can go back and rewrite eariler scenes to make them consistant with this.

Sounds great, Eryk!

Page 11

Panel 1

Before the dumbfounded Taryn and dazed Lester can reply, there is a large "BOOOOM!!" from Taryn's basement.

Panel 2

Tenz: Jumping fish-hooks! What was THAT??!

Taryn: Oh, that's just Dad and his experiments again!

Panel 3

Tenz: Willikers, Taryn! I thought they carted him off to the nuthouse for his "experiments".

Panel 4

Lester: Why would they do that?

Panel 5

Taryn: Well, he gave Mom extra breasts and gave our pet parakat an extra ass. For some reason, the Bismoll Scientific Council considered this an abomination. They were gonna "cart him off" as Shades here so eloquently put it... until they found out Dad had unlocked the secret to turning the matter we consume to super-strength.

Panel 6

Lester: Jeepers! Who'd he do that experiment on?

Panel 7

Taryn: On ME. *she smashes the table they are sitting at* (looks to Lester) Who are YOU anyway, and why am I telling you any of this?

PAGE 12

Panel 1

Lester: I'm Lester Spiffany, heir to Earth's swankiest jewelry establishment!

Panel 2

Taryn: So, why are you working as a government courier on Bismoll?

Panel 3

Lester: Uh... I don't want to talk about it.

Panel 4

Tenzil: OOOO-kay. So, how are we going to get me elected?

Taryn: Why do you want to be a Senator, anyway?

Panel 5

Tenzil: I'll do anything to get out of living at home. My family's driving me crazy!

Panel 6

Taryn: All right... I've got a few ideas... but we'll definitely need some of you're money. [points at Lester]

PAGE 13

Panel 1

The scene cuts away to a dark room filled with shadowy figures. They are watching Tenz, Taryn & Lester on a vidcam.

Panel 2

Man # 1: The Loy daughter AND the imbecilic Spiffany heir? This could spell disaster for us!

Panel 3

Man # 2: That's impossible.

Panel 4

Man # 3: How is it impossible?

Panel 5

Man # 2: This is spelled t-h-i-s. Disaster is spelled d-i-s-a-s-t-e-r. So this could never spell disaster for us.

Panel 6

Man # 4: Exterminate him!

Panel 7

(man # 2 is blasted by rayguns from men #s 1 & 3)

PAGE 14

Panel 1

The scene cuts away to another dark room filled with shadowy female figures, who seem to be watching the figures in the first shadowly room.

Panel 2

Woman #1: Stupid male pigs! They are behaving exactly according to our plan!

Panel 3

Woman #2: I only hope, sisters, that our chosen champion will perform her function!

Panel 4

Woman #3: Yes, that is why we engineered things so that Kem would be the one chosen by the draft board. He is expendable. She is not.

Panel 5

Woman #2: Oh, I hope he doesn't get hurt. He's actually kind of cute...

Panel 6

Woman #1: Perhaps you'd like to have him as your slave, my dear?

Panel 7

Woman #2: Perhaps...

PAGE 15

Panel 1

The scene cuts away to still another shadowy room, this time filled with various animals! On a vid-screen is the shadowy women watching the shadowy men watching Tenz, Taryn and the rest!

Panel 2

earthquake beast: HooooOOOooonk!

panel 3

witch wolf: **HoooooooooooWL!**

panel 4

parakat: You critters aren't much for polite chitchat, are you? I thought we were discussing my extra ass.

panel 5

(Tenzil shoving a panel with the animals in it out of the way)

Tenz: ENOUGH with the subplots!! Get back to ME already... and the rest, of course!

PAGE 16

Panel 1

Scene cuts to a shadowy room where the shadowy forms of various plant-based races that have been seen in the Legion over the years are watching the shadowy animals watch the shadowy women watch the shadowy men watch Tenzil, Taryn, and Lester.

Panel 2

Shows Tenzil eating aforementioned panel.

Tenz: I'm serious! This story's supposed to about ME!

Panel 3

Taryn enters

Taryn: Hey ME Lad, just thought you'd like to know your election campaign's a huge success!

Panel 4

Tenzil: Yeah? Who'd have thought buying me my very own reality TV show would make me so popular? What a brilliant idea!

Panel 5

Taryn: Well, when I started thinking about the crazy cast of characters in your crazy dysfunctional family, it just seemed obvious that you were prime candidates to become mindless entertainment for the masses!

Tenzil: And of course, people will vote for me just to see the wacky hijinks of my family in the Capital during the second season!

(Bottom of page shows montage of scenes from the show)

PAGE 17

Tenz' reality show jingle plays along the panel borders:

If they're eating old shoes
Or even a pencil
Everyone knows it's gotta be Tenzil

The Kem Family & Friends!


Starring:

Former chef to the Legion TENZIL KEM! (panel of Tenz in chef hat, eating a spatula)

Ma Kem! (Ma lying in bed with thermometer in her mouth)

Pa Kem! (Pa guzzling pluberry wine)

Renkil Kem! (Renkil being handcuffed by Sci-Cops)

The girl next door! (Taryn is flipping the bird, her middle finger has that TV-blurred-out effect on it)

The rich guy! (Lester wearing a diamond-encrusted tank top)

Wow, I'm hooked! Somebody give these fellas a raise!

PAGE 18

Panel One

Tenzil speaking in front of a huge crowd. Shouts of "Tenzil! Tenzil!" in the background.

Tenzil: And, in conclusion, I say to you, "The planetary debt structure is nothing to get your knickers in a twist about!"

Panel Two

Tenzil greets loyal supporters after the rally.

Supporter #1: Can I have your autograph?

Tenzil: As long as I can have your vote...

Panel Three

Supporter #2 (to Supporter #3): Did you see last night's episode?

Supporter #3 (to Supporter #2): Yeah, I loved it when Tenzil had to intervene to stop Renkil from pawning the rich guy's gold-laced underpants for gambling money!

Panel Four

The Senate. Tenzil is being sworn in.

Caption: Soon...

Official: Now that you have digested the oath of allegiance, I proclaim you the newest member of the Bismollian Senate!

Panel Five

Tenzil is talking to Taryn and Lester after the swearing in.

Tenzil: Thanks guys! I couldn't have done without you! Now I don't have to live with my crazy family any more!

Panel Six

Taryn: Uh... but Tenz, have you forgotten? The voters are expecting a "Season Two"!

Tenzil: Ah... grife!

I'm having a ball with this!!

It's a shame DC doesn't accept script solicits anymore!

I wonder how Eryk and I could get this in the hands of someone at DC...? (once issue # 1 is finished, of course! Only a few pages to go!)

oh and Eryk-- is was COMPLETE & UTTER BRILLIANCE to tie-in Tenz' reality-show past from the early TMK days to his getting elected to senate post-boot! You are a jeenyus!!!

Thanks Lash!

We make a damn fine writing team!

PAGE 19

Panel 1

caption: And so everyone's favorite white space-trash family moved on up, moved on up to reside in a deluxe apartment in the sky...

(panel shows movers moving boxes into a Penthouse highrise apt.) -- in all panels, the reality show vid-cams fly around at random taping everything

Panel 2

Tenzil greets his new staff. He approaches the butler... (he is a hideous mucousy alien in a butler unifrom)

Tenzil: Ahoy there, Kid Stuffed Shirt! What's your name?

Butler: Jeeves.

Tenzil: Of course it is.

Panel 3

a weird alien woman in a maid uniform approaches

Tenzil: And you are...?

maid: I'm the maid, Shirley.

Tenzil: Surely you are, but what's your name?

Shirley: Don't get smart with me, hot-shot. I've seen you naked on the holovision!

Panel 4

(Shirley & Jeeves exit)

Tenzil: Great. Everyone needs a smart-mouthed maid who has seen them naked... I dunno how much more of this I can take. I wonder how many vacation hours I've accumulated?

PAGE 20

Panel One
Caption: A few nights later...

Tenzil: Thanks, Tar, for letting me come over...

Taryn: I'm just glad you were able to slip away from the cameras for awhile.

Panel Two

Tenzil: Yeah, I convinced them it was secret Senate business. Fortunately, they don't film that. Yesiree, I'm looking forward to a quiet night of eating pizza and watching holos with my oldest friend!

Panel Three

Taryn has walked over to the window, through which lightning can be seen. She picks a little statuette that is sitting on the window ledge.

Taryn: I've always loved these dark, stormy nights.

Panel Four

The doorbell buzzes.

Tenzil: Yes! It must be the pizza! I hope they remembered the extra motor oil on my half!

Taryn: I don't understand why you don't just make your own, Mr. "Legion chef". After all, you always complain about how they do it.

Panel Five

Tenzil opens the door to reveal a shadowy figure holding a raygun.

Panel Six

Close up on the hand of the shadowy figure. As he fire the raygun, the statuette that Taryn was holding knocks it out of his hand.

PAGE 21

Panel 1

The would-be assassin disappears into the night

Panel 2

Tenzil: Willikers!! My first assassination attempt! That's so... so... COOL!!

Panel 3

Taryn: (aggravated) *Sigh!* They MIGHT have been after me or Dad, y'know! Remember, his abominations and whatnot? Everything's not ALWAYS about YOU!

Panel 4

Tenzil: Untwist those knickers, babe! We've gotta get to the bottom of this! To the Tenzil-Mobile!

Panel 5

Taryn: Number one-- I don't wear knickers and if I did they certainly wouldn't be twisted in any way. Number two-- call me "babe" again and I'll assassinate you MYSELF.

Panel 6

Tenzil: Yes, ma'am! Now let's go!