One thing I've learned is that Life is seldom dull.
And sometimes, I think the purpose of Life is to see simply how absurd things can get.
Somehow, you just know it's going to be a bad day when you walk in the vet's office on a Friday morning and put a couple of items on the counter, waiting for someone to come from the back to wait on you - then when one of the assistants rounds the corner and sees you and what you want to purchase, he just doubles over.
welllll ......... let me back up a minute.
Thanksgiving morning, I woke up in plenty of time. I hadn't been to bed, as I started watching television on Wednesday night and just sorta crashed. When I woke up, it was about 7:00 Thursday morning. So I got up, fussed at the dogs for not waking me up earlier, and booted them outside. While they were outside, I started getting things in order and managed to get food in their bowls. I called 'em both back in and wished them a happy Thanksgiving. They dove in the food, and I padded off for a shower.
After the shower, I got dressed and got myself about as presentable as I get. I went through a mental checklist, grabbed the Christmas turkey from the freezer, and Wes, Shadow and I (and the turkey) got loaded up in the truck. It was about 8:15-8:30, so we were doin' WONDERFUL on time.
We got out to the country about 9:40 (we cruised most of the way between 60 and 65 miles an hour ... so we didn't rush things AT ALL). When I stopped, I had to lean over and get the turkey out of the floorboard, MUCH to Wes' dismay. I should have just gotten out of the way to let him outside. After all, he's king. (He's king with really BAD breath!!!) So after I got situated (deliberately taking a few seconds longer than I needed), I slowly eased out of the truck. Wes and Shadow bounded out of the truck and did a cursory examination of the property around the house, while I walked in the garage and put the turkey in the freezer. I decided I'd check things in the house to make sure it was semi-presentable. It was.
Anyway, I had just made the grand tour of the house and was back in the kitchen when I heard Shadow bark. I was worried because I didn't hear anyone drive up, so I ran out of the kitchen, threw open the back door, and damned near died. I gagged, choked and wheezed. When I was able to orient myself, I looked out and saw Wes and Shadow, running around the yard, with their heads turned sideways in the grass, trying to rub it off. I can't believe they did it to me again. After I was able to catch my breath, I managed to round the two up and get them in the garage. YECHT!!!!!
I left the two in there as I head to the church. We had a nice service. It usually starts at 10:30, but with a new preacher, things were a little different this year. He started at 11:00, but managed to have us out by 11:45, so I can't complain. Everyone met behind the church in what they call the "tabernacle." Lunch was just a HUGE pot-luck meal, with TONS of dressing. Let me tell ya ... those little old country ladies can cook like nobody's business!!!!! And they even had REAL cranberry sauce!
In the middle of the meal, David, my brother, turned to me and said, "So did you hit a skunk on the way up here or what? Your truck STINKS!!" I had to tell him that it was more the other way around - I think the skunk hit me instead of me hitting the skunk.
When we got back to the house, I opened the door and let Wes and Shadow out - in hopes of airing both them and the garage out. Whuff ... it was BAD!!!! For some reason, everybody just sorta ran through the garage and in the house, slamming the door after they got in.
We watched a little football. We cut up a LOT. Uncle Carroll showed up. He's teased me about the house, telling me that I'm late on my Homeowner Association dues. So when he was there, I told him I'd gladly pay the dues and all the back penalties on them if he'd just do the right thing and rid the area of the skunks. He looked at me and asked if I had a gun. I informed him that of COURSE I had a gun. Then he got smart and asked if I had bullets. I grinned and nodded my head. He looked at me and said, "Then crawl under the house and shoot it. You'll be rid of it then. I *COULD* take care of the problem, but we want you to be more self sufficient. You just complain about too much stuff while you're out here."
I love Uncle Carroll to death. So I lovingly stuck my tongue out at him. In turn, he looked at Grandmother (his sister), and said, "Do you see how I'm treated?"
Later that afternoon, David and I (and the two stinkers of mine) were out in the yard, and Shadow started barking about the time I saw this HUGE thing start waddling across the yard. I yelled at Wes and Shadow to come to me. Wes started running like his life depended on it ... I guess he heard the urgency in my voice. Shadow, on the other hand, stayed under the truck, hackles raised, doing her best to look at both me and the skunk. She refused to leave her place, and I was worried about her going after the skunk. Now, this scared the bejabbers out of me - aside from the normal concerns of tangling with a skunk (the smell, gettin' torn up, etc.) I was worried because the beastie was out in the middle of the afternoon, in broad daylight. So I cheated with Shadow. I crouched down across the yard, holdin' Wes' collar, and called her. When she sees me crouched down, it's an open invitation for her to come to me, and she knows it. So I yelled at David to go for it while Shadow was running towards me.
By the time Shadow was safely out of harm's way, the skunk decided to take a detour in the garage. David was standing at the front of the house, rifle aimed at the corner of the house/garage. He yelled at me to tell him when the skunk came out. "What?? You're the one with the scope!! You should see it before me!!" So after meandering around in the garage for a few minutes, the skunk came out and parked itself out at the corner of the garage, right where David was aiming. David took aim, inhaled, and squeezed the trigger.
Personally, I was thinking that something more spectacular would have happened. But the skunk just stood there, sniffing for another minute. Then it turned around and waddled back in the garage for about 30 seconds, then waddled towards the front of the house, where David was. I don't remember when I've seen something as funny as David tryin' to run with that rifle. That was ALMOST worth it. ;-) The skunk got about halfway and scurried under the house. I was nice enough to yell at David that he could stop. He was nearly to the dirt road. David and I regrouped and looked at the area where he shot. Yup, he missed it. Shot over its head. The bullet skimmed the ground, bounce back up and penetrated the metal frame of my swing. (I guess that explains why it started swinging when David fired, huh?) I asked what happened, and David said he had the scope set for 100 yards, not 20. *sigh* So I went to the other side of the house and started banging around, trying to scare the skunk back out, but it was of no use. The skunk was back in the "comfort zone" and wasn't moving.
I was still laughing when David put the rifle up. He looked at me and said, "I've still got a bullet. You wanna keep laughing?"
"You want me to run down the dirt road a bit? That way maybe you'd stand a chance?" He only grumbled, and I continued to laugh.
My biggest concern was rabies. Or something else. Generally skunks DO NOT come out while the sun is blazing high in the sky. But I've had both of the kids vaccinated, and they just received a parvo booster - Wes three weeks ago, Shadow two. So they're up to date. They received all their other shots in April.
Now don't get me wrong, the kids stunk. But not NEARLY as badly as they did the FIRST time they tangled with a skunk. I couldn't let them ride in the back of the truck for fear Shadow would take a notion to jump out. So they rode inside with me, and my window was down. AND they spent Thursday night outside.
Friday morning, I got up late (7:30?) and ran by Lowes to pick up a miter saw for David. Then I darted to Home Depot for a ladder. The ladders sold out as soon as they opened, so I missed out on them. I ran by Circuit City, and THAT was just a madhouse. I spent probably three minutes in there before I decided I'd had enough. I then went to Target to look for a replacement razor. I found one, but decided to hold off for a bit. I didn't feel like standing in line for 20 minutes to check out. But with them being about $15 cheaper than anywhere else, I figured I'd stop back by and pick it up. I then darted next door to Hastings and picked up three books and a Chris Tomlin cd. I knew better than to pick up books, but I couldn't resist - buy 2, get the third free. So I got Allan Folsom's "Exile," Wil Wheaton's "Just a Geek," and Ben Rheder's third book in his Blanco County series.
I finally had one last stop I *HAD* to make. So about 9:15, I was at the vet clinic, picking up shampoo and deodorizing spray. By 9:40, I had psyched myself up to get the dogs washed. It helped, but not much. I left them outside the rest of the day. And Friday night I started on "Exile." I knew better. but I couldn't resist. I finished it up shortly after 10:00 Sunday night. I hate that man. It's his third book. It had the intrigue of his second book, and the urgency of his first. Personally, I think it's probably his best one of the three. At least right now. Let me mull it over for a bit, and I'll let you know.
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