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by Invisible Brainiac - 04/05/25 03:07 AM
Inane one word posts XXXIV - inanity
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Legionnaire Mastermind
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Wheel of Fortune / Hangman Season 3
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Kill This Thread XVII - Retirement Age
by Invisible Brainiac - 04/04/25 01:40 AM
So, what are you listening to?
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#798271 01/06/14 06:10 PM
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Given the mass firings today, we have numerous vacancies to be filled.

Please post what position you desire, and what your qualifications are.


The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,078
Wanderer
Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,078
La-Z-Boy Evaluator

I have been involved with the recliner-rocker industry for over 90% of my human life-span. I have experience with both individual and occasionally, uh, team testing. I am available 24-7.

Salary Requirements

Will work for snacks and big screen TV. I work from home so per-diem and travel allowances are not necessary.


References


Archie Bunker
Martin Crane
Joey and Chandler

Joined: Oct 2003
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Position Desired: Legion World Dictator

Qualifications: Bratty boyfriend

Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461
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BB is hired.

Ibby is offered a probationary appointment as DMV clerk.



The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,078
Wanderer
Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,078
On the job at this very moment!

Joined: Oct 2003
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I have my feet up on the desk and I'm being terribly rude. Am I doing alright?

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Time Trapper
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it's a start.


The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
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I love the management here. Prompt and concise feedback.

Of course, it's concise because you're a lazy bigwig.

(How is my rudeness now? Getting better?)

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 10,929
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Originally Posted by Invisible Brainiac
Position Desired: Legion World Dictator

Qualifications: Bratty boyfriend


That position is filled.


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Oh yeah, and when was the last time the current dictator issued an order?

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[Linked Image]

Last edited by Power Boy; 01/13/14 07:26 AM.
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No thanks, I prefer standing up.

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Originally Posted by Invisible Brainiac
No thanks, I prefer standing up.


Then you are fired. Again.


The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872
Tempus Fugitive
Tempus Fugitive
Joined: Sep 2013
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Palace/ HQ Guard

Good for all those menial chores that no self respecting dictator, or their esteemed entourage, would wish to dirty their hands with.

Previous responsibilities

- Laughing along with the maniacal laughter of those-in-charge.
- Placing those who oppose the just hand of those-in-charge into escape-proof traps...but with a mind to the issue's cliffhanger.
- Throwing people to the floor in front of the throne/ banquet table.
- Owning a number of easy to draw guard outfits to suit all crowd scenes.
- Letting Jedi into the palace for no particular reason.

Salary
Banquet left overs and whatever those who have been vanquished by those-in-charge have left behind on their persons.

References
Ming
Jabba
Caligula





"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
Joined: Oct 2003
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Originally Posted by Kent Shakespeare
Originally Posted by Invisible Brainiac
No thanks, I prefer standing up.


Then you are fired. Again.


Drat. Maybe I wouldn't have been fired if I hadn't said "thanks".

Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 29,461
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thothkins is hired.


The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
Joined: Oct 2003
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Travel Guide

Able to plan and organize royal dictatorial official vacations for Legion World officials and leadership and LMB members.

Desired Salary

Free transportation, room & board, food

Skills

Take flattering photographs

Able to eat almost anything

Locate best places to get drunk

Punch Nicely convince paparazzi not to take incriminating photographs of clients

Negotiate travel discounts and free deals

Sleep on any form of transportation

Carry 200lbs of luggage

Encyclopedic knowledge of tourist spots

Strong sense of adventure

Immunity to bacteria, fungi and viruses

References

Amelia Earhart
Aron Ralston
Robert Falcon Scott

Last edited by Invisible Brainiac; 01/14/14 08:25 PM.
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Posts: 29,461
Time Trapper
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I'm not sure, Ibby.

We will start you as an unpaid intern. You must prove your worth by going to and reviewing three places chosen by the HR Committee. All expenses incurred are entirely your own; we provide no compensation.

Your three places are:

Somalia
Fukushima
Cleveland

after you complete these, we may consider an entry-level position for you, depending on how well you do.


The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,095
Legionnaire!
Legionnaire!
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by Invisible Brainiac
Position Desired: Legion World Dictator

Qualifications: Bratty boyfriend


You may do whatever you wish to Legion World. I am already Princess of the Earth.

Position Desired: Team Archer

Qualifications: Mad Scientist's Beautiful Daughter
Consistently Retconned
Insanely Rich Family


Go with the good and you'll be like them; go with the evil and you'll be worse than them.- Portuguese Proverb
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,862
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Originally Posted by Emily Sivana
Originally Posted by Invisible Brainiac
Position Desired: Legion World Dictator

Qualifications: Bratty boyfriend


You may do whatever you wish to Legion World. I am already Princess of the Earth.



I like your style, Emily!

Ever consider an Earth and Legion World alliance?

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,862
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Originally Posted by Kent Shakespeare
I'm not sure, Ibby.

We will start you as an unpaid intern. You must prove your worth by going to and reviewing three places chosen by the HR Committee. All expenses incurred are entirely your own; we provide no compensation.

Your three places are:

Somalia
Fukushima
Cleveland

after you complete these, we may consider an entry-level position for you, depending on how well you do.


No compensation?! The things I do for work. Luckily, since I can turn myself into light I incur no expenses whatsoever!

Backpacking Heroes! Spotlight on Somalia

Warning: excepts for the island of stability that is the semi-autonomous Somaliland, Somalia is for all purposes a warzone. Travel WITHOUT at least 2 LMB-selected guards is NOT RECOMMENDED unless you are an LMBer with Security Clearance of at least Level 4.

Recommended Destinations for Sightseers

1) The Zeila Coast

Close to the Djibouti border, Zeila is an ancient city that was once a center of Islam for the region. Today, visitors can see ruins from the Muslim Sultanate of Adal, and enjoy coral reefs, mangroves and quiet islands.

2) Hargeisa

Located in relatively stable Somaliland, visitors to Hargeisa will be pleased to be provided free security by the government. Visitors can appreciate history via the rock art in the Laas Gaal complex of caves, look for wildlife such as gazelles and wildebeest in the Shiekh and Daalo mountains, and take a refreshing dip in the Red Sea.

3) Gedo

Located in the heart of Southern Somalia, the lucky traveler will feel like he or she is a world away from the fighting and violence in the rest of the country. Rocky mountains, green forests, flood plains and large grazing land are spread out as far as the eye can see. Oryx, giraffes and ostriches are just some of the animals you can see in their natural habitat.


Recommended Destinations for Adrenaline Seekers and Trainee LMBers

1) Mogadishu

One of the most dangerous cities in the world, and perfect for those wanting to improve their urban survival skills. Although the government has managed to gradually assert authority and some semblance of order, bullets and rubble are still occasionally present. Perfect for those who want to build up their alertness.

2) Kismayo

In the very south of the country, Kismayo is a port city with dangerous wildlife and even more dangerous humans. Journalists have been detained without charges and set free only after a few days. An escape artist's dream, Kismayo will definitely test your skills.




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Emily is hired as Official Archer.


The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
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Ibby's report thus far seems cribbed from Wikipedia or a similar source. I get no sense he was actually there.

FIRED!


The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872
Tempus Fugitive
Tempus Fugitive
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 31,872
Oh dear. Fired. Allow me to extend my hopes for your future as I escort you from the palace in my guard capacity...

BOOT!


"...not having to believe in a thing to be interested in it and not having to explain a thing to appreciate the wonder of it."
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 85,862
Unseen, not unheard
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Originally Posted by Kent Shakespeare
Ibby's report thus far seems cribbed from Wikipedia or a similar source. I get no sense he was actually there.

FIRED!


You can't fire me! I was never even hired in the first place!

And I'd send you pics but I'm invisible in all of them.

Last edited by Invisible Brainiac; 01/19/14 03:20 AM.
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