Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION Spaceopoly Nasty Genie

Granted, and we manage to get you arrested in record time. Who knew that it was against the law to take penquins from the zoo and have them jump out of a cake?


I wish I could win the Mega Millions drawing tonight.

Granted, tonight you will win the Mega Millions drawing. Tomorrow it will be discovered that it was all a mistake and the actual winner was an oil company executive from Exxon-Mobil. Don't despair though, you get fifty bucks and a canned ham for your trouble.

I wish my head was carved on Mount Rushmore.

Granted, you now look like Theodore Roosevelt.


I wish I had a rich "Sugar Daddy".

Granted, you are now Mrs. Quisley-Trump, Esq.

I wish I had a 'Butterfinger'.

You have a butter finger and a margarine head.

I wish I could attend both days of the Baltimore Comicon this year.

Granted. You'll have plenty of free time to attend any comic convention you want, for as many days as you want, after over 125 gigabytes of porn is found clogging your computer at work. Strangely enough, all of it is from Nasty G's Super HOT Triple-X Rated !!!Spank-That-Monkey!!! Nastiest Peep-Show-Ever Site.

I wish I had a magical money tree.

Granted:

(great)You have a magical money tree.

(good)It produces high quality, almost undetectably counterfeit $20 bills.

(bad) Unfortunately the Secret Service detects the fraud and you wind up in a federal prison.

(good/bad depends on perspective)You achieve cult status with your streaming prison videos that appear non-stop on Nasty G's Super HOT Triple-X Rated !!!Spank-That-Monkey!!! Nastiest Peep-Show-Ever Site.

I wish George W. Bush had been more successful as a baseball team owner.

Granted. W stuck with baseball because of his success. Dick Cheney then picked Neil Bush to be his running mate.

I wish I had a magical monkey tree. (That's how I first read Ram Boy's wish)

(great)You have a magical monkey tree.

(good)It produces high quality monkeys.

(bad) Unfortunately the USDA has found you to be in violation of several statutes involving the care and keeping of monkeys, and you wind up in a federal prison.

(good/bad depends on perspective)You achieve cult status with your streaming prison videos that appear non-stop on Nasty G's Super HOT Triple-X Rated !!!Spank-That-Magic-Monkey!!! Nastiest Peep-Show-Ever Site.

I wish I had a well-preserved copy of Adventure #247.

Granted, you have a mint condition copy of Adventure #247 printed just this year. It is also encased in a solid block of lucite. Enjoy.

I wish I had artistic talent similar to Sketch Lad.

You can produce beautiful and whimsical work similar to Sketch Lad's except the only medium you can work with is magical monkey feces. Your gallery showings are rather pooly attended.

I wish DC Comics would request and use and generously compensate me for my opinions about the creative and marketing direction of their comics.

Granted, you are compensated with back issues of Plop! and Bob Hope comics. They are very generous with the number of issues they give you.

I wish I could witness historical events while being completely safe.

Granted! You will enjoy watching Ken Burns' new documentary film The War in the safety of your own home.

I wish I were built like one of the models in the International Male catalogue.

Granted, although being two dimensions must make it hard to interact with people and things.

I wish I looked like one of the models in the International Male Catalogue.

Granted: what a month for McFarland to begin advertising his new "Clown" action figure.

I wish more college football games were on regular network instead of cable.

Granted. They appear on a special new network that broadcasts on a system that does not allow the broadcast to be recorded. The games are shown at 3am on weeknights. Oh and especially close games get pre-empted at the 2 minute warning for "Heidi".

I wish I could create a really good puzzle.

Granted! You've created a puzzle whose moral rectitude is beyond refutation.

I wish the Howard Johnson's restaurant chain would make a successful comeback.

Howard Johnson's has successfully repositioned itself in the fast food world. The chain caters to chain smoking consumers of lard and gristle.

I wish I hadn't left my cell phone at home this morning.

Granted. You took your cell phone with you and lost it when you went to the comic book store. Some punk finds it and makes hundreds of long distance calls before you realize it is missing.

I wish I had a new high def flatscreen television set.

Your 120" Sony plasma screen TV has been installed in your living room. You no longer have access to the bathroom door. You can only watch the Discovery channel and they're broadcasting nothing but reruns of the Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau.

I wish Dennis Calero's solicited cover for LSH 34 had been used instead of the Kolins cover.

Granted!

Dennis' cover was used on a limited run of 100 copies, all available exclusively at a comic book store in Boise, Idaho, at $75.00 a pop.

I wish Peter Petrelli, the Heroes character, were my boyfriend.

Granted. Did you see the preview for tonight's show? He's not looking very pretty right now. And Mama Petrelli is constantly scheming to eliminate you. Having an openly gay son would not be good for the family image.

I wish my favorite meal will be waiting for me, nice and hot, when I get home tonight.

It's on the table ... smells delicious. Beware of the three-headed dog tied to the table leg; he's a little possessive.

I wish reading comic books of my own choosing and posting on LegionWorld were actually part of my current job, not just something I do when I'm not getting my work done.

You've been promoted .. to babysit your supervisor's 4 pre-teen children. Part of your job is to read them comics and make certain that their posting activity on LegionWorld fits their parent's Christian agenda. Unfortunately most of your posts on LW are asking others to "tone it down." People really begin to resent your sanctimonious tone, and the powers that be have no choice but to ban you.

The power of prayer and the fact that Gary and I now attend the same Church of the Holier than Thou has resulted in my resurrection on Legion World.

I wish Semi would repent from his evil ways and add a wish for the Nasty Genie to grant.

Amen.