Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Every 10 Years Forum LMB Infinite Crisis Tie In: Gay Of Vengence

Mwahahahahahah!!!!! (and all that evil genius laughing stuff. You know the drill. I can't be bothered wasting time with it, but you know what to expect. Histrionics, evil laughter, dramatic lighting, you know the kind of thing).

Anyway, yes, mwahahahaha and so on, I just get more and more evil, I really do. Sometimes I swear i'm so evil I could just eat myself. Although obviously that would leave an awful mess and would, ultimately, be fairly fruitless. So, why am I so evil I hear you cry? I would if I were listening but what with being evil and stuff I'm also terribly rude and don't listen to those I am due to squish like something you squish easily. A grape possibly. Or a small child's ice-cream. Something else else soft and squishy, I'm sure you know the kind of thing. If you don't why not try some experiments at home? Bricks and large trees aren't so good, nor are cats (they scratch) or big burly men (unless, you know, in special situations). Why not write to your local paper about what squishes well? They probably won't give a toss but just the thought that they might to could bring some meaning to your feeble little lives. Or at least, some meaning before I squish you like a small squishable thing (see above).

Oh yeah, so, the evil thing. Well, do you see my lovely new outfit? Notice the purple and silver and black and the interesting use of ribbing and fur and feathers around the neck line. See the fabulous boots with big heels and the sexy silver gauntlets. Snazzy, n'est pas? Also kidly note the interesting juxtaposition of deathly pale skin and black design on my rather gorgeous face. It all begins to add up doesn't it?

Yes, once I was Glamour Puss. I was a minor supporting character that for no real reason was evil and muderous and just when you thought I'd gone for good I returned. And when i did I suddenly and inexplicably got new super duper powers (on top of my other super duper powers of course). I am now imbued with the power of the Black Diamonds! I am Eclipso! (because I can't think of an amusing pun on the name. Calypso just didn't seem right).

So, yeah, Eclipso. And you know what that means don't you? Oh yes, now I have randomly decided that will rid the world of all magic and to do that i have enlisted the help of the LMBP Spectre!

But why would the LMBP Spectre help, I hear you ask (see above as to the whole not listening thing)? Well, obviously it is because.... actually I'm not quite sure myself to be honest. I know, I know, it's completely out of character for him and he's meant to be super intelligent and should be able to see through my schemeing and besides my scheme doesn't really make any sense because, you know, magic based powers myself and all and if I destroy magic then I destroy myself but....

eh, who cares. The LMBP Spectre is with me, I'm going to destroy magic and by golly it'll be fun.

Now where to start? Now I don't think I can defeat Crusader on his own but maybe if the LMBP Spectre turns him into a bucket of water and his sister into gerbil then it might be a start....

*VFAWMMMP*

[Crusader and Spellbinder suddenyl find themselves transformed, although there may be a delayed reaction before they notice]

Now, where to next? Anyone evil around here who'd like to give me a list of the LMBP magic users so I can get on with my completely irrational plan?

I think you are mistaking us for the Wonder Twins, Pussy Cakes (hmmm... that just doesn't sound right)

Luckily (luckily?) my brother and I are still stuck on that asteroid out in the middle of nowhere, looking at the spot where the Monitor's ship just blew up and wondering when Cobie Cakes or Vee or EDE or SOMEBODY is going to help that poor limping plotline up onto its feet again so that we can wrap this puppy up before DC's Infitine Crisis is over

Anyhoo, my point is, due to the time/space fluxuations, your little whammy has gone astray, and somewhere out there, two pesky little hoodlums are wondering why they have just been transformed.

Hugs and Kisses,
Crujectra and Crusader, Royal Twins of Psyonia

OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!!

I will restore order to LEGION WORLD no matter the cost. The LMB must be saved.

<Teleports in the massive "MOTHER OF ALL DEFABOOLIZERS" from the SUDL.

Tamper quickly sets the bomb for a quick detonation cycle.>

Soon peace and order will be restored. Yes there will be pieces to pick up... but the world will thank me for this...

10...9...8...7...6...5

OhMiGawd... Tamper's lost it. He's set the bomb to revert Legion world to 1957 levels of fabulosity...

4...3...

Nova, I'm so happy you're here... If anything happens after Legion World reboots. I always did have a thing for..

Yes Tamper sweetie...

The way the morning sun makes me glow a verdant green.

2...1...

<The Defaboolizer weapon detonates and suddenly Legion World is rebooted to 1957 levels of fabulosity.>

The world fades in a flash of white light and when the world re-appears....

Men have crewcuts and wear white shirts and solid coloured ties. When seen on the street they wear fedoras and ugly ill-fitting suits bought at Sears or the local five and dime.

Women have long hair knee length skirts ugly blouses and very stiff looking hats.

Outside the untamed streets of Legion World are tamed. A large pink Cadillac prominent tailfins protruding zips filling the street with the smell of un-burned gasoline.

Tamper dear, it's almost six, shouldn't you be getting ready, we have a date for high tea in the Empress Room of the LMBP Inverted Rocket Ship....

Come on let's go, it'll be swell.

And yet, and yet...

See, now I am Eclipso (subject to change if I think of a better name) and am in league with the completely out of character LMBP Spectre I am immune to your little ploy with your wacky machines and their zany side effects. I'm not just someone who is fabulous, I am fabulosity itself. And what's more I am evil and insane fabulosity so I'm even better than you are since you're just a bog stanard evil genius and your ploys don't even work properly apart from getting your allies killed and making a horrible mess of the place where you live while I still carry on and destroy the LMB. So nyer nyer nyer.

La la la, I am so goooood (in an evil way or course).

Now, if the whammy on the Cru twins went awry and they're still on that asteroid then I shall just hav to look somewhere else for a victim. Hmm, where's IB at these days? I'm sure I was supposed to be killing him in this reality as well...

Gosh Nova, why does that man look so strange. He doesn't even look like he'd enjoy football for some reason.

Anyways let's go, we're late for tea. Or maybe we should go to the soda fountain for a malted. By the way does Throbbing Boy still have my Byng Crosby records and my Adventure 247?

You're right TL. He doesn't look right. I think he could be a Red Agent. We should call Cobie's G-men when we get to a payphone. But yeah a soda would be cool.

Throbbing boy had an accident with your comic though. You need talk to him but please TL, don't be a square about it.

'Kay, but I thought for a second that that Adventure might be worth something someday.

Nova, have you finished your civil defense shlter yet? Those Reds might be trying to start something. I wouldn't want to lose you because you didn't know how to drop and cover when the bomb came.

And Nova don't use the word cool like that. That new-fangled language is just a communist ploy to destroy our society.

*interlude*

Funniest thread title in ages

*end interlude*

* in a puff of sulfurous vapours Dedman appears *

hey guys what's happeni......nnnggggggggggg....

*** Historical Sidenote ***

The 50's were NOT a good time to be undead

*** End Historical Sidenote ***

.......Brains....BBRRRAAAAIIIIINNNSSSSSS........

Supersonic... check out the zombie. Don't worry the effect doesn't seem to be permanent. The office of security has already changed back from being a yellow rocket ship.

Though it seems to be really lasting a long time with Nova.

Now we have to stop Glamour Puss/Eclipso. Fortunatly I have a plan.

You? A Plan? Pshaw! Pish and piffle I say.

Let's look at your 'plans' so far shall we? You got two ladies killed, you set Legion World back to the 1950s and you've not even begun to annoy me yet. I'm still tempted to turn you into a woman though, just for a laugh. In fact...

FZZZWAAApPPPP!!!!

There. A delayed action spell. At some point you may or may not turn into a woman. You will just have to be in suspense about whether it's going to happen or not.

Now, I'm off to try and find Stu. He's got magic based powers. I might try turning him into something amusing too. Come along LMBP Spectre sweetie, we have work to do.

<The LMBP Spectre follows Glamour Puss silently, allowing the new Eclipso to believe what he wants concerning his hold on her. The Spirit of Vengeance's motivations towards the altnerate Earth Lucien Lad remain her own>

Well this can't be good. Why would a hottie (deceased as she may be) like the LMBP Spectre want to hang out with Glamour Puss.

Well she's hardly likely to want to hang out with *you*, now is she? I mean, really, given the choice would anyone choose you? Unless they had really low self esteem and needed someone to look down on of course.

Hmm. My new Eclipso powers seem to give me the ability the hear what the LMBp Spectre is thinking. I suspect she may try and betray me at some point and subvert my mission, illogical as my mission may be.

Hmmm again. OK, I'll carry on as if all were normal then. If she's got some ulterior motive then... ach, like i care. I'm not really ne for planning. I take things as they come and go with the flow.

Now, where is Stu? I was going to chnage him into a small animal but that seems to be his default setting most of the time so that won't do. I'll have to think of something else instead.

Perhaps a large animal instead? A Sturaffe or a Sturasaurus?

Or STUChiaElephant?

No, because a large animal might squish... oh, actually that might not be a bad idea.

Although since, you know, your my enemies and stuff I probably shouldn't be taking advice from you guys. Now hold still Spellbinder while I turn you into a large pair of melons.

Or have I already done that?

mmmmmm Melons

I was told you guys needed some help with clean- up? What should I bring. Are we talking softball- sized melons, cantalopes or watermelons here?

Personally, I don't know how the Princess does it. If it were me my lower back would've given out years ago.

Actually, Puss dear, I believe Mother Nature beat you to it