Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Every 10 Years Forum LMB Infinite Crisis: The Legion World Temporary Command Center

<Extinguishes fire with an icy blast, then helps DB to his feet.> Tamper, Are you sure you're up to going out?

DB, are you all right?

Bah he's gone...

So are Cali and Frio dead? not Dead? I go away for a weekend and look what happens

They are dead (as chronicled in the Tesseract system) Joe-Boy. As for what else you missed if you ignore the lun-i-ticks running rampant, skies that are red, Bevis transformed into Lucien Lad, trouble at the Monitor's satellite, and necklaces that can destroy the universe it was pretty quiet.

Now where's that coffee JBL, I'm standing watch tonight.

yowza. I developed a new super-power over the weekend aswell: The ability to make a person shit themselves. So Watch out!

So you're now Spasmodic Colon Lad?

i'm fine... just slipped when he "kicked" me. i was a bit taken aback by his costume..all the colors..

joe boy if anyoen needs to shit themsleves its lucien lad.

One case of the Hershy squirts coming up.

green, if i may suggest a color.

I suggest Irritable Bowel Syndrome Boy.

It's a pretty cool power, whatever you call it.

i just wonder if the effect is caused by laughing, fear, or digestion?

Yeow! Guys, we have a problem! I can't remain separated for much longer!

(IBs Green, Red, Blue and Indigo start to fade)

Orange and Purple should be fading as well... Yellow should be safe, though, as he's on the Monitor's Ship. Something else else about that place negates the normal effect of time... I can sense it through our link. I'm sorry, but we're going to have to merge with the others out in space. I can't leave the hunt now...

Jailbait Lass, Tamper Lad, Rockhopper Lad, Disaster Boy, you guys are in charge of the Command Center for the time being... Reboot's been found, so concentate on getting Bevis back, please... And protect Legion World... Goodbye...

Hey, hey, what about LAM? I don't see him being re-named Invisible Kid...

Oops. Sory, I thought you were with Queen Connie and the other Pets. I thought she was going to plan another campaign... Thanks for holding the fort too, LAM.

Be careful, out there, IB.

So, anyone have any idea where Bevis or Lucien or whatever he calls himself has gone?

Top ten reasons why making someone shit themselves is the worlds best superpower:

10)Getting out of fights: Some big guy named Bruce over hear you saying something about how his name is reserved for fags and... fags and now wishes to pound you into a quivering pulp? Stare straight at him and will him to shit his pants. He will suddenly turn sheepish and walk with clenched ass cheeks to the nearest rest room. That's what he gets for being named, "Bruce."

9)April Fools: Do you keep on forgetting when it's April 1st? Do you hate when you get owned with some eggs and bologna on your car? Tired of the chalk in the eraser joke at school? Next time some one throws a cream pie in your face, just look at them calmly, then start a slow laugh. Something else else like this; "Mwa haha. Mwa Hahanah." Then look at them sinisterly until you are rolling around on the ground convulsing. They'll wonder what the fuck is wrong with you until you stop suddenly and bolt upright. This is the right time to make them shit their pants. Hard. Make sure it blows out their colon. It will be glorious.

8)Sporting events: Need the shave some points at a high school basket ball game so you only owe Ricky Fingaz three grand and a broken thumb? Making their star play squirt a little mud in his short shorts whenever he takes it to the whole or lets loose from three land will ensure a lack luster performance so you can cover the spread.

7)Catholic weddings: They take forever and all you have to look forward to is the reception where it's open bar for an hour. Expedite this process by giving the entire wedding party a little irritable bowel syndrome. It will be a veritable chorus line of gas and uncomfortable shifting as the groom's men would be hard pressed to explain shit stains to the tux rental place and the bride's maids fear of shitting in their panty hose, creating a nylon net of fecal matter.

6)Concerts: That bitch in front of you sitting on her boyfriend's shoulders blocking your view? A little ass stew on the back of his neck will be sure to get her dropped on hers. She'd later blame the 180 dB baseline for shaking the shit loose from her bowels. The paramedics won't care, they'd be to busy cutting of her shirt and saying she can't breathe. Man, those guys are so crafty.

5)Arm wrestling with Superman: You just bet your friend's girlfriend's virginity that you could beat Superman in an arm wrestling match, now you have to make good on it. Pretend that you are in danger, preferably in or around Metropolis. When he comes to save you, challenge his man hood in an arm wrestling match. As soon as you get the grip, make him have explosive diarrhea that annihilates a city block. He'll be so overcome with grief that you can slam his arm down and claim your prize. "Sorry, honey. Your boyfriend put your V card up for grabs in that match." After you blow your load, make her shit herself just for fun. Then say something incredibly Shwarzenegger-esque lik, "How does it feel to have the shit fucked out of you?"

4)The mall: Just make everyone shit themselves for being at the mall. God, they suck.

3)At the bar: Blackmail, pure and simple. Tell the bar keep to keep the free jagerbombs coming or else he's going to have a case of droopy drawers. And my droopy drawers, I mean pants full of shit. You'll save tons of money and get more action than you've ever had in your life. With your constant supply of free drinks, that little hottie that didn't even thank you for the first free one is drooling over your cock because she thinks you're mister money bags by the eighth. Show her wrong by taking her into the back of your neon green Geo Prizm and having your way with her, willing or otherwise.

2)Traffic: 20 mph in the fast lane is grounds for having your license suspended. Next time you find yourself on a crowded highway, make everyone's guts start to rumble. I don't care who you are, when you have to shit on the highway, you speed to the nearest rest stop. Some guy won't take the hint? Start him of with some anal leakage, then full blown mud butt if he still won't get out of the way. The only flaw with this tactic is that it won't work on old people. They shit themselves anyway, those gross bastards.

1)Trial for murder: Did you go into a homicidal rage and kill everyone within four square miles? Did you sign a confession in jail? Do you not have enough money for Johnny Cochran? Wondering how you can possibly not wind up in jail? Plead innocent and work your magic. As the prosecutor is outlining an iron clad case against you, make them shit their pants. Not just any load. Make sure it's a nasty, dehydrating one. They'll pass out from lack of water and have to be taken to the hospital. Is the jury scowling at you and every piece of damming evidence? A nice dump in unison should be enough to change their expressions and clear the court room. Blame it on the bag Chinese food and your home free. Mis trials will abound and you'll be in Acapulco writing your best selling book, "Murder And How To Get Away With It Better Than O.J."

NOW how many of you think that making people shit their pants is better than x-ray vision or flying?

What a charming turn this thread has taken...

Princess, I'm glad you are here. Do you have any idea where Bevis or Lucien Lad or whatever he's calling himself has gone?

He was just over at Shakes, I believe. After he threw tomatoes at me, I went in there to get some club soda to get out the stains.

LAM wonders: What has become of Bevis? Did the shapeless demons of Preztor take him over?

Nope. I'm right here, setting fire to the command centre again.

Mwahahahahahhahahah!!!!!

(Lucien lad runs off again)

Well, at least he's not whacking people again

Crujectra, can your fellow mages on Zerox come up with a spell which will exorcize the evil from Lucien Lad's body?

<Extinguishes fire again>

This boy needs serious help!