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I need to vent, care to listen?
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 41
Honorary
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OP
Honorary
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 41 |
Alright I just need to vent and this is one of the sites I know none of my friends (where I live) or family visits, and this is the problem I have:
Alright there is this girl I like, and she has been my friend for the last few years and well this year we've grown closer and had some moments that have given me the clue that she likes me and I like her. Sounds easy right? well here is the conflict: My cousin liked her too, and my cousin never has had a girlfriend before and we've been in Love triangles, like 3 between, last year and this one, including this one, so he said he was going to ask her out next time he sees her and I was thinking it through and was like well I am not sure about my feelings for her, and then started thinking the good ol' what if? What if I don't ask her out and it is the biggest mistake of my life and what if is she the right girl for me. So I decide to ask her out and we had a date, right? And it went great we talked a lot and clicked, well after I told my cousin earlier that day, he got really depressed because he didn't get the girl again, which depresses me, because why do I keep have to do this to him again, anyways during the date my friend, comes and sees us together and doesn't understand but then gets mad after he talked to my cousin who said she liked her too.
So after that moment he goes off, and we find out afterwards that he wants to voice his concerns about us...
Now I don't know about anyone else but it was just one date! you should keep your concerns to yourself, especially if we didn't voice concerns to him when he got back with his ex, earlier in the year.
So that pissed us off, and then the next day, because we couldn't get him to talk that day, he talks about his concerns, and after that he pisses the girl off because he doesn't think she's changed because she has gotten really angry at times, but she's gotten able to control it now.
Now after that, she was mad and took it out on my friend but the two of them worked it out, so after that my Brother wants to tell me his concerns about dating her, and that turns into a big fight, and well he thinks her anger is targeted and wrong the past times, but I know she is better and that she only gets angry at valid reasons, but my brother thinks that she isn't the girl for me and that he thinks I should go out with this other girl who is dating someone else, who is a good friend of mine. My brother is one of the ones you know who is most of the time right, well I am like that too, so I don't know what to do, and my brother doesn't want me to date her but he doesn't know her as well as I do and I understand his reasonings but I really do have feelings for her and want to go out with her.
I mean today she came down to the place where I just got hired, because it is a picture place and I told her I was going down there today the day before, and I think she went down there just to see me.
I am going to talk to her about a second date and see tomorrow.
So what do you guys think of my love life right now?
"There is always a solution to every Obstacle."-Karate Kid
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Re: I need to vent, care to listen?
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 12,843
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 12,843 |
First, its your life, not your friends or even your families'. What you want is important.
Second, be honest with yourself. If you want to date her because you like her, then date her. If you want to date her because there will be drama(hopefully not blood, lol), then thats something you need to look at. Sounds like you are a young person, late teens, early twenties, right?
Third...and this is the dangerous point, be sure about her anger. Is it rational, or are you excusing it because you like her. Don't...to use an old expression...fall in love with love. Be with her because of her.
And finally...life is short, you know the truth, don't lie to yourself. Everyone does, and most choices are difficult to make for most people because they know the right choice for them and either don't like it or want someone else to approve it for them. Know thyself...and your path will be extremely clear.
either way, good luck.
Damn you, you kids! Get off my lawn or I'm callin' tha cops!
Something pithy!
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Re: I need to vent, care to listen?
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 10,215
Time Trapper
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Time Trapper
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 10,215 |
L888, Here's the opposite advice from rickshaw1's.... you have been terrible to your cousin, and your brother and friend are trying to look out for you. Do you tend to make bad choices? Is this one of those moments? Maybe you should listen to them.
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Re: I need to vent, care to listen?
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 40,648
Trap Timer
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Trap Timer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 40,648 |
My instinct, for what it's worth, is that if there's this much drama going into a relationship, it's probably not a good thing.
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Re: I need to vent, care to listen?
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 713
Active
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Active
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 713 |
Blood is thicker then water... If you continue to fight with your brother and your cousin over some girl, you are setting yourself up for terrible karmic consequences. At your age the chances that this girl is 'the one' are about a billion to one. Let the drama go before something happens that you cannot take back. Also, I suggest fishing in a larger dating pond. Surely there are more girls in the greater Las Vegas area then this one chick.......
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Re: I need to vent, care to listen?
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,078
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,078 |
^^^^ Hey! I remember you ^^^^
Oh yeah, OT. Relationship advice. Do the opposite of whatever I'd do.
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Re: I need to vent, care to listen?
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,078
Wanderer
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Wanderer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 6,078 |
^^^^ Hey! I remember you ^^^^
Oh yeah, OT. Relationship advice. Do the opposite of whatever I'd do.
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Re: I need to vent, care to listen?
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 41
Honorary
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OP
Honorary
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 41 |
Originally posted by Saturn Girl: Blood is thicker then water... If you continue to fight with your brother and your cousin over some girl, you are setting yourself up for terrible karmic consequences. At your age the chances that this girl is 'the one' are about a billion to one. Let the drama go before something happens that you cannot take back. Also, I suggest fishing in a larger dating pond. Surely there are more girls in the greater Las Vegas area then this one chick....... True there is more than this girl but still I am just trying to have a second date with her, which is probably going to happen to see if it will work. Also my last girlfriend lived in England so I want a girlfriend closer than that. Thanks for the advice everyone. Also there is part of me that just wants everyone to work things out because we are all friends and they are all thick-headed and I guess I just want everyone to treat each other like friends should, which isn't asking much is it?
"There is always a solution to every Obstacle."-Karate Kid
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Re: I need to vent, care to listen?
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 989
Active
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Active
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 989 |
easier said then done when youre not on the receiving end of betrayal.
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