Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION The Anywhere Machine Random quote madness!!!

"The high office of President has been used to foment a plot to destroy the Americans freedom, and before I leave office I must inform the citizen of his plight."

John Fitzgerald Kennedy at Columbia University, 10 days before his assassination.

"Sorry, your worship!"

"Would you PLEASE stop calling me that?"

"Sure, Leia."

"You know, you make it REALLY hard sometimes."

"I do, I really do. You could be a bit nicer, though. Admit it, sometimes you think I'm all right."

"Occasionally. When you aren't acting like a scoundrel."

"A scoundrel? SCOUNDREL? I like the sound of that."

"Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"My hands are dirty."

"My hands are dirty too. What are you afraid of?"

"Afraid? I'm not afraid."

"You're trembling. You like me BECAUSE I'm a scoundrel. You need a scoundrel in your life."

"I happen to like nice men."

"I'm nice men."

"Ho you're not, you're MMMMMMMPPPPPHHHHH"

<<<BIG KISS>>>

"Sir! Sir! I think I've isolated the problem in the reverse power coupling!!!"

“Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18.” - Einstein

“There ought to be one day -- just one -- when there is open season on senators.” - Will Rogers

“Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.” - Groucho Marx

BWAHAHAHAHA

"All right, everybody line up alphabetically according to your height." - Casey Stengel

“On the other hand, you have different fingers.” - Steven Wright

“I'm never wrong. I once thought I was wrong, turns out, I was mistaken.” - Unknown

“Life is a long lesson in humility.” - James M. Barrie

“The deepest definition of youth is life as yet untouched by tragedy.” - Alfred North Whitehead

“I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize” - Steven Wright

“Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity.” - G.K. Chesterton

“The Way of the sage is to act but not to compete.” - Lao-tzu

“Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps”. - Emo Phillips

“I have nothing new to teach the world. Truth and Non-violence are as old as the hills. All I have done is to try experiments in both on as vast a scale as I could.” - Gandhi

“If Barbie is so popular, why do we have to buy her friends?” - Steven Wright

“He who knows others is wise; he who know himself is enlightened.” - Lao-tzu

“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” -
Shakespeare

“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.” - Albert Einstein

"The only thing worse than a Mets game is a Mets double header." - Casey Stengel

“Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can.” - Elsa Maxwell

“It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.” - Steven Wright

"Son, we'd like to keep you around this season but we're going to try and win a pennant." - Casey Stengel

"If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it." - W.C. Fields

"There comes a time in every man's life and I've had plenty of them." - Casey Stengel

“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.” - Steven Wright

“The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.” - Somerset Maugham

First, a disclaimer. I do not support the first quote I'm about to post. I'm posting it as an example of some of the stupid things anyone can say. I'm not sure if the statement was taken back or apologized for.

"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."

John Wayne

"All battles are fought by scared men who would have rather have been somewhere else."

John Wayne

"There is no reason why good cannot triumph as often as evil. The triumph of anything is a matter of organisation. If there are such things as angels, hope that they are organised along the lines of the Mafia."

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., The Sirens of Titan

"The two prime movers in the Universe are Time and Luck."

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

"When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you." Lao-Tzu

"To see things in the seed, that is genius." Lao-Tzu

"The softest things in the world overcome the hardest things in the world." Lao-Tzu

"Those who know do not speak Those that speak do not know." Lao-Tzu, Tao Te Ching

"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness Kindness in giving creates love." Lao-Tzu

"I get by with a little help from my friends." John Lennon

"All you need is love." John Lennon

"All we are saying is: give peace a chance." John Lennon

"Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will live as one." John Lennon

"We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it." John Lennon

"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing." Agatha Christie

"If one sticks too rigidly to one's principles, one would hardly see anybody." Agatha Christie

"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path." Agatha Christie

"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!" -Homer Simpson

“Be sincere; be brief; be seated.” - Franklin D. Roosevelt

“Not to be absolutely certain is, I think, one of the essential things in rationality.” - Bertrand Russell

“Humor is not a mood but a way of looking at the world.” - Ludwig Wittgenstein

"Now there's three things you can do in a baseball game: you can win or you can lose or it can rain." - Casey Stengel

"Follow your dreams. You can meet your goals. I am living proof. Beefcake! BEEFCAKE!!!" Eric Cartman (Weight Gainer 4000)

"The fireman is very magical. Rub his helmut and he spits in your eye." Eric Cartman (Ike's Wee Wee)

"DUDE, THAT IS NOT COOL!!! CHOPPING OFF WEE-WEES IS NOT COOL!!!" Eric Cartman (Ike's Wee Wee)

"We're never gunna get any candy if Kenny keeps eating people!" Eric Cartman (Pink Eye)

"Why is it that everything today has to do with things either going in or coming out of my ass???" Eric Cartman (Cartman Gets An Anal Probe)

"I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die" Mr.Garrison, on the female sex organ (The Movie)