Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION The Anywhere Machine Family Issues

Guys, you're gonna have to wish me good luck, as I am going to swallow my pride in the worst possible way for the sake of my brother's Christmas. And for one of you.

I guess I worry about whether or not I'm a good person sometimes like... well...

In terms of school, I feel like I don't deserve to be there. I don't study as hard as everyone else or do most of the homework like the reading, and yet somehow I get by with grades in the 80s, the lowest being in the 70s. I just feel like I'm incredible lucky and I don't deserve it.

it been a while but problems like my family has don't really go away

i come from a largish family, counting all my siblings i have 5 i have met and one that never met before my mom divorced her second husband

my dad had two kids with my stepmother and she brought her son from a previous marriage, my real mom had a kid with a boyfriend around the same time my sisters from my stepmom

when it comes to my dad and step mom my older brother, my older sister, and i have never been loved as much as my step mother and father have loved the two new kids

my stepmom is abusive and mean and its a miracle my brother still talks to her, my older sister is around in the summer to use the pool and at Xmas and my thanksgiving calls to let the rents know she is alive every few weeks and thats pretty much the extent of their relationship.

as kids my sister and brother got a long swimmingly, they are 3 years apart and i am 3 years younger then my older sister and 6 years younger then my stepbrother. since they meet my older sister and brother have been close. my brother sort of has this bug up his ass about me for reasons i kinda get but think as a 30 year old man with a wife he needs to get over, since i never did anything to him personally, and he just sees himself as a victim

my older sister and i have never really gotten along. when i was a kid she was pissed i took her life as an only child away, but once i moved away its hasn't really been a problem since we don't talk, in fact as a teen the only conversation i had with her is she would say "why dont you call dad?" to my response, "well why don't you call mom."

in the beginning of May i told my family i was moving out. (around the time they had a bday party for me with out inviting me to it) the response i got was "yeah right."

once i packed up things all i asked of my parents was to keep the bed i was sleeping on cause i needed one. my dad told me he'd get buy a new one, when it came time for me to leave, my stepmom last words to me were ' you took my Quilt I want it back."(by the way i didn't take it) my dad sent me off with a hand shake and no bed.

i don't have any kind of health care and over the course of moving my boss's house and mine stuff and sleeping on a blow up bed i really messed up my back that took a lot of time and two friends 1:40 minutes to make my back anything but a giant pain filled knot. i only reason i have a bed now is i begged my boss to give me his old futon

the only my dad had said at any kind length to me in years was he didn't want me to be a financial burden to him, the he wanted me to be independent. all summer ive been broke and near starvation once or twice

I havent spoken to my stepmom or dad since i moved out.i am very angry at them and i need space to calm down.

last time i talked to my older sister she called me out of the blue and for the first time in a long time sounded if she was worried about me and what was happening with my life until said 'dad wants to know why you don't talk to him."
i screamed at her for twenty five minutes explaining why i don't talk to him. as usual she pointed out, "well you know how they are. and that we aren't exactly beloved with them." to my response of. 'yeah and the only way i can tolerate being in the same room at some point with them is right now i need space. then i said to her 'you know what if that's all your going to call me for then you can just shove it. we are adults you are 27 im 24 if our parents want to know about me from you, hand them my number and tell them to call me and tell them the truth that we dont talk because frankly we arent close and im sick of this we have never been close and i dont want this kind of relationship with you if you want to talk me and talk to your sister im fine with that but i don't need you to be another guilt trip every time we talk." she agreed she wouldn't be like that said fine and i haven't talked to her once but we have emailed a few times

i had a kinda rough weekend and was talking it over with a friend when MY MOTHER who is living in FL who can only say bad things about my dad and stepmom, calls me. the very first words out of my mouth to my mom are. "i had a fight with a roomate and im kinda talking it out with another friend can i call you back in a bit?" my MOTHER screams at me that its important and i need to talk to her, so i get off the phone with my Super nice awesome friend who super kind, and my mom starts laying into why am i not calling my dad and how she has to hear it from my older sister

i go ballistic, i am still very very hurt from the way i was treated when i was living with my dad, i know my parents wont change, the only way i can cope having these horrible people in my life is not talk to them until the emotional and physical wounds don't hurt as much. and ive have a rough weekend. i didn't need it right. now i cant stop myself crying.

all and all i am super pissed at my sister beacuse for the first time in a long i thought her and i were on the same page i thought the last few times we emailed we were slowly getting to a point where we could finally get to know one another, i even told he i'd go home for xmas and i feel SOO STUPID for believing that she wasn't trying to just use me to stop hearing MY DAD and step mom bitch

I, I'm sorry... all I do is bitch about how my parents are the reason I don't do homework, and you... I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

to make every thing worse i got into it with my sister this morning, and told me i need to let bygones be bygones and my father has gotten me a hooked up gift and need to come home

i told her i was never not, she then accused me of only coming cause i wanted this mysterious gift, i told her that fine dont bother to get me that i wanted to hang out with my friends and watch doctor who more any way and to relax ill call my dad and say hi on xmas. she then agrees to get me Friday morning and throws in one more jab about me be being ungrateful and that need to call dad, to my responce of im an adult i get to pick who i want in my life. she then says i'll come get you if you want to come

i latter called my sister my mom had with a BF and she lets it out what the gift is,

A CAR

i got rid of my car months ago because i couldn't afford insurance on it, let alone upkeep and gas. of all the things i need a car is really low on the list

so now im between rock hard place, if i go it looks like i only went to get this gift, and im ungrateful when i refuse it, ungrateful and spoiled if i dont go

Guilt. Whoever came up with it is a genius and a maniac.

i believe it was the catholics

LOL!! No need for guilt. Everybody thinks their problems are the worst because their YOUR PROBLEMS!!
Nothing wrong with venting.

I apologize on behalf of my religion.

Actually, a Jewish mother can outdo any Catholic when it comes to guilt!

<span class="spoiler_containter"><span class="spoiler_wording">Click Here For A Spoiler</span><span class="spoiler_text">"Jews own guilt. Catholics only rent it." <span style="font-size: 10px;">Sorry. Old joke.</span></span></span>

i would think she would be blaming herself over you..


i was raised catholic and by Jewish religion im Jewish i have no defense against guilt all my friends use it against me constantly

i was raised "Bubba".

You know, looking back on things, I think the only reason my mom did the job of raising my brother and I while my dad worked was because she HAD to.

Now that she's out of the house with her boyfriend, and my brother worrying that he's manic depressive and having mood swings...

I don't think either my mom or my dad should've had kids.

My brother thinks I have Asperger's Syndrome.

With 2010 ending and a new year beginning, sit back, take a deep breath, and focus on the positive.

Nettie's on an IV tube, Nana's on an IV tube, they aren't eating, I just, I'm calm but I, I don't know what to do.

Nettie's out of bed, but still on the IV.

Nana's still in bed and on the IV.

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time, but...

TMI, Hon. I'm not a mod, but seriously. Your Mom's full name + a slur = very much TMI.

I'm so sorry Cleome. Please, I didn't mean to be vulgar. It's just, it's been a very hard week. That's no excuse, but still.

Here's a tip:

Type it out next time before you post, walk away for five minutes (or ten, or twenty, and then come back and see if it still seems like such a great idea to post it).

And what some folks said earlier on in this thread still applies: there's not much a message board can really do for you when you're going through this kind of thing. Find some RL person to talk to about it whose not friend or family. Confidentially. Much better for everyone involved.

Yeah, I know.

Guys, it's been so long since I updated this post.

Nana's gone, Nettie's gone, I haven't been to school or work in a week, I don't know if I'm going to class, I got away from home for a day or two but, even with how fun the Comic Book Marketplace was, I feel like I've been going in circles.

I just want to go away from New York in general for a little bit, maybe once I'm out and away from the places that cause me stress I'll be able to put a different perspective on things, but, I don't know.

Thank you again for your infinite patience everyone.

...do I make you guys, well, uncomfortable with the things I try to talk about?