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Re: Visiting other Legions
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,293
Legionnaire!
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Legionnaire!
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,293 |
lol Zoe is definitely in the lead over laid-back Brek LOL he needs to be careful not to be left behind in her wake...
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Re: Visiting other Legions
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Joined: Oct 2003
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His hook is his open, kind heart Zoe just loves that
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Re: Visiting other Legions
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Almost missed your last batch of comments, GL! I intentionally made Tomb creepy, he was kinda a one-word guy in his lone appearance... thought he would add some color to the team glad you're digging leader-Nightwind! I like her as leader too thank you for the catch re Vapor/Tellus! Have fixed it now re Beastmaster/Tellus, it was a way to have both characters work around their issues Tellus is great, but I've written him as so unsure (a holdover from his v3 early days) and him being so unsure just ... just did not feel right for him to be a full Legionnaire. so on Lallor he stays heh at Tyr indeed not the brightest bulb in the bunch. glad you picked up on Lusyo and the cargo discrepancy clues -------------------- Also glad you're digging the bits on Aleph! Zoe/Vi are an awesome pairing... and yeah, the cruiser bit I wrote in because indeed, a lot of the best scenes were on the cruisers... and there should be a place for them even with the Thresholds! Mabuhay is based on a lot of women I knew back in the Philippines. Glad she's gelling well here, I thought she'd play off nicely vs. the likes of Zoe and Ayla! and also super stoked you like the Aleph intro, and the little appearances from Yera and Plaid Lad the Institute should totally have a logo, but I'm not the right person to design one re Lori, I agree, she had potential if only used right (and without taking too much of the spotlight!) Interested to see what road you'd take your Azra down I had to look up V'Ger, interesting! Spot on with Chinese Zodiac and glad you liked the Talok VIII scene, I wanted to right Nura and Lonna and Tasmia in something more resembling combat And yes! work troubles re who should be in a meeting. I always figured, the Legion is a big organization that handles Serious Business, so there should be more insight into the admin/management headaches that go with that I would love to be a Legionnaire personally, but not be Legion leader! Brainy/Zoe have had their sniping moments before (see LSH 81, L* 58) so those should continue Now I most definitely need to have a follow-up where poor Condo has to deal with Gates on a recruitment mission Mentalla and Echo was an inspired pairing, they're both such perfectionists and I did have Andy start to develop a crush on Mentalla, but he never acted on it, and now... poor Andy and yeah, the nice thing about the triple date is that all 3 couples are quite good on their own... though they do have their probs from time to time
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Re: Visiting other Legions
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,293
Legionnaire!
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Legionnaire!
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,293 |
LOL - I love the idea of Spark annoying Zoe. I get that Sensor is still getting over her new form - I hope that she is able to come to terms with herself. These are fun interactions. Count me as a vote for a Brainy/Andromeda relationship! I'm also liking how you're exploring Tasmia's feelings here as well. Garth as Black Lightning! Hah! Hey, something's going on... How did Lori get to be with Mandalla? Did I miss something? ------------------------- Arachno is basically Spider Girl? LOL at the Mister Dog comment This combo of Tenzil, Polecat and Catspaw is very entertaining to read. I keep imagining the Marvel Vision when I'm reading this story Man, it's hard to imagine the whole of planet Colu not being able to sleep... But this is so cool to have the (basically) sub teams picking up the slack and looking for the Legionnaires. -------------------------- Am I the only one who thought Retro stepped in Cannus' poop? MORE THEENA PLEASE! I'm really glad that you have a version of that character in use here - she's really a cool concept. Hmmm. I'm just gonna say that I will never trust Winema Wazzo in any iteration of her character. Oh! Amber! Okay - I'm curious. Is this the first time you've used her? AND I'M CAUGHT UP!!! WHEW!!! Now I can turn my attention to Harbi's and Raz's!
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Re: Visiting other Legions
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,293
Legionnaire!
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Legionnaire!
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,293 |
Interested to see what road you'd take your Azra down I think it's more a road to take Zoe & Thanot down, as they'd be clones of Azra (in some SF, the concept is called a true-daughter or true-son, IIRC) But I don't know if its much to hang a story on; more just an interesting attribute. Brainy/Zoe have had their sniping moments before (see LSH 81, L* 58) so those should continue I have something up my sleeve in that department if I can get un-busy enough to get back to that story...
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Re: Visiting other Legions
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 84,969
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thanks again for the read & review GL re Sensor, it is a work in progress. but she's getting there she's already come a long way from lashing out in anger at least! Hey, something's going on... How did Lori get to be with Mandalla? Did I miss something? They were both at the fashion show when the vanishing happened Lori was about to leave, granted, but she is still there ------------------------- Arachno is basically Spider Girl? yup, basically Tangleweb - she's from Tangleweb's world glad you are liking the Reservists being called up! plenty for them all to do. Am I the only one who thought Retro stepped in Cannus' poop? LOL! I'll have to think about that, Cannus is still sentient after all MORE THEENA PLEASE! I'm really glad that you have a version of that character in use here - she's really a cool concept. thanks! She's cool indeed, I just need to get a handle on how powerful to make her Hmmm. I'm just gonna say that I will never trust Winema Wazzo in any iteration of her character. that's also what I wanted to get across. though she's more of an ally now than she used to be, she is still an ambitious politician after all... Oh! Amber! Okay - I'm curious. Is this the first time you've used her? yup, I left her out of all the villainy in volume 3 . though she did appear briefly in the VR scenario that was the first Cadet exam - the one that got Calorie Queen, Gravity, Echo, and Amp called up to the team
Last edited by Invisible Brainiac; 03/12/23 02:59 AM.
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Re: Visiting other Legions
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 84,969
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Interested to see what road you'd take your Azra down I think it's more a road to take Zoe & Thanot down, as they'd be clones of Azra (in some SF, the concept is called a true-daughter or true-son, IIRC) But I don't know if its much to hang a story on; more just an interesting attribute. Brainy/Zoe have had their sniping moments before (see LSH 81, L* 58) so those should continue I have something up my sleeve in that department if I can get un-busy enough to get back to that story... maybe you can work that Zoe/Thanot bit into your ongoing and you write snippy Zoe really well, so I'm eager to read that!
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Stepping Up
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Joined: Oct 2003
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Feel daunted by the length of this thread? You can also check out the Recap Thread to catch up! VOLUME 4: MOVING FORWARDZarroxWhite Witch, Mysa of Zarrox; sorcery. Currently the only Active Legionnaire whose whereabouts are known. Reserve Legionnaire (Not Legion Cadets or Support Staff)Thunder, Cece Beck of 90th century Binderaan; SHAZAM-empowered human with enhanced strength, speed, durability, stamina, wisdom and flight powers ************************************************************************** Zarrox is a world steeped in mysticism - not just because of the long history of sorcerers who've settled there, but because the planet itself is imbued with magical energy. It was depopulated during the rise and first imprisonment of Mordru, as the conqueror slew many of his potential rivals. Many others perished while rising up against him, leaving only the present-day Legionnaire White Witch and a few scattered magic-users alive.
Since then, the White Witch has made an effort to gather other magic-users on Zarrox. The recent rise in numbers has led to Zarrox organizing their own makeshift society, with a ruling council - but there is no true permanent society yet.
Considering the low number of magic-users in the galaxy overall, the long lifespans that they tend to have, and the overall lack of interest in precreation - it will likely take decades, if not centuries, before the topic of United Planets membership becomes relevant for Zarrox. - excerpt from a report on UP Membership ************************************************************************* Thunder watched as the White Witch stood wearily. They had spoken to each and every one of the sorcerers currently on Zarrox - nearly two dozen. None knew for certain what was going on, but a few had their suspicions. In the end, it had been decided that most of the sorcerers would offer their aid to the United Planets and to the Legion, while Mysa and a handful of others would remain and try to cast a handful of counterspells. Thunder had offered to go accompany the Sorcerers heading to Legion World, but the Wisdom of Solomon had kicked in just then. "Will drawing on the magical energy empowering me help?" she had asked Mysa. "Yes... we are dealing with something that is disrupting the normal, natural order of energies in a haphazard fashion. Whatever is doing this is likely drawing on the power of those magical objects stolen..." Mysa had smiled back. "Your own magical energies will hopefully boost us enough to pierce through them." And now, Mysa was checking her Omnicom. Thunder had asked about that; most of the other sorcerers here on Zarrox avoided anything more advanced than simple lighting or plumbing technology. But Mysa had smiled and pointed out that she lived on Legion World; and that using technology where it made sense, freed up her time and energy for other matters. "I wish we could reach Dragonmage," Mysa sighed. "But he told me he'd be "off the grid" during his vacation, as he was going to experiment with some new teaching methods..." "The rest of us will have to be enough," Thunder smiled. She handed a cup of steaming lavender tea to Mysa. "Now, I'll leave you to rest - I don't need to in this form, but..." "But I do," Mysa smiled gratefully as she sipped on her tea. "Indeed, we must begin as soon as we can." *************************************************************************** Merely three hours later, Thunder watched through the viewscreens as the sixteen sorcerers arrived on Legion World. Marla Latham and Gigi Cusimano had quickly taken charge of them; they would be deployed to various worlds as needed for emergencies, with some remaining on Legion World to help ensure transportation and communication would remain up-and-running. Thunder cut the feed, then turned to the much smaller circle being formed. The White Witch sat in the middle. Four other sorcerers linked hands around her, eyes closed in concentration. Harlak, a Khund who had fled Khundia as he hated their violent and warlike tendencies; Antonio Stefanacci, a museum curator whose powers had awakened during the last magical upheaval caused by the Elements of Disaster;* Traci Thirteen the XIIIth, a descendant of the legendary young sorceress from the 21st century; and Elphaba, who had survived Mordru's rise simply because she had been an untrained, though powerful, sorceress - one whom Mordru had hoped to bring to his cause. She had been left on some distant planet, and Mysa had only rediscovered her existence after poring through old texts Mordru had left behind. All four were potentially very powerful, but relatively new and untrained. Traci Thirteen the XIIIth was the only one who had any real experience casting spells before arriving on Zarrox. Along with Thunder, they were mainly here to feed magic into Mysa. The sad part was, none of the sorcerers who had gone to Legion World were particularly more experienced than those here; Mordru has been very thorough in eliminating any real or potential rivals, all those years ago. As the chanting began, Thunder could feel the magics flowing into Mysa. The first step was to cast a divining spell that would hopefully reveal exactly what was going on; a diagnosis, to enable the group to decide what the cure should be. Thunder began her lonely circuit around the group, even as she felt her own magics flowing into Mysa. But a spell of this sort required concentration, and everyone else would be vulnerable while it happened. So it was up to her to keep watch, and keep them safe. Keeping her mind clear and alert, Thunder slowly flew around the dome, hoping that she would enough to deal with any threats that would arise. ************************************************************************** IB's notes: 1) L* 71 - 74
Last edited by Invisible Brainiac; 03/12/23 06:07 AM.
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Re: Stepping Up
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Feel daunted by the length of this thread? You can also check out the Recap Thread to catch up! VOLUME 4: MOVING FORWARDLegion WorldBrawler, Brash Knightley of Moxie; super-strength and durability, can mind-mesh with machinery to control it (former Legion Cadet, now incarcerated on Legion World) ********************************************************************** "Let me out! My destiny is at hand!" Brawler shouted even as he strained both his muscles and his mind. Why couldn't he mind-mesh with anything around him? Why wasn't he strong enough to break through his bonds? He needed to get out of here. Clearly, these Legionnaires were impostors. He needed to find the real Legion, shut down these evil ones, and reclaim his rightful place at the head of the team. He... "Why would you even want to JOIN the Legion?!" The Wellurian hissed at him. She was in the cell across. Neither of them could use their powers, so the Legion had seen little harm in letting prisoners speak with one another. "You must be as evil and power-hungry as they are!" "The Legionnaires you met must have been fakes," Brawler spat. "The real Legion is here to bring prosperity and peace! Yes! We will lead the galaxy into a golden age..." "And that we will do." Brawler watched in awe as a portal appeared in front of him. A figure he knew well stepped out; a towering man with a pig's snout and face. Though he was stocky, he could hardly be described as fat; he moved with control and strength. "You! You came to me in my dreams!" Brawler approached the bars. He could see several other figures through the portal, as well as what seemed to be a rocky cave. "Who are you?" "I'm M'Onel, but you must not tell anyone," the man said. "For now, call me The Pig. We need to use code names, so those fakes won't know who we are." "I knew it! I knew it!" Brawler hissed. "These copies couldn't be the real Legion! If they were, they would have seen how capable I was, how I was trying to help them by weeding out idiots like Density and Lamprey and Sizzle, how I should have been chosen before all the others..." "Yes, yes, you should have been one of us long ago," The Pig soothed. "But come, join us, there are only a few of us who know the truth. Twelve of us... but we will be enough, to free the United Planets." "Liar!" The Wellurian hissed as she clanged against her prison cell. "The Legion is evil, evil! And I don't believe..." Twin beams of energy fired from The Pig's eyes, burning off the Wellurian's mouth and tongue. She tried to scream even as she clasped at her face, but the damage had been done. She fell to the floor, trying to make sounds. "I'm sorry I had to do that," The Pig said. To Brawler's eyes, he seemed remorseful. "But she's clearly been brainwashed, and she would have given us away... you know how it is here, our every move is being watched. "Of course..." Brawler rasped. "A little pain is needed, it was a necessary evil. I mean, when we fight the impostor Legion, we'll have to kill them, anyway, right?" "Indeed..." The Pig nodded. "It's part of the Legion code. We only kill when we absolutely have to." Brawler nodded; he had studied the Code so much. It made so much sense. The Pig motioned to the portal. Brawler barely registered his prison cell opening. He felt like in a dream again, as he stepped through the portal. A yellow-skinned, blue-haired girl came up to him. She took his hands. "I'm so glad you could join us! It's me, Apparition! We were transformed into these forms so we could be replaced... but now we get to fight back!" Brawler was amazed as the other eight rushed at him. Each was a long-time Legionnaire, but had adopted a code name in disguise. The Pig stepped through after Brawler. "I did what I could for that poor captive, but I had to be fast," he said somberly. "She is at ease now, and she won't cause us any more trouble. Now, Brawler, let me fill you in..." Slizz's breath caught as she watched how calmly the Pig and the Rat, Kono, were playing their parts. Even Lusyo, the Horse, made a convincing Brainiac 5 as he pretended to brief Brawler on this turn of events. For her part, Slizz was creating realistic illusions of the atrocities this supposed fake Legion had done. And she had also hidden the Pig's presence on Legion World, and masked Brawler's disappearance. She watched as the Dog finally came through the portal, carrying the broken body of the female Wellurian. She had been recruited to be their Tiger, but she had disobeyed the rules and revealed them on Aleph... after The Pig and Brawler has leapt through the portal, the Tiger and the Rabbit had further punished this Wellurian. Slizz forced herself to look in fascination at the Wellurian's body. She was barely alive, her mouth burned off, every bone in her body broken. She must be in agony, and she would remain in agony until she died. The Dog unceremoniously tossed her into a corner. Their new Tiger, a Wellurian just like this one, crept over. "You poor fool," the new Tiger shook her head. "You believed the wrong lies, even after we were freed. Our new government found so much evidence that the fake Legion that terrorized us*; but you and your kind refused to see the truth. Blind idiots like you hold Wellur back from true progress." The Tiger kicked at her predecessor, who wordlessly flailed weakly. Slizz watched impassively as the life faded from the first Wellurian. She knew that her painful death was a warning to the rest. But unlike some of the others, Slizz knew her place; there was no way she could match The Pig. And besides, she wanted their plan to succeed, so she could get her prize. Then she could be done with this group, and enjoy her new glory reigning Orando while that accursed Wynzorr family groveled in chains. She focused again on the Wellurian; watching this would be useful, if she ever had to create such illusions... and knowing the next phase of their plan, she probably would. As the portal faded out, Slizz released her illusions on Legion World, concentrating on feeding Brawler's mind with images and sensations that would convince him of the "truth" they were feeding him. She marveled at how easy it had been to fool him through months of dreams of glory.... "Pig, the White Witch and Thunder have begun something on Zarrox," the Rooster quietly said, so as not to distract Brawler. "Ah yes... we will take care of them soon," The Pig smiled. "Now, rest, Brawler," The Pig laid a shoulder on Brawler, whose eyes were still wide open, but glazed and unseeing. "We will soon get the chance to fight for our freedom. Very soon, in fact," The Pig's eyes twinkled as he rubbed his hands. "For you are the last one we need... my Monkey." "I'm ready to follow, for freedom and glory," Brawler tapped his chest. "Good, good," The Pig smiled. "Then the next part of our plan can proceed. Gather around, my Zodiac. The twelve signs are finally complete." ********************************************************************* IB's notes: 1) See Legionnaires 75; ex-King Kradok of Wellur created a fake Legion, actually the three founders, using machines that simulated electricity and magnetism, while Saturn Girl's telepathy was faked. The three real founders stop King Kradok, though initially the Wellurians refused to believe the truth, they were so angry.
Last edited by Invisible Brainiac; 03/30/23 10:18 AM.
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Re: Tryouts!
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 3,767
Legionnaire!
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Legionnaire!
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 3,767 |
Hi IB, I didn't realise I had so much to catch up on! Loving your Heroes of Lallor and Legion working together! Some more specific thoughts: - always a fan of the Legion corralling weird space animals, and it's fun to see the different ways that team members handle the task! I also feel sorry for Nightwind; as fun as Gates is as a character, he would be a nightmare to have to deal with as a team leader - I really like Tellus and Beastmaster helping one another! It feels like a good way to give them both some constructive story spotlight! And using that to have Tellus join the Heroes of Lallor is a good evolution too, Tellus gives them some more power and gets to be the only telepath on the team this way! - I kinda love Stone Boy being used to knock Tyr out....I know I made him able to move around in stone form in my series, but it was always fun trying to find ways to make him useful back in the day too - some neat foreshadowing with Splitter noticing the ore count is off and the immediate cut to Lusyo being a sneaky SOB, I like it That is all I had time for tonight, but I am looking forward to getting through some more later this week!
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Re: Tryouts!
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Joined: Oct 2003
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Thanks for the read and review Raz yeah I was so excited to get my ideas on “paper” that I powered through recently lol Tellus’ power set was definitely a big consideration in having him go to Lallor - along with his uncertainty. Look for more Cadets graduating into the Lallor Heroes and into the Amazers in the future, as I look to round out the powers on the team and find a place for Cadets who aren’t quite Legion material (yet), but are too competent to just remain Cadets And while I love Gates too, I don’t think I’d be able to stand him in real life either! Glad you loved the other little bits too nice picking up on the Lusyo and cargo clues! And I always enjoy a great scene with Stone Boy clobbering someone
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Re: Tryouts!
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Joined: Oct 2003
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thanks everyone for the read and review - I will probably pause publishing for now, as I've set things up for the next big shebang. And it will be a doozy... and rather ambitious. I've also challenged myself... as a hint, there are 48 missing Legionnaires and 12 zodiac signs, and I've used a random number generator to figure out who goes where
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Re: (Post ZH Legion) All-Out War!
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 3,767
Legionnaire!
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Legionnaire!
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 3,767 |
Kicking off with the fashionistas on Aleph, let's goooooo!! - XS and Vi's comments about piloting the cruisers vs using the Thresholds was good to read - Thresholds really would be a quantum change in the way people think about transport! - Mabuhay is fun! You can tell she and Zoe go way back, and I like that Vi is mature enough to not feel threatened by it. And Plaid Lad! Yay!!...also I just noticed his home planet - I actually totally forgot that you introduced this institute already, thanks for the reminder! It is nice to see Candi and her dad hopefully having a better relationship nowadays - Professor Vera Coco Vuitton Armani XVIII..fashion royalty! - aww poor Andy, he's such a woobie...I am glad that you're getting into his head about being stuck in metal form full time though, I really feel like DnA glossed over that altogether when they brought him back. "My stars, I should really lay off the designer drugs!" This trip to Aleph is really bringing out some comedy gold! - Lori talking to the trapped kid was cute - I nearly forgot to mention too, it's nice to see your Yera again and see her helping even though she's not with the Legion anymore! - I like the way you get around Candi just insta-stopping any threat by plonking them in an inertron block...it makes sense that if someone's thrashing about too much it would be dangerous to transmute elements around them, especially with Candi not being anywhere near as experienced as Jan. - this new villain group is cool! They are big enough to have a decent confrontation with the Legion when the time comes too! And I forget how scary Tasmia's Shadow Cave is in the reboot, I liked the diplomacy when they arrived as well. - I dig that being beaten by Chuck at pool is an unofficial rite of passage now - all the little personal moments following up the team meeting are appreciated to look in on everyone - I had to laugh at Garth, Jo and Jed thinking they could get away with having a private convo around Imra and Tinya - M'Onel and Tasmia thinking about one another was interesting....if I am being completely honest, I think your M'On and Shvaughn have a healthier relationship than classic Mon and Shady for the reasons that he mentioned - Shvaughn just lets him be a normal guy, with Shady it's always the planetary champion and her legendary consort. And Umbra is even more about that life so I don't imagine it would be any different if those two were to hook up either. I liked seeing the more quiet Legionnaires watching the nebula on their own as a balance against all of the more boisterous heroes. - I love the 21C hero roleplaying game! I wonder if Garth playing Black Lightning was a nod to the Bendisboot hahaha...and Tinya in the classic Phantom Girl costume too! I just got up to where Mysa is the only Legionnaire left! I love a good spotlight story, will be fun to see where this goes! As big as your team is, you're really good at giving everyone enough of a spotlight that it doesn't feel like anyone's forgotten over time!
Last edited by razsolo; 03/12/23 05:27 PM.
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Re: (Post ZH Legion) All-Out War!
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Joined: Oct 2003
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OP
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wow raz, you read fast!! thanks for the read and review I originally wrote this Fashion Institute thing as a one-off, a way for the universe to remember Zoe and Candi outside them being Legionnaires (and to highlight their altruistic personalities). but it's become a surprising source of comedy gold and stories super glad you picked up on all those little things: Plaid Lad's planet, Prof. Vera Coco whatever, hee hee! yeah, I was lying awake one night and thinking, a lot of my fave scenes from the Reboot happened in Legion cruisers, and your fic and Omni's and GL's all use cruisers a lot too, and even Harbi had a few. And when was the last time I had MY team in a cruiser?? Mabuhay is a breakout star, I'm so pleased. she was mentioned back in passing way way back, and I thought I'd better do something good with her thanks re Candi, it's not easy to tone down some of the most powerful Legionnaires, but the Legion code (and lack of experience) help glad you liked all these little character bits, the M'On/Umbra/Shvaughn thing just kinda slipped in there - cause I remembered M'On/Umbra also skipping that beach trip (L* 77) cause they hated crowds. That inspired the stargazing bit, and I thought of revisiting the implied M'On/Umbra attraction late pre-DNA and glad you liked all the characters popping in and out, like Yera and Plaid Lad and Lori hahaha and sadly I cannot take credit re Garth being Black Lightning as a nod to Bendisboot... I just picked the first electrical hero I could think of good catch from you and GL there! and thanks for the kind words re giving everyone a spotlight it ain't easy, and it means more work, but I love 'em all so they all get their time
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Re: (Post ZH Legion) All-Out War!
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 84,969
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OP
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PS, forgot to mention: the 21C role playing game did actually appear in LSH 119
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Re: Tryouts!
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 2,107
Leader
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Leader
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 2,107 |
IB's notes:
1) See Legionnaires 75; ex-King Kradok of Wellur created a fake Legion, actually the three founders, using machines that simulated electricity and magnetism, while Saturn Girl's telepathy was faked. The three real founders stop King Kradok, though initially the Wellurians refused to believe the truth, they were so angry. Your story is better.
Next time we have a DC/Marvel crossover, I want it to take place in the Hostessverse
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Re: Tryouts!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,866
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,866 |
Hey IB, I'm about a thousands posts behind here so will try to review as many as posible before my time runs out. These are my thoughts as I'm reading so the usual caveats apply Is the red-sun bracelet in canon? I don't really know the reboot too well and know the white Triangle storyline only through what you and others have posted here, but it seems pretty harsh but appropriate if Daxamites are seen as a serious threat. Titanians have to wear the Saturn symbol afterall. Haha which you go on to discuss immediately... I really should read more than the first line before writing. So, anyway, there's a group of semi-powered Daxamites in the UP who don't share the White Triangles ethos - that's good to know. But one has vanished - not good news! That's a worry given how much other troubling events are going on, and if Andromeda and Mon-El are off investigating that then the team loses two of its most physically powerful members. I like that Brawler's condition hasn't been forgotten about andReep is on the case (after his diversion/mission) so we know it'll get figured out. That's a nice away team, well considered - and Shikari quoting Drake, oh someone tell her that he's not the best example of humanity she could chose, please! Lamprey and Brek experimenting is good to read, nicethat your team are keen to develop, not just sit on their laurels once they get membership. I'm jealous of Brin's metabolism too Thunder just kidnapped a team of Legionnaires! Okay, so that was out of left-field. Great I like these unexpected adventures. Wonder what#s wrong in the 90th Century? Ah, next post and we find out, haha. Magnificus Sivana XXXVIII sounds like a Clark Kent character.But his surname should have told me he's not a good guy, oh well. Koko? No, jut no. though "I think Brainiac 5 was Koko's pet, to be honest." was funny. Nice momemt between Andromeda and Sizzle, and then between the team. Sizzle realising that they aren't always aloof was sweet too. Chameleon Boy disguised as a drunk, clever. And the Bismollian digestive system is a smart move. Mercury flavour? Yech! Nice use of Lume, and giving the poor guard a serious laxative - cruel, but also funny I wonder what they'll find on the security footage? And I'm caught up to where I last posted. I'm going to call it a day there as I need to do some work - blinking inconvenient, I know. This was fun IB, plenty of action, really solid characterisations and good job pushing the stories along. Good Job! I'll be back tomorrow for more, more, more!
Legion Worlds NINE - wait, there's even more ongoing amazing adventures? Yup, and you'll only find them in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
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Re: Tryouts!
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IB's notes:
1) See Legionnaires 75; ex-King Kradok of Wellur created a fake Legion, actually the three founders, using machines that simulated electricity and magnetism, while Saturn Girl's telepathy was faked. The three real founders stop King Kradok, though initially the Wellurians refused to believe the truth, they were so angry. Your story is better. aw thank you, Klar! so nice of you to say! Appreciate your encouragement and comment
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Re: Tryouts!
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hi Harbi, what a treat to read your comments, thanks again for your time I think I will slow down for a bit, I'm already drafting the next parts but I want to take a bit of time to flesh them out the red sun bracelet is not in canon, and I always did wonder why. I do think that the Reboot canon relied on a) hunting down most of the White Triangle Daxamites (which: how?!? did they manage that? We see the Science Police hunting down some White Triangle ones in LSH 72 and saying that the rest were dead, but how would they have gotten red of the powered ones??! - I answer that in my Volume 1 btw , and b) many non-White Triangle Daxamites just being insular and afraid of going offworld. And I thought... nah, surely there would still be some Daxamites who want to go off-planet, so there must be protocols for that, for their safety and the safety of others. and so, the idea was born You make a good point that having both M'Onel and Andromeda off makes the team lost two of their most powerful almost like the timing was planned... almost Brawler's condition hits close to home for most of the Legionnaires, so they won't stop until they get to the bottom of it. He was one of their Cadets, after all glad you liked the little bits re Cham pretending to be a drunk, Brin's fast metabolism, the laxative, Brainy being Koko's pet, Magnificus Sivana XXXVIII (I should probably use him again at some point!), etc. etc. and indeed, someone should give Shikari some nice advice on not just parroting everything Wildfire says and don't worry, Koko is staying on that jungle world! Him being written out is one thing I very much agreed with DNA on he can just remain safe and happy and carefree there with all the native monkeys thanks again for your kind words, really appreciate it
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Re: Tryouts!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,866
Wanderer
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Wanderer
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Posts: 5,866 |
Back for seconds And straight back into the mystery of the missing Daxamite.Age is so difficult - tell me about it! When I was first training to teach I mentioned to a childs mother that I was happy to see his grandmother come to a parents event... ouch! I never made that mistake again, and still feel guilty about it now. I really enjoy how your team are working together and understand each other's strengths and weaknesses, it makes a change from the usual gung-ho approach that superheroes usually take. And, yup it is going to be lead holdng Teela, isn't it? I mean, if you're holding a Daxamite it's got to be! Venusian Googlipede - great name! Lume looking like a firefly - clever. Reep to the rescue - I think in close quarters, other than Val, he's the Legionnaire that could do most damage. Plevitzian Flying Rabbit, indeed, am sure Paul would love a flying rabbit named after him The son has had some Daxamite gene-mod thing then? He made pretty short work of Reep. Well, this isn't going as planned, is it? With Sizle down, M'Onel won't last long. And there goes Shikari as well. Ah, the Son is an android, okay. It's a wonder that ever two-bit dictator doesn't have an army of them at their command really - the perfect stormtroopers. Oh wow, Brin's dad was he kidnapping mad scientist - that's going to cause some issues. What a great twist! Looking forward to where you take that IB. And we're back to the 90th century, I've been looking forward to seeing what you do with the Seven Deadly Sins.Gear being overwhelmed is interesting, I'd have never have thought of that. The team rushing in to support him was great as well, your team are nice folk! Jed and Wildfire being keen to tackle the bad guys was in character, as both can be a little over confident. Drake corralling the golems is smart. Ah, maybe not, Thunder getting swallowed up like that does not bode too well... great cliffhanger Garth being sensible and urging caution? He's grown up! I'd have expected him to rush in there. And, doesn't the shazam powerset include immunity to mental control? Am I just imagining that that's canon? I really don't know too much about them really so I could well ave just imagined that So, Thunder, Wildfire, Density, Gravity, Umbra, Callorie queen and Blizzard are possessed, that's a tough team! As Cece and Drake are the real heavy hitters out of the whole team in the 90th century, this is going to be a difficult fight. Pride - Umbra, perfect match! Garth and Tayla together are a great team. "AYYEEII!" a real Levitz scream Drura taking out Brek was well done, nice that you give her the limit of needing to be close to infect people or she would be pretty much unstoppable. Tel and Jed are horndogs even when possessed, haha. Nice that Gear caught them too after knocking them out. I wonder what Mentalla's plan was? We're going to find out though, aren't we? Nice little twistthat the team expected to get possessed and were ready for it. Nice teamwork to remove the Sins and keep them in their statues. And, Drura using a sleeping sickness to keep the possessed teammates out of trouble was clever... Andromeda Strain? Michael Crighton would be hapy to see that it's still going in the 30th/90th century, his royalties must be mounting up Brainy wanting to rush back surprised me, I thought he would want a sneaky peak, but given his habit of building dangerous toys it's probably for the best. Cece's love of being on a team was sweet. Your Tinya is really kind, offering to help Mysa when she's probably pretty exhausted herself. Calorie Queen and Timber Wolf? Yeah, that would work I think, certainly be interesting. Of course, that depends on how he acts out around his father... Taryn really is crushing hard, isn't she? I think you missed a word - the scene where Brin goes to talk to his dad - "if could kill..." you ,missed "looks" I think. Well, that was an intense scene and you captured Brin's anger beautifully. He's one Legionnaire you know will hold a grudge! Right, I need to crack on with work - most inconsiderate of ot it! Though will try to catch up on more this afternoon. Looking forward to seeing where you take Brin and his father, and the missing magical items story IB, it's been on the backburner for a while and you are heavily hinting that Mordru is involved but I reckon that's a red herring. Can't wait to get stuck into more, more, more!
Legion Worlds NINE - wait, there's even more ongoing amazing adventures? Yup, and you'll only find them in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
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Re: Tryouts!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,866
Wanderer
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Wanderer
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So, back for 45 minutes, let's see how far I can get on with this I'd forgotten about the Mysa/Zoe history, so it's nice to see you touch upon it, and good for Zoe standing up for herself. Though are they being manipulated? seems to hae come out from nowhere, or is the stress getting to them? Tinya handled it well. Jo backing off and stopping Brek talking was funny. So, Brek and Zoe are a couple? I'm so usedto version where she's with M'Windaji that I had a momentary gasp there And onto Lallor, will be good to check in with the team there as there's several cadets aren't there? Gates is such a cumudgeon, isn't he Was that Karate Kid making a move on Spider Girl? Cute! I've no idea who Tomb is, so looking forward to finding out more, and loving your Babbage, the Legion needs at least one artifical being on the team. They are an interesting pairing ad I'd like to see more of them. Spider Girl's thoughts on Splitter show her true nature - she's not one to miss something going on around her, is she. Beastmaster isn't a happy soul, is he? KK dealing with it calmly was well done, I do think he'd be the eternal peacemaker. Gates telling off Tellus for not being so confident was great, and Berta stepping in was good leadership. Do you mean "sapient beings" rather than "Senient" - my pet peeve from Star Trek is they continually get this wrong. I wonder what's causing the animals to go wild(er)? I really like how you always bring up the pods on Tellus' back flashing colours, it's such a simple but really effective way to show his mood and remind us just how alien he is. Nice threeway split of your team, fab, it's always fun to see the different stories from each give us clues so it all come together. Bless poor Staq having to stay behind. Oh well, perhaps someone with a flaming head isn't the best to have in a team investigating scared animals though. Final Night? I'll check out your editors note at the end. Of course Sussa would be thinking about the sneaky approach, what are they being distracted from? I wonder if it's on Lallor, whatever it is that is wanting the team distracted, or whether this fits in with the Pig and the stolen magical items. nd I've run out of time again, though I'm inching my way nearer to being caught up. My next post is the 13 Feb so at least I'm only a month or so behind now Hopefully I'll have a bit of time tomorrow IB, as I'm looking forward to more, more, more!
Legion Worlds NINE - wait, there's even more ongoing amazing adventures? Yup, and you'll only find them in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
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Re: Tryouts!
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hi Harbi, thanks again for the read and review and your nice comments! It's interesting to see your take as things develop! Lead holding Teena was really something I thought about, but decided to go a different way for two reasons: 1) I wanted M'Onel and Andromeda powerless, and they both had lead serums already; and 2) I considered having Brainy swoop in and cure Teena's lead poisoning, but decided against it, so red sunlight it was you make a good point about two-bit dictators having androids. hmm, something to think about re Shazam powers giving immunity to mind control, gosh I really don't know! Maybe I need to research more too glad you liked the Seven Deadly Sins fights I had lots of fun with that little bit! oops, thanks for catching the missing word in the Brin scene, have gone back and fixed. I really need to proofread more thanks a ton Harbi, is Mordru a red herring? we will see... but indeed, it's about time for the magical items bit to come to full flame thanks again for your kind words and time, Harbi!
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Re: Tryouts!
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ooh and there's more! what a treat for me! re Zoe and Mysa suddenly flaring up, it's really mainly Mysa being stressed and worried that the magical item mystery has not been solved. And Zoe is just the type to fight back if someone pushes her, as is Tinya so no manipulation - not in this scene. but that was a good question, and it could easily have been! haha! Karate Kid could very well have been mildly flirting with Sussa, she is a bit of a knockout let's see... I did mean sentient, at least as I use it (and as I understood the Reboot canon), sentient = beings fully capable of thought like today's human beings. so animals would be non-sentient. thanks for commenting on Tellus' pods, I actually took this page from you and raz as you both have developed Tellus much better and more than I have! glad you are digging it Harbi I'll be slowing down for a bit while working on my next bits, so no rush to catch up - at least for a couple of weeks
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Re: Tryouts!
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By the way gang, we’re almost at the end of volume 4 (gasp! Spoiler???) so if you read this… I will be opening leadership elections to readers please start thinking about whom you want to vote for - all Active Legionnaires are eligible. I will post again when I formally open voting. But as there’s a lot of reading and reviewing now, I thought I’d pre announce so you all can read the next bits with an eye open for leadership
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Re: Tryouts!
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Joined: Sep 2003
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Wanderer
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Back for more - I will catch up eventually! Vapor and Beastmasters little talk was sweet - her being concerned that he isn't being affected by the same thing that's turning the wild animals crazy, was well done. Nice moment between two people that have known each other for a long time. And Tellus has a clue - glad to see you are usng him as he's a difficult character to write effectively, his timid nature doesn't really work (I think) for such a buljy and visually striking character, so he can be difficult to include. KK biting his tongue, yup, understandable, he would be the character that would disapprove the most of some of his colleagues priviedge and blinkered views. So, Hotshot will get to go on a mission afterall, be careful what you wish for... and Sussa and splitter being the detectives, while Babbage is their data processor works really well, nice to show that Babbage may be smart and super efficient, but joining the dots takes a different skillset. Poor Shiv Lassi So, Spider Girl and Splitter joined Babbage and Hotshot to Nightwinds group? I thought they were staying behind? Nightwind supporting Tellus was great, and keeping Gates in line was funny. Nice mix and use of exotic/sci-fi animals by the way. Beastmaster getting swept up in the rage that affects the other animals could have ending horrifically, so nice use of Tellus to calm him down - they seems to have bonded. An unusual pair but you've written their connection well. Tyr and Sklarian raiders? Nice! Unexpected but totally can see them working together. Stone Boy taking out Tyr was a classic move!KK againts half a dozen Tyrrazzians and 4 Sklarians? They don't stand a chance "He's in his happy place" - absolutely! Asimov circuits, great! The three laws survive to the 30th century then, slightly tweaked but still great to see. And a Dominator scientist? Okay, this potentially gets bigger. Beastmaster and Tellus make a good team together - you have taken two really different characters and found an interesting way to make them work together, well done. I'm kind of glad that your Tellus is staying on Lallor, though as I like how you write him it's a shame that he;s leaving the main team. Still, within the story it made perfect sense and at least now Gates will stop nagging him And there's the twist - the meek and feeble Luyso is actually in the pay of the Pig, fantastic. I'm really enjoying how you are slowly building up that storyline. Yay, Element Lass! I do like her XS enjoying piloting is a nice nod to pre-Threshold era.And good to hear that the Academy still train the students in piloting. You like having them stick their tongues out, don't you "What, no giant statues of you two?" haha, nice dig from Ayla. " I hate fashion, I'm only here for the food," ha, that would be me too Plaid Lad, oh dear, though nice that he's found a home and hopefully he's away from his pushy mother (hoping I'm remembering that scene correctly). Yera! Fab, there's a character that needs a decent writer to bring out their potential. Love how the team gush over her and compliment her acting. Nice scene between Candi and her dad. That's all the time I have this morning IB, but I'll be back soon for more, more, more!
Legion Worlds NINE - wait, there's even more ongoing amazing adventures? Yup, and you'll only find them in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
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