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okay. i do not usually talk about life too much on this board. mainly an opportunity thing.
but this week has been pretty intense and i'm not able to talk elsewhere.

I finally left my job. according to management because i refused treatment to a cancer patient. Luckiy i have 4/5 coworkers & documentation putting other stuff down so's that's working ok.

Secondly (wednesday) a gay friend of mine was being beaten up by his boyfriend. Going the full pash with him in front of all at our regular, claiming him & making the boyfriend on the outer seemed the right thing to do at the time.
i've got some interesting bruises from getting thrown out of the pub.


So. i'm here in a situation where work is lying about me & resume is gonna be wierd.

my friend has decided "no i love him no matter how many times i'm punched in the face".

i'm (apart from the bruises) wierded out cauz i don't know how t help him and it's spilled over to my life because i 'came out'.*

*still het, amazed at the people upset with me for actually knowing the guy.

have spent the last couple of days not driving my car into solid objects. Any advice?

i apologize for getting deep here, y can guess why i'm kinda out of it. Helping friend first. punching nout people second. Ideas?

i aplologise. just needed to vent. got soem friends who'll help me thru this, just in bad place. sorry

NO apologies necessary Kid Psychout. This is always a good place to vent. The posters here are very understanding and quite helpful.

Kid Psychout,

I don't have much real experience with domestic abuse, but here are somethings I heard about the dynamics.

For one thing, the abused partner sometimes stays in the relationship because breaking it off means admitting that he/she made a mistake. And you know how hard it is for people to admit mistakes. So it seems that trying to pressure your friend to leave probably won't work.

I have also heard that abusers work to lower their victim's self-esteem. So doing what you can to build your friend's self-esteem would probably help.

Here is a link to a domestic Violence program in Melbourne http://www.salvationarmy.org.au/melbourne/domestic/default.asp Although it is for women, they may be able to provide you with some advice.

We're seeing the return of the 'Australia Says No to Violence Against Women' advertisements, but I'm sure that their counsellors will also have details for the other 50% of the population, and who they can talk to.
Violence from someone that supposedly loves you, and people that still love those that are violent against them... both concepts mess with my head. I hope things can work out for you, but remember that there's only so much you can do, and if you're suffering bruises and mental anguish on account of someone elses' problems, maybe it's time to step back.
But just remember - if you saw someone beating up someone you knew, you'd report it, yeah? Why should things be different just because the two parties happen to be in a relationship?
Look after yourself, Kid...

Looks like you've ended up in a bad place there Kid.

I don't have any answers for you - just best wishes.

Hopefully things have improved in the last week or so.

K'N

I have never understood why people stay in violent relationships. I grew up in a single parent home and my mom married this one guy who abused her and us kids..and it went on for years. It finally ended but left so much baggage.

KP..stand by your friend and be there when he needs you..but make sure you let him know this relationship can not continue...love is not shown with hate and violence.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.. I hope things get better for you as well. Do not give up!

hey man,
i've used this site a few times for heavier problems than "I can't believe they're rebooting the Legion again!" venting ... and i was pleasantly surprised at how supportive and insightful folks are here

(of course, the mission monitor board forum is where most folks here talk personal, at least in my admittedly limited experience)

dude, when it rains it pours, right?

the job means it was time to move on - be thankful that you've the opportunity to find something else more fitting to you ... you don't have to lie on a resume or reference, just be careful about how you disclose any information (and remember that ANYONE you worked with at the company can count as your professional reference - collegial counts too) ... practice discussing the experience so that you don't come off bitter or nasty - it's unattractive in a prospective employee/co-worker

as for your bud - give him a talking to, be soft but stern ... let him know where his path goes ... remind him you care about him ... and then he has to make some choices - you might not see him for awhile until he's done with the bruising bastard (i definitely think you should opt to stay out of the a$$wipe's proximity, for your sake as well as his -- those guys aren't worth it)

that's how i dealt with my cousin when she was involved with a prick like that (after pounding him at a family dinner for shoving her down) ... she didn't talk to me for a year, but she does now - and she's married to another guy with their 2nd kid ... she's still messed-in-the-head, but i expect that's how it'll be for her
(sometimes one lifetime isn't enough to undo the damage, right?)

good luck
hope things get better
(and remember, most things do, every day a little bit)
--andy

well.. i certainly couldn't give you any advice about driving. i have an older suv with a metal bumper. thats my solution!

coming out can be tough, www.hrc.org has some basic advice and resources. maybe soemthing on domestic abuse too.

hope everything gets better soon, sounds like you need a break.