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Today I didn't have any classes and some Mystery Science Theater 3000 DVDs I ordered came in. So I stayed at home all day eating old pizza and drinking coffee and watching the movies.
Don't do nothing all day but eat pizza and drink coffee. My stomach just let me know, that's not actually a good idea. Not even if it's veggie pizza.
Especially not if it's veggie pizza with jalapenos and banana peppers. Ooooooogh...
Anyone else know some vitally important warnings that the people must hear?
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Cobras don't like to be touched! TRUST.
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Another warning from the past: smoked oysters are good, and burritos are good, but smoked oyster burritos leave something to be desired.
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Jack Daniels might act like he's your friend, but if you let him he'll burn you every time!
Just a word to the wise!
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Only buy a rotissere to cook chicken.
And to show I bear no ill will, I, too, shall bestow a gift...
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Make sure your vehicle is in PARK before you get out of it! One of the drivers that works for me learned that one the hard way...
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The answer to each of the following questions ... ~ Do I need to take a shower? ~ Do I need to brush my teeth? ~ Do I need to change my underwear? ... is always YES. If you have to ask, you have to. This has saved me a LOT of grief 
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Be sure to thoroughly search any newly purchased articles of clothing for stray straight pins before you put them on!
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Ahh, how many of these do I wish I had heard earlier in life?!
You can go cheap on napkins and cheap on paper towels to save money, but don't go cheap on the toilet paper!
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Originally posted by Mearl Dox:
Today I didn't have any classes and some Mystery Science Theater 3000 DVDs I ordered came in. So I stayed at home all day eating old pizza and drinking coffee and watching the movies.
Don't do nothing all day but eat pizza and drink coffee. My stomach just let me know, that's not actually a good idea. Not even if it's veggie pizza.
I think your stomach was reacting as much to the quality of the movies you were watching as the food.
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Bold Flavors
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Don't EVER think it's Ok to hang up on your significant other during a big fight. They will make sure you never forget you did it.
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When buying a computer, do not skimp on the monitor. You van do without certain bells and whistles. The monitor ain't one of them.
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Never try to clean your ears with your elbow. Let me save you the bother of trying by telling you here that it just ain't possible.
Legion Worlds Ten - the final chapter is here. Find out the ultimate fate of our fantastic future friends.Only found in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
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Never, EVER, try to out-stubborn a cat.
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If your dog is having diarrhea in the middle of the night, don't pick him up and try and get him outside. It's better to have the mess in one spot rather than all over yourself and trailing behind you down the stairs. (I speak from experience - bad experience. Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!) 
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If you work in an office and you sit there one day and cant remember who it is that everyone says they dislike......
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That's tragic!
If you get a spontaneous urge to buy something and see it for an outrageous price on e-bay, consider shopping around at other places before you do the "buy it now" option.
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don't eat yellow snow..... well, someone had to say it 
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Don't allow your friends to send you personal messages in the public section of a message board!
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After cutting chilis or hot peppers, always wash your hands immediately after, and be VERY careful what you scratch! 
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Never tell a Police Office "your badge don't mean $#!* to me", because I assure you it does to them, and they carry guns.
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In that vein, never joke around when you're pulled over for having a broken taillight, and pretend you've been drinking by calling the officer "Occifer."
They'll call you on it and make you step out of the car, take a sobriety test, etc. Very unpleasant even if you haven't had a drop to drink for days.
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Originally posted by Mearl Dox: After cutting chilis or hot peppers, always wash your hands immediately after, and be VERY careful what you scratch! And always wash your hands immediately and very carefully after handling raw meat. Don't forget and lick your fingers or anything. You could be puking your guts out for hours.
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The Present is Past
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The Present is Past
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Don't pick up squirrels from outside.
Not because they're dangerous, but because you have better things to do!
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