Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Why I couldn't be the hero...

319. I kept sarcastically replying to people asking for help.

"Oh, your cat is stuck in a tree? Oh that poor thing, everyone KNOWS cats can't climb! Why, some super villain must have put her up there!"

320. Sprained ankle.

321. I refuse to wear a face mask... I refuse to deprive the public of my stunning good looks!

322. Got a nose job, and now my protective visor/face mask won't stay up in battle!

333. I just paid for these sunglasses! I can't afford to have these broken at 200 a pop, without the prescription!

334. In my new identity as Anarchy April, I doubt I'm gonna' get along with our funders at the Stark and Wayne Foundations.

335. I kept hogging the blankets. Don't believe the scout boys and girls when they say they're just gonna borrow them to put out the campfires...

336. Kept playing the legendary "Hot Pockets" monologue over and over in the break room at lunchtime.

337. Cause there's nothing going on but the rent...

337. Spent the entire time I was with the team trying to prove if buttered toast will fall butter side up or down. The data entry tied up the mainframe cutting off the crime alerts.

338. Used the database of villain victims to try to find a date...

339. Kept changing our battlecry to incorporate the latest word on my word-of-the-day calender. - Calender Man

Edit:
340. Also, am a villain, and showed up to the wrong thread clubhouse.

341. I drank too much wine and fell flat on my face while flying

342. I put tinfoil in the microwave and turned it on for five minutes.

656. Just when everyone was getting used to the current continuity, I reset to a legacy number version ... again.

657. Instead of teaming up with my alternate selves to fight crime, or fighting them to the death, I invited them over for Netflix and Chill. My boyfriend at least, was very happy.

658. My fan art of Ibby's new multiverse polycule made me so much in commissions that I didn't have to work away from home anymore.

659. I expanded our polycule by finding two alternate selves of my boyfriend. We pretty much never leave the house at this point

660. My other major commercial venture: hiring those artisans who do dollhouse-scaled cooking videos on YouTube to come to work as professional chefs on Imsk, has also been very successful. In fact, I hired away several other heroes looking for career change to help me keep up with paperwork, Customs, transport, and the like.

661. I refused to use translation technology to speak to the public on missions. Turns out the Tagalog word for "run this way!" sounds terribly like the Interlac pronunciation for "make yourself a bigger target"...

662. All the good battle cries were already copyrighted by someone else.

663. I kept slacking off during training.

664. Garlic breath.

665. I just got my nails done.

666. SATAN!!!!