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Bad jokes
by Invisible Brainiac - 02/03/25 03:43 AM
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461 |
Did you know that BEER contains FEMALE HORMONES?
Last month the University of Lesotho announced the discovery of Female Hormones in beer.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones as hops contain Phytoestrogens and that by drinking enough beer men turn into women. They tested the theory thus:
100 men drank 10 pints of beer each, within a one hour period nad it was observed that 100% of the test subjects;
1)Argued over nothing
2)Refused to apologise when obviously wrong
3)Gained weight
4)Talked excessivelt without making sense
5)Became overly emotional
6)Couldn't drive
7)Failed to think rationally
and finally
8)Had to sit down to urinate
They considered that no further testing was considered necessary and they decided to issue this general warning that men should reconsider their intake of Beer
The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461 |
just sharing something funny I found elsewhere on the Web. Don't shoot the messenger.
The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461 |
A guy in his car is stuck in a traffic jam. Suddenly, someone comes to his car and knocks on the window.
The driver asks, "What's happening?"
"Well, some terrorists took G.W. Bush as a hostage, and ask for a 1 million dollar ransom or they will put some gasoline on him and set him on fire."
"Oh God!"
"So, we go from car to car to collect what people can give."
"And how much do people give in the average?"
"About 5 gallons..."
The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 12,948
Don't Stop Peelieving
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Don't Stop Peelieving
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 12,948 |
What's bad about that one???  
"Anytime a good book like this is cancelled, I hope another Teen Titan is murdered." --Cobalt
"Anytime an awesome book like S6 is cancelled, I hope EVERY Titan is murdered." --Me
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
Not much between despair and ecstacy
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Not much between despair and ecstacy
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141 |
Two Lord of the Rings jokes:
Q: Why did Tolkein write more than one Lord of the Rings book?
A: Force of hobbit.
Q: If Gandalf were a teacher, what would he say to students who failed his class?
A: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,169
Leader
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Leader
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,169 |
Q: What happens when a tornado hits an Italian cheese shop?
A: There's da brie everywhere.
Wait a minute ...
Say it out loud.
There ya go!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 9,168
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 9,168 |
What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
A pickpocket snatches watches...
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 34,634
Bold Flavors
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Bold Flavors
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 34,634 |
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,724
Deputy
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Deputy
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,724 |
Q - What's brown and sticky?
A - A stick.
-------
Q - What's blue and sticky?
A - A Smurf eating an ice cream cone.
[edited for family values]
Hic!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
Not much between despair and ecstacy
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Not much between despair and ecstacy
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141 |
What did Inspector Clouseau say when he got sick?
"Swine flu!"
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 5,607
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 5,607 |
What's Superman's favorite part of a joke?
<span class="spoiler_containter"><span class="spoiler_wording">Click Here For A Spoiler</span><span class="spoiler_text">The "punch" line...</span></span>
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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strange but not a stranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030 |
Originally posted by Suddenly Seymour:
Q: What happens when a tornado hits an Italian cheese shop?
A: There's da brie everywhere.
Wait a minute ...
Say it out loud.
There ya go! Shouldn't this be a French cheese shop?
Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 5,607
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 5,607 |
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030
strange but not a stranger
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strange but not a stranger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57,030 |
A priest, a gorilla, and a cowboy walk into a bar. The bartender cries out "What is this? Some kind of bad joke?"
Big Dog! Big Dog! Bow Wow Wow!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 5,607
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 5,607 |
Why did Bruce Wayne's date go so badly?
<span class="spoiler_containter"><span class="spoiler_wording">Click Here For A Spoiler</span><span class="spoiler_text">Because he has bat breath...</span></span>
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,632
Like the Phoenix
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Like the Phoenix
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,632 |
Christo has died. His coffin will be completely wrapped in white cloth.
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,632
Like the Phoenix
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Like the Phoenix
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,632 |
Q: What sound does a stoner with a sore throat make?
A: "HEMP HEMP. HEMP HEMP."
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,493
Leader
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Leader
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,493 |
In Andy Sidaris' 1979 film " SEVEN", "Drew Savano" (William Smith) assembles a team of assassins, including weapons specialist "The Professor", played by Richard LePore. The Professor asks Savano the following: " What would be the scientific result, of crossing a donkey with an onion?"
"I tell you what... why don't you just TELL me?"
"Alright. Now, most of the time, you wind up with an onion with long, floppy ears.
But every once in a while... you get a PIECE OF ASS that'll brings tears to your eyes." 
Last edited by profh0011; 07/20/24 09:01 PM.
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,523
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,523 |
ok that made me laugh 
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 9,068
Long live the Legion!
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Long live the Legion!
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 9,068 |
I was going to tell y'all a joke about time travel.
But you didn't like it.
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 7,449
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 7,449 |
Lol. Thanks Set. I'm laughing and I don't remember why. Maybe it'll come to me soon.
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,632
Like the Phoenix
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Like the Phoenix
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,632 |
Did you hear about the undead stand-up comedian?
He was fired for working blue.
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,523
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,523 |
Why do people find Micro Lad rude?
because he's often short with everyone!
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JT.Hawk
Vancouver, British Columbia
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