Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Every 10 Years Forum Calamity Monkey's Campaign Tree House

Come one, come all! Come and sit and discuss the various topics on your minds, as the Calamity Monkey Campaign Center makes you comfortable.

Please indulge yourself in an open forum to discuss political and cultural issues that you feel deserve some limelight, despite being pushed aside by the general public at large because they have been deemed too unimportant.

Or, if you prefer, simply step forward to the stage and read us some poetry or a passage that you've written, to express yourself as you see fit. There is no judging here, this is a place for free thought and expression to lead us on a journey with no coordinates.

Fresh bananas to be served for all, over to the right near the pamphlets showcasing the new philosophies of Greg Evignan Island, where exploration of the mind, body and spirit parallel the exploration of space and the unknown.

Please no throwing feces in this room, that is reserved for the tree house across the way. While debating with the other candidates is reserved for another thread, my opponents in this race may make themselves welcome here and be at ease with the surroundings.

I THINK that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the sweet earth's flowing breast;

A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;

A tree that may in summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.

Nice treehouse you have here CM. (I can call you CM?) Do you have any banana cream pie?

*settles into large rattan chair*

This is very nicely decorated for a tree house. I hope those are fair trade bananas!

**PURR**

Hi Calamity Monkey. Ignore the silly humans, it's time to "whip up your base" as they say...

<curls up on Cramer's lap>

So how are you planning to entice the Legion World pet population into voting for you?

**PURR**

I think this will be a great time for Jailbait Lass and myself to reenact the scene from "A Star Cruiser named Desire"!

Although that scene always works much better when Gil'Disphan are wandering around in back of stage. All plays work better with Gil'Disphan.

Mmm, Liberty Monkey has good taste in decor. I wonder if he tastes great too?

Am I the only one who finds it suspiscious that the monkey has completely disappeared the last couple of days?

I suspect foul play!

... someone was threatening to eat the monkey, if I recall right - and not (just) Monkey Eater Lad. Who was that?

*Gasp*

But I thought I heard someone say that Calamity Monkey'd be visiting that gorilla city in the jungle?

Not meaning to be a clipe or anything, but

IT WAS LARDY!

Hey, I haven'y lost yet! I promised not to harm him if I won---and I sure ain't conceding!

So, perhaps, just perhaps, the guy with monkey-eating in his name might be responsible if foul play is involved? Yeesh!

I think we have a genuine mystery here! Liberty Monkey has disappeared! Who could be responsible?

The Suspects
LARDLAD-- Threatened to eat the monkey if he lost the election
Kent Shakespeare-- Expressed his annoyance over the monkey being allowed to run in the election
Monkey-Eater Lad-- Eats monkeys, stupid!
Winema Wazzo-- A notorious villainous, also mysteriously absent the past few days
Ghost of Numf-el-- Wasn't he offering Monkey rowies over at the Emporium?
Eryk Davis Ester-- Liberty Monkey used to be his pet, but has recently announced his independence
Actor Lad-- I can't think of any reason he'd off the monkey, so that may just make him the most likely suspect!

Hey not saying that I woulda masticated the monkey if I had the chance (monkeys in clothes give me indegestion) but I didn't even have the chance! The chimp was chewed before I could even start the appetizers!

AHA!

Since we haven't found the body yet, who else but the killer would described a "chewed" body?

If anyone but the killer had seen a chewed body, wouldn't a good, upstanding citizen report the deed?

MEL, I am shocked.

The cat's out of the bag. Fess up. It may go easier for you.

Man, if Liberty Monkey's toast, what happens if he wins? Do all dead LWers come back and haunt us as ghosts? If so, do we also have ghosts of bananas to feed him with? Hell, do ghosts need to eat? And what if MEL can also eat ghost monkeys? We'll we have a ghost of a ghost monkey for leader? And can MEL eat the ghost of a ghost? If so, would we then have a--

Ow, my head.......

It wasn't me! It musta been a Durlan imposter posting as me! I have an alibi - I was on a lunch date with Koko!

*burp*

On the other hand, could this be an elaborate ploy to steal the ghost vote away from Numf-El?

Dear citizens of Legion World, I am honored by your concern for me, but fear not! I have been working long and hard in getting out to the lurkers in Legion World, to attempt to include them in this great election process.

I still hope to be a strong part of the LMB's future, and trust you will all vote with your hearts!

Good luck to all fellow candidates!

God...I'm so glad to see you alive that I won't eat you after all if I lose!

But just in case, better keep your distance......

So, the monkey's not dead?

Oh, well, that mystery at least kept thing's interesting for a day or two. How much longer does this election last?

Mrrrowwwww!

**Just stopping by to announce my support for the most heroic (and cute) candidate in this race. No one has defended Legion World and the Legion World Pets more staunchly than Calam...errr Liberty Monkey! Were it not for the Liberty Monkey and the Super Pets, Legion World would have been toast in the last Crisis! It's time to recognize the value of the Pets of Legion World and elect Liberty Monkey Leader!

Meeeowwwwwww!

*Queen Connie has spoken so make it so!

Hi there QC - you look just like one of my cats, Oscar.

Come here - if you roll over I'll stroke that soft white tummy of yours .....

Go on, you know you want to.

I have leaned toward the monkey from the start, but so far he's done nothing to curry my favor while other candidates such as Numf El, Actor Lad and Lardlad are currying it lately like there's no tomorrow.

Numf El was the first to curry my favor, while Actor Lad's currying showed politeness and thought. Lardy's currying involved the stroking of my bloated ego, which as everyone knows is always a good bet toward winning my favor.

So while these other worthy candidates are scurrying at currying, the monkey remains aloof towards me. I have to wonder if he really even wants my vote!

Liberty monkey, eh?

It seems a bit like a PR stunt - would he truly bring liberty or would electing him send Legion World spiraling into calamity?

I'm not entirely sure, though I do rather like the irony that is electing a monkey to office.

I too have to question the political wisdom of the monkey's stated strategy of reaching out to the lurkers, i.e. the proven non-participaters, when there are solid undecided voters among the regular posters.