Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Bits o' Legionnaire Business "Omnia mutantur nos et mutamur in illis" - 52 days after INVASION

Evil Genius Club

Tamper Lad shows another cloaked man into Wyandotte's private room.

"It's about time, Ord," says Wyandotte. "Did Tamper Lad recognize you?"

"Nah. I doubt anyone would recognize this badly burned puss!" And as he pulls off the hood, Ord displays what he's speaking of. His face and every visible part of bare skinned is covered with scar tissue as if someone had taken a torch to him.

Wyandotte flinches slightly at the sight of him despite himself. "Yes," he says, "it is quite a shame too see such formerly handsome features destroyed."

Ord says distantly, "I wonder what the LMB would think if they knew I lived?"

"Oh, I suspect you'll get to see that reaction eventually. Did your mission regarding Earth-4 go well?"

"Completely as planned. The other elements involved in that did their bits as well, rather smoothly. But why meet here, Wyandotte? Doesn't it concern you to have Tamper Lad see you here?"

"Actually, he doesn't realize what he's truly seeing. But this will sow the seeds for building a business relationship with him after Phase Three of our plan starts."

"Yes," Ord muses, "I suppose that will help. Where's the third member of our little conspiracy?"

"Oh, he's little more than a pawn, isn't he? He doesn't need to know everything."

"No," Ord smiles, "he doesn't."

And their conversation continues into the night's wee hours....

Old Town. A Back Alley.

A contingent led by Lil' Matlock, Frio and Polar Boy arrive at the site of a murder they've been tipped off to. Many uniformed Junior Officers get to work securing the crime scene as the three examine the body.

Frio gasps and says, "it is him. Oh my god...Cobalt will--"

"Easy, Frio," Lil' Matlock says assuringly, "appearances can be deceiving, you know."

"Well, that 'Bat-Fem' seemed pretty convinced when she called in the tip. In fact she was pretty darn emotional over it," Polar Boy responds.

"Maybe she did it?" Lil' Matlock muses. "Have some of the J.O.'s find out where 'Lardy' was before he got here." And Polar Boy departs to carry out his superior's orders. "Frio, weren't Lardy and Whordru supposed to be vacationing offworld until next week?"

"Yes," she says reviewing her Omnicom. "And there's no record of them returning early. Of course with their powers..."

"...they could've returned unnoticed? Yes, perhaps there was a lover's spat? We'll definitely have to find Whordru for questioning, assuming this is Lardy. Meanwhile Frio, go ahead and release this information to the press as soon as we've finished with the crime scene. That could help us with tips. However--"

"Yes?" Frio asks awaiting Lil' Matlock's next thought.

"Do not inform Cobie yet. Make sure the others and Spellbinder don't either. I don't want to bring this down on Cobie until we know this man's identity for sure..."

"Yes, sir," she responds and starts to compose a draft of the press release.

"One more thing, Frio?" Lil' Matlock interrupts. "Could you get me my sippy cup, please?"

Old Town. Wyandotte's Secret HQ.

Well, that was productive, Wyandotte thinks as he secures the entrance, and turns on his display board, let's see what's going on...

"What?!" he screams aloud as he sees monitor after monitor lit up with news of Lard Lad's death. "No, no, NO! He can't be--not yet!"

Angrily, he flips a remote button to Hummer Lass's apartment. He sees she is asleep, but something catches his eye. The waste basket. The bloody clothing stuffed into it.

"NO! THAT FOOL! She killed him TOO SOON!"

In a fury he throws his cloak on and prepares to leave.

"She'll rue this day!" he yells and storms out of his secret base.

Old Town. Hummer Lass's Apartment.

"You've ruined everything, bitch!" Wyandotte screams as he shakes Hummer Lass by her shoulders.

"I'm-I'm sorry, darling...when I saw him there, I flew into a rage and--"

"You want to see a 'rage'? How's THIS?" And Wyandotte hits her full-on in the face with his clutched fist, sending her reeling against her bed. "I'm going to make you pay dearly for this!" He pulls out a laser blade.

"N-no, p-please don't...I-I love you..." she cries as she backs away weakly.

"It's okay, Wyandotte. That won't be necessary," says a voice from behind the assailant.

Wyandotte turns around and sees the familiar, hideously-scarred man he'd been talking to earlier. "Ord? Don't you know what she's done?"

"Yes, but it's not what you think," Ord says calmly. "All is, most certainly, not lost."

"Oh? How is that?"

And Wyandotte finds himself smiling again within a few moments.....

Levitz Hall, LMBP Plaza

< Maxx moved along the corridor, his outstretched hands manipulating the spell he was using to move the crate ahead of him. >

[Maxx the Sorcerer]: You know, hon, just because you're a Prince and all doesn't mean you have to own the world.

< Crusader moved along behind his husband, his telekinesis carrying twelve suitcases, which floated in the air around him. >

[The Crusader]: Ha ha. I'm not the one who requested two suites for us, even though we're sharing living space.

< Maxx looked back over his shoulder, one eyebrow raised >

[Maxx the Sorcerer]: I just want to make sure that you don't turn my workroom into extra closet space, sweetie.

< The couple entered their new living suite. The floor was covered in unpacked boxes and furniture that needed to be arranged. Setting their burdens down, the two leaned against each other and smiled. They had lived together when they were reservists living at the LMBP Outpost, but this would be their first permanent home since getting married >

[Maxx the Sorcerer]: Welcome home, husband.

< The two shared a quick embrace before turning to start their unpacking >

The Border between the Barbarian Horde and the United Planets

Jailbait Lass felt a rising frustration despite trying to remain calm. But her she was again, stuck in a place she did want to be when she had a mission that was contingent upon begin completed as quickly as possible. As soldiers walked around her, doing a variety of jobs, both administrative and artisan, she paid no heed to how many of them took an extra few seconds to soak in her presence. She was attractive to many of them. It wasn’t that the armies of Cobalt Kid never saw women, as many females were actual soldiers and even heroes of Cobalt’s Legions, it was that she had a certain youthful vulnerability to her that many found attractive. It was her most hated quality.

In a nearby room, Scipio Taltarus continued to give orders and keep his fleets running in an orderly fashion. This was where he excelled as a leader, as his men followed his orders without question, never thinking to second guess him. The fleets under his command continued to move ever closer to the borders of the Barbarian Horde. Danger Damsel stood off to the side, waiting, growing ever impatiently.

“Good, we’ll be upon the borders shortly,” Scipio continued, close to finishing his administrative duties. “The borders are vast and the Triumvirate armies still have stations throughout. But with the retirement of the Starhaven contingent and the semi-retirement of Eryk Davis Ester’s army on Greg Evignan Island, we are far more short handed these days than before. Especially with the majority of the UP’s military might with Cobaltus in the Dark Oval,” he finished, aware that he was speaking for his own benefit at this point. The soldiers trusted he saw the big picture—they were last for dinner. “Dismissed. Strength and honor.” At last they left the room.

Danger Damsel glared at him.

He looked back, showing no sign of emotion. He had a hardened look about him at all times, no matter how he felt at the moment.

“Well?” she said.

“Well?” he repeated.

“Well, is that all I get? You come in, fight a battle, and move on to the Horde without a word? No comments on where we stand these days? Are we going to war? Are the armies coming here? What about my work?”

“Yes,” he said. She looked at him funny. “Yes, Anne, that’s all you get. You disobeyed orders. Cobalt wants Jailbait Lass with him ASAP, but you came here. You don’t trust him to do what’s right. He’s got a plan.”

“He’s losing his mind!” she yelled at Scipio, becoming infuriated. “And you’re following orders like its business as usual! The Barbarian Horde is on the move! And you come out here,” she continued, “and completely ignore me. I know whats in there…” her voice began to get quieter. She was right in his face, but began to back off.

“My duty is to the army,” said Scipio, calm and cold, with no apology in his voice, “and we realize the danger. And I think your letting personal feelings cloud your judgment. We’re doing all we can. I’m doing all I can.” He came up close behind her, as she had his back to him. “You’ll have to trust someone Anne,” he said softly.

Suddenly, she turned around and kissed him. She kissed him hard, and two years of emotion ran through her. She loved this man, whom she barely ever saw, and she knew he loved her back. But he infuriated her, with his arrogance and calm demeanor. And she knew she infuriated him, with her impatience. But neither could resist the other.

Now many floors over, Jailbait Lass entered a small pod, and quickly hacked into the system. “Let them have their lover’s quarrel,” she thought, “while I slip out of here for good. Looks like I’m on my own in the deepest parts of space. Off to the Dark Oval.”

SECURITY OFFICE

Rescued from the tomb underneath the Print Works the heavily damaged but still operational everyday tank rolled back into the garage at the Security Office under its own power.

Disembarking the tank crew stretched their legs and breathed easier than they had for the past few hours. The reporter Clarkson quickly excused himself from the company of Everyday Girl and Faraway Lad who were analysing the strange chain of events.

The Rookery Road

Using his Nose of Wonder, it didn't take long for Hyvvie the Wonder Beagle to track down Rockhopper Lass. Rockhopper Lass turned back to see him running after her. "Hyvvie! Let me go!" She turned in the other direction and there standing in the road were some of the other Super-Pets: Jinx, the Calamity Cat; Piddlin' Pup; Blok, the Pet Rock; Buzz, the Giant Bee; and Old Dutch, the Super-Cow.

Seeing this menagerie, combined with her stress and exhaustion caused Rockhopper Lass to collapse.

"This one sure faints a lot!" remarked Blok.

"Who is she again?" forgetful Old Dutch asked.

"Old Dutch, can you remember anything?" Buzz returned.

"Sure I can! I remember when I used to be able to fly and when I fought crime with Ajax, the Super-Goat and Bon Ami, the Super-Chicken. I remember when I had heat vision, instead of lukewarm vision..."

"Is she starting that again?" Buzz shook his head.

"To answer your question, Old Dutch," Jinx purred, "She's Rockhopper Lass from the Earth-4 universe. She's that universe's double of Rockhopper Lad's sister."

"Whose sister?" Old Dutch asked, putting a hoof to her forehead.

"Rockhopper Lad! My master!" Hyvvie answered.

"She looks just like him too!" Piddlin' Pup added.

"So what do we do with her now?" asked Blok.

"I guess we take her back to the Rookery," offered Hyvvie.

"Where?" asked Old Dutch.

"Rockhopper's Rookery," Jinx said, slightly impatiently, then asking Hyvvie "Won't Rockhopper Lad have woken up by now and noticed she's missing?"

Hyvvie sighed. "I love Rockhopper Lad, but I swear he could sleep through World War VIII!"

Deep Space somewhere along the edges of the United Planets, the Barbarian Horde and the Dark Oval

Jailbait Lass’s stomach ached harder than ever and she cursed herself for being so naïve. How she thought she could ever make it through space to a place hardly even explored by UP geographers was beyond her at this point. She had brought what she thought was more than enough food. She was wrong. She was starving, and she was running out of time. ‘Please…’ she thought, praying to the only source of justice she knew existed—the Legion of Message Board Posters.

Jailbait Lass looked out the window, and thought she was hallucinating. But no, there was a teenage boy, dressed in odd clothing with spectacles on. He knocked on the window. “Lolita, right? Please let me in. My 19th Century technology will only allow me to survive out here in space for so long. And these telepathic earplugs are LMB standard—but only from your early days.”

“Who?” she whispered, letting him in. At this point, she was ready to trust anyone.

“Its me, Time Boy!,” he said, “my records indicate that you would need someone to stop by and give you some food, or you’d starve to death! So I have what I consider one of the greatest inventions of a millennia ago, though it would not be created until after my time. It’s a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,” he said, pulling one out for her.

She thought she might be losing it, but her analytical mind would not let her. Of course: Time Boy. An honorary LMBer. Known in the 19th Century as the great writer H.G. Wells, who would essentially create the genre of Science Fiction. But when he was younger, as a child, he would go on time-traveling adventures, known as Time Boy, and battle along-side the LMB. He usually showed up at odd times, like now.

“How did you know…?” she said, in between bites.

“Stoopid Cat told me,” he replied. “He told me I’d screwed up his adventure, so I became curious about these couple of weeks and read up on them. Lots of crazy things going on—what is about to happen to the LMB will altar everything, set the LMB on a whole new course. I saw that at some point someone made their way to you in order to fend off your starvation, so I took a chance, hoped it was me, and decided to get involved in the adventure, even if only for a cameo.”

“Wait, what?” she said, perplexed. “Back up. Stoopid Cat?”

“Yes, Stoopid Cat. I’ve had more adventures with him than anyone. In our latest, well, my his latest relative to you at this time, depending how you look at it, I took him back to the 1950’s to fight alongside his buddies in the JSMBP. Unfortunately, he was supposed to be meeting you, and I screwed that up, and set you on your course. I could have sent him back to the time I took him out of your century, but at some point we separated, and while he was still in the past, I came here to feed you. So I can’t take him back here now, until I leave after feeding you, otherwise, I’d screw up the fabric of time by being in two places as once. So, I have to feed you, then return to retrieve him, and deposit him back here at a time later than my departure from this meeting. Its all about time travel, you see?”

Jailbait Lass finished her sandwich. “No, not really. But do you have a drink?”

“Yes, here,” he finished, handing her a glass of milk, “fresh too, not like that stuff you guys have here in the 31st Century. They tried to take out all the bad stuff in the 25th century and accidentally took out all the good. But I really must apologize about Stoopid Cat. I’m sure he’ll be back before this is all done to play some part. In fact, I’d wager on it.”

Jailbait Lass nodded. She didn’t understand the details completely, but understood that Stoopid Cat got sidetracked via Time Boy, but because of time travel, could not come back until after this meeting between Jailbait Lass and Time Boy. “Well, thanks for the save,” she said, her usual shyness coming back now that she realized she just devoured the food her offered her.

“My pleasure! Tell everyone I said hi, and don’t forget about your mushroom from Dr. Mayavale!” he yelled, getting up and preparing to leave.

She *had* forgotten about it. “Thanks again!” she said, waving. She wanted to talk more, but he seemed ready to go.

“Its off to the Prehistoric era for me! I’ve been waiting years to see if someone else defeats Hitler’s Nazis there, but I guess it’ll probably just be me—!” he continued, letting his sentence trail off as he disappeared.

Heh, she thought. What an odd boy, although fascinating. A shame though, the one day he would be killed by Lucifer Lass, in front of Eryk Davis Ester’s eyes. Apparently, he would be an old man by then at least.

Suddenly, an immense blast of green light exploded into her view! It was a scouting blast of energy and immediately, its owner was upon her.

“Jailbait Lass!” said the voice, “what in Sam Hill are you doing out here?” he finished. It was Abin Quank, Green Lantern! “Invisible Brainiac got your message and sent me. You’re pretty off the beaten path, you know…”

At last, she thought, we’re getting somewhere…

Outside Dr. Mayavale's Mediation Tent

Seth came within sight of the tent, a structure unusual to his sight. Then again, he was used to ferrocrete bunkers... so maybe it was just him? What caught his attention more, however, was who was also approaching the tent.

"Helena..." Seth, not realizing he was doing it, gave her a shy smile. Then he cleared his throat abruptly, drawing himself up to a more formal stance as he saw her companion. "My greatest apologies, Madam Ambassador; it was not my intent to slight you." Seth offered Winema a formal bow, hoping that she'd be mollified. Winema (as he remembered) was known for crushing the careers of those who opposed her; she could possibly cost Seth his sanctuary at Legion World.

Office of Security Sub-basement. The Morgue.

Frio, carrying Lil' Matlock in her arms, enters the Morgue, where Dedman has been performing an autopsy on Lard Lad. It's not often that the Security Office has to conduct forensic investigations, but when they have to, no member of the team is more qualified than Dedman.

It's not a job he relishes, however. For a man who cannot die permanently, nothing hurts more than losing people he cares about because they do not share his gift/curse. He finds that still feeling the pain of loss after all this time is a mixed blessing. True, it keeps his human compassion intact, but he's doomed to lose everyone he cares for eventually. He often wonders in these dark moments if retaining his humanity is really worth it.

This is one of those moments. Lard Lad was one of the most prominent LMBers at the time Dedman entered their ranks. Lardy and several others helped make this natural outcast feel like he had a family for the first time in ages. Seeing him lying there dead really hurts. Damn his humanity!

"How...how does it go, Deddy?" Frio asks, snapping Dedman out of his morass.

"Slowly," he says wearily. "Maybe I shouldn't have done this one--I'm too close to..to the subject. I'm getting nowhere fast."

"You can do this, pal," Lil' Matlock says, pulling the pappy out of his mouth.

"No, I don't think I can! You two, and most of the Security Officers, have some detachment here--you don't really know him, he'd been away so long. But this was a really good friend..and a good man."

He rubs his eyelids and continues. "Also, I can't remember what happened the last time I died for some reason. And I think it was very important. It's driving me crazy...my head's just not in the game!"

"Deddy," Lil' Matlock says calmly, "you've got to do this. You're our best guy. We can only hold this back from Cobalt for so long...we need to know if it's him and everything about how he died. If you're his friend, you'd do it for him! I believe he'd want you to. So...can you proceed?"

"I..." Dedman begins and hesitates,"...yes. Yes I can."

"Good, good. We'll leave you to your work. Notify us as soon as you're ready to report."

Frio exits carrying Lil' Matlock as Dedman dives into his task with renewed vigor.

"Um, Frio?" Lil' Matlock says outside the Morgue door. "I, uh, made you a present in my diapy..."

The Rookery

Rockhopper Lad awoke early from his deep slumber. "Mmmboy! There's nothing like a good night's sleep!"
Noticing the Wonder Beagle on the floor by his bed, Rockhopper smiled at him. "Good morning, Hyvvie. Already up, I see. Oh, you have your friends with you. Good morning, Super-Pets. Why are you all looking at me like that?"

"Because I ran off in the night and they found me and brought me back here," Rockhopper Lass answered.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, Eudyptes. I panicked. I don't know anything about myself beyond what you've told me and I..." She began to cry.

"Oh, Adelie, I'm sorry," he held his "sister" close. "It'll be all right. We'll find a way to restore your memory and get you home. I promise. I'll have breakfast prepared and then we'll go to headquarters and see what the other LMBers have found out." Turning to the Super-Pets, Rockhopper Lad smiled and said, "Thank you all for bringing her back. You're all invited for breakfast as well. Is there anything in particular you'd like?"

Old Dutch, the Super-Cow, scratched her head with her hoof again. "I'd like it if I had super-speed again instead of super-walking. I'd like it..."

Blok interrupted, "He means to eat."

"Oh. Sorry. Super-hearing's not what it used to be."

Rockhopper Lass, leaving her "brother"'s embrace smiled and started to chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Rockhopper Lad asked.

"You're sitting here having a conversation with five animals and a rock as if it were just something that people do every day."

"Legion World is a very special place, Adelie."

"I don't see what's so amazing," Buzz piped in. "That's nothing compared to talking Penguin People!"

The Dark Oval: De Facto Headquarters of the Armies of the United Planets and the Legion World Triumvirate


“It’s uglier”, said Jailbait Lass, taking in all of the scenery, as they flew through Dark Oval Space. If it could be called that anymore. No one was sure what it was, now that the United Planets and the Legion World Triumvir Cobalt Kid had actually invaded the Dark Oval and had begun conquering their territory.

“No, its not,” replied Abin Quank, “you’re just biased. Its beautiful out here…” he mused. Abin had seen far corners of space that very few ever had. They flew through the Dark Oval and approached the base, and Abin used his ring to see far off into the blackness of space, revealing the various ‘nations’ and ‘cartels’ that existed in the Dark Oval. The Dark Oval was run by (5) cartels, each one having their own vassal-states beneath them, some more powerful than others. Out of the five, only three had ever had any interaction with the LMB: the Dominion and the Hrykos Clan, who had invaded Legion World, and the Black Sun, which had been a subversive element in the UP before.

Out of all of the LMB, Abin was perhaps the most adept at interstellar travel, as he was the universe’s last remaining Green Lantern, as well as the patron of the House of Quank, a prominent family on Legion World and among the LMB. When he received Invisible Brainiac’s message, he quickly flew out to find Jailbait Lass. Mainly, because he had a soft-spot for her, as the best friend of his granddaughter, Everyday Girl. But also, because he wanted to see how things were progressing in the Dark Oval. The war had been raging for months now, and had taken a sharp turn. Not only were the Dark Oval forces driven out of the UP, but the UP now pro-actively was conquering the Dark Oval. And this, he knew, was the will of the LMBer Cobalt Kid. Ironically, these days there was a calm trust between Cobalt Kid and Abin Quank, which the newer members did not realize was something new. Indeed, in past years, many had considered Cobalt Kid and Abin Quank to be rivals. Not enemies, since they were comrades and often battled alongside each other, but not friends. It was Space Ranger, Abin Quank’s brother that was friends with Cobalt, who had helped create the Security Office with him. Both Abin and Cobalt had a tremendous amount of respect and admiration for Space Ranger, and his devotion to truth and justice. Upon his death during the Infinite Crisis, something strange happened. Abin and Cobalt seemed to lay aside all the rivalry and begin working together more often, having a mutual understanding that their goals were the same. They had become friends. Now, Cobalt firmly trusted in Abin Quank and his wife Pagan Lass, and they both ran the Security Office with him. Mere weeks ago, Cobalt had named Abin co-Chief of Security with Matlock while he was reforming the Security Office in the wake of the Invasion.

They arrived, at last. Disaster Boy hailed them as they flew down, and the various army leaders took note. In addition to UP military, there was Cobalt’s own Triumvir officers, as well as Rockhopper Lad’s Penguin Army, Lucien Lad’s army of Brads, Psyonian forces and an array of other military allies.

“Wow, he does look grim,” said Abin, who obviously had heard the rumors that Disaster Boy seemed remarkably different after his time away for those many months. Jailbait Lass took note.

“Thanks Abin, for seeing to Jailbait Lass’ safe arrival,” he said. He turned to her. “Lolita, Cobalt would like to—“. He shouldn’t have wasted her breath, she had already run off to find him. He turned back to Abin. “Ever been to the Dark Oval before?” he asked.

“I’ve been just about everywhere,” replied the Green Lantern.

Jailbait Lass ran through the crowd, and as she caught sight of a podium upon a hill, she realized that is where Cobalt must be. She was very affectionate towards him, but knew plainly his arrogance would have him planted firmly upon an elevated position. She ran forward and suddenly saw Shark Lad take notice of her. He seemed different—ferocious, agitated. He suddenly tensed up, as if to snatch her away before she could reach the podium, which she could now see was a chair.

“No, Sharky,” said a voice, which she barely recognized, “let her pass. Control your anger here, among friends…”

As she ran up, she knew it was him. She was glad to see him—but suddenly so angry. Fire pulsed through her veins. She couldn’t help it—she was tired of long journeys, tired of his lack of communication. She was yelling, she realized, yelling! She hardly ever spoke, let alone yelled. “Where have you been?!” she yelled, “what’s going on?! Why are you still here? No one wants a war, yet, why are you still fighting?” She was shocked at herself, shocked that she had such political convictions and would voice them.

Finally, she saw him. Sitting down, his red cloak around him, and covered in armor. He had a centurion’s helmet on. What she did not know, was that the men had not seen him whithout a helmet since that day they left Legion World’s orbit. He had refused to take it off. But now, in front of all of them, with Jailbait Lass looking at him, he did. “You see Lolita,” said Cobalt Kid, revealing his face, and pausing. He face was a brutalized, horrific mess. Superboy Prime’s punches had smashed it into pulp, and ripped it apart. Deep cuts went through is nose and another over his eye, scaring the eye badly. His ear had been smashed and his face had been burned badly on the left side by heat vision. His once legendary handsome features had been scarred. But the real scars, she now realized, were all internal. “You see…,” he continued, “...I have been extremely busy, and not all has been well.”

Office of Security Sub-basement. The Morgue.

A couple hours after his last visit, Lil' Matlock scoots into the morgue aboard his baby walker and finds Dedman inputting info into his Omnicom.

"You called for me, Deddy?"

"Yeah, Matty, I'm about through here."

"What do you have?"

"Well, first of all, he was definitely killed from the multiple stab wounds to his chest. The organ damage was extensive. I doubt anything could've saved him..."

"Any ideas about the weapon?"

"Yeah," Dedman answers, checking his notes, "my wound analysis program suggests the weapons may have been sais, common daggers/short swords from Earth's Japanese region as a martial arts weapon. They are rarely used over the past millenium, but are not unheard of."

"Do you have an image of this 'sai' weapon?"

"Yes. Here." Dedman taps his Omnicom and hands it to Lil' Matlock with the image onscreen.

As he studies the image, Lil' Matlock says, "our officers and cadets have retraced the victim's steps. Seems he'd been at the Hootchie Hut quite a while before the murder."

"Not surprising," Dedman muses, "he loved the Hootchie Hut a lot. With his own place destroyed a couple months ago, he'd logically go back there. I remember this adventure we had there way back when. The backroom was inexplicably linked to parallel--"

"Sorry, Deddy," Lil' Matlock interrupts, "but that's not relevant to the investigation."

"Oh! Sorry. Please...continue."

"Anyhow, he's there getting wasted, but it's like he doesn't recognize anybody. Lots of the staff and patrons talk to him like they always did, but he just looks confused. Like he'd never seen any of them before. They say his posture was different--kind of hunched over. And he's being all awkward with the ladies. All shy and not flirtacious at all. Oddest of all was the drinking. Everyone we talked to says he's been a hundred percent sober since he returned after 2 years. But there he was drinking like the old lush he used to be!"

"Well," Dedman offers, "if he and Whordru were on the outs, it could explain all those behaviors. Everything I've heard suggested that the two were pretty lovey-dovey. A breakup or falling out could've hit him hard."

"So, I guess you're saying, Deddy that this is him?"

"Well, nothing suggests otherwise. Genetics match up. Dental records show no differences either. Lardy's bottom front teeth are a little crooked, see?" And he lifts the corpse's lower lip to show him. "These are exactly alligned like Lardy's. Unfortunately, I don't have any records of Lardy's birthmarks, moles and scars, so it's hard to be definitive."

"And we've been unable to confirm Lardy's whereabouts in our search initiative we took based on the possibility that this was not. Gods, I'm going to have to contact Cob--"

"There are two oddities, though. It appears that Lardy's recently had some minor cosmetic surgery."

"Cosmetic surgery?"

"Yes. My laser scanner showed microscopic incisions around his pectorial area...and his navel..." And suddenly, Dedman is lost in thought.

"His navel?" Lil' Matlock wonders. "I can see maybe thinning the fat out of his boobs, but his belly-button? How--?"

"Shit!" Dedman interrupts. "I should've thought of this earlier! This isn't Lardy! And I know who it is!

Legion World University

< Two young men step out of the dormitory turbolift, each one carrying pieces of luggage. They walk down the corridor, and then step into one of the dorm rooms. There are several boxes already there, and on the desk there is a large box wrapped in gift wrap >

[Alternative Boy 7]: Hey look, CA Boy! Someone left us a present!

[Chips Ahoy Boy]: Cool beans, Sash! Must be from one of our lovely lady admirers.

< Alternative boy 7 removes the card stuckt o the top of the box while Chips Ahoy Boy opens the box. From inside he pulls a large wall hanging emblazoned with the LMBP logo >

"To Sasha and Tyler as you enter college,
Know that even as you pursue your dreams, you will always have friends in the LMBP.
Love always, Crujeckie and Des."

[Alternative Boy 7]: Awwwww... I'm gonna get all moist.

[Chips Ahoy Boy]: Pull it together, ya big dork

< Chips Ahoy Boy hangs the banner on the wall in the center of the room so that it can be seen from both their beds and desks >

[Chips Ahoy Boy]: Unpack your art supplies, and I'll make us some cookies.

The Dark Oval: De Facto Headquarters of the Armies of the United Planets and the Legion World Triumvirate

Jailbait Lass was stunned. She had stood there in total silence after seeing his face, and realized the entire crowded area near Cobalt was in silence too. His mangled face had shocked and appalled them just as much as it did her. He simply stood, put his war helmet back on, turned to Shark Lad and said loudly “the whole universe has suffered because of the Dark Oval, and now they’ll remember who they’re fighting.” The crowd erupted in cheers and screams, growing louder and louder, as hysteria swept through them. The anger, the bloodlust, was tempered by the notion that they were fighting for justice.

She followed him now, as he walked forward, obviously for the two of them to be alone. Tears were running down her cheeks and she wiped them away. She had total control of herself again at this point, except for those damn tears. Finally, he stopped. “I’m sorry Lolita, for being so mysterious. Things have…moved quickly.” He seemed more comfortable but still so distant. Again, he would not remove his helmet and armor. “But you’ve delivered something very important to this war, and I greatly appreciate it. I’m sorry Stoopid cat wasn’t there for you and you were side-tracked.”

“Cobie…” she said, moving closer to him. “…you don’t need to do this. You and the others have won back the UP from the Dark Oval, and have beaten off the invading armies. We’ve won.”

“Winning isn’t what this is about,” he said plainly.

“You don’t need to keep pursuing them. The war can end. It doesn’t have to be one of those long wars like in centuries past. It’s been almost a half-year now of constant war.”

“We’ve liberated subjected people. We’ve crippled the Dark Oval’s economy and been able to use their resources for the UP and Legion World’s benefit. We’ve destroyed a number of horrible sentients that care only about inflicting their darkness on the world,” he said looking her face, “think of what we could accomplish in another six months.” His face was inches from hers now, but his metallic helmet made it hard to see into his eyes. She was forced to keep a distance. Her anger from before had subsided completely, and she had grown quiet again.

“Cobie, no,” she said, quietly. “You’ve unleashed Hrun in a way you promised the LMB would never happen. Shark Lad is as ferocious as he was at his worst. Disaster Boy needs help, not someone to incite his anger. You must stop this…the UP supports you, but that doesn’t make it right. It doesn’t make the war right. You’re the driving force now. You can stop us.”

Cobalt looked at her, but said nothing. Their relationship was one that was scarcely understood by any of their mutual acquaintances. She felt a bond to him that she could not put into words…but here, at this moment, she felt it breaking. She put her head on his chest and held him close, but his demeanor was as cold and metallic as his armor.

“I do not know if I could stop it,” he said. “But I know that I won’t.”

A few hundred yards away, Abin Quank finally caught up with Shark Lad and some other rank and file troopers that he had seen before. He was still taking everything in. “I don’t get it,” he said to everyone around him. “Cobalt has healing abilities. He can easily heal the scars on his face and return to normal. I’ve seen him do it before to others.” Shark Lad shrugged and the others said nothing.

Finally, a rank and file grunt, whom no one paid attention to, answered. “It’s not working. It’s the guilt. He’s not letting himself get healed, because he feels guilty about the invasion of Legion World. It’s the guilt.”

LMBP Plaza, the Great Debating Stone

“…And that dear friends, shows beyond a shadow of a doubt why the lurking class must not be blamed for lack of activity among the declining fossil fuels market, but instead must be catered to! They must have a stake in it! Why should they have an invested interest in something that gives them no benefit? I say, if it means toppling an economy to bring light to the plight of the lurkers, then so bet it!”

Great applause and cheers echoed throughout the grassy area known as the Debating Stone. It was famous for common, ordinary citizens expressing their interest in matters that often were extremely complicated and analytical. Thus, it was where one might find the sentient known as Liberty Monkey, espousing his radical beliefs to the common people. Usually it involved issues appealing to lurkers, Alt Ids, felines and the rare disembodied conscious, but occasionally he would hit upon a current event, such as his denunciation of Whordru as a citizen of Legion World and his support of the Taltarian picket line outside of the Evil Genius Supper Club. Recently, he had used this very place to post his now famous missive ‘On Cobalt’ that in his mind completely exonerated Cobalt Kid for his actions in the events leading up the Invasion (which basically worked), and then used it the following day to deliberately denounce Cobalt Kid, Hrun the Barbarian and others are warlords, and demanded they take ‘reasonable action’ and end the war.

One young female had been fascinated by his speeches, believing him to be a great orator, if not right all the time. She now approached. “Excuse, Mr., er…” stumbled Kid Gender Stereotype Reversal II. She smiled. “I’m not sure what to call you.”

“Greetings Kid Gender Reversal Stereotype II! You may call me Liberty Monkey, though I have taken the full name Cicero Chomsky Ester!”

“Well Liberty Monkey, I have a mystery that involves a good friend and I can’t seem to find anyone else at the moment. Tell me, what do you know about ‘52’, other than today marks the 52nd day after the Invasion? Because I have this friend, Dormant Damsel, and…” as she told him, he curiously listened, and both were unaware of someone listening.

“Interesting,” thought the Space Ranger of the Dark Oval…

"Yes, Yes, Yes!!! Now if you will excuse me, I have somewhere I have to be. Come along Helena!" With that Winema strode into Dr. Mayavale's tent. Helena looked at the strange young man. "You'll have to forgive my companion, she can be quite rude."

"HELENA!" came a call from inside the tent. Helena smiled at Seth and entered the tent. Seth decided to wait outside in hopes of seeing the former Dark Oval commander again.

inside Dr. Mayavale's Mediation Tent
The wheezing mists of lalakoolaza whirled around Helena Handbasket as she entered. Winema was sitting on a cushion already. "Ah my dear Eleanor!" Dr. Mayavale reached out and grabbed Helena's hand, kissing it.

"Alright out with it Dr. Mayavale! What did you want to see us about?" inquired Winema. "My darling Cleo, straight to business this time around, eh? Well I am going to help you in your investigation into the Black Sun." "How did you know I was investigating the Black Sun?" Winema focused her stare at the engimatic figure. "My dear, the mist. The mist tell me much. But to be sure, I must make contact with both of your auras." The Doctor takes both their hands in his (leaving him two free hands) Helena feels him slipping a piece of paper into her hand.

Dr. Mayavale breathed in deeply of the mists of lalakoolaza. His eyes closed. "Yes, yes, it is true. The answers you seek can be found in two places. First you must go to the old Ice Cream Parlol. And then I see your path going to Ggrgg. Or is that Ggrgg coming to you?"

"Parlol?" whispered Helena to Winema. "It is what you might call an ice cream parlor."

Suddenly Dr. Mayavale's eyes opened. "The mists have revealed what is hidden. You may go now."

outside Dr. Mayavale's Mediation Tent
Helena and Winema exited the tent. There waiting was Seth. Helena looked at the young man and smiled. He smiled back to her. "Do I know you?" Helena inquired. Meanwhile Winema seemed to be preoccupied with opening up a note.

back inside Dr. Mayavale's Mediation Tent

From a fold in the back of the tent, a figure stepped forward. Dr. Mayavale turned to face the figure. "I have done as you asked Hamilton. Our karma is back in balance." "Well, let's get it out of balance." The figure pulls out a small gun. With a quiet "poof" a small dart strikes Mayavale. His eyes roll into his head and he falls, striking his head on a small table. The figure pulls the unconscious Mayavale through the back of the tent. "Now you can't betray me and warn those two."

MEDICUS EIGHT

"Well, that's it. I can't help you. According to all of my scans, there seems to be no medical explanation as to why your powers are malfunctioning. Perhaps it's something psychological..."

"Thanks, Dr. Orbal, but I tend to doubt that. I went through a lot of counseling after arriving in this universe, but my therapist says I'm doing better than ever."

"Still... it must have been rough on you, being the sole survivor of an entire reality..."

"Many worlds died during the Crisis on Infinite Message Boards. Mine was but one of them. I've been able to do a lot of good here for this universe. My team is still together, and functioning better than ever, with a whole slew of new members. Plus, I've got the hottest new boyfriend..."

"Hmm... it does sound like things are going well for you, other than this."

"Yeah. In fact, this is about the most inopportune time for my powers to be malfunctioning. My team doesn't need a leader whose abilities are only at half strength..."

"I... I'm not sure what to say, Captain. I mean... every time you've been in for a checkup before, the giant lightbulb on your head has generated the equivalent glow of an 100-watt bulb every time you have an idea. Now, for no apparent reason, it's down to a mere 52 watts. But it seems to have nicely leveled off. Why could that be?"

"For once, Doctor, I have no idea!"

Office of Security Sub-basement. The Morgue.

"Well, don't keep me in suspense, Deddy," Lil' Matlock prompts impatiently.

"The keys here, Matty, are those incisions and where they are," Dedman answers while running a scanner over the body's pectoral and navel areas. "Yes, just what I thought...there's some scar tissue around the pectorals. He's had major deconstructive surgery on them, not just lipo. This is akin to a woman having her breasts removed. Judging by the incisions and the scar tissue, they were very big."

"So...this is a...woman?" Matty says while peeking under the sheet around the body's groin area. "If so, she's had some pretty impressive work done."

"No, no, no, Matty...it's definitely a man, but one who had large, feminine breasts."

"So...he's some kinda freak?"

"Well, I suppose you could say so, but look--" and he shows Matty the read-outs on the navel.

"Okay, what does this mean?"

"It means that this man didn't have a navel at all before the surgery. It was constructed for him."

"So we had a man who used to have no belly button and huge knockers? Is this supposed to mean something to me?"

"Well," Dedman says with some impatience, "the lack of a navel means this man was a clone. A clone of Lard Lad who used to have large breasts. Ring a bell?"

"er, no."

"As one of the commanding Security Officers, I'd advise you to start boning up on the files! In any case this man must be the clone of Lard Lad known as HUGEMANBREASTS."

"Never heard of him," Lil' Matlock admits. "Pretty mean moniker, though."

"Yeah. 'Hugh', as Lard Lad called him, was a little slow. He was very childlike and easily manipulated by the LMB's enemies. Last we saw of him, he was with the Titty Trio. He'd turned against the other two, but accidentally hurt Space Tart while trying to protect her. He fled, and we hadn't seen him since. Gods, Fiona is going to be devastated! She loved him like a brother. Lardy did, too."

"I guess the question would be, then," Lil' Matlock says, "was he the intended victim, or was he mistaken for Lardy?"

Dedman thinks for amoment, then comes to a decision. "I may be able to learn that directly from the source. But someone's gonna have to kill me first!"

"Seth Gaterra, of Angtu. We'd met briefly during the battle against Metternich." he told Helena. "While technically mine was the killing blow against him, it wouldn't have worked except for your courage..." He brushed his left hand's fingertips against the upper part of her cyberarm. "And sacrifice."

After his conversation with Helena, Seth headed into the tent. The scent of lalakoolaza, to Seth, reminded him of the chemical mists of Angtu... but according to his crystal children, they sensed the ocean sprays of Klirn instead. Must be magic at work; I know I've survived near-omnitoxic conditions on too many worlds for a mere hallucinogen to affect me? he thought to himself.

"Dr. Mayavale?" Seth called out, not seeing any sign of the man yet. When there was no reply, he headed back further into the tent... still no sign of him. "This doesn't make sense; if he wasn't here in the first place, the ladies would have left immediately. If he had to leave after their appointment, then Helena at least would have been kind enough to warn me?"

He looked around again, his eyes finally focusing on the crooked table. Seth started to reach out to straighten it back up -- then paused at the stain on its edge. A stain that looked suspiciously like blood... Seth pulled out his Omnicom; a quick scan confirmed his suspicions. He quickly called the emergency channel to summon the local authorities.

Seth felt a familiar twinge of fear that he'd be accused of this; he was far too used to being condemned and punished without even an attempt at a trial. But if he left the scene of the crime, it would probably go far worse for him...

OOC: I know Legion World has its own security force. But is its composition mainly military, paramilitary, or police?

OOC: mostly, a police force, I believe. The military-type things Cobalt is up to is his own separate army unrelated to the Security Office. It is comprised mostly of LMBers, its membership specifically listed on the latest pages of Cobalt's "Office" thread on the MMB. There are lots of non-LMBers employed also as beat officers (especially in the post-INVASION chaos)and such, so you don't have to use specific LMBers. You could make up some guys. Hope that helps!

(BTW, might be better to ask the OOC questions in Critic's Corner in the future! )


***Cobalt EDIT - guys, feel free to use This Thread for OOC posts!***

THE ISLA LARGA PLANETOID

A cloaked figure sits before an array of monitors, watching scenes of destruction from the invasion of Legion World. Image after image flashes across the screens, leading up to the final battle in orbit.

"Stop!" shouts the cloaked figure.

The image of a LMBer is frozen on the center screen.

"So, he survived. This complicates matters a bit."

From the shadows comes another voice. "Are we still going ahead with our plans?"

"Of course!" answers the cloaked figure, turning away from the monitors, "The invasion couldn't have come at a better time! They're distracted and therefore weak. They won't realize what we're up to until it's too late!"

The cloak figure turns back to the image on the screen.

"And, as for him, I'll make sure he suffers before he dies."

The Dark Oval: De Facto Headquarters of the Armies of the United Planets and the Legion World Triumvirate

Abin Quank saw three soldiers huddled together against a make-shift tent, slightly shaking. He thought it might be their nerves, but upon closer inspection, realized they were just cold. This planet evidently rotated much slower than other planets and did not get much sun, and these poor alien’s physiology could not handle it. “Poor souls,” he said, warming them up with his ring. “This whole war is a mess. I’m wondering if it should be continued. We’ve made our point and driven the Dark Oval out. Should we now invade their own territory too? It certainly doesn’t seem like the heroic ideals of the LMB…”

The Barbarian Horde

“I have plenty of jobs that I need to attend to, Anne,” said Scipio, “and the fact that Jailbait Lass slipped off while you and I played ‘kissy’ will definitely be cause for some sort of reprimand.”

She turned to him, lying in his bed with him, comfortable to be lying on his chest. “Please. You’re the hero of the Triumvir legions. Can’t you play ‘kissy’ some more?” she laughed. “Really…who says ‘kissy’…” she continued to giggle.

He smiled, and got out of bed. “Well, what to do today to make ourselves useful?” he asked out loud, getting his thoughts in order. “The armies have fortified the UP border, but the main thing we need to investigate is the Dark Oval border with the Barbarian Horde. That, of course, will be where all the fighting is.”

“We need to find out why a Barbarian Horde ship was here in the UP,” she added. “They should be focusing on the Dark Oval. After all, they’ve now got your biggest fear: a common enemy. A uniting force.” She said, strapping her sword over her shoulder.

“Its worse,” he sighed suddenly, as if reminded by something. “I forgot you’re a few weeks out of date. New intel has continued to come in. Not only are the Barbarians rallying to Dominus’ cause against the Dark Oval, but there appears to be a whole other unifying force we never considered in the Barbarian Hordes.”

“What could that be?” she said, “I was there for two years. I should know.”

“And you probably do a little, but in the last few weeks things have progressed at a rapid pace unlike anything we’ve ever seen. Its religion. A common religion is spreading through the Barbarian Hordes at an incredibly rapid pace. And its giving them more reason to unify. Worse, Dominus himself, the leader of the large Khanate they’re all rallying to, is a devout follower of this religion, and many are taking it on for themselves now, as part of their show of loyalty to his cause against the Dark Oval. No matter what reason they are following the religion now, once they become immersed in it, they will likely remain devoted to it long after the Dark Oval war is over. Religion is an even more dangerous tool.”

“What religion is it?” she asked perplexed.

“The Black Sun,” he replied.

Moon of Taltar Spa and Resort

Many women across the galaxy have yearned to go to one of its the finest resorts. The resort on Taltar's moon was reknowned for its exclusivity with the number of off-worlders visiting each year severly restricted.

On this occasion two LMBers found themselves in a luxuriously appointed room illuminated by flattering soft light. In the background the relaxing sound of a solar magnetic storm hitting an idle communications transmitter could be heard. Exotic essential oils drifted through the air providing mental clarity, rejuvenation and relaxation as the scents drifted down onto Nova Girl and Caliente lying in prone position on ajoining massage tables.

Caliente peered upwards sneaking an admiring a peak at her attendent Lars, a rather strapping Taltarian man that had Cali burning warmer than usual.

"Cali don't bother, none of the males in quality Taltarian establisments would be interested in us. They're all batting for the other team."

"*sigh* I knew it was too good to be true. Still it was nice of Thora to give us this trip."

"Well we did resolve that nasty pay dispute. Ooooo Look at the butt on that one, Cali."

"Ahem, gay remember?"

"Doesn't hurt him or us to look."

"No it doesn't."

Nova Girl drifted off but not before she getting into the spirit of the place. Turning to her attendent she sneered, "Put your back into it like you mean it. You cretin."

Shopping District, Capital City Taltar - Later

"Look up in the sky"

Cali and Nova Girl turned in the direction of the crowd standing agape looking to the sky. In it was a huge group of angry looking Taltarian men who definitely didn't resemble the docile well-behaved males the two tourists had seen on this trip.

Cali pulled out her LMB scanning device to get a reading.

"Weird, definitely Taltarian but defintely not from around here. Parallel universe maybe."

"Yep i'm getting that those guys have never heard of Taltar where a superior matriarchal system exists'"

"Faraway and Everyday mentioned some weird multiple universe flashes when the comic factory reappeared."

"Great. A transdimensional invasion by smelly, beer drinking Taltarian males. Lets lend a hand before they wreck Taltar."

Nova and Cali flew into action flying directly towards the front of the formation of beer swillers.

"Halt, by order of the LMB. The government of Taltar is under our protection."

"Nay, I am Thor of Taltar and in our time in your universe we've seen our Taltarian brethern denied the pleasures of watching football and swilling beer till we pass out at Sunday dinner. Begone wenches, we fly to the Matriarch's palace."

With that the weapons fire began as the angry men began firing their weapons at Nova and Cali. Cali responded in kind, by shooting flames at the attackers picking off the flanks of the formation.

"Take that. How's that for a woman cooking?"

Nova flew directly into the formation allowing herself to be surrounded by the men. An uncomfortable position but one that she often allowed to happen.

"Mmmm Boys, don't you always like it when girls push back?"

As they closed in on her she ignited in a ball of energy causing the surrounding air to explode in a ball of concussive force. The shockwave blew the attackers in all directions knocking most of them unconscious.

Far below Cali could see female Taltarian police supervisors ordering their male muscle squads to retrieve the downed male liberationists. Nova and Cali slowly floated down to the surface.

"So much for vacation. Lets report to the authorities here and get back to Legion World."