Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Every 10 Years Forum The Inquisition

Posted outside of the Legion Embassy, is this note:

Under the order of a higher power, I, the Royal Inquisitor will now order the beginning of the Legion World Inquisition. Here is a list of those of you who have been found guilty of various crimes against the morality of mankind:

Emerald Empress for murder, regicide and use of magic.

Iron Rat for use of magic

Icefyre for sexual debauchery

Cobalt Kid for sexual debauchery, aiding a murderess


Semi Transparent Fellow, Varalant and Danny Blaine for owning establishments that encourage debauchery, innappropriate sexual behavior and drunken disorder.

Almost New Kid, Space Ranger, Super Lad Kid and Fat Cramer for aiding a murderess and cooperating with an amoral government.

And I also issue a warning to Princess Crujectra and Eyrk Davis Ester, that I serve a higher power and will hold you both accountable also.

This signature hereby acknowledges the beginning of the Inqusition:

Royal Inquisitor

Isn't regicide a form of murder?

And might I recommend adding the enslavement of free sentients to her crimes? She's attempting to hold a number of folks (including yours truly) in her "boy harem" against their will.

Don't forget Eryk's numerous crimes against fashion! *tee hee!*

Hey, my duds are the latest rage on Touston! Just because you come from a primitive part of the galaxy Lash...

You're gonna put somebody's eye out wih that hat one of these days!

Sentient, (If the word applies.)

As usual you have chosen to appear in the middle of the night to post a cryptic warning and then you disapear again. All without directly confronting any of the loyal citizens of Legion World. Could it be that you fear exposure?

You offer no proof to the validity of your authority. You skulk and scurry through back alleys and trace a torturous path down unlit streets. Are these the actions of an honest being or the evasions used to blur one's own criminal past?

Stand Before Us Sir! Come out in the light of day to make your statements and acusations. Show us the symbols of your authority.

I do not believe you have the required backbone.

Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(and I'm gonna shove his axe somewhere the sun don't shine)

I do not recognize the authority of this self-appointed "Royal Inquisitor" and his/her alleged higher power. Any attempt to interfere with my rights as a citizen of Legion World will be opposed with the most fierce opposition. I have begun sharpening my claws.

All together now !!!!!

The Inquisition Song

From "History of the World: Part 1" by Mel Brooks

The Inquisition (let's begin)
The Inquisition (look out, sin)
We have a mission to convert the Jews (Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew)
We're gonna teach them wrong from right
We're gonna help them see the light
And make an offer that they can't refuse (that those Jews just can't refuse)

Confess, don't be boring
Say yes, don't be dull
A fact you're ignoring
It's better to lose your skull cap than your skull (or your govalt!)
The Inquisition (what a show)
The Inquistion (here we go)
We know you're wishin' that we'd go away
But the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay!

"I was sitting in a temple
I was minding my own business
I was listening to a lovely Hebrew mass
Then these Papus persons plungered
And they throw me in a dungeon
And they shove a red hot poker up my ass
Is that considerate? Is that polite?
And not a tube of Preparation H in sight!"

"I'm sittin' flickin' chickens
And I'm lookin' through the pickins'
And suddenly these goyim pull down valls
I didn't even know them
And they grabbed my by the stoghum
And started playing ping pong with my balls!
Ooh, the agony! Ooh, the shame!
To make my privates public for a game?"

The Inquisition (what a show)
The Inquisition (here we go)
We know you're wishin' that we'd go away
But the Inquisition's here and it's here to --

"Hey Torquemada, walk this way"
"I just got back from the auto-de-fe"
"Auto-de-fe? What's an auto-de-fe?"
"It's what you oughtn't to do but you do anyway"

Will you convert? "No, no, no, no"
Will you confess? "No, no, no, no"
Will you revert? "No, no, no, no"
Will you say yes? "No, no, no, no!"
Now I asked in a nice way, I said, "Pretty please"
I bent their ears, now I'll work on their knees!

"Hey Torquemada, walk this way
We got a little game that you might wanna play
So pull that handle, try your luck
Who knows, Toq, you might win a buck!"

"How we doin', any converts today?"
"Not a one, nay, nay, nay"
"We flattened their fingers, we branded their buns!
Nothing is working! Send in the nuns!"

The Inquisition, what a show
The Inquisition, here we go
We know you're wishin' that we'd go away!
So all you Muslims and you Jews
We got big news for all of youse:
You'd better change your point of views TODAY!
'Cause the Inquisition's here and it's here to staaaay!

Hmm? Could this supposed Inquisition be somehow affiliated with the Starhavenite Embassy?

I would certainly hope not, Starhaven has always been friendly to Legion World and a supporter of the UP.

It will hardly be against your will, Eryk dear (unless you want it that way, of course. I can certainly play that role for you! )

Mr. In-Piss-itor:

Heed my words! You are truly pushing your luck around here. Show yourself in public and I will teach you a lesson you will never forget. Or, better yet, I'll let the great lady of LW, Fat Cramer, teach you manners. I've seen her handiwork against someone much more frightening than you. Why you'll be no more to her than a poor trapped mouse, given to a cat for entertainment.

You have been warned!

Emerald Empress

Mr. Inquisitor, I deny your baseless allegations. Furthermore it is my duty to adivse you that under the LWMB Uniform Innkeeepers Act, LWMB Civil Code §1004.3 et seq., I and all employees of SHAKES are authorized to defend the establishment with lethal force if the threat of harm has been made in writing and has identified the perpetrator. You have, in writing, made threats against the proprietors of SHAKES. Despite our repeated requests, you have provided no information on your purported authority. Therefore, we are authorized by law to disintegrate you, should you step foot in SHAKES. You have been given proper notice as required by LWMB Civil Code §1004.3(b)(7).

what he said ... oh, and ...

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I certainly never expected a Royal Inquisitor.

NOOOBODY expects the.....oh, you know the rest.

Is the inquisitor still around?

Gezz get with the picture 'Quisitorial one, like this is so 17th century!

Tsk tsk!

The security office notes that this complies with all Legion World Laws, and if such an act would occur, it would not be the Security office's concern.

However, Royal Inquisitor, you have now made yourself a concern of the Security office, and this poster himself. If you're not going to come out in public, I'm going to hunt you down and drag you out. Show yourself, and come out for a duel!

Will that be fisticuffs, pistols, or banjos?

Fisticuffs of course

I suppose you'll be wearing breeches and open chemises? Your shoes, will have silver buckles, and your hose will be silk. Each of you will have a gentleman attendant, I expect.

Royal Inquisitor when your all mean like that it really turns me on!!!!