Roll Call
1 members (Invisible Brainiac, Invisible Brainiac), 40 Murran Spies, and 3 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Time-Scope
Kill This Thread LXI - Over the Hill
by Invisible Brainiac - 12/20/24 11:24 AM
I'm Thinking of a DCU character Part 6!
by Invisible Brainiac - 12/20/24 10:27 AM
The Non-Legion Comics Trivia Thread Pt 5
by Invisible Brainiac - 12/20/24 10:25 AM
Recent Legion-verse sightings in DCU proper
by Korbal - 12/20/24 10:15 AM
Legion Trivia 6
by Eryk Davis Ester - 12/20/24 04:47 AM
Crow! Tell us the good things going on in your life!
by Ann Hebistand - 12/19/24 04:53 AM
Kill This Thread LX - Nearing Retirement
by Invisible Brainiac - 12/18/24 03:37 PM
So, what are you listening to?
by Eryk Davis Ester - 12/18/24 02:35 PM
Omnicom
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Second Chances (a preboot LSH fanfic
#1015864 06/12/22 09:16 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
Not much between despair and ecstacy
OP Offline
Not much between despair and ecstacy
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
Hey, all. Here's a fanfic I wrote recently. I hope you enjoy it.

I wrote this as a 22-page comic book script. It's a bit rough in places, and I welcome any feedback. To make it digestible, I'll post a few pages at a time. If you're not familiar with comic book scripts, here are some common abbreviations:

EXT: Exterior. The scene takes place out of doors.

INT: Interior. The scene takes place indoors.

OP: The speaking character is off-panel.

SFX: Special effect, such as the sound of an explosion

thot: thought balloon

CAP: caption

CUT TO: An abrupt transition to a different scene.

Everything else should be self-explanatory. If there are questions, feel free to post them.

“Second Chances”
A Legion of Super-Heroes fanfic
By
Greg Gildersleeve
Legion characters and settings © DC Comics, Inc.
Story © 2022 Greg Gildersleeve


PAGE ONE
Panel 1. Long, dark, metallic chasm. A lone figure climbs down a rope from an unseen opening at the top.
THIEF (thot) Just a little further . . .

Panel 2. From just above the figure, whom we’ll call the THIEF. He is covered head to toe in cybernetic armor—only his face is visible, though we can’t see it yet. Strapped to his back is a long, covered object. It could be a duffel bag, but we can see metal wires sticking out of openings in the wrapping.
THIEF (thot) It cost a ton of credits to get the access codes to this dead world . . .
and transport . . . and all the equipment.
THIEF (thot) But it will be worth it.

Panel 3. Having reached the end of the rope, he lets go and drops, arms wide . . .
THIEF (thot) That’s as far as the rope will go.
THIEF (thot) No turning back.

Panel 4. . . . and lands on a metal floor in a vast empty chamber.
SFX BAMMmmmmmm

PAGE TWO
Panel 1. Angle from behind the Thief as he sees two small drones approaching. They fly in a zigzag pattern, emitting laser-like probe lights, searching for their prey.
THIEF (thot) The echo of my landing alerted what passes for a security system.

Panel 2. In a quick motion, he pulls out a blaster from a side holster (let’s make it one of the Science Police hand blasters of this era) and blasts first one probe and then the other while protecting his “duffle bag” with his other hand.
THIEF (thot) But I’m prepared for that.
SFX (blaster) SKEW!
SFX (blaster) SKEW!

Panel 3. He dashes down a long corridor, toward an opening with brilliant orange light outside.
THIEF (thot) It won’t be long before more drones come . . .
THIEF (thot) . . . but I see my destination!

Panel 4. EXT. He reaches the opening, which appears to be the outside of the building. We at last see his face. He is middle-aged with a heavy grey beard and weary eyes. But he looks up in wonder.
THIEF (thot) My God! It’s magnificent.

PAGE THREE
Full-page spread. He stands on a ledge of a once ornate building, now dull and sun-bleached—and looks out into the city, which is dominated by huge, hulking robots—the same robots we saw back in Adventure Comics # 332. This is the WORLD OF DEAD ROBOTS, and these gigantic automatons have not moved in hundreds of years. They are both awe-inspiring and tragic, covered with rust against bone-like dead buildings. This image of death stands in contrast to the beautiful verdant hills in the background, the orange sky, and the dual sun system, all of which seem to be struggling in vain to bring life back to this dead world.
THIEF (thot) The World of Dead Robots.
THIEF (thot) The legends do not do it justice. Supposedly, the machines on this planet rebelled against their creators and drove them off. With no one left to repair them, the machines stopped functioning and died.
THIEF (thot) What kind of technology, what kind of secrets must this place have?

PAGE FOUR
Panel 1. A probe appears from around the side of the building and fires a ray at him. He ducks . . .
SFX FZZAK!
THIEF (thot) Quit dawdling, you old fool!

Panel 2. And leaps off the ledge while in the same motion firing his blaster and destroying the probe.
THIEF (thot) Must stay focused on the mission!
SFX SKEW!

Panel 3. He lands on the rubble-strewn street below in an awkward position. Trying to protect his duffle bag, he lands on his left leg and cries out in pain.
THIEF AAAGH!

Panel 4. No time for the pain, he hobble-runs through the giant legs of one of the dead robots.
THIEF (thot): Just my luck . . . to break my leg on this abandoned planet where there’s no one to help me.
THIEF (thot): Must stay focused . . . If I find what I’m looking for, the pain won’t matter!

PAGE FIVE
Panel 1. On the other side of the massive legs, he approaches a building marked in an alien script.
THIEF (thot) This is it! Just where the Khund scavenger said it would be!

Panel 2. He spreads a section of the wall with a large putty-like substance.
THIEF (thot) This ancient stuff was the best I could afford. It better work!

Panel 3. Taking refuge some distance away, he braces himself as the wall EXPLODES!
SFX: KA-BAAAMMMM

Panel 4. From inside the building. He climbs into a darkened room lit only by an ethereal sliver of light from somewhere off-panel.
NO DIALOGUE

Panel 5. Favoring him as he sees the object of his desire: an oval, mirror-like PORTAL! He rejoices.
THIEF (thot): It’s here! Just like the scavenger said! A TIME PORTAL!

Panel 6. Another angle. The Thief watches in silhouette as the Portal flashes out of existence.
THIEF (thot): It’s unstable. It’s been blinking in and out of existence for centuries!
But all I have to do is time it, learn its cycle . . .

Panel 7. His countenance has changed. Whereas before he seemed admirable if weary, now a mad expression comes over him, a twisted sneer of vengeance.
THIEF (thot): . . . then I can go right the wrongs of the past!


Check out my new Power Club website!

The Semi-Great Gildersleeve - writing, super-heroes, and this 'n' that
Re: Second Chances (a preboot LSH fanfic
He Who Wanders #1015866 06/12/22 01:27 PM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
Not much between despair and ecstacy
OP Offline
Not much between despair and ecstacy
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
PAGE SIX
Panel 1. CUT TO: TIMBER WOLF’s fist banging on a door.
SFX: BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!
TIMBER WOLF (OP): Open up!

Panel 2. PULL BACK. We are in the dorm section of Legion HQ. Timber Wolf yells at the door while the shadows of two women (identified below) approach from down the hallway.
TIMBER WOLF: I’m not leaving until you talk to me!

Panel 3 Another angle. SHRINKING VIOLET and SHADOW LASS round the corner and inquire what is going on. Timber Wolf looks perturbed.
SHR. VIOLET: Timber Wolf! What’s going on?
SHADOW LASS: Did you and Light Lass have another spat?
TIMBER WOLF: Very funny, Shadow Lass.

Panel 4. They talk in the hallway. Timber Wolf says he’s concerned about Chemical King, who has been keeping to himself ever since Invisible Kid died. Shady and Vi suggest that he give Chem time to himself.
TIMBER WOLF: It’s Chemical King. He’s been keeping to himself ever since Invisible Kid died.
SHR. VIOLET: Lyle was his friend. Maybe Condo needs some time to himself.
TIMBER WOLF: I suppose. But since we joined the Legion at the same time, I’ve always felt the need to look out for him. Call it my wolfpack mentality if you will.

Panel 5. INT. The room. A dark and disheveled mess. Think of your worst stereotypes of a bachelor pad and then dial it up. The room has not been cleaned in some time, and clothes and bedding are strewn everywhere. There are also futuristic objects—a light globe, a statue of some sort, a Rubiks cube-like puzzle. Outside the door, we hear Timber Wolf saying the girls are probably right and his voice trailing off, indicating he is leaving.
SHADOW LASS (OP): That’s kind, Brin, but Shrinking Violet is right. He must sort this out himself.
SHR. VIOLET (OP): Come on. Let’s go to the rec room for a game of Carggian Chess.
TIMBER WOLF (OP): I suppose you’re right.


PAGE SEVEN
Panel 1. The occupant, CHEMICAL KING, sits atop the bed—one of those thin “slabs” that protrude from the wall, giving it a very clinical feel. He wears his costume pants but is bear-chested—not at all bad looking. He sits in a yoga-like pose, eyes closed and head back. But something is off. His expression suggests pain.
CAPTION: They’re gone. You want to go with them, but you can’t.
CAP: They think it is grief that keeps you chained in your room, isolated from human contact, unable to make friends . . .

Panel 2. Close-in as we get a better look at his pinched expression and furrowed brow. This man is in a private hell.
CAP: If only they knew the truth!

Panel 3. We are inside his head now, as his eyes look lost and bewildered at an alien landscape full of cliffs and stairs that go nowhere, mutated seagulls, and screaming mouths that come out of nowhere.
CAP: You are Chemical King . . . a name you chose for yourself before you joined the Legion. It seemed bombastic, but what else would you call someone who controls chemical reactions . . .
CAP: . . . even the chemical processes of his own brain?

Panel 4. In full costume, he is running up one of the stairs now. He is aware that he is tripping on his own power and is looking for a way out.
CAP: Lyle helped you control this and even kept it a secret from the others. But he’s gone.
CAP: You are alone now, and you are failing!

Panel 5. Now he is suddenly flying, trying to hold onto the stair’s railing. He says he must hold on, while a buzzing sound “appears” and continues into the next panel.
CAP: What’s it feel like to be a drug addict Legionnaire . . . addicted to your own power?
SFX: zzzt zzzt zzzt

Panel 6. And we are back in his room, favoring his Legion flight ring as it sits on the table next to the bed. Chem thinks that at last duty is his salvation.
SFX: zzzt!
BRAINIAC 5 (Voice from flight ring): Attention! All available Legionnaires! Report to the briefing room at once!
CAP: At least duty still snaps you out of it . . . for now.

PAGE EIGHT
Panel 1. Chem, now in full costume, flies through the hall of Legion HQ determined not to be late.
CHEMICAL KING (thot): I can’t be late . . . not again!

Panel 2. He arrives through an open door where the meeting is already in progress. Gathered around a briefing table are SUN BOY, Violet, Shady, and Timber Wolf. All look up at Chem as he makes his entrance. Sun makes a snide remark: Nice of you to join us.
CHEMICAL KING: Hi, uh . . . sorry I’m late.
SUN BOY: Chemical King! So nice of you to join us.

Panel 3. Timber Wolf growls at Sun Boy, who takes it in stride.
TIMBER WOLF: Watch it, Sun Boy!
SUN BOY: At ease!

Panel 4. PULL BACK. The meeting is restored to order by BRAINIAC 5, who stands at the head of the room with a diagram of the World of Dead Robots and a pointer. He tells the team about an alarm going off on the planet.
BRAINIAC 5: If I may continue . . . the planet we know as the World of Dead Robots was a frequent target for scavengers until the United Planets installed basic security probes to keep intruders out.
BRAINIAC 5: Over the last 24 hours, five of those probes have stopped sending signals.
SHR. VIOLET: Perhaps they malfunctioned.
BRAINIAC 5: Occasionally, they do. But five in one day? The UP wants us to investigate.

Panel 5. Team shot. Sun Boy protests that nobody would want the obsolete technology on WDR, and Timber Wolf complains that it’s a long way to go for a dead world.
SUN BOY: But, Brainy, why would anyone want all that obsolete technology? It’s at least 200 years old.
TIMBER WOLF: Seems a long way to go for a dead world.

Panel 6. Side-shot of Brainiac 5, as he authoritatively addresses their concerns. Shadow Lass looks on, surprised.
BRAINIAC 5: The World of Dead Robots has been left as it is as a monument . . . a reminder of the consequences for taking technology for granted. But there are many things we still don’t know about it or the race who lived there.
BRAINIAC 5: Hidden among that “obsolete” technology could be items far more dangerous than we can imagine. That’s why you must check it out.
SHADOW LASS: You’re not coming?

Panel 7. Favoring Chem, who is clearly hung over and unable to focus. His condition is noticed by Violet, who says nothing.
BRAINIAC 5 (OP): I have . . . a more pressing obligation. But you five should be more than enough to handle anything that occurs.


Check out my new Power Club website!

The Semi-Great Gildersleeve - writing, super-heroes, and this 'n' that
Re: Second Chances (a preboot LSH fanfic
He Who Wanders #1015870 06/12/22 04:50 PM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,366
G
Legionnaire!
Offline
Legionnaire!
G
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,366
Loving this so far, Greg!


Interested in the Post-Zero Hour Reboot Legion? Check out:

The Reboot Legion Timeline

Fan Fiction: The Legion of Super-Heroes v4.1 (continuing the reboot from issue 126!) on LW or here (external)

Re: Second Chances (a preboot LSH fanfic
He Who Wanders #1015871 06/12/22 06:17 PM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
Not much between despair and ecstacy
OP Offline
Not much between despair and ecstacy
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
Thanks, GL.


Check out my new Power Club website!

The Semi-Great Gildersleeve - writing, super-heroes, and this 'n' that
Re: Second Chances (a preboot LSH fanfic
He Who Wanders #1015872 06/12/22 06:23 PM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
Not much between despair and ecstacy
OP Offline
Not much between despair and ecstacy
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
PAGE NINE
Panel 1. A Legion Cruiser (one of the classy Mike Grell-designed models) streaks through space. VOICES FROM INSIDE THE COMMAND CENTER.
SHADOW LASS: Brainiac 5 sure has been acting strange since some of us encountered that Pulsar Stargrave character.
SUN BOY: Brainy’s always acted strange, Shady.

Panel 2. INT. COMMAND CENTER. Sun Boy is at the helm, and Vi, Timber Wolf, Chem, and Shady occupy various stations at the circular console. Mid-conversation. Vi is expressing confusion that Brainy would send them, the weakest members.
SUN BOY: I think he just thought his mission was beneath him.
VIOLET: But why would he send us? We’re some of the weakest members?

Panel 3. Timber Wolf and Shady raise objections to their powers being described as “weak.”
TIMBER WOLF: Hey! I don’t consider myself “weak.”
SHADOW LASS: Nor do I!

Panel 4. Chem, bent over the navigation console, agrees with Violet as Sun Boy glances over his shoulder and makes a flip comment.
CHEMICAL KING: Well, we’re not exactly Superboy, Mon-El, or Wildfire-class.
SUN BOY: The dead comes back to life!

Panel 5. Another angle. Vi tells Chem that with his ability to control chemical reactions, he could be one of the most powerful Legionnaires. Chem, his back turned to her (but we can partially see his face) seems embarrassed or ashamed.
VIOLET: Chem, you could be one of our most powerful members. With your ability to control chemical reactions, you can do almost anything. It makes me wonder why you don’t show us what you can really do.
CHEMICAL KING: I . . .

Panel 6. Sun Boy pushes forward a thruster-type device and announces they are approaching the World of Dead Robots.
SUN BOY: Look alive, everyone! The World of Dead Robots is straight ahead.


PAGE 10
Panel 1. We return to the THIEF, who sits in the room where we saw him last, backlit by twilight from the hole he blasted in the wall. He holds a device that resembles a metronome or hand-held Geiger counter and aims it patiently at the vacant space before him.
THIEF (thot): Just a little longer now . . .

Panel 2. Favoring him. He watches with excitement as the mirror portal flashes back into existence.
THIEF (thot): THERE!
THIEF (thot): This frequency modulator almost has the pattern down. I can’t wait to—

Panel 3. Same angle. His expression turns to dismay as the portal blinks out of existence.
THIEF (thot): No! It disappeared too quickly.

Panel 4. He studies his device, his expression hardening into determination. Just a little longer . . .
THIEF (thot): The modulator almost has it. Just a little longer . . .

Panel 5. CUT TO: The five Legionnaires fly across the verdant hills we saw earlier, toward the abandoned city. It would be nice if could get a contrast between the beautiful natural life and the obviously dead, rusted-out structures that await them.
SHADOW LASS: This is the city where the five probes stopped sending signals?
SUN BOY: Correct!
VIOLET: It certainly is odd that they would all come from the same place.

PAGE 11
Panel 1. The Legionnaires fly between the hulking dead robots we saw earlier. They wonder how they are going to find the so-called intruder.
CHEMICAL KING: This place is amazing . . . and scary!
VIOLET: Scary because the dead robots may come back to life?
CHEMICAL KING: No . . . scary because they were taken for granted.
VIOLET: . . .

Panel 2. Timber Wolf lands on the rubble-strewn street and says leave it to him.
SHADOW LASS: How do we find this supposed intruder?
TIMBER WOLF: Leave that to me.

Panel 3. Close in. He sniffs as the others look on patiently . . .
TIMBER WOLF: The Zuunium rays that gave me my powers also give me attributes of a real wolf. They come and go, but right now, I have a wolf’s enhanced sense of smell.
SUN BOY: Did Timber Wolf say he smells?
SHADOW LASS: Shh!

Panel 4. . . . and then he points to the distant building with the hole in the wall clearly visible.
TIMBER WOLF: There is a scent . . . organic, human . . . in that direction!

Panel 5. CUT TO: The Thief. He’s excited as the mirror portal reappears.
THIEF (thot): According to the modulator, the portal should become stable just about . . .
THIEF: BINGO!

Panel 6. He looks around, startled, as a shadow crosses his face.
SUN BOY (OP): Strange place to host an ancient Earth game!

PAGE 12
Panel 1. Favoring the Thief as he spins around to see the five Legionnaires climbing through the hole in the wall. (In the dialogue here and below, the Thief says something to the effect of, “You won’t stop me from jumping through this time portal and righting centuries of wrongs!”
THIEF: LEGIONNAIRES!
SUN BOY: Oh, good! I was afraid we wouldn’t be recognized out here in the middle of nowhere.

Panel 2. The Thief produces the Science Police blaster and fires a shot.
THIEF: You won’t stop me! I’m going to jump through that time portal and right the wrongs of the past!
SFX: SKEW!

Panel 3. Timber Wolf acrobatically leaps out of the way of the ray blast, and Voilet shrinks.
TIMBER WOLF: Just our luck! Our intruder is armed!
VIOLET: But where did he get a Science Police blaster?

Panel 4. Close in on Shadow Lass as she gestures and releases darkness. Behind her, Chemical King raises his hands, preparing to release his powers.
SHADOW LASS: I suggest we ask him after we take him into custody! My darkness should blind him.
CHEMICAL KING (thot): Show them what I can do.

Panel 5. From behind the two Legionnaires as Shady’s darkness covers the Thief and most of the room. Chemical King fires a burst of his own power into darkness.
CHEMICAL KING (thot): Too slow!
SHADOW LASS: Chem! What are you doing? I have it under control.

Panel 6. The Thief reacts with delight as the darkness around him dissipates.
THIEF: The darkness . . . it’s going away!

PAGE 13
Panel 1. Seizing the moment, the Thief leaps into the mirror portal.
THIEF: This is my only chance!

Panel 2. The Legionnaires can only watch in confusion as the portal vanishes!
SUN BOY: The portal! It vanished!

Panel 3. Sun Boy lashes out at Chem for his mistake, and Shady is also angry and alarmed.
SUN BOY: What’s the big deal, Mister? You just let the intruder get away!
CHEMICAL KING: I—I—
SHADOW LASS: You canceled my shadow! I didn’t know you could do that.

Panel 4. Timber Wolf grabs Sun boy by the arm and tells him to back off.
TIMBER WOLF: Back off, Dirk! He made a mistake, that’s all.
SUN BOY: Legionnaires don’t make mistakes!

Panel 5. Violet returns to normal size and reminds everyone of the danger.
VIOLET: Everyone! We’ve got a bigger problem. The intruder said that what he jumped into was a time portal.
VIOLET: We have no idea where he went or what damage he might cause!


Check out my new Power Club website!

The Semi-Great Gildersleeve - writing, super-heroes, and this 'n' that
Re: Second Chances (a preboot LSH fanfic
He Who Wanders #1015891 06/13/22 12:15 PM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
Not much between despair and ecstacy
OP Offline
Not much between despair and ecstacy
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
PAGE 14
Panel 1. CUT TO: The Legion cruiser, which has landed on one of the verdant plains. It is now night. VOICES from inside the ship.
SUN BOY: . . . and with Brainy unavailable, we thought you might know what it is.
VOICE (“radio” balloon”): You flatter me, Sun Boy.

Panel 2. INT. Sun Boy is at one of the consoles, discussing the case with DREAM GIRL via a monitor. Her dialogue should be enclosed in a “radio” balloon throughout.
DREAM GIRL: But from what you’ve described, it sounds like an ancient Kynacian Portal—a fixed portal that always goes back to the same point in time. That means if you decide to follow the intruder, you don’t have to worry about getting lost. It will bring you right back here.

Panel 3. Close-up. Dream Girl relates the story.
DREAM GIRL: The trick is waiting for it to reappear long enough for you to enter it. The Kynacians created the portal to flash in and out of existence at regular intervals to prevent their enemies from following them.
DREAM GIRL: What the Kynacians didn’t realize was that their enemies could see the future.
SUN BOY (OP): Your people, Dream Girl?
DREAM GIRL: Yes. We thought the Kynacians were extinct due to a virus of their own making. What the portal is doing on the robot world is anybody’s guess.

Panel 4. From her POV, the other Legionnaires are gathered behind Sun Boy with Chem sulking in the background. Dream Girl signs off, pointedly saying she is going back to her vacation on Naltor.
DREAM GIRL (OP): Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go back to some much-needed r-and-r on my world, Naltor.
SUN BOY: Thanks, Dreamy.
TIMBER WOLF: Great! How do we figure out the portal’s interval?

Panel 5. Violet produces the “metronome” that the Thief dropped and says they can use it to access his logs and determine when the portal will reappear. The others look on with surprise.
VIOLET: With this! The intruder dropped it when we surprised him. It must be what he used to calculate the interval.

Panel 6. Sun Boy moves decisively towards the door but orders Chemical King to remain behind just in case there are more intruders.
SUN BOY: Then let’ go back to the portal location—except you, Chem. Stay with the cruiser just in case there are more intruders!

Panel 7. Chem pleads with him. He knows he’s being left behind because he screwed up. It won’t happen again.
CHEMICAL KING: I know you just want me out of the way, Dirk.
CHEMICAL KING: Please, let me come. It won’t happen again.

PAGE 15
Panel 1. The Five Legionnaires fly through the dark city of dead robots—the city looks even scarier at night. Chem is effusive in thanking Sun Boy for giving him another chance. Sun Boy’s radiance lights the path in these and the following panels.
CHEMICAL KING: Thank you, thank you for reconsidering, Sun Boy! I won’t let you down.
SUN BOY: *Sigh* Don’t worry about it.

Panel 2. Close-in. Shady asks Sun Boy why he relented. He replies that he once made a mistake on a mission and to leave it at that.
SHADOW LASS: You were within your rights as team leader to leave him behind. Why did you relent?
SUN BOY: Because once upon a time, I made a mistake on a mission. Let’s leave it at that.

Panel 3. Long-shot. The Legionnaires swoop down toward the hole in the wall of the building, Violet is checking the metronome device.
SHADOW LASS: Okay . . . but you’ve got me curious to check the archives when we get back to HQ.
SUN BOY: Violet?
VIOLET: According to this device, the portal should reappear—

Panel 4. From behind Violet and Sun Boy as they fly through the hole in the wall just as the portal reappears.
VIOLET: --NOW!
Panel 5. Large panel. Sun Boy flies into the panel and disappears up to his torso with the others close behind.
NO DIALOGUE

PAGE 16
Panel 1. They have landed in a wooded area at night as the portal flashes out of existence.
SUN BOY: Well, I wasn’t expecting this.
TIMBER WOLF: There goes the portal! I hope Nura was right about it.

Panel 2. Favoring Sun Boy as he looks around—they are clearly on Earth, his native planet, but when?
SUN BOY: This is Earth . . . but when?
SHADOW LASS: We need to get our bearings. I suggest a recon—

Panel 3. A ray blast from somewhere obliterates a tree next to where Sun Boy is standing.
SFX: SHRAAAK!
Panel 4. The Legionnaires look up on a hill where they see a dozen SOLDIERS bearing down on them, ordering them to surrender. (These soldiers are wearing the same uniform as Pvt. Essad from “Soljer’s Private War” in S/LSH 210, although there may be some variations for different units or sides.)
SOLDIER #1: STAY WHERE YOU ARE! You have entered a restricted area and are hereby ordered to surrender.
SUN BOY: Legionnaires --

PAGE 17
The Legionnaires launch into the soldiers, easily overpowering them. ARTIST: Use as many panels as needed to convey the following action and bits:
• Sun Boy uses his heat power to melt some of the soldiers’ rifle-like weapons in their hands. (He remarks that he’s careful not to burn their flesh.)

SUN BOY: --Alpha formation—NOW!

SUN BOY (thot): I can melt their weapons, but I have to be careful not to burn their flesh!

• Shadow Lass’s darkness covers several soldiers, causing them to fall back.
SOLDIER #2: What happened?! I can’t see!
SOLDIER #3: FALL BACK!

• Violet has shrunk to tiny size and leaps out of the way of a soldier’s boot as it nearly steps on her. The soldier is asking where did the other woman go?

SOLDIER #4: Where did the other woman go? She was here a moment ag—

• Violet shoots back up to normal size and kayos the soldier with a fist to the jaw.
VIOLET: I’m still here!
SOLDIER #4: AAK!

• Chemical King, with an overconfident smile, causes a soldier’s rifle to rust and disintegrate in the alarmed soldier’s hands.
CHEMICAL KING: By speeding up your gun’s decay process, I can cause it to fall apart in your hands!
SOLDIER #5: AAAA!

• Timber Wolf leaps over one soldier and, in the same motion, kicks another. He is thinking how hard Chem is trying.
TIMBER WOLF (thot): These goons are no match for us . . . but Chem sure is trying hard!

• Shady and Sun Boy stand back-to-back, firing off their powers in different directions.

SHADOW LASS: Should we be fighting these soldiers? Don’t we risk changing history?

SUN BOY: Nah, history can’t be changed. Besides, the uniforms tell me when we are . . . right in the middle of World War VI—200 years ago!


Check out my new Power Club website!

The Semi-Great Gildersleeve - writing, super-heroes, and this 'n' that
Re: Second Chances (a preboot LSH fanfic
He Who Wanders #1015896 06/13/22 05:38 PM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
Not much between despair and ecstacy
OP Offline
Not much between despair and ecstacy
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
PAGE 18
Panel 1. A SQUAD of soldiers in similar but slightly different uniforms (these can more closely resemble the uniform worm by Pvt. Essad in S/LSH 210) march toward the outskirts of METROPOLIS. This era of Metropolis is a bit less grand and advanced than the 30th-century version. It has already seen the ravages of war as some buildings appear to be burned-out ruins. The SERGEANT, at the head of the formation, announces to his men that this time they will not fail: They will burn Metropolis to the ground!
CAP: Elsewhere . . .
SGT: This time we won’t fail! We’ll burn Metropolis to the ground!

Panel 2. Close-in. The SOLDIER behind the Sergeant asks if they are really ordered to kill innocent civilians including women and children.
SOLDIER #6: What about the civilians, Sarge? Are we really going to . . . kill innocent men, women, and children?

Panel 3. The overbearing Sergeant growls in the Soldier’s face that they will do as ordered.
SGT: We will do what our orders dictate, Corporal! Do you have a problem with that?
SOLDIER #6: N-no, Sarge.

Panel 4. Favoring the Soldier as he timidly sinks back into line. The Sergeant is saying there are no innocents in war. But our attention is focused on the dark hills behind them and a glint of silver reflected in the moonlight.
SGT: Men and women will rise up against the new order. They will train their children to be soldiers. There are no second chances in war. Remember that.

PAGE 19
Panel 1. At the top of that hill, we find the Thief in sniper-like position, aiming a large, silver cannon-type weapon at the soldiers below. The duffle bag he was carrying is discarded and open nearby, indicating the cannon was inside it. The Thief is thinking, “Closer . . . closer . . .”
THIEF (thot): This is it . . . the pivotal moment in history. If I can stop the invasion, everything will be different.
THIEF (thot): Just have to wait until they are all within range . . .

Panel 2. The Thief cries out in horror as the cannon melts from Sun Boy’s heat ray!
SUN BOY (OP): Don’t know what that contraption of yours does . . . but it can’t do anything if it’s slag!
THIEF: NOOOO!

Panel 3. Favoring the Thief as the Legionnaires fly through the woods towards him. Timber Wolf is saying that he once again picked up the Thief’s scent (and perhaps jokes that the Thief should bathe more often!)
THIEF: Legionnaires! How did you find me?
TIMBER WOLF: I picked up your scent again. You really should take a bath!

Panel 4. The Thief pulls out his Science Police blaster . . .
THIEF: Do you know what you’ve done?! The lives that will be lost?

Panel 5. . . . but a small-sized Violet judo-kicks it out if his hand.
VIOLET: Were lost! This is history, remember?

Panel 6. Birdseye view: The five Legionnaires approach the Thief from different angles, surrounding him. There is nowhere for him to go.
SUN BOY: Give it up! There is nowhere to go.

PAGE 20
Panel 1. The Thief pulls from his coat a round object that resembles a large eight-ball with wires and gadgets sticking out of it. He announces that it is a fission grenade left over from the Dominion War. Timber Wolf, in background, exclaims that a fission grenade will destroy everything within a 10-mile radius.
THIEF: Stay back! This is a fission grenade! You may remember it from the last Dominion War!
TIMBER WOLF: Holy! That thing can destroy everything in a 10-mile radius! Are you nuts?

Panel 2. On the Legionnaires’ shocked expressions. Shadow Lass is looking over the hill, pointing to the soldiers below. Violet asks the Thief why he is doing this.
SHADOW LASS: Sun Boy! There is a unit of soldiers below. The grenade will take them out, as well.
VIOLET: But why are you doing this?

Panel 3. Close-in on the Thief as he relates his story. He wants to alter history by sparing Metropolis from being destroyed. Even though the city was eventually rebuilt, his own family was left destitute and many members were killed. He was raised to believe that if the war had gone the other way, things would have been better. Now they can be.
THIEF: My family lived in Metropolis during the war. Many of them were butchered by those so-called New Orderists!
THIEF: In time, the city was rebuilt . . . but my family was left destitute! Generations living in poverty and misery. But if the war had gone the other way, things would have been different. Now . . . they can be!

Panel 4. Sun Boy tries to keep the Thief’s attention by reiterating that history can’t be changed, but the Thief says that’s just a theory—and the Legion’s own history proves it. (Perhaps work in here how Superman became a better hero because of his membership in the Legion).
SUN BOY: History can’t be changed!
THIEF: That’s just a theory! Besides, your own history proves it wrong. Superboy grew up to be Superman, and he always said he became a better hero because of his time in the Legion.
SUN BOY: Well, that’s true, but—

Panel 5. Chemical King carefully raises his hands to use his power; he is observed by Timber Wolf.
THIEF (OP): And what about the Fatal Five and their time sorter? They altered history and destroyed the Legion until the timeline was set right!
CHEM (thot): Great! A villain who’s done his homework. Still . . . if I can stay out his sight just long enough . . .

Panel 6. Close-up of a troubled TW.
TIMBER WOLF (thot): What’s Chem up to? Should I stop this loony or my own teammate?

PAGE 21
Panel 1. The Thief catches sight of Chem and orders him back.
THIEF: You! Get back!

Panel 2. Shady takes advantage of the Thief’s distraction and sends a very small shadow to surround the Thief’s head just as the thief activates the bomb with his thumb. She yells, “Chem, now!”
SHADOW LASS: Chem! NOW!
SFX: klak!

Panel 3. Chem releases a bolt of energy at the grenade which he announces will slow down its detonation.
CHEMICAL KING: I’m slowing down the fission process—delaying its detonation!

Panel 4. Timber Wolf leaps over the Thief, grabbing the grenade in the process.
TIMBER WOLF: Then it’s my turn!

Panel 5. Timber Wolf tosses the grenade into the sky.
NO DIALOGUE

PAGE 22
Panel 1. Large panel. The grenade explodes in the sky, turning night into day!
SFX: KABAAAAAAMMMMMM!

Panel 2. The soldiers advancing on Metropolis drop to the ground at the sight of the explosion.
SGT: HIT THE DIRT!

Panel 3. The Soldier raises up and studies the sky, which has now reverted to night. Sarge yells it must be some new weapon the enemy is throwing at them—all the more reason why they have to continue with their mission.
SOLDIER #6: What was that?
SGT: The enemy must have some kind of new weapon! All the more reason to complete our mission!

Panel 4. Sun Boy and Shadow Lass watch from the hill. Shadow Lass is saying it’s a shame they really can’t interfere with history, whether it’s a theory or not—they could save a lot of lives. Sun Boy agrees but says he’d rather live in the future than the past.
SHADOW LASS: It’s a shame we can’t interfere with history, theory or not. We could save a lot of lives.
SUN BOY: Maybe. But, unlike our friend here, I’d rather live in the future than the past.

Panel 5. Wide shot as the Legionnaires make their way back through the woods. Timber Wolf is carrying the unconscious Thief over his shoulder. Taking up the rear (and close to us), Violet compliments Chemical King on his quick thinking. Chem thanks her but says there is something he needs to tell everyone once they get back to HQ.
VIOLET: That was quick thinking, Chemical King.
CHEMICAL KING: Thanks, Violet.
CHEMICAL KING: . . .
VIOLET: What is it?
CHEMICAL KING: When we get back to HQ, there’s something I have to tell everyone.

THE END


Check out my new Power Club website!

The Semi-Great Gildersleeve - writing, super-heroes, and this 'n' that
Re: Second Chances (a preboot LSH fanfic
He Who Wanders #1015897 06/13/22 05:47 PM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141
Not much between despair and ecstacy
OP Offline
Not much between despair and ecstacy
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 24,141


Check out my new Power Club website!

The Semi-Great Gildersleeve - writing, super-heroes, and this 'n' that

Link Copied to Clipboard
ShoutChat
Forum Statistics
Forums14
Topics21,075
Posts1,050,719
Legionnaires1,731
Most Online53,886
Jan 7th, 2024
Newest Legionnaires
Boy Kid Lad, Anonymous Girl, Mimi, max kord, Duke
1,731 Registered Legionnaires
Today's Birthdays
There are no members with birthdays on this day.
Random Holo-Vids
Who's Who in the LMBP
Legolas
Legolas
on the lam!
Posts: 92
Joined: September 2004
ShanghallaLegion of Super-Heroes & all related proper names & images are ™ & © material of DC Comics, Inc. & are used herein without its permission.
This site is intended solely to celebrate & publicize these characters & their creators.
No commercial benefit, nor any use beyond the “fair use” review & commentary provisions of United States copyright law, is either intended or implied.
Posts made on this message board must not be reproduced without the author's consent.
The Legion World Star
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5