Legion World Forums LEGION OUTPOST Mission Monitor Board Every 10 Years Forum Cobalt's Office of Security - Original Silver Age Thread!

That's good to hear BRM, especially your concern over any legal embarrassment you might suffer.

However, if you ever would like to get yourself a little safety net for your 'F.G. Superman' identity, I could certainly pull some strings and get it recognized as a Peace Officer of Legion World. Let me know what you think.

And thank you for the positive feedback!

Hey!! Those jewels changed me back to normal!! Oh well, it was an *educational* experience while it lasted anyway...

/conspiratorial whisper on/

Hey Cobie, here are the diamonds Hrun took from Lash's statue. As you know he gave them to me as a gift for welcoming him into my Villa. That seems to be the way to get Hrun to do the things you want of his own accord. He really is a likable sort, just has a unique way of displaying it I think. Mead and carousing and mead and bardic singing and MEAD and axe throwing and MEAD!! seem to work very well.

/conspiratorial whisper off/

Psst, thanks Vee! I've found the same to be true with my dealings with Hrun. To be honest, I find him to be pretty likable too!

If we can change a few of his perceptions on slavery and thievery, he might make a hell of an LMBer!

A dragon ship awaits, who will join me in an expedition to gain honour, treasure and slaves

My armies are preparing my own ships for this venture, Hrun!

Glory awaits us!

Where are we sailing to?!

I hear there is an Empress in a Faraway land, dripping in Emeralds. Yet she has no army to protect her. A swift sailing, a strong thrust, and we may gain much from this raid.

ARE YOU WITH ME

The Empress of which you speak, Hrun, may be a bit too faraway and is quite powerful in her own right. She needs no army since her Eye suffices but she does enjoy thrusting manuevers if performed to her high expectations.

DON'T GO!!!!

It's a trap!

Hrun is really Glorith!!!

Hrun is no woman!!!!!!

For that I shall take your "replica flight ring (tm)" as wergild for my insult

The Empress should be appearing soon, since she is a high-ranking security officer for this office!

What Faraway land do you speak of Hrun? Perhaps you've heard of the royal Legion World ambassador, Faraway Lad?

<SC exits a tesseract that leads to Space Ranger's office>

**Purr**

"The Ranger is still safely tucked away in the Mousehole Dimension, so this will make a great place to hide Humfble's Helmet. Now I need to get that axe away from him so we can settle this Mano e' Gato! (or something like that)"

**Purr**

<Re-enters tesseract, resumes hunting>

Stoopid Cat, I'd like to speak to Space Ranger some time, if you can find a way to get him back here. We came very close to having an Alt ID rebellion a few months back, and I'm concerned that Space Ranger has left us for good.

His job at the Security Office is still open (and I can use a man like him, instead of that statue-destroying Green Lantern of a brother he has...)

**Purr**

The Ranger has spent the last few months trapped in the Mousehole Dimension. He should have listened when I tried to talk him out of that altID rebellion idea, but no he had to listen to the Royal Executioner and that jerk Dr. K-Nine.

He'll find his way out of there eventually...

**Purr**

Yeah, where's that Ranger been. I still have his special blow up cushion for his bar stool. (Ranger is never going to live down the golden dildo of Takron.)

COBIE!!!

I want to talk to you Des, where are you?

<Harbinger appears to be a trifle miffed as she stands with feet shoulder width apart, hands on hips and a gimlet look in her eyes that would scare a rabid mongoose>

(Uh-oh. I have a feeling that this isn't going to be good).

Anything I can do help you today, B?

(I'm scared, but can't help but notice how cute 'Binger is when she's mad...)

Cobalt,

Thank you for your time. I know that as Chief of Legion Worlds security you have access to all sorts of information and secrets that mean that sometimes you allow certain situations and events to happen, all for the greater good of the wonderful denizens here BUT (you knew that was coming didn't you ) I'm horrified at your absolute lack of action towards the thuggish bully Hrundrum the Barbarian, why just this evening (morning where you are probably) I was petting my favourite cutie tom cat Stoopid Cat when I noticed he has had CHUNKS torn out of his beautiful coat by that <excessive swearing starts up again! > Hrun.

WHAT are YOU going to do about it now to reassure the mild mannered and generally pleasant people, beings and other sentients aboard Legion World that this brutal behaviour will stop?

Eh?

Well don't stand there looking at your feet muttering apologies, that isn't good enough Cobalt, how are the law abiding and sensitive population ever going to trust in you again if you turn a blind eye to this sort of barbaric behaviour?

And don't tell me it's alright as he's a gen-u-ine Barbarian, that simply isn't good enough!

And don't think I don't see you sneaking off to write fanfics either!

(Yup, now I'm scared.)

Harbinger, you're right in assuming that I know a large variety of secrets that I cannot reveal to the general public at this time. I want you to know that I'm currently working on the Hrun situation, and have come with two or three alternative ways of dealing with the problem.

Currently, I'm working on a plan of drafting Hrun and SC as Security officers and making them partners. However, I'll have to see if this works out before I take more drastic measures.

By the way, care for a pretzel? Abin Quank created this Pretzel machine for me a few months ago when I was a giant Amoeba.

Anyway, I'm working on the case as we speak. As you know, of the two involved in the vendetta, one is stoopid and the other is a barbarian. It's not going to be easy.

By the way, that is a lovely fragrance you're wearing. It's very intoxicating. Mmmmm.

As I was saying, I'll be right on it, and I've also dispatched one of my top agents, the Emerald Empress to the case as well.

Now, how about a glass of something to get the day started, before I begin fixing this ongoing problem?

(I think Space Ranger would be proud of the way I handled that...)

Ahemm.

I mean

You know by now I don't do carboydrates so stop trying to tempt me with that pretzel.

Though it does smell nice

Oh go on then, while I'm waiting.

<B does her patented foot tapping in impatience>

Somewhere in the Mousehole Dimension a weary and Confused Space Ranger begins to chuckle to himself, sensing that his old friends are thinking of him.

Simultaneously his Butt begins to throb in rememberance of a certain event that he would love to forget (but most likely never will)

"Okay SC, you were right! Now please show me the way out of here!"

A smiling cheshire cat's face appears...

< Harbinger, mouth full of delicious pretzel -thanks Cobie- thinks to herself "if only my old stalwart friend Spaced Ranger were here, he wouldn't stand for any of these cat bashing shenanigans" >

*munch munch*

<foot still tapping in impatience - waiting for a conclusion - that she favours - to the current Hrundrum the Barbarian/ cutie Stoopid Cat vendetta>

<still waiting. Foot tapping. Pretzel munching>

How about a nice glass of wine to go with that pretzel?

<Hands her a glass of wine>

Well, not much to do about Hrun until he shows himself again! I'll be sure to take care of it though!

Mm, did I tell you how good you smell?

Anyway, I've left Hrun and SC my message about their pairing as security officers, so now I need to know where Hrun stands.

And I wish Space Ranger were here right about now...Stoopid Cat should be able to rescue him with his terrasact technology...

<refills Harbinger's glass so it's full, munches on own pretzel>

<Harbinger steals a bite off Cobsters pretzel, glugs wine and says sternly:

I have to go now Cobalt, I hope you'll give this matter some serious thought and get back to me soon before I need to get involved and take action.

<then adds, almost coyly >

Thanks for the pretzels and wine sweetheart