Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Bits o' Legionnaire Business X-Men Alternate Timeline Version 2.0

NOTE 1: The first thread of this kind had a point of divergence from canon when Phoenix (Jean Grey) is about to consume the home planet of the D'Bari; this time, the Imperial Guard prevents her from committing mass murder, and therefore Phoenix does not have to die.

NOTE 2: This new thread has a far different point of divergence: The aftermath of the Muir Island Saga (Uncanny X-Men 278-280, X-Factor 69,) in which all of the various heroic and anti-heroic mutants from the Chris Claremont Era converged to battle the monstrously powerful telepath known as the Shadow King. By the time the smoke cleared, Professor Charles Xavier had lost the use of his legs again, his illegitimate son David Haller aka Legion was in a coma, and everything Doctor Moira MacTaggert had worked her whole life for was destroyed.

NOTE 3: The Muir Island Saga was almost, but not quite, the end of the road for Claremont; he had quit halfway through scripting UXM 279, and Fabian Nicieza finished up the storyline, under what Nicieza has described as chaotic behind-the-scenes conditions. Claremont was lured back to script and co-plot X-Men v2 issues 1 through 3, and to tie up a few (but far from all) of his loose ends. I have decided not to include XMv2 #1-3 as canon, as I think it's not a very good story, and I also have my own plans for Magneto, who was the focus of that storyline.

NOTE 4: In fact, I've decided that in this alternate universe, ALL OF the X-Books were cancelled after the Muir Island Saga. The exact cutoff issues are: Uncanny X-Men 280, New Mutants 100, X-Factor 69, Excalibur 41, and Wolverine 47.

NOTE 5: I toyed with the idea of narrowing it down to 2 books (XMv2 and UXM,) but in the end, decided to gather all of the mutants under one single umbrella -- XMv2.



COMING NEXT WEEK:

The mutants are in such a state that they need no less than a savior, to bring them all back together (and to pay all of their debts.) Who will it be? Find out in X-Men v2 #1, "FROSTY GODMOTHER."

NOTE: This story is dedicated, with gratitude and great admiration, to Peter Allen David.


PART 1, CHAPTER 1: Shadowcat




Katherine Pryde did not know who she was anymore.


It was something that had run in the family for generations, she told herself sarcastically.  Her paternal grandfather, Samuel Prydeman, had had his surname changed at Ellis Island.  Her father, eager to assimilate, had deliberately changed his first name from Karel to Carmine.  She smirked at the idle thought that if a punk rocker really was a Jew pretending to be an Italian, then her father was way ahead of his time.


But making silent quips to herself wasn't helping Katherine with the situation she found herself in at that moment.  In her moments of greatest drama, she even felt as if she was dealing with the same sort of Satanic bargain as Faust!


Except that comparing Emma Frost to Satan was an insult to Satan.  There I go again with the smartaleckery, she thought.  Maybe, she mused further, I should get out of the superhero business and become a stand up comedian like the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, only, y'know, a real Jew, instead of the shiksa actress who played Mrs. Maisel!  They might as well have cast Kristen Stewart as Mrs. Maisel, for God's sake!


Avoidant behavior, she scolded herself sternly.  Okay, then, Kitty (the name by which only her family and friends addressed her,) time to bite the bullet and deal with it!


In a nutshell (emphasis on nuts) the mutant superhero team she had once been a member of, the X-Men, had gruesomely self-destructed.  The team's founder, Professor Charles Xavier, was comatose and paralyzed and would, quite likely, return to being a paraplegic (if he did actually recover.)  His most loyal ally, Doctor Moira MacTaggert, had seen her island base destroyed.  Then, in a moment of desperate hand-washing, Dr. MacTaggert had signed the devastated property over to Emma Frost.


And what had Katherine been doing while all this was going on?  Gallivanting across alternate universes and whimsical dimensions while comfortably residing in a lighthouse on the coast of England.  So much for advancing Xavier's dream of mutants and humans living in perfect harmony, she told herself.  Talk about avoidant behavior!  To say nothing of pointlessness!


Then again, she thought, the X-Men HAD faked their own deaths, leading the none-the-wiser Kitty Pryde and Kurt Wagner to form Excalibur at the naive urging of Rachel Summers, the time-travelling daughter of Scott Summers and Jean Grey who had somehow ended up in the wrong timeline.  AND the other two members of Excalibur, Captain Britain and Meggan, were not actually mutants.  


Kitty smirked again, this time at the absurdity of it all.  Either God has a strange sense of humor, she mused, or He's a badly burned-out writer of cheap fiction.


What all this nonsense came down to was that Emma Frost was now sponsoring a new team of mutants, and Kitty had been approached by Emma about becoming a member.  No, not just a member, but The Face of the Team!  The Acceptable Face of Mutantkind, who would placate all those bigots she'd much rather kick in the eye. In short, Emma was offering Kitty the proverbial golden carrot.


Except that KItty's first instinct was to tell Emma where to shove that carrot.  NOT that Kitty HAD ACTUALLY SAID THAT to Emma.  Proof, Kitty supposed, that she had matured at least a little bit since she had first met Emma.


How long ago was it now, KItty asked herself, four or five years?  The exact number doesn't really matter, I guess.  I do recall very clearly that I was 13-and-a-half when I first encountered the Unsinkable, Unkillable, Utterly Exasperating Emma Frost...


NO, Kitty interrupted herself, I'm not going to dwell on it, not going to run a Very Special Clipshow Episode of my own life through my head.


Instead, she thought of the original Godfather movie, and one of its most memorable, most quoted lines:


"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer."


Hanging onto that notion as hard as she could, Kitty dialed Emma's private phone number.


"Why, hello, Katherine," Emma answered in that ridiculous affectation of an English accent, "I just KNEW you would see the light."


Kitty closed her eyes and gritted her teeth.  Don't tell Emma what you really feel like saying to her.  Cut her some slack, even though she doesn't deserve any.  And at least give Emma credit for doing a better English accent than Madonna Ciccone.


"Yes, Miss Frost," Kitty replied in her most saccharine voice, "I realize now I belong in your team."


"God bless you, my darling.  I shall make all the necessary arrangements, and my assistant, Christian, will get back to you shortly."


"Miss Frost?" Kitty began to enquire, "What are you going to call the new team?"


"Why, the X-Men, of course!  Why tamper with perfection?"


Kitty's mind reeled with disturbing images of her assaulting Emma physically, but she kept up the friendly pretense, even slipping into a cheesy English accent herself.  "Splendid, I fully agree with you.  I eagerly await seeing you in person again."

"As do I, Katherine, as do I.  Tara for now, sweetie."


I hate her, Kitty thought.  I hate myself.  I hate all humans, all mutants, the whole world.  Then, after taking a deep breath, she told herself, but I'd hate myself even more if I wasn't there by Emma's side, so that when the time's right, I'll throw a spanner into her latest scheme, and laugh in her face when it all comes falling down around her.


Revenge, Kitty told herself, is a dish best served cold.


That's Shakespeare, right?  Shakespeare, the overrated anti-semitic bastard.


I hate life.


BUT I'M GONNA FACE IT HEAD-ON!


(And I just remembered, it was Dorothy Parker.  She's okay. I think. I hope.)





To Be Continued

Nice start. Kitty is a favourite of mine too.

I stopped collecting comics in the 90s just after the Muir Isle saga so I am looking forward to seeing where you take the team.

Thanks for the kind words, Stile. Yeah, Kitty's a great character; at first I was worried I was portraying her as too abrasive, but then I thought, no, she's complex! Anyone who's been through such otherworldly experiences at such a young age is bound to have a salty side to their personality.

Next chapter coming soon...