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I need to stab something!!
#718364 03/21/08 03:08 PM
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Teronna Offline OP
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I'm really upset, and I need some place to vent. I'm going away to Florida for spring break starting the 29th, and will be gone for a week. My parents said it was ok if I invited my best friend who I've known since first grade. I invited her, and she said she could come, and seemed really excited about it. Then she calls me on Wednesday and tells me that she can't come, because her track coach said that if she went on vacation with someone other than her family, that her absences from track practices/meets would not be excused, and she would be in danger of being kicked off the team, even though she's a good runner and is on varsity.

The thing is, he told the whole team this only on Tuesday. Apparently going on vacation with your own family is fine, but not someone else's. The coach has coached my friend for 3 years now in both cross-country and track, and he knows that she's dedicated to her running and wouldn't slack off on training during break. (One of the first things she actually told me was that she was going to have to run every morning during break, which would be totally fine.) She's also honest, and a much better person that I am. If it were me, I would have pretended that I was going on vacation with my own family, but she doesn't want him mad at her, so she specifically asked him about her situation.

This makes me really mad. It is really none of the coach's business telling someone that if they go on vacation they will get kicked off the team. We have been planning this trip for awhile, and he JUST let the team know about the vacation policy on Tuesday. My friend, as much as I love her, has a problem standing up for herself. I have no problem whatsoever standing up for her, and had planned to talk to the coach, but she didn't want me to. (She thought he would be angry with her.) So I wrote him a letter explaining the situation and asking him to change his decision, and emailed it to him AND had it put in his mailbox at school. (I don't think he reads his emails.) I did this yesterday, and I'm thinking that if I don't get a reply from him in some form by Tuesday, that I'm going to make a point to find him and ask him if he got my letter/email. Depending on his response, I'll either drop it, or I might consider talking to the principal or head of the athletic department. It would be much better if my friend would do this, but she doesn't want to jeopardize her standing in the team.

By the way, the letter was super polite (which is amazing for me, I have a bad temper) and I specifically put in there that none of this was my friend's idea, and that he shouldn't be angry with her.

Did the coach cross the line? Is there anything else I should be doing?

(sorry for the long post)

Re: I need to stab something!!
#718365 03/21/08 04:20 PM
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High School sports coaches are some of the biggest ego-maniacs in the entire world. I don't miss that at all.

Re: I need to stab something!!
#718366 03/21/08 08:40 PM
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Teronna Offline OP
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Yeah, that's one reason I quit track and cross-country. The coach is a jerk.

Re: I need to stab something!!
#718367 03/21/08 08:53 PM
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Yeah! And so's Professor Xavier!!!

(sorry, I couldn't resist...classic Claremont moment!)

hug to Teronna


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Re: I need to stab something!!
#718368 03/21/08 09:10 PM
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my little sisters run track and they have been doing it for years out side of school,years ago my parents did what ever the coach said but over time they have let him know that they wont say how high when he says jump

i don't think you where wrong for being upset if this guy has been her coach and knows her, he would know how important track is to her. and her training habits, and wouldn't kick her off for something so little, his only argument could be that she didn't practice but he cant prove she didn't do it. i know my sisters track coach pretty well and that sounds like he'd just being a dick


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Re: I need to stab something!!
#718369 03/22/08 08:10 AM
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I realize track is probably very important to your friend, but if that was me, I'd go to Florida anyway and call the coach's bluff.

I'd also write the school board and complain about this tyrannical dictate - and that it was only given with late notice.


The childhood friend Exnihil never had.
Re: I need to stab something!!
#718370 03/22/08 11:26 AM
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Well, with this information it does seem like the coach is being arbitrary. Will the track team be meeting during the week for practice?

Teronna, I can understand you being upset about this. However, I think you were wrong to send the letter/e-mail to the coach no matter how polite you were. Your friend asked you to not talk to the coach. I would have talked to her parents (I presumed they had already given her premission to go to Florida with you) and see if they would talk to the coach.

Regardless, I hope you will have a good time down in Florida.


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Re: I need to stab something!!
#718371 03/22/08 06:39 PM
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Teronna Offline OP
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The track team will be meeting during break.

And yes, I probably shouldn't have sent the letter. My reasoning at the time was that if the coach ignored it, my friend would never hear about it. Which isn't good reasoning, but I was mad. Ugh, I just wish that she would have tried to do something about the situation, and not totally cave in to the coach's demands.

Thank you everyone. I'll try to not let my trip be soured by this. And I'll try to back off from the situation.


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