Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Every 10 Years Forum Colonel Wellesley's Annual Holiday Orphan Benefit Dinner Pageant and Ball

Thanks for showing up everyone. I'll be your Emcee for this evening's proceedings. Remember have fun and feel free to ask some of our volunteers and the orphan's... of Space that they've brought with them about the wonderful programs your support provides.


So before dinner starts, why don't you take a look at the items generously donated for the silent auction. Feel free to bid we've got lots of stuff donated by the LMB. I know the girls and I'll be all over that athletic support provided by Cobie.

Have fun. I'm gonna go have some drinks under that hanging mistletoe garden by the bar. I'll be back to introduce some of the special guests of the evening

What an elegant ballroom! Well done, Nova Girl!

mmmm....champagne.

No champagne for me. I need a clear head to outbid you all on the tesseract.

Waitaminute...who put a date with Cobalt Kid on the auction? Oh well, we do what we must fo tth orphans.

Speaking of orphans, that young lady by the bar can't be any older than 15 and must be one. I'll, er, see what she's programs she knows about(and grab myself a bourbon)...

Poor orphans... How many of you are sole surviors of a doomed planet?

Do any of you get special powers when you eat Cream of Wheat or other Earthly cereal? I have a job for you perhaps.

Thanks for the invite, Ronnie! What a great excuse to go shopping... I mean help orphans. Yeah.

*grabs a glass of champagne, dragging her largest accessory (a.k.a. Actor Lad) along*

*Making small talk to a tuxedoed hottie*

I generally avoid society balls but decided to come since it's for a good cause. Hurray for space orphans! Is that Caliente singing torch songs on that piano over there? Say, who's auctioning a hammock, ..oh, that's Cobie's jock. Whoa, looks like Kent's hittin’ the sauce kind of hard. Hey, where'd you go....?

Tis a splendid celebration, Nova Girl.

And my presence here doth give me the appearance of being charitable...*cough*...that is, it doth give me an opportunity to be charitable. Yes, that was what I meant.

<arrives decked out in a tuxedo>

Er, I hope I'm not overdressed?

<looks around>

er...Miss Amora the Enchantress, right? I'm looking for Nova Girl...I think she's, er, supposed to be my date, but I wasn't quite clear on that...

<suddenly notices the theme from Beverly Hills Cop is playing>

Oh! Excuse me a moment!

<spontaneously breaks out into an impromptu dance, doing the Robot...badly.>

I may be human now, but it's the only dance I ever learned!

<Amora shakes her head in exasperation and suddenly takes an interest in the table with the Funyuns...which happens to be on the other side of the ballroom>

Ronnie, it's a spectacular do! I'm so glad we could all attend. Space orphans have a special place in my heart. My late, beloved Blaine was an orphan, after all.

{Looks over to Clyde, then turns to Time Teller Lad}

Tim, please schedule me to give a dance lesson to Clive tomorrow.

{A waltz begins playing}

Ah, Ram Boy, may I have the honour of this dance?

Sorry someone was saying? these crabcakes are soo good.

Oh my gawd, a robot date was a bad idea. That's the worst dancing since the guy with two heads was paired with Thora in that celebrity competition.

Excuse me, I need to get that hunky investment banker drop some coin on the kids. I'll loosen him up by asking about naked short positions in sugar. Almost too easy for a girl to get her hands on a banker's assets with a little money talk.

Oh! There's Miss Roni!

<waves frantically to Nova Girl>

Hiiii! It's me, Clive! Wanna bust a move?

<drops to the floor and does the worm...badly...as the waltz plays>

<talks to the same investment banker as Nova Girl>

Honestly Mr. B'ffet, investing in Legion World Security Office Bonds would be a smart move. We have big things planned in 2007. Like I always say, I'm not above making an enormous profit for the good of Legion World while I clean up the galaxy.

Ah, Ronnie, allow me to introduce you to W'rrn B'ffet. He's promised to make a large donation, but only after I've convinced him to let me take you away for a minute and dance the Shurg.

[aside]Clive, watch me for some pointers[/aside]

Shall we shurg?

Hccc'up Hccc'up Hccc'up

Hic!

Fine bottle of Port you have there Mr Tamper. Allow me to open this one and please tell me what you think

<shurging with Nova Girl>

Don't look now but Tamper and Faraway are on their fourth bottle of port and second box of cigars. This can't be good for the ball--or transglobal politics!

Young Mr Tamper and I were simply discussing whether Descartes or Rousseau’s philosophy was the best way to gain an understanding of 27th Century Pysonnian Romanticism.

Although I do have to admit that Tamper does have a delightfully Machiavellian turn of mind. At least he does if he’s not distracted by Nova Girls dancing.

<searching for coffee>

I love these weeks-long parties, but they do wear one down. I hope those darn orphans appreciate all this!

Yeahhhh! Party like your still a-liiiiiive!

Whoooooo!

Hic'p Hic'p Hic'p

Where da rich gurls at?

These charity things always attract people of questionable morals looking to hook up with others washing a year of sinful greed away by throwing a stack o' cash at some orphans.