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Bad jokes
by Klar Ken T5477 - 05/28/25 04:37 PM
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 237
Reservist
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Reservist
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 237 |
428. Because I was heroic over the course of many lifetimes, and must even out the karmic balance by being completely evil.
I LIKE IKE!!
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872
Tempus Fugitive
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Tempus Fugitive
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872 |
428. Because I was heroic over the course of many lifetimes, and must even out the karmic balance by being completely evil. From the pages of Impossible Inc... 429. I made it a new year's resolution to be a hero. So it lasted all of five minutes like everyone else's resolutions.
"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,872
Fighting Back
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Fighting Back
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,872 |
Still "Fickles" to my friends.
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872
Tempus Fugitive
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Tempus Fugitive
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872 |
430. Heroes, bah! They're nothing but apologists for the status quo. And by status quo, of course, I mean crappy guitar bands who should've called it a day long ago. Rock THIS all over the world, you ______!  I can't believe What You're Proposing. It's like you're Down Down on hearing the Quo Again and Again. I could go Running All Over The World to find a chart expert to show their success. But we've got The Wanderer right here on LW already.  431. My symbiotic costume was supposed to be my foe. And it is. But it wanted to be the good guy.
"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 9,092
Long live the Legion!
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Long live the Legion!
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 9,092 |
432. I got bit by a radioactive spider, and all I got was a numb arm and a perpetual drool!
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 12,889
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 12,889 |
433. I lost my secret decoder ring when I was helpin' birthin' that space calf! *horchpetooiee
Damn you, you kids! Get off my lawn or I'm callin' tha cops!
Something pithy!
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 86,150
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 86,150 |
434. They said I was too obsessive. But gee, I thought that was a REQUIREMENT for being a hero! Just look at Batman, or the Punisher...
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 12,889
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 12,889 |
435. Yes, mah pimp han' is strowng! Cuz I'ma pimp. Kinda kills tha hero thang, don't it Claudine?!
Damn you, you kids! Get off my lawn or I'm callin' tha cops!
Something pithy!
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 9,666
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 9,666 |
436. I auditioned like everyone else... then that mean Simon started laughing at me.. and he was very mean... and I may have accidentally killed them all... but you understand, right?
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 12,889
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 12,889 |
437. I kept "ZAAAKKKKK"ing off too quickly! -Premature Lazer Man
Damn you, you kids! Get off my lawn or I'm callin' tha cops!
Something pithy!
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675
Gen X > Space X
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Gen X > Space X
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675 |
438. Athlete's Foot (though Superhero Foot would've been okay... if I only knew what that was)
Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on ipernity! Drop by and tell me that I sent you. *updated often!*
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 86,150
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 86,150 |
439. I kept procrastinating the whole fighting crime bit. I mean, it's not my fault I can't get out of bed before 8am... I'm not a morning person!
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675
Gen X > Space X
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Gen X > Space X
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675 |
(I was still honoring 420 well after) 440. ... if you get my drift. 
Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on ipernity! Drop by and tell me that I sent you. *updated often!*
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872
Tempus Fugitive
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Tempus Fugitive
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872 |
441. … because my future self came back in time to show me the futility of my crime fighting career.
"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 86,150
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 86,150 |
442. I kept crushing the hands of people asking me for handshakes... stupid super strength...
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675
Gen X > Space X
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Gen X > Space X
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 25,675 |
443. Slipped one mash-thought too many into J'onn J'onzz's mind while he was trying to chair the weekly meetings.
Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on ipernity! Drop by and tell me that I sent you. *updated often!*
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 86,150
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 86,150 |
444. I kept tripping on my fabulously long cape.
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 12,889
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 12,889 |
445. I provided the raw building materials for dozens of houses for the poor, but when they found out my power was to **** bricks.... well....
Damn you, you kids! Get off my lawn or I'm callin' tha cops!
Something pithy!
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 2,129
Leader
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Leader
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 2,129 |
445½. With little power comes little responsibility.
Last edited by Klar Ken T5477; 06/08/19 08:10 AM.
“Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.” - Cicero
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 86,150
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 86,150 |
446. Turns out, having the power to spread STDs by having sex with villains is a power that, well, everyone in the world has... dang...
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872
Tempus Fugitive
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Tempus Fugitive
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872 |
448. We were so amped before our first time travel trip! We couldn't wait to see our bright shining future. Except that we really do wipe ourselves out over climate change. There didn't seem to be much point after that.
"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 86,150
Unseen, not unheard
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Unseen, not unheard
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 86,150 |
447. I broke the laws of mathematics repeatedly.
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 9,092
Long live the Legion!
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Long live the Legion!
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 9,092 |
448. My amazing powers come from my symbiotic alien costume, which is, embarassingly, not comfortable with crowds and oozes away to hide and leaves me powerless (and naked!) whenever a bunch of people are around...
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 9,666
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 9,666 |
449. Stan Lee cast me as a villain
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 9,092
Long live the Legion!
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Long live the Legion!
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 9,092 |
450. I was drawn by Rob Liefield. Between the massive hyperthyroid pectoral muscles, the hundreds of tiny pouches everywhere, and the teensy ballerina-like feet, I kept toppling over. *sob* <choke>
451. I was excited to be on the cover, finally! But it turned out to be one of those 'One of these heroes dies!' covers, and the other people were more popular...
Last edited by Set; 06/11/19 12:39 AM.
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