Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Bits o' Legionnaire Business LMB Fast Facts! Ask Cobalt...

Got a question on LMB lore? Obscure, almost unanswerable?

Bah! I can answer it in seconds flat! I know the whole damn thing by heart now, after relenteless pursuit of creating the grand written history, which will be coming soon to a thread near you!

But in the meantime, anytime someone needs a quick question answered, I'm here!

For instance, H.G. Wells will one day be killed by Lucifer Lass (Ongoing tag thread) but only after a career as a time-travelling hero. But in his youth, he was known as: Time Boy!

Cobie, In which Scottish Town did Harbie and Sonnie open the "Lizzard Gizzard Haggis Shop"?

I should have known Abin would try to stump me!

Well, if I'm thinking of the same part you are, it'd be Aberdeen, unless I'm off. IIRC, this would be from the earliest part of Numf and Harbi's adventures, before Harbi decided to stay and hang out with Darkseid for awhile

This just reminded me of Numf's idea of a 'not-so Disney film', "Harbi goes bananas"...

To be honest, some Scottish centric stuff in Numf's material went over my head, such as locations, but I actually don't think I'm far off on this one

To clarify: this is to *help* people, not stump me

Admit it Cobie, you had to look it up! (Either that or you were re reading Ongoing for the sheer pleasure of it.)

Answer Man... er, Cobalt Kid! I'm confused about the character called "Nobody"! I thought this gay, miniature version of Eryk Davis Ester was absorbed into EDE-Prime along with his other alternate versions during "The Super-Jailhouse of Space!" saga. Now, I know that in an untold story EDE-Prime was revealed not to be be the real EDE at all, but how exactly is it that Nobody came to be the companion of Everyday Girl?

Well, I *kinda* cheated in that I just reread Numf's sections about two months ago, and guessed it would be Aberdeen without really knowing

Ah, a bonafide problematic bit of continuity! Allow me to give some background:

- The first Nobody appeared in "Doom of the Super-Heroes", as a member of the Light Brigade. As EDE states, he was a gay, miniature version of Eryk Davis Ester. In "The Super-Jailhouse of Space", Nobody (along with all other clones/alternate selves of EDE) was absorbed into EDE and never seen again.

Later, we learned that Eryk-Prime was actually Pornis using EDE's genetics as a way to channel his power (since Pornis is EDE's Dad), and the specifics of the EDE/LardLad/Lucifer Lass connection (and thus, all their clones) have yet to be fully revealed.

- In "The Ongoing Tag Team Thread", Everyday Girl was introduced to the LMB. We learned that she was haunted by two ghosts, named Nobody and No-One. The rest of the LMB thought these were figments of her imagination, although in fact, they were actually real! At first, it appeared there was no connection to the previous Nobody.

After a long stint as an honorary member, Everyday Girl has recently joined the LMB on Legion World and become a full-time LMBer. We have further learned that Nobody and No-One appear to look exactly like mini-versions of Cobalt Kid and Eyrk Davis Ester!

Thus, could this mini-version of Eryk Davis Ester, aka Nobody, be related to the old miniature (and gay) version of EDE?

Well, in the current "Horror! Shock! Suspense! Halloween Ongoing thread", we've been introduced to the Cackles, a race of miniature beings from another dimension. This races males all apparently look exactly like mini Cobalts and mini-EDE's and the females look like mini-Thriftshop Debutantes and mini-Space Tarts! It is in the mystery of the Cackles, that I believe we will find the answer to the mystery of Nobody and No-One, and if this current Nobody is connected in anyway to the first deceased Nobody of Light Brigade fame.

Just for the hell of it, I'm going to tell you where these characters originated from!

New character! However, the Gorilla tribe of Legion World was established in "The Good, the Dark and the Dead", and live inside the old statue of Large Handsome, Middlefinger II, which the LMB kept as a tribute, but ended up in the jungles on the outskirts of Legion World when the LMB moved here.. Cobalt Kid is an honorary member of this tribe.


Originally seen in the Ongoing LMB Tag Thread. A alternate version of Something else else Amazing exists on Earth-4, as revealed in "Crisis on Earth-4!".

First appeared in "Doom of the Super-Heroes", and has appeared occassionally since. Her brother, Kid Gender Reversal Stereotype I was killed in the line of duty in the early years of the LMB.

First scene in "The Return of Dev-Em", Dollyputo is the computer essence of Dolly Parton, Lucien Lad and Lash Lad! She also played a fairly prominent role in "The Day Legion World Stood Still".


First seen in "Hot Summer Nights", Turns You Into a Country Fred is actually Turns You Into a Country Kid possessed by the spirit of Clothes Fall Off Fred. A sometimes LMB antagonist and sometimes LMB ally, TYIC Fred looks just like Freddy Prinze Jr. He has appeared numerous times since, notably in "Doom of the Super-Heroes", "The Jailhouse of Space", "The Return of Dev-EM" and "The Ongoing LMB Tag Thread".

KGSR II and TYIC Fred, along with Lardy, Space Tart and Omega Man, were also a part of the Scooby-verse LMB in "Doom of the Super-Heroes".

As stated in my first post: H.G. Wells will one day be killed by Lucifer Lass (Ongoing tag thread) but only after a career as a time-travelling hero. But in his youth, he was known as: Time Boy!


Character created by Lash Lad (and Eryk Davis Ester, with influence from others), yet to be used in LMB lore. However, he most likely has had adventures with the LMB that have not been chronicled.

Blok the Pet Rock is the oldest character on this list, going back to the earliest weeks of the LMB, in their year one. A charter member of the Legion of Message Board Super-Pets, Blok had many adventures with the LMB before the LMB ordered them to disband. He would appear occasionally over the next four years to help them on many missions.

In their Year Four, he played a pivotal role in beating the One Called the One in the missing 5 page gap of "Hot Summer Nights", which led to his death.

However, in "the Super Jailhouse of Space", a character named Lisp Lass resurfaced, which did not make sense, since Lisp Lass was revealed to be The One Called the One in "Doom of the Super-Heroes". This second Lisp Lass was none other than Blok the Rock, whose mind was warped by his 'sacrifice'. With the help of the LMB, he was able to recover and rejoin his friends.

Following Piddlin' Pup's turn as an enemy of the LMB, the LMB reinstated the old rule of disbandign the Legion of Message Board Super-Pets, and Blok and Piddlin' Pup have tried to help each other get over such tragic events in the later years of their lives.

Speaking of Piddlin' Pup going evil (or possibly an alternative Earth evil Piddlin' Pup, i don't think we ever established which) how many LMBPers have gone evil over the course of it's history? And have any of them actually stayed evil and not rejoined the LMBP?

Yeah, where'd the Pup go? He nearly messed up my boots in that first group portrait we had "taken." I wanted to kick him into Low Earth Orbit, but I held back ...

She certainly does! Those of you unaware of this, Space Tart developed a power in "Doom of the Super-Heroes" that allows her to pull out key items to help in missions. The twist, of course, is that she does it by pulling these items out of people's asses!

A side effect is when these objects are larger than the person's ass can handle, it instantly kills the person in a gruesome way.

It's been established that this power is a left over effect of Space Tart gaining a bond with the Emerald Ass of Ekron during the LMB's Year Four (in the tag thread "The Emerald Ass of Ekron"). The Emerald Ass has since been destroyed in "Crisis on Earth-4!" in the LMB's year five.

Of course, LMB authors know that this power has some editorial history to it: this power was first given to Leap Year Lass (aka Teeds), who definately did not want it. It was then passed to Princess Crujectra, who also explained that it was not a power she decided, before it was finally given to Space Tart, who was retconned in to take their place in "Hot Summer Nights" and "Doom of the Super-Heroes".

Since then, Spacey has married Cobalt, died, brought back to life by Cobalt, rejoined the LMB on Legion World, had her marriage with Cobalt annulled, etc. But she still has the power!

Whatever happened to the Giant Robotic Lesbian?

LMBers who have betrayed the LMB:

Lucien Lad – his greatest betrayal has not taken place yet, and will in the “5 Years Later” story, but he’s betrayed the LMB and gone evil a few times in between, most notably in “The Return of Dev-Em”. Crusader has speculated that this stems from his powers, and the strain of so much fabulosity bestowed on one person. Other LMBers secretly fear a connection between Lucien Lad and the Time Mouse Trapper. The Earth-4 Lucien Lad, Glamour Puss aka Gay-lipso, has always been evil.

Lard Lad – LardLad has struggled with his dark side since early in the LMB’s first year (see his current Onevision, “Turning Point”). All other alternate versions of Lardy have been shown to be evil, and he has killed in the past, most notably Psychotic Beaver. In the “Five Years Later” future history, he will be revealed to be the most dangerous threat to the universe of them all.

Shark Lad – During the LMB’s second year, Shark Lad went evil for a period that brought incredible turmoil to the LMB. This is a famous time period known as “The Day Shark Lad went Evil”. The guilt of becoming so enthralled with evil drove Shark Lad away from the LMB for nearly three years.

Space Tart – During this same period, Space Tart was possessed by the Emerald Ass of Ekron and joined Shark Lad.

Eryk Davis Ester – It was once believed that Eryk Davis Ester went evil for a period too, as the powerful Eryk Prime, but it has since been revealed that this was not really Eryk at all, but the work of Pornis, Eryk’s father, controlling him. However, much of this mystery remains precisely that: a mystery. The true connection of Pornis, The One Called the One, LardLad, Eryk Davis Ester and Lucifer Lass may still be revealed.

Blok the Rock Not an actual LMBer, Blok was a founding member of the LMB Super-Pets in the LMB’s Year One. After seemingly sacrificing his life in the missing five page gap of “Hot Summer Nights” against the One Called the One, Blok resurfaced when he was revealed to be the second Lisp Lass in “Super Jailhouse of Space”, whose mind had been shattered by his sacrifice.

Piddlin’ Pup Not an actual LMBer, but a founding member of the “LMB Super-Pets” in the LMB’s year one, Piddlin’ Pup was revealed to be the mysterious evil mastermind in “The Return of Dev-Em”, after seemingly uniting LardLad, Lucien Lad, Shark Lad, Eryk Davis Ester and Space Tart together as the six evil traitor LMBers (Spacey and Eryk were revealed to not be what they seemed). Piddlin’ Pup has spent the months since with Blok the Rock, as the two cope with the strain of their recent years.

Other evil LMBers: Lash Lad (during “The Day Shark Lad went Evil”), Fat Cramer – Blockade Boy – Icefyre – Super Lad Kid (who joined Tarik the Mute’s Academy for a time). These LMBers were only evil for a brief period of time and quickly became good again.

Not evil, but antagonistic Tamper Lad (always), Space Ranger (“The Alt ID Rebellion”)

Began evil, but went good and joined the LMB Yellow Kid, Emerald Empress

Dark Stu – During the infamous “Dark Stu Saga”, Stu became the most potent source of evil and betrayal in the history of the LMB, as it appeared he was a maniacal tyrant that would destroy him. In a twist, it was revealed that Stu was never evil or a traitor at all, and that a mass illusion had been used on the LMB by their enemy Phineas B. Fuddle.

Dark Priestess Viviane – During “The Good, The Dark and the Dead” Saga, the Avalonians, led by LMBer High Priestess Viviane went to war with the LMB and Legion World. However, it was revealed that this was the work of the Sorceress Morgause, a kinsman of Viviane.

The Red Bee The only real traitor of the LMB who went evil and stayed evil. He infiltrated the LMB for ten months and worked against them in a variety of ways, before finally going evil in “The Good, the Dark and the Dead”. He is also responsible for the death of Space Ranger, and is widely considered to be the worst traitor of the LMB.

I can of course go much more in depth on all of these .

Only LMBer to go evil and stay evil: Red Bee

She hasn't posted in a long-time, but she can often be seen at SHAKES sitting by the pool and watching the woman's synchro-swimming team.

Following "The Return of Dev-Em", both Piddlin' Pup and Blok the Rock spent time together coming to terms with their attempts at evil and the strain of their recent years. Blok has recently resurfaced in the Halloween thread, but apparently Piddlin' Pup is still recuperating.

What ever happened to the Emerald Dildo Fairy? I have a vague feeling she died or was transformed or something but I don't recall how exactly.

Oooh, and here's a challenege (largely because we haven't ever had a definative answer); who, or what, is the Time Mouse Trapper?

Since the Time Trapper turned out to be Cosmic Boy just before Zero Hour, my vote is that the Time Mouse Trapper is the love child of Cobalt Kid and Minnie Mouse

Hey! It could happen! Given enough liquor, Minnie would do it with Cobie

If a can-can can but a pole poll can't, at what speed do Spirit and Blizzard collide?

The Emerald Dildo Fairy first appeared in “Super Jailhouse of Space”, as a magically fairy that inhabited, well, the Emerald Dildo of Ekron. By this point in LMB history, a few Emerald ‘somethings’ of Ekron had already appeared most notably the Emerald Ass in Year Two.

During the course of that story, many were led to believe that Kid Prime and the Emerald Dildo Fairy were brother and sister from the future, and were actually the children of Lucien Lad (a gay man) and Hummer Lass (a vaginal sex virgin). By the end of the story though, this was largely disproved and the origin of the Emerald Dildo Fairy was never revealed.

Sometime later, in “The Assault on Thora”, the LMBers invading Taltar (a different story entirely) the LMB learned that one of the many weapons used on Taltar was a device called the Golden Dildo of Taltar. This was used on Space Ranger infamously during this story, mind-controlling him, until Semi-Transparent Fellow and Varalent freed him.

This is relevant, because later in “the Ongoing Tag Thread”, two LMBers on a mission, Dev-Em and Kara, found themselves attempting to destroy the Golden Dildo of Taltar, when they were ambushed by Vaginimus. During this battle, the Emerald Dildo of Ekron was drawn to the battle, to help her friends, the LMB. The combination of energies and sexual magic triggered an explosion, and created a unique moment: the Emerald Dildo of Ekron and the Golden Dildo of Taltar combined into one large explosion that was controlled by the Emerald Dildo Fairy. The Emerald Dildo Fairy and these energies combined into one large, beautiful majesty of energy, and created the much beloved Star 69.

*This is actually the famous post by Vee that I love so much and always talk to him about.*

At that exact moment, sentients everywhere achieved orgasm unlike anything they ever experienced, and were so enthralled that they decided they could never reach that state again. Thus, the ‘Church of the Great Orgasm” formed, and have battled the LMB since (“Ongoing Tag Thread”).

Vaginimus has not been seen since, and many believe the experience of being at the epicenter of Star 69’s explosion calmed the once raging enemy of the LMB.

Star 69 itself has recently appeared, in LMB Infinite Crisis, and was near the Monitor’s Ship, and the destination of the Emerald Empress before she passed on.

Thus, the Emerald Dildo Fairy is no more.

Minnie is cute!

This reminds me that I should be typing my next installments of 21st Century Legion!

Much mystery surrounds the identity of the Time Mouse Trapper, and there are many theories.

There is of course, the Entity not a person theory, that the Time Mouse Trapper is a primordial force, with no one identity, existing in the form of a mouse to plague the LMB.

There is the Time Mouse Trapper is Lash Lad theory, which stems from the “Great Cogaaad Saga”, in which The Time Mouse Trapper was revealed to be Lash Lad from an alternate time that kept the Living Retcon powers from year two, and allowed them to corrupt him. Split from his mouse pesonna and human persona, the time-traveling mouse left in search of cheese, traveling through time, leaving the evil Lash Lad powerless at the end of time. This was the last time the Time Mouse Trapper has been seen, about two years ago. There are some, however, who believe that this was not really a true event, and a ploy by the Time Mouse Trapper, or even a mistake by the universe itself.

There is the Seahorse/Time Mouse Trapper theory, as many believe that the TMT was actually the beloved LMBer Seahorse, who has not been seen since early Year Four (a former pseudo-founder and leader of the LMB). This really of course stems from the fact that the Time Mouse Trapper was an alt of Seahorse’s back on the old L* Board at the original DCMBs.

There is the Lucien Lad/Time Mouse Trapper theory, although most are not privy to it. There is definitely a strange connection between the Time Mouse Trapper and Lucien Lad, which is slowly being revealed in Bevis’ own Onevision, which I can’t wait to read

Some may not realize that there is a great animosity that exists between the Time Mouse Trapper and the LMB, and it has become far beyond personal. Although once a simple antagonist and even an ally in a Year Two crisis, the Time Mouse Trapper was responsible in Year Three for the fake births of babies to Princess Crujectra, Homecoming Queen, Space Tart and Cobalt Kid (as father, the mother was Debauchery Damsel). The outcome of this crushed many LMBers spirits, leaving rifts in many relationships, as Crujectra’s twins were made to never have existed and Space Tart and Cobalt Kid had to destroy their demonic son (a ploy by both the Time Mouse Trapper and Dr. Albert Hoffman), as well as Cobalt’s evil time-traveling son, the Arch-Duke of Time. Since then, the TMT’s attacks have been much more personal and hurtful, and the LMB purposely showed no mercy in abandoning him at the end of time during their last fight in Year Five.

I swear I'll finish that at some point as well. I do know pretty much what's going to happen there. Without giving a huge amount away the theory I'm sort of following is that TMT is Lash, but we are dealing in that story with time travel, cross dimensional travel and retcons which means that while it will be a secret origin (of sorts) for Lucien Lad it won't automatically follow that it's the origin for TMT.

Uncle Space! I forgot all about Uncle Space! The future version of the immortal Uncle Sam, symbolizing universal freedom or some such nonsense, right?

Since he hasn't been used in LMB continuity, I'm claiming him for MEL:TS! If it ever returns *cough cough*, glances at EDE *cough cough*.

I HAVE A QUESTION!

Didn't Nads-Kicker Lass and Penis-Eradicator Lad appear in an LMB tale, and if so which one?

I HAVE ANOTHER QUESTION!

Did I create or at least co-create these characters, and if I didn't, why did I take it upon myself to write their origin story?

I honestly can't remember. Thanks, Cobie!