Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Every 10 Years Forum SHAKES - ARCHIVE I (read only)

<Space Ranger makes notes concerning Semi's as yet unrevealed abilities, and decides that the next time he is in Shakes he doesn't need to order Kono Juice.>

My master would like the human which posts on this message board as Outdoor Miner to refer to the quoted post in the post which the human which posts on this message board as Outdoor Miner refers to before seeking to instruct the android which entered the establishment as Shakes on "tact."

My master asks the human which posts on this message board as Outdoor Miner the following question: would the human which posts on this message board as Outdoor Miner be as forgiving if the human which posts on this message board as Semi Transparent Fellow refused to serve bugs?

Pray tell what has happened here? Why it looks as if someone shot the place up! Such a shame to see such gorgeous triple marine varnished antique swinging saloon doors destroyed in such a manner!

Fix the doors she instructs the Eye of Ekron

<A green burst of light floods the room, blinding everyone momentarily. When everyone can see again the doors have been completely restored to their original mint antique condition. In addition, there is a gleaming new skylight where the hole in the ceiling use to be.>

<In his cruiser high above Legion World, Space Ranger wonders what the Empress is up to. And realizes that she is more than powerful enough to have busted up Frosty. And her Eye could be the cause of his strange delusions, well some of them anyway>

First, if your master truly cared about you (which he doesn't) he would correct your lingual subroutine so that you would not be such a pedantic bore. That is, get to the point, Droid, in as few words are as necessary.

Second, it's SHAKES, not Shakes. Don't you Droids have any consistency?

Third, SHAKES has never refused to serve bugs, and "bug" was a term of utmost affection when used in reference to Outdoor Miner.


Please remove your dented tin-can butt from the premises before I am forced to eject it once again.

Read and logged. Waltzing in like you owned the place was a bad idea.


Would I be happy about it? No.

Would I make veiled threats towards the bartender? No.

My master would like the humans which post on this message board to know that if they do not wish to see my master's android companion in the establishment known as SHAKES, then perhaps they should not involve the continuity of my master's school in their establishment without my master's knowledge.

We don't have a problem with androids, per se - only your Android's attitude. Perhaps soften his affect a little. And make him a tease (and get rid of the metallics). Then we'd like him - oh yes, give him a bubble butt. That's always a plus.

*Hrrrmmphhh* You'd think I'd get even a little bit of acknowledgement if saying thanksEmpress was asking too much!

<exits in a huff!>

Um, thanks Empress.

<Now less confused> In all the excitement, Empress, I really hadn't noticed your contribution. Now that things have quieted down, I see my restored triple marine varnished antique (and now authentic) swinging saloon doors.


How can I thank you? I am in your debt. (Oh, by the way, I'm of the silver age ilk and cannot be corrupted.) However, should you need my assistance for a noble crusade, I remain your servant. (for at least 40 credits worth).

Oh and oooh oooh, how could I have forgotten to thank you for my new triple galzed, ambient light deflecting, titatium reinforced safety glass sky light.

By gosh, you are just swell.

Remind me never to get on her bad side.

(peeks in through the newly-fixed swinging doors)

If it's safe, I'd like a stiff drink.

Maybe a triple Grey Goose and OJ.

Hey Kid, it's been hell in here. All sorts of neo-fascist types taking over all evening. Even Icey seems totally brain-washed. He thnks he's chaste. I tried to enlist the help of Italian boy, but even old "Meat Balls of Steel" couldn't be found. If Icey doesn't get some lovin' pretty quick, I think he's a goner.

I think we're going to have to enlist the aid of the Slut Patrol to take back Legion World. Since I've been out of the scene for a while, I'm counting on you to rally the troops.

By the way, don't be shocked, but Lash's gone all girly - yup, he's a tranny. I think we can get him back though. You've got to find Rokk Steady and convince him to give Lash a lap dance. That's his only hope.

What a bizarre chain of events...

I don't quite understand it all myself.

Beer, take me away.

Chains aren't even the half of it - however, they may come in handy in restraining Lash while he's undergoing gender re-establishment therapy.

There is a delicate matter to be considered. Lash's recent trransformations ironically seem to stem from an excess of testosterone. We surely want to saave him from that hormone level once he is restored.

Do yo have any suggestions?

Estrogen shots might be the answer.

That, and keeping him out of any thread started by Winema Wazzo.

Listen here 'roid! To answer your question, NO there is no love for your master's android companion. You should consider yourself lucky that someone trapped me in the Buffer Zone again yesterday (just wait until I find out who's doing THAT!) because had I been around when you threatened my SemiSweets there wouldn't be anything left of you right now! Not even one miniscule little piece of alloy!

Let me make this very clear so that your master doesn't need a translation. You mess with any of my friends again, but most especially with my Semi, and your done, caput, finis, terminado, terminated! Comprende?

V (as in VERY p*ssed off!)

Oh and Ranger! You'd better have one damn good explanation for me about what exactly that was that you put on the bar that ended up exploding! And just who the hell do you think you are coming in here and just blasting away with your little pop gun!

Let's make this very clear fo you too. There's a new sheriff in town. His name is Vee (as in Vigilant) and he's going to be watching all of you! One wrong move and you'll wish you had never been rebooted into this continuity!

<sitting in his Cruiser high above Legion World, Space Ranger wonders about the 'Exploding' cell phone. What could have caused that? Semi was right about one thing, cell phones do not explode. They melt at times, such as when he talks to his wives after an extended absence, but they do not explode. The Tangle field was not in place until after that incident, and anyway it wouldn't cause electronic devices to explode. Maybe I should have verified the electronic anti-lurking field's strength... That might have done it.>

*yawns*

<At least I can cross Vee's Name off of the Missing Prolific Posters list, he thinks.>

*Smiles*


Truth and Justice shall Prevail!

This one has arrived for her shift!

It is too quiet in here...

Johnny Walker Black, Double, on the rocks...

<realizes Mantis is behind the bar, does a double take>

I thought you were going somewhere else...

Bourbon on the rocks for me, and keep 'em coming.

Let me know when Frostfyre comes in, or Semi, the owner of this establishment. I'm still new to Legion World, despite my long past with several of the inhabitants, and need to get the low-down of what's going on.

This one will be going elsewhere, as soon as she serves everyone...

This one will do that...