Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board I must confess:

Thanks for sharing, guys.

Very happy for both of you.

Gives me renewed hope.

On a somewhat similar note, I must confess that I realized recently I'm not the happy go lucky person I thought I was. I was actually a profound pessimist constantly looking for others to prove me wrong. Now that I've accepted that about myself, I'm moving towards a more balanced outlook.

thank you Fanfie! and I'm happy for you and your realization, that sounds like a very nice bit of personal growth!

Good for you, Ann. The old saying "Know thyself" is so simple, yet very difficult. But we have faith in you.

I'm thoroughly sick of this fuckin week. First, Red passes on the 4th. He's the man I built my house with. The two of us did 95% of the work. I've known him since I can remember, he's known me longer.

Then, I gave up the 4th to take a run because they've been in short supply lately and the bonus for working on a holiday was pretty good. I was looking at a decent week, until the last two runs of the week crapped out on me. So, today I did two carbon loads which pay only okay, not good, not great, just basically maintaining.

Then, I get within a mile of the house and Carol calls me to say "Hey, the car's broke down. It'll go in reverse, but not forward." So, i head to town, we get triple a on the line, 20 minute wait. 20 minutes turns into 3.5 hrs...in the South Carolina sun, on asphalt, in July. I run out of cigars, so carol comes back from the house to let me go get them, only for me to find out that now Murphy USA has turned into that bunch of business dickheads that wanna scan your drivers license.

Now I have to find a new gas station to buy from.

So yeah. Fuck this week.

aw man, I'm sorry Rick. that's a lot to come piling on in one week.

and my condolences for Red, sounds like he was an amazing guy

Sounds liked it sucked. So sorry to hear about Red. That's rough.

I must confess I don't like myself very much. Yesterday, I looked at an article about people who seek validation too much. It was like looking in a fun house mirror. I've been in therapy my entire adult life, and I still don't understand where this childish neediness is coming from. But it's there, and it makes me do crazy things, like fretting when people don't comment on my fan fics, or when they don't reply to my other posts, or my texts or emails. I actually feel deeply ashamed of myself for even making this post, but I'm at a point where I'll try almost anything to quiet down the noise in my head.

The hardest thing in the world for some people is to look inward, and once having done so, accept what they see as is, and decide to change that. Once you accept who you are, you can work on becoming who you want to be.

I'm 55 and still working on it. It's an ongoing process. Expecting instant change is a stumbling block. Change takes time, and sometimes, it's only a change because you decide to be that person, even though you feel deep down you aren't.

No one is perfect. Just give yourself the challenge to do/be the best you can, that's all you can do. And if you were as bad as you think, you wouldn't be so popular here, liked and respected as a member of this community. If nothing else, start from there and go run your race.

What rick said, Annfie. Self-awareness is the first step, and it;s good that you are comfortable and strong enough to be honest with others about what you feel and think. being open and honest with others goes a long way!

As above, but would like to mention that self awareness should also come with perspective.

For example, awareness of feelings such as fretting that there aren't Bits comments. Lots of social media platforms, and other forums, have likes and reposts as part of their central model. Because they know there's a little rush loads of people get from them. So, there's almost a little withdrawal when there isn't the affirmation.

So you're fretting over something that's human nature. And on a forum where the traffic reading Bits will be smaller, in a niche in the world of comics.

Thanks for the good advice, everybody.

You are very kind.

I've decided to take a few weeks off from Legion World, to work on myself and to work on reaching out more to people.

See you in September.

Well just you remember what Rick said...


...and get back here as soon as you can. We agree once in a blue moon, and I'll miss that.

Take care, Annfie

I've definitely had the experience of being disappointed when I check the boards to see what kind of response my latest brilliantly crafted post has received only to find that no one has acknowledge it.

But then I always think about how erratic I myself can be about responding to stuff even when I'm interested in it, and realize that it's best not to take things like that personally.

it's not you, it's us; people get busy, or just plain tired.

I, for one, try not to respond TOO much lest I take over a conversation, for example.

Make it back soon Annie!

I get the exact same way - I get very little feedback from my writing and it frustrates me also. I just got passed over for a work award when the rest of my team was recognized, so I feel like a pretty massive failure in most of what I do, even though I know rationally that I am not. Its hard.

We will be super happy to see you back when you're ready!

I wish I had more time and energy to read/comment on stuff in Bits. I'm almost always impressed when I do read something, but it's hard to get to these days.

I've been feeling disappointed in myself for lack of motivation lately. There's all these things that I want to be doing, and that I know I'd be happier if I was doing them, and there's nothing stopping me from doing them (which there was for along time), and yet I find myself not actually doing them, and I just don't understand why.

GL, sorry to hear about that work bit. but indeed, that's not the be-all end-all of your worth

EDE, I empathize, it takes time and energy to dive into some Bits work. especially when it's long-running stuff. re motivation, it comes in waves for me - I just think about all the long stretches of dormancy I've had in my own writing. those tended to coincide with other priorities, like finishing my Master's and finding a job in Europe... I've learned from that that sometimes it's external circumstances that slow things down

Yep, agree with the time thing. I'm really waiting for things to ease back down, but it will likely be in the fall. While we are mostly moved in, we have a project to finish the basement about to kick off soon that will take time. I typically take notes as I read so I can make intelligent comments but that all takes time.

Probably too late for you to read Annfie, but you are so good at pouring out your love when we need it here on the boards. I hope you can do the same for someone else who needs and deserves it - you.

Take care and look forward to hearing from you again.

If you figure anything out, let us know. I was just thinking the same the other day.

With my Bits fanfic, I've learned that I'm really writing for myself. I have one unfinished story that I know I've got to finish...for myself. I set out to write it, so I could riff on a planned-but-never-written concept that Exnihil and Cobie were planning called Time War. I'm a sucker for time travel and alternate timelines, so I new that I had to write something that was a sort of spin-off to Time War. It was also a good way for me to work out how much I missed (and still miss) Cobie here by writing a story about his absence and the absence of others. I was kinda hoping Cobie would see it and somehow come back, honestly.

So I still think about the story a lot and how it ends, and I've never left a story unfinished, even if I came back to it later. Maybe I drag my heels on it because it could effectively be my last LMBverse story, the way things are looking. But I fully intend to finish it. For myself.

And then there are my Roundtable threads I recently revived. There was a time when a thread about the run between Levitz runs would have attracted a lot of attention, but it's harder with the relatively smaller group of regulars we have now. I thought about doing a spin-off focusing on the Pete Ross trilogy in DC Comics Presents because it bugs the CRAP out of me, but I don't think many of the current regulars are even familiar with it. So I haven't done it.

So I must confess: I entirely relate.

I really wish we could increase the number of active posters, but between not having a regular Legion title, the fact that the only one we've had in the past decade or so not exactly going over very well, and competition from other social meda, I'm just not sure there's any way to do so.

We could send a scout into ... The Faraway Lands!

I've stacks of notes kicking around. I figure if EDE picks up on the Tel Vole/ Luthor connection, he'll eventually write them all for me.

Lardy: I get you, often when I write, I just need to get something out of my head.

EDE: I wish it too, but indeed, you've listed some good reasons for why activity has quieted down.

Then again... looking at some of the stuff that gets posted on LSH groups on FB, I'm kind of glad that some of those people aren't posting here.